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The Fart Gap: Why Red Pillers think that women should never fart — or fart-shame their flatulent men

Owner of a lonely fart
Owner of a lonely fart

Ladies, we need to talk. About farting.

It has recently come to my attention that women sometimes fart. And that some of you even do it in the presence of men – including the men whom you allegedly love.

This is a gigantic no-no, a sign of disrespect for your man’s manliness. Also, never criticize his farting, because that too is a sign of disrespect for his manliness.

At least according to the douchebags of the Manosphere and the women who love them, farts and all.

In a brief post the other day titled She’s saving her farts for you, the Christian Red Pill blogger Dalrock let rip at a writer on a woman’s site for suggesting that “a man who lets you fart around him” is better marriage material than “a man who is grossed out by female functions.” Men in the latter category are ok only for a bang.

Dalrock sniffed:

Sure all of those other men banged her when she was younger and hotter, but you get something special.

Apparently hot, alpha-cock-carouseling women in their twenties never fart, saving all their flatulence for the betas they later rope into marriage after they hit the wall. Alpha fucks, beta … gets farted on.

In the comments, many of Dalrock’s readers agreed wholefartedly with his analysis.

“Anyone still doubt my assertions of Open Hypergamy now” asked Rollo Tomassi, the blogger at The Rational Male.

Earl let the farty ladies know that he was on to them:

The general thought process behind these comparisons is:

 Marry: A man already comfortable in his emasculation.

 Bang: A man who either isn’t or decided not to be emasculated.

 I hate how marriage has become basically a one way ticket to emasculation in this day and age.

TFH — also known as The Fifth Horseman, and considered one of the leading intellectual lights of the Men’s Rights movement – attempted to put the Fart Question in historical context:

‘Feminism’, far from helping women, has instead exposed the full extent of female shortcomings (moral, mental, intellectual, spiritual, economic, civic) far more visibly than could ever happen before ‘feminism’.

Traditional customs taught women that if they farted openly, their chances of receiving a provider would go down. This allowed society to package women into something that men thought was unrealistically noble. ‘Feminism’ has exposed the truth.

And a stinky truth it is. No wonder TFH is looking forward with such eagerness to virtual sex and the ultimate replacement of farty human ladies with virtual ones, as he predicted in his Misandry Bubble manifesto.

Casey instructed any women reading to

Ignore the advice of other women, particularly feminists.

Marry young, marry pretty, give your husband your youth; not your flatulence. 

The Brass Cat, meanwhile, recommended that men “of the gassy persuasion” use their farts as a way to show what totally dominant alpha dogs they are. This, he explained, was Fart Game.

Think of your fart as a primitive territorial marker; everything it touches is yours. When you feel the pressure building up, walk into the kitchen where your wife is (best be makin’ me a sammich!), deliver your payload, and walk away (to a safe distance) while laughing. And while you’re laughing she’ll discover what you just did. She’ll react like “Oh gross, I can’t believe you did that! That’s awful!” You should maintain the laughing and own it–no apology–and say something like “Oh man that was a good one!”

If you did it right she should walk over to you, say something like “You drive me crazy!” then kiss you.

Apparently Fart Game is an actual thing. Because, a few days after reading Dalrock’s thoughts on farting, I discovered a similar discussion in the Red Pill Women subreddit – an online hangout for mostly traditionalist women who want to snag themselves an alpha.

One aspiring Red Pill Woman posted a complaint – now removed by the mods – about her husband’s habit of farting in her presence, which she sees as disgusting and he apparently sees as hilarious.

Well, the farted-upon wife got an earful from the other gals there, who made very clear that it was her job as a Red Pill wife to learn to love her husband’s flatulence – and not be a “horrible, prissy bitch” about it, as one heavily upvoted comment put it.

Moggymojo noted that

I have never willingly farted in front of my partner (I leave the room), though occassionally one sneaks out (where upon I will apologise).

But her husband? He’s a farter, and she’s decided to roll with it. And she thinks that the fart complainer needs to do the same:

I don’t shame him or criticise him for farting …

You might prefer a different method but you have a partner who is being playful – if you respond to that angrily, in disgust etc then you will be rebuffing not only the farting but other light hearted playfulness, openess and ease which should be part of a LTR.

Fart shaming is misandry!

“A man who has a woman who laughs appreciatively at his farts is a happy man,” declared homo_homini_lupus, adding, in a followup comment directed at the fart complainer, that

the more a man is allowed to be a man in his home the happier he will be. If you don’t appreciate his humor you are communicating maternal lack of approval and signalling lack of love. It won’t kill you …

you , however, should not engage in fart and toilet humor, just laugh when he does.

So the Red Pill consensus is clear: Women, you should never fart. Nor should you ever criticize your husband’s farting, because that’s bitchy and emasculating and, well, just not ladylike.

To that I can only say

EdoFart4

EQUAL FARTS FOR ALL!

H/T — The Blue Pill

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ryeash
6 years ago

@GodlessK

That comment was perfect.

skiriki
6 years ago

WOHOO! Finally! Finally this video becomes relevant!

Da Yoopers, “If She Farts on the First Date”.

Take it away, my long-distance relatives in a far-away land!

bbz
bbz
6 years ago

@contrapangloss
yeah, the dog waking herself up is pretty damn cute. But when she wakes *me* up, less so.

strivingally
6 years ago

“Fart game?” I have no words.

Anything is Game, apparently, as long as it demeans, inconveniences, offends or disadvantages women in some way, or allows a man to feel better about himself at a woman’s expense.

You can take this to absurd levels. Like, when I steal the doona off my partner in my sleep, that’s Doona Game!

If I forget to get something off the high shelves for her, that’s Height Game!

If I stink out the bathroom before she wants to use it, that’s Poop Game!

See, I’m trying to parody these guys, but when they take a concept like “fart game” even slightly seriously, I’m afraid it might not be possible.

booburry
6 years ago

I don’t LIKE to be farted on. It isn’t a fun pastime of mine. But I married a human, and sometimes humans have less than pleasant bodily functions.

Which is why I encourage people who get a period to jokingly use their partners hair as a sanitary napkin.They will probably blush and plant a wet one on you immediately , exclaiming “This is why I love you!”.
If they don’t enjoy that then they’re just bring prissy bitches and are probably doomed to be alone forever or some such.

Tigerbos
Tigerbos
6 years ago

I fart on your grave.

cloudiah
6 years ago

I have a feeling someone just farted in this cat’s general vicinity:
comment image

tinyorc
6 years ago

strivingally

Anything is Game, apparently, as long as it demeans, inconveniences, offends or disadvantages women in some way, or allows a man to feel better about himself at a woman’s expense.

My dude came over this afternoon and fell asleep in my bed pretty much immediately. I thought this was probably just because he was exhausted from a camping trip, but it was in fact Nap Game – ignoring a woman so hard that you lose consciousness, thereby establishing your place as a dominant alphadog who doesn’t give a fuck.

strivingally
6 years ago

That’s priceless, tinyorc. 😀

Going comatose to put a woman in her place is doubleplus Alpha! I trust that after being reminded of your complete lack of importance you woke your dude up with a fresh-made sammich and All The Sex.

Seriously, don’t these guys realise that a woman who’s comfortable enough around a guy to engage in her normal bodily functions is more likely to be comfortable enough to be an awesomely disinhibited sexual partner? Really, they’re just shooting themselves in the foot here.

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

Do these standards apply to cats too? If so there is some serious misandry going on in my home. Dracarys is the one who farts. Luckily it doesn’t happen too often but when it does she lets some pretty horrifying smells rip. Darrow on the other hand, has not to my knowledge farted once in the entire 7 1/2 years he’s been with me. Also, one time I farted so loudly it woke him up. Tee hee!

I love misandering. I ate a bratwurst earlier so I’m betting some misandry will be happening tonight.

blahlistic (@blahlistic)

Anything is Game, apparently, as long as it demeans, inconveniences, offends or disadvantages women in some way, or allows a man to feel better about himself at a woman’s expense.

Think you might be on to something there, striving.

They do view relationships as zero-sum games.
Abusive relationships are zero-sum games…sort of.
Actually, negative-sum games.
The abuser never grows up, which is why they seem like giant, bratty toddlers at times.

…Good relationships improve the lives of both/all participants.

steampunked (@steampunked)

All I can think of in this TMI situation is that these guys better never hope to have children. Because, trust me, after birth, nurses keep you there until you’ve passed quite a number of things and it’s unfortunately public. After a while, you’ll feel justifiably heroic for managing it too, depending on your number of stitches!

It is kind of astonishing how anything normal has to be invisible if women do it, and obvious if men do it. Grooming, health, everything. I don’t think these people really want women, though – they want perfect imaginary sex partners. Real ones really do gross them out. It’s as if they’re so massively invested in the idea of a dichotomy, or opposites, that any proof someone else is a human being is a turn off because it’s innately emasculating.

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

TMI alert:

I find it really amusing to walk up stairs when I have gas because a fart comes out with every step. Now that I know it’s misandry I’ll only love it more.

kittehserf - MOD
kittehserf - MOD
6 years ago

Traditional customs taught women that if they farted openly, their chances of receiving a provider would go down. This allowed society to package women into something that men thought was unrealistically noble. ‘Feminism’ has exposed the truth.

I’ve got news for this dude.

Paraphrased from a letter from Madame, the Duchess of Orleans (Louis XIV’s sister-in-law, ie. higher in rank than any woman except the Queen or the Dauphine) to, iirc, her aunt, the Electress of Hanover and mother of George I of Britain:

Monsieur was sitting in their apartment at Versailles with Madame and their son. He wasn’t bothering to talk to them (they weren’t grand enough company for him to bother, according to Madame) but suddenly he let rip a mighty fart.

“What was that, what was that, Madame?” he said, like he didn’t know.

“Monsieur, it was this,” she said, standing up, turning her back and letting rip one of her own.

“Begging your Highnesses’ pardons, I think I can do as well,” said their son, and did.

Upon which they all laughed themselves silly … and vacated the apartment.

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
6 years ago

Are these the same fart game doodz who end up in the ER cuz they thought it would be a fun game to set their farts on fire? I suspect they are.

blahlistic (@blahlistic)

any proof someone else is a human being is a turn off because it’s innately emasculating.

Masculinity is a very fragile thing!

We must never fart in the masculine presence, or cut our hair short, or wear practical shoes, or forsake tasteful makeup, or laugh heartily, or act assertively…
We must not eat too much, or eat too little, display our bodies proudly, or display them not at all…be free, or be too prudish. We must neither stand up for ourselves nor be a doormat, think for ourselves nor fail to think, and above all we must forsake our own opinions!

We must be careful to walk softly in our feminine high (but not TOO high) heels and our uncomfortable brassieres…smelling gently of soft perfumes to please the masculine nose…
Our hair long and glossy, our nails subtly manicured and our eyes submissively cast down…Demure and penitent we must be!

We must walk a narrow line! Our every action must be careful, careful I say! As if in the presence of a spun sugar sculpture, thin enough to collapse at the merest waft of a breeze!
We must be very diligent, we women!

Lest we accidentally commit the horror of damaging that pale and trembling hothouse orchid that is masculinity!

kittehserf - MOD
kittehserf - MOD
6 years ago

Seriously, don’t these guys realise that a woman who’s comfortable enough around a guy to engage in her normal bodily functions is more likely to be comfortable enough to be an awesomely disinhibited sexual partner? Really, they’re just shooting themselves in the foot here.

*cough* Well I fart pretty freely around Mr K. Not that I’m gonna try holding it in; I have IBS. Anyway farts appeal to his inner five-year-old, going by the way he giggles about them. That or it’s a family thing, given the Monsieur of the letter I paraphrased is his youngest. 🙂

Do these standards apply to cats too? If so there is some serious misandry going on in my home. Dracarys is the one who farts. Luckily it doesn’t happen too often but when it does she lets some pretty horrifying smells rip. Darrow on the other hand, has not to my knowledge farted once in the entire 7 1/2 years he’s been with me. Also, one time I farted so loudly it woke him up. Tee hee!

It must be! Fribs does the Stench of Death, preferably when she’s sitting on a lap, which means we get several doses of it every day. Mamie used to do the worst cat-farts I’ve ever known – without going into too much detail, if she let rip on your lap, you had to put those clothes in the wash. Though come to think of it, Magnus was an occasional farter too. It probably was Fart Game with that cross-grained ratbag. 🙂

…Good relationships improve the lives of both/all participants.

Word.

theladyzombie
6 years ago

I must say, this is the strangest, funniest, and most pathetic thing I’ve seen come out of the manosphere lately. I’m fully convinced these guys quit maturing mentally past the age of 7, when boys are convinced that girls have cooties and stuff.

I actually have issues with what I call flatulence-for-fun. I’ve always been grossed out by farts. Then I learned that odors are actually microscopic particles of the particular thing you’re smelling. Someone lets out a big stinky one in your presence? You’re quite literally smelling their shit. Particles of their poop gasses go up your nose and attach themselves to the olfactory receptors nestled in your nose’s mucus membrane.

Once I learned that, I got quite belligerent about people for fart for laughs. Accidents happen, I understand, but I broke it off with a guy who thought it was hilarious to fart. I asked him nicely not to do that. That night, he let one rip in bed and said “Woah! Did you see that barking spider?”

I told him to leave and that I wasn’t interested in seeing him again. He was shocked that I was that serious about it.

But anyway, yeah. Farts gross me out.

Thank you for listening.

kittehserf - MOD
kittehserf - MOD
6 years ago

Have we had a kitty video in this thread yet? Cole and Marmalade have a new one on CAT LOGIC. Which is more logicky than manosphere logic.

http://youtu.be/K3p0EFtJIn8

aebars
6 years ago

This needs the crackpottery tag, definitely.

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
6 years ago

blahlistic (@blahlistic)
That’s why men are more logical and rational! ..wait..

TheLadyzombie
::giggles:: thanks for the information! Ick!

Bina
Bina
6 years ago

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x7mweh_the-ice-storm-eating-molecules_shortfilms

Molecules.

(The look on the teacher’s face is priceless.)

theladyzombie
6 years ago

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x7mweh_the-ice-storm-eating-molecules_shortfilms

Molecules.

(The look on the teacher’s face is priceless.)

S’wot I’m sayin’.

Chevrolet
Chevrolet
6 years ago

When I was in middle school, I was standing by my locker with a bunch of girls, and this one guy who had just started “going with” one of my friends was there too. I don’t even know why, but we were talking about farting and joking around, and this boy said, totally seriously: “Wait. Girls fart??!” We laughed at him at the time, but it really stuck with me. I just had no idea until then that some boys thought we were so different from them we didn’t even have the same bodily functions, and it confused and bothered me for a long time. In a weird way, that’s what made me start thinking feminist thoughts even though I didn’t know that’s what they were yet.

(I’ve been reading this website for awhile, but it took a discussion of “fart game” to make me comment. I don’t know how I feel about that.)

andiexist
andiexist
6 years ago

I’ve never been one for toilet humor. It’s never seemed funny to me. It’s just bodily functions, people. But these guys need to get over it. Men don’t have a monopoly on bodies, and don’t get to say what women or other men or nonbinary people do with theirs.

There are loads and loads of sapient beings. Most have bodies. Most of those have bodily functions. Not all of those are men. I’m female. I fart. Deal with it.

Shaun Day
Shaun Day
6 years ago

So…is James Joyce a beta? *explicit sex with farting, you’ve been warned*

“At every fuck I gave you your shameless tongue come bursting out through your lips and if I gave you a bigger stronger fuck than usual fat dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside. You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I fucked them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to fuck a farting woman when every fuck drives one out of her. I think I would know Nora’s fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also.”

kittehserf - MOD
kittehserf - MOD
6 years ago

Chevrolet, hi, have a Welcome Package!

Shaun Day
Shaun Day
6 years ago

My 5 year old is performing her daily act of misandry at the top of her lungs. She is singing,

“If you’re stinky and you know it make a fart! *blows two fast raspberries*
If you’re stinky and you know it make a fart *blows two fast raspberries*
If you’re stinky and you know it
Then you better go and show it
If you’re stinky and you know it make a fart *blows two fast raspberries*”

Phoenician in a time of Romans
Phoenician in a time of Romans
6 years ago

J.J. : Farts farts farts. What’s next, a post about how gross periods are and how women should go into hiding while menstruating? If we ever get into a war with these guys the ladies can just eat some beans and walk among them while pelting them with used tampons, pads, and cups.

Hmmm – this sorta reminds me of the immortal quote

“For the love of God and all that is holy, MY ANUS IS BLEEDING!”

strivingally
6 years ago

The sad thing is that in many developing nations women are forced to go into hiding during their menstruation, or in some places, to trade sexual exploitation for sanitary products. 🙁

Here’s an amazing program aiming to change that by providing low-cost, re-usable & washable kits. Careful reading the website unless you’ve got a strong stomach – there are some explicit details about what desperate women will use as substitutes when sanitary products aren’t available, and the resulting medical complications. O.o

cloudiah
6 years ago

That’s a really cool program, strivingally.

cloudiah
6 years ago

It’s a day that ends with Y, and JudgyBitch is lying on Twitter again:

https://twitter.com/sugarcrashed/status/518570299428970496

cloudiah
6 years ago

Two ways you know JB is lying: (a) she’s saying something, and (b) “Anita’s tweet” is way over Twitter’s character count.

tesformes
6 years ago

Ever since getting married, farting has taken up like at least 5% of our marital humor. I’ve gotten really good at making short, very loud ones, and my wife makes the cutest high pitched toots I’ve ever heard, even if she is a tiny bit embarassed when it happens. These guys don’t know what they’re missing.

