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The Fart Gap: Why Red Pillers think that women should never fart — or fart-shame their flatulent men

Owner of a lonely fart
Owner of a lonely fart

Ladies, we need to talk. About farting.

It has recently come to my attention that women sometimes fart. And that some of you even do it in the presence of men – including the men whom you allegedly love.

This is a gigantic no-no, a sign of disrespect for your man’s manliness. Also, never criticize his farting, because that too is a sign of disrespect for his manliness.

At least according to the douchebags of the Manosphere and the women who love them, farts and all.

In a brief post the other day titled She’s saving her farts for you, the Christian Red Pill blogger Dalrock let rip at a writer on a woman’s site for suggesting that “a man who lets you fart around him” is better marriage material than “a man who is grossed out by female functions.” Men in the latter category are ok only for a bang.

Dalrock sniffed:

Sure all of those other men banged her when she was younger and hotter, but you get something special.

Apparently hot, alpha-cock-carouseling women in their twenties never fart, saving all their flatulence for the betas they later rope into marriage after they hit the wall. Alpha fucks, beta … gets farted on.

In the comments, many of Dalrock’s readers agreed wholefartedly with his analysis.

“Anyone still doubt my assertions of Open Hypergamy now” asked Rollo Tomassi, the blogger at The Rational Male.

Earl let the farty ladies know that he was on to them:

The general thought process behind these comparisons is:

 Marry: A man already comfortable in his emasculation.

 Bang: A man who either isn’t or decided not to be emasculated.

 I hate how marriage has become basically a one way ticket to emasculation in this day and age.

TFH — also known as The Fifth Horseman, and considered one of the leading intellectual lights of the Men’s Rights movement – attempted to put the Fart Question in historical context:

‘Feminism’, far from helping women, has instead exposed the full extent of female shortcomings (moral, mental, intellectual, spiritual, economic, civic) far more visibly than could ever happen before ‘feminism’.

Traditional customs taught women that if they farted openly, their chances of receiving a provider would go down. This allowed society to package women into something that men thought was unrealistically noble. ‘Feminism’ has exposed the truth.

And a stinky truth it is. No wonder TFH is looking forward with such eagerness to virtual sex and the ultimate replacement of farty human ladies with virtual ones, as he predicted in his Misandry Bubble manifesto.

Casey instructed any women reading to

Ignore the advice of other women, particularly feminists.

Marry young, marry pretty, give your husband your youth; not your flatulence. 

The Brass Cat, meanwhile, recommended that men “of the gassy persuasion” use their farts as a way to show what totally dominant alpha dogs they are. This, he explained, was Fart Game.

Think of your fart as a primitive territorial marker; everything it touches is yours. When you feel the pressure building up, walk into the kitchen where your wife is (best be makin’ me a sammich!), deliver your payload, and walk away (to a safe distance) while laughing. And while you’re laughing she’ll discover what you just did. She’ll react like “Oh gross, I can’t believe you did that! That’s awful!” You should maintain the laughing and own it–no apology–and say something like “Oh man that was a good one!”

If you did it right she should walk over to you, say something like “You drive me crazy!” then kiss you.

Apparently Fart Game is an actual thing. Because, a few days after reading Dalrock’s thoughts on farting, I discovered a similar discussion in the Red Pill Women subreddit – an online hangout for mostly traditionalist women who want to snag themselves an alpha.

One aspiring Red Pill Woman posted a complaint – now removed by the mods – about her husband’s habit of farting in her presence, which she sees as disgusting and he apparently sees as hilarious.

Well, the farted-upon wife got an earful from the other gals there, who made very clear that it was her job as a Red Pill wife to learn to love her husband’s flatulence – and not be a “horrible, prissy bitch” about it, as one heavily upvoted comment put it.

Moggymojo noted that

I have never willingly farted in front of my partner (I leave the room), though occassionally one sneaks out (where upon I will apologise).

But her husband? He’s a farter, and she’s decided to roll with it. And she thinks that the fart complainer needs to do the same:

I don’t shame him or criticise him for farting …

You might prefer a different method but you have a partner who is being playful – if you respond to that angrily, in disgust etc then you will be rebuffing not only the farting but other light hearted playfulness, openess and ease which should be part of a LTR.

Fart shaming is misandry!

“A man who has a woman who laughs appreciatively at his farts is a happy man,” declared homo_homini_lupus, adding, in a followup comment directed at the fart complainer, that

the more a man is allowed to be a man in his home the happier he will be. If you don’t appreciate his humor you are communicating maternal lack of approval and signalling lack of love. It won’t kill you …

you , however, should not engage in fart and toilet humor, just laugh when he does.

So the Red Pill consensus is clear: Women, you should never fart. Nor should you ever criticize your husband’s farting, because that’s bitchy and emasculating and, well, just not ladylike.

To that I can only say

EdoFart4

EQUAL FARTS FOR ALL!

H/T — The Blue Pill

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Binjabreel
6 years ago

They literally are horrified at the thought that women might be human. Holy shit, they have symbiotic colonies of bacteria that produce methane and hydrogen sulphide!! Oh noes!

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
6 years ago

They can’t stand women doing ANYTHING! EVERYTHING is MISANDRY!
http://giphy.com/gifs/YAtLFXfe3xIDS

Aunt Edna
Aunt Edna
6 years ago

Good job, David. That was one of the more absurd posts over at Dalrock’s — and that’s saying something, given the race to the absurd misogynist bottom that his blog represents.

But, oh yeah, I can totally see how the Fart Game plays out in relationships. Flatulence is just a gift that keeps on giving, everything from hypergamy through alpha male dominance displays (cuz nothing sez alpha like ripping a loud and juicy one right next to your laydee whose job is to be properly impressed by it) to instilling submissive behavior in women.

That Rollo idiot agrees, obviously, as they all do, so it must be true.

Aunt Edna
Aunt Edna
6 years ago

@ Binjabreel:

“They literally are horrified at the thought that women might be human.”

Yep. Unacceptable.

Ellesar
6 years ago

Where do you find this stuff David – just when I think it cannot get anymore bizarre along comes another one!

As I have just said to my kids: feminism was never about farting – it is about slightly more important issues, but this debate really has brought home that farting may indeed be a feminist issue as women ‘should’ never fart in the presence of a male, but should also learn to love their mans flatulence!

Sadly I do have a man in my past who may not have specified farting rules, but had a tedious list of feminine behaviours that I was expected to adhere to. Thankfully I have not seen him for nearly 30 years.

HJ
HJ
6 years ago

Got to love the solidarity of these antifems. Can’t even complain about a man farting without getting called out.

saphy
saphy
6 years ago

Oh my god David where do you find these amazing images??

Bina
Bina
6 years ago

I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome. It tends to act up when I’m stressed out. And when it acts up, I’m lucky if gas is all I get. If not, I get the trots.

Stupid guys like these really stress me the fuck out. I can hear my lower intestine gurgling already.

I guess what I’m really trying to say to them is this:

(And if that were me up there on the parapet, they’d be scurrying in terror the moment I hung my bare butt over the edge.)

Bina
Bina
6 years ago

Also, in case this subject should ever come up again, here are some useful kitties:

http://pictures.mastermarf.com/blog/2010/100529-farts.jpