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The Fart Gap: Why Red Pillers think that women should never fart — or fart-shame their flatulent men

Owner of a lonely fart
Owner of a lonely fart

Ladies, we need to talk. About farting.

It has recently come to my attention that women sometimes fart. And that some of you even do it in the presence of men – including the men whom you allegedly love.

This is a gigantic no-no, a sign of disrespect for your man’s manliness. Also, never criticize his farting, because that too is a sign of disrespect for his manliness.

At least according to the douchebags of the Manosphere and the women who love them, farts and all.

In a brief post the other day titled She’s saving her farts for you, the Christian Red Pill blogger Dalrock let rip at a writer on a woman’s site for suggesting that “a man who lets you fart around him” is better marriage material than “a man who is grossed out by female functions.” Men in the latter category are ok only for a bang.

Dalrock sniffed:

Sure all of those other men banged her when she was younger and hotter, but you get something special.

Apparently hot, alpha-cock-carouseling women in their twenties never fart, saving all their flatulence for the betas they later rope into marriage after they hit the wall. Alpha fucks, beta … gets farted on.

In the comments, many of Dalrock’s readers agreed wholefartedly with his analysis.

“Anyone still doubt my assertions of Open Hypergamy now” asked Rollo Tomassi, the blogger at The Rational Male.

Earl let the farty ladies know that he was on to them:

The general thought process behind these comparisons is:

 Marry: A man already comfortable in his emasculation.

 Bang: A man who either isn’t or decided not to be emasculated.

 I hate how marriage has become basically a one way ticket to emasculation in this day and age.

TFH — also known as The Fifth Horseman, and considered one of the leading intellectual lights of the Men’s Rights movement – attempted to put the Fart Question in historical context:

‘Feminism’, far from helping women, has instead exposed the full extent of female shortcomings (moral, mental, intellectual, spiritual, economic, civic) far more visibly than could ever happen before ‘feminism’.

Traditional customs taught women that if they farted openly, their chances of receiving a provider would go down. This allowed society to package women into something that men thought was unrealistically noble. ‘Feminism’ has exposed the truth.

And a stinky truth it is. No wonder TFH is looking forward with such eagerness to virtual sex and the ultimate replacement of farty human ladies with virtual ones, as he predicted in his Misandry Bubble manifesto.

Casey instructed any women reading to

Ignore the advice of other women, particularly feminists.

Marry young, marry pretty, give your husband your youth; not your flatulence. 

The Brass Cat, meanwhile, recommended that men “of the gassy persuasion” use their farts as a way to show what totally dominant alpha dogs they are. This, he explained, was Fart Game.

Think of your fart as a primitive territorial marker; everything it touches is yours. When you feel the pressure building up, walk into the kitchen where your wife is (best be makin’ me a sammich!), deliver your payload, and walk away (to a safe distance) while laughing. And while you’re laughing she’ll discover what you just did. She’ll react like “Oh gross, I can’t believe you did that! That’s awful!” You should maintain the laughing and own it–no apology–and say something like “Oh man that was a good one!”

If you did it right she should walk over to you, say something like “You drive me crazy!” then kiss you.

Apparently Fart Game is an actual thing. Because, a few days after reading Dalrock’s thoughts on farting, I discovered a similar discussion in the Red Pill Women subreddit – an online hangout for mostly traditionalist women who want to snag themselves an alpha.

One aspiring Red Pill Woman posted a complaint – now removed by the mods – about her husband’s habit of farting in her presence, which she sees as disgusting and he apparently sees as hilarious.

Well, the farted-upon wife got an earful from the other gals there, who made very clear that it was her job as a Red Pill wife to learn to love her husband’s flatulence – and not be a “horrible, prissy bitch” about it, as one heavily upvoted comment put it.

Moggymojo noted that

I have never willingly farted in front of my partner (I leave the room), though occassionally one sneaks out (where upon I will apologise).

But her husband? He’s a farter, and she’s decided to roll with it. And she thinks that the fart complainer needs to do the same:

I don’t shame him or criticise him for farting …

You might prefer a different method but you have a partner who is being playful – if you respond to that angrily, in disgust etc then you will be rebuffing not only the farting but other light hearted playfulness, openess and ease which should be part of a LTR.

Fart shaming is misandry!

“A man who has a woman who laughs appreciatively at his farts is a happy man,” declared homo_homini_lupus, adding, in a followup comment directed at the fart complainer, that

the more a man is allowed to be a man in his home the happier he will be. If you don’t appreciate his humor you are communicating maternal lack of approval and signalling lack of love. It won’t kill you …

you , however, should not engage in fart and toilet humor, just laugh when he does.

So the Red Pill consensus is clear: Women, you should never fart. Nor should you ever criticize your husband’s farting, because that’s bitchy and emasculating and, well, just not ladylike.

To that I can only say

EdoFart4

EQUAL FARTS FOR ALL!

H/T — The Blue Pill

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kittehserf - MOD
kittehserf - MOD
6 years ago

Also, my man is using nap game on me as we speak.

Though of course, no mere human male uses Nap Game as well as the Furrinati.
comment image

http://previews.agefotostock.com/previewimage/bajaage/3fcd766356a71a3797e2bbfc59669520/alt-faa039000052.jpg

Odds are those two will use Fart Game and Breath Game, too. Teh doggie’s already doing Spit Game.

grumpycatisagirl
6 years ago

Is JB in a competition with herself to see if who gets more horrible or more nonsensical first?

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
6 years ago

She needs to be sued or go to jail this is really getting out of hand

kittehserf - MOD
kittehserf - MOD
6 years ago

JB is amazing. These people have the ethics of fleas.

Hey, David, stop dissing on fleas.

Brain bleach! Just saw this dog and cat photo page linked at Pharyngula. It’s hilarious.

http://cavemancircus.com/2014/10/03/dogs-vs-cats-20-photos/

Catalpa
Catalpa
6 years ago

One of my stepdad’s favorite jokes goes something like this:

The queen is attending a fancy party with many other important people, but halfway through the dinner ends up letting out the most enormous fart. She immediately turns to her butler who has been attending her and standing at her side and says “Jeeves, stop that immediately!”

To which he responds “Certainly, madam! …Which way did it go?”

This joke is clearly proof that women not only misander men whenever they fart, but they also constantly make false fart accusations as well. Clearly there is no end to their depravity.

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

Men are always having their entire lives ruined because of false fart accusations. It’s really quite a tragedy.

marinerachel
marinerachel
6 years ago

I got in a LOT of trouble yesterday for pointing out that famous rich white bros really don’t need to worry about false rape accusations because a) they’re infrequent and b) rape accusations, whether real or false, don’t go anywhere when they’re directed at famous rich white men because no one believes them. There are no personal or professional or legal consequences to rape accusations everyone perceives as lies.

And that apparently made me a racist misandrist against white men, LOLOLOLOLOLOL. One dude actually followed me around the forum and demanded apologies for my misandry in unrelated threads!

I’ve done enough misandering for the time being. I needn’t stick my head back in the guillotine by suggesting women farting be tolerated!

Can we all hold hands and sing the queef/equality song from South Park together:

Please?

tinyorc
6 years ago

lacerta viridis:

I have a cat who farts in disapproval at me if I try to move her from her preferred spot on the bed/couch/middle of the floor in everyone’s way/etc…

I have a cat who does this if I try to move her from my lap!

I’ve always found it funny that ALPHADOGS persistently identify themselves with, you know, dogs, when cats are the undisputed masters of Game on all levels. Cats constantly ignore and/or exude disdain for humans, and humans in turn shower them with service and physical affection, expecting nothing in return. This is the definition of alpha.

gilshalos
6 years ago

This whole discussion reminds me of the apocryphal tale about a prominent gentleman (whose name I have forgotten) recoiling in horror from his wife on their wedding night, because she had hair where Roman/Greek statues were smooth.

Sarah
Sarah
6 years ago

The female red pillers dialogue reminds me of some posts on the ‘love, joy, feminism’ blog, where Libby Anne analyzes the hugely misogynist fundamentalist christian literature that preaches female submission. In one, the husband offers to take the trash out (a household and therefore wife’s job, but sometimes these men are so magnanimously generous) and in a display of manly macho strength attempts to throw it to the bin from some distance, with such bad luck (or clumsiness) that the trash bag breaks and ends up spreading all the garbage on the floor. The wife, that could have gotten all “angry and bitchy” at the mess caused solely by his stupidity, in the spirit of “light hearted playfulness” goes and cleans it all herself. So long for dominance and “alpha” traits, all these guys want is a mommy who treats them like the babies they are.

This post is however hilarious.

marinerachel
marinerachel
6 years ago

I just had a great poop.

Aunt Edna
Aunt Edna
6 years ago

@gilshalos:

Pubic hair (on women) = misandry. That much is obvious.

=====

OT: I’ve gone to the beginning of WHTM / manboobz to read the earliest posts where David heroically battled MRA trolls alone (boy, did they come out of the woodwork…)

And I found this gem of an exchange between David and Paul Elam that should be an instant classic, IMO:

http://www.reddit.com/r/politics/comments/dfxw2/mens_rights_activist_suggests_taking_away_womens/

It is full of all kinds of awesome, including plenty of the usual stupid and pompous posturing by Elam, complete with his advice for David to, essentially, cease and desist, a conceited and supremely condescending lecture on blogging (seriously), and a “challenge” for David to present “real” ideas and arguments (you know, like MRA do 😉 ).

Elam was so full of hot air that he sounded ready to burst — which apparently happened when David did offer those longed-for arguments, because there was no more response from him. All that urgent interest in “ideas” and “debate” suddenly evaporated when he was faced with facts and figures.

MRA, such a waste of oxygen.

kittehserf - MOD
kittehserf - MOD
6 years ago

This whole discussion reminds me of the apocryphal tale about a prominent gentleman (whose name I have forgotten) recoiling in horror from his wife on their wedding night, because she had hair where Roman/Greek statues were smooth.

That was John Ruskin and Effie Gray. Eventually the marriage was annulled and she married John Everett Millais.

Hyena Girl
6 years ago

“The Earl of Oxford, making of his low obeisance to Queen Elizabeth happened to let a Fart, at which he was so abashed and ashamed that he went to travel, seven years. On his return the Queen welcomed him home and said, ‘My Lord, I had forgot the Fart'”
– [Aubrey’s “Brief Lives”]

kittehserf - MOD
kittehserf - MOD
6 years ago

Terribly important question: who is actually Nap Gaming whom here?

http://i.imgur.com/R4L4Ag8.png

marinerachel
marinerachel
6 years ago

Everyone wins in that image.

vaiyt
6 years ago

And they’ll agree with her that “even if she didn’t say it, it *sounds* like something she’d say”,

I remember Will Eisner pointing out that people make the same defence for The Protocols of The Elders of Zion…

schwadevivre
6 years ago

Traditional:
Where e’er thou be,
let thy wind blow free.

In church or chapel,
let it rattle!

Amnesia
Amnesia
6 years ago

Hanging out with my mom and sister today, and we were just talking about how all the food we were eating recently was making us fart so much.

Then we started singing, “Let It Go.” Let the misandry ring.

marinerachel
marinerachel
6 years ago

I am actually from a fart-shy family and am terribly fart-shy myself. I find farts hilarious, just not mine or my family’s. Anyone else and I laugh like an eight year old boy. I’ve been known to tell friends to go wipe their asses if their farts sound wet.

Lea
Lea
6 years ago

Brassy, sassy, gassy, lassies!

I can tell my kid’s farts apart. They think that’s hilarious. I think that means I have had to smell way too many farts.

Lea
Lea
6 years ago

*kids’*

Buttercup Q. Skullpants

Someone could write a whole dissertation on the immaturity double standard. Men can fart and belch and scratch freely, like toddlers, with no social consequences, but when a woman does it, it’s the most disgusting thing ever. Women are expected to transcend crudeness and maintain control over their biological processes. How does this fit in with the manosphere narrative that women are children and men are grownups?

Also, I love how they demand that women emit naught but tiny puffs of gossamer spun sugar, borne aloft into the firmament on the wings of seraphim, and then they turn around and complain how women are up on pedestals.

Bina
Bina
6 years ago

On another note, this reminds me of Melissa Gorga’s memoir, Love, Italian Style. In addition to hand waving things like her husband occasionally “taking her” after she said, “No,” because “it’s important for Joe that we connect physically,” she also reveals that, if she has to poop, she doesn’t use the house bathroom. She goes down the street to use Burger King’s. http://jezebel.com/real-housewife-melissa-gorgas-new-book-advocates-mar-1371722729

I remember that. Marital rape is “love”, but a woman pooping in her own home is MISANDRY! Because her lawfully wedded encumbrance might smell it and be too grossed out to rape her tonight. That argument has more loops than a Six Flags rollercoaster.

Bina
Bina
6 years ago

Also, I love how they demand that women emit naught but tiny puffs of gossamer spun sugar, borne aloft into the firmament on the wings of seraphim, and then they turn around and complain how women are up on pedestals.

I feel like writing a new fairytale for them. I think I’ll call it “The Princess and the Poo”.

Bina
Bina
6 years ago
proxieme
proxieme
6 years ago

My 2-year-old actually claims other people’s farts and burps.

“I did dat! I fahted!”

It’s good to know that the misandry is flowing through to the next generation.

marinerachel
6 years ago

I love Matt Inman so much.

marinerachel
6 years ago

Hi analysis of farts vs. sneezes made me chortle:

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/sneeze_vs_toot

Michelle C Young
6 years ago

My brother is an airplane mechanic, and he says that farting is part of the culture at his workplace. He is very proud of his extra-stinky farts, and bragged about how he cleared the cockpit, by letting a quiet one rip, then asking, “Do you smell popcorn?”

However, when he’s at home, he uses the bathroom for its intended purpose, which includes saving your family from nasal distress.

See? Even a manly man, fart-contest winner can be polite about it at home, without bottling it all up and being uncomfortable.

He still makes fart jokes at home, but nobody minds, because 1) they are generally funny, and 2) he doesn’t give a demonstration.

sparky
sparky
6 years ago

…And they’re writing about farts, and describing “fart game.”…

Dude, that’s not “game.” That’s normal human bodily function. Everybody does it. Literally, everybody. That’s not “alpha.” That’s being a human being with normal bodily functions.

My dog actually tries to blame his farts on me. Whenever he lets one rip, he jumps up, looks at his backside in dismay, then gives me this really dirty look, like “What did you do?”

BlueTuesday
BlueTuesday
6 years ago

Farts?

What? Are they like eight or something?

No wait, my 8-year is waaaay more mature.

grumpyoldnurse
grumpyoldnurse
6 years ago

LOL, sparky, at your dog trying to blame you!

Fnoicby
Fnoicby
6 years ago

If you did it right she should walk over to you, say something like “You drive me crazy!” then kiss you.

It’s things like this that make me think these men have had very little interactions with actual women in their lifetimes. What active imaginations they have.

Bina
Bina
6 years ago

“Matt, I want a divorce!” — said no farted-upon woman, ever.

baroncognito
6 years ago

A full three halves of the women I’ve farted on have immediately responded with “Matt, I want a divorce.”

And my name is Michael.

baroncognito
6 years ago

So, when my friends are driving around in a geo metro, roll all the windows up, and fart, are they fart gaming everyone in the car? Is that an attempt to get sex?

alaisvex
alaisvex
6 years ago

I don’t think that fart gaming is about getting sex. I think that it’s about establishing dominance through (what they hope will be) humiliation. Actually, that’s really what all Game is about, with sex coming as a by-product.

kittehserf - MOD
kittehserf - MOD
6 years ago

A full three halves of the women I’ve farted on have immediately responded with “Matt, I want a divorce.”

And my name is Michael.

LOL!

grumpyoldnurse
grumpyoldnurse
6 years ago

Misandry update, everyone! I am cooking curried lentils for dinner tonight! Mwhahahahahahahahahahahaha!

(surely this will get me back in the good graces of the Feminist High Council? ALL HAIL BOOTSY!)

kittehserf - MOD
kittehserf - MOD
6 years ago

Curried lentils?

RUN FOR YOUR LIVES

grumpyoldnurse
grumpyoldnurse
6 years ago

Oops. My nine year old son saw the picture of the guys farting. Maybe I better take lentils off the menu for the next decade or so…

alaisvex
alaisvex
6 years ago

Curried lentils?

GO OUT IN PUBLIC AROUND ALL THE ALPHAS!

genedaniell3
genedaniell3
6 years ago

Traditional:
Where e’er thou be,
let thy wind blow free.

In church or chapel,
let it rattle!

In my mother’s version it was the epitaph on a tombstone and the second couplet was:
For holding on to one
Was the death of me.

brooked
6 years ago

you, however, should not engage in fart and toilet humor, just laugh when he does.

I’m surprised a TeRPer lady felt the need to write this out, everyone know only men are allowed to make jokes and women should always laugh at all of them to maximize male ego massaging.

baroncognito
6 years ago

It’s not to massage the ego; the fear is that if you don’t laugh, he’s going to try to explain the joke.