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
6 years ago

Cloudiah
Yellow perverts?

strivingally
6 years ago

JB already claiming “satire”, knowing damn well that picture will be circulated amongst hundreds of dudes with a hate-on for AS already and willing to believe the worst about her. And they’ll agree with her that “even if she didn’t say it, it *sounds* like something she’d say”, even though IT FUCKING DOESN’T.

contrapangloss
6 years ago

Twitter, please do re-ban JB.

Not a cool move, JB, at all.

strivingally
6 years ago

Apparently to Ms Bloomfield, “PR” means saying whatever awful shit you want about people you don’t like and then making half-assed attempts to walk it back just far enough to avoid litigation or having to own being a lying liar who lies, once the original idea is stuck in people’s heads.

For a member of an organisation constantly telling feminists to “own their shit”, Janet Bloomfield seems curiously reluctant to lay claim to hers, instead trying to cobble together something vaguely resembling plausible deniability.

wordsp1nner
wordsp1nner
6 years ago

JudgyBitch, here’s a hint: if your enemies really are that awful, you don’t have to make up horrible quotes from them. You can find real horrible quotes.

You know, like David Futrelle does.

alaisvex
alaisvex
6 years ago

Dammit, Janet, can you not even fake tweets convincingly? #worstsocialmediadirectorever

Also, I’m no fan of farts, but sometimes they just happen and the likelihood that they’ll happen in front of your partner increases as you spend more time together, which is why the advice from RPW would be great if the writer hadn’t exiled women from the human category.

On another note, this reminds me of Melissa Gorga’s memoir, Love, Italian Style. In addition to hand waving things like her husband occasionally “taking her” after she said, “No,” because “it’s important for Joe that we connect physically,” she also reveals that, if she has to poop, she doesn’t use the house bathroom. She goes down the street to use Burger King’s. http://jezebel.com/real-housewife-melissa-gorgas-new-book-advocates-mar-1371722729

cloudiah
6 years ago

Yeah, apparently if you make up a tweet from someone about anime, that proves they are racist against Asians.

alaisvex
alaisvex
6 years ago

Also, my man is using nap game on me as we speak. (Okay, really, he’s just cuddling up to me and snoozing because he had a long day at work today and yesterday, and it’s really cute.) Unfortunately, we hunted the mammoth is preventing me from appreciating his Alphaphaness. I guess that it’s true that feminism ruins everything.

strivingally
6 years ago

@cloudiah:

Also love the use of “losers and perverts”, which is completely uncharacteristic of Sarkeesian … BUT is very much a perception that anime fans get very defensive about. It’s a blatant attempt to use a geek interest as a lever to push her minions into attacking Sarkeesian again/harder. She’s trying to piggyback off the success of reactionaries manipulating gamers into attacking SJWs, except she lacks the strategy and guile.

strivingally
6 years ago

If anything, that manufactured Tweet reflects how little Bloomfield thinks of her followers – she’s treating them as useful idiots that she can whip into a frenzy with a few projected insults that she knows they’ll buy into uncritically. I wonder what JB thinks of anime fans?

alaisvex
alaisvex
6 years ago

“Yellow perverts” might be an accurate description of her real opinions.

Furthermore, if she has to make up tweets or take quotes massively out if context because her opponents don’t actually provide her with enough legitimate material, isn’t she admitting that she’s wrong? If the facts aren’t evidence enough and you have to start inventing stuff, then you’re pretty much saying, “I’m wrong, and I have to lie if I’m going to get anyone to believe me.”

lacerta viridis
6 years ago

I have a cat who farts in disapproval at me if I try to move her from her preferred spot on the bed/couch/middle of the floor in everyone’s way/etc… If only I could train her to fart on MRAs instead. She could emasculate the hell out of them with her shockingly unfeminine ways.

wordsp1nner
wordsp1nner
6 years ago

There was a post on r/RedPillWomen (linked by r/thebluepill) about keeping an air of mystery around your body where a woman said she tried not to pee or poop while her husband was awake… and she was surprised how weirded out feminists were when she told her. I can’t find it, though, so if anyone knows what I’m talking about, please post it.

Because, you know, I understand wanting to close the door… but sometimes you have to go, you know?

Also, that will fuck up your kidneys.

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
6 years ago

David have you been getting my emails? Sorry I’v been sending quite a few. If you need time to look at them let me know I’ll stop sending stuff.

bodycrimes
6 years ago

This post cracked me up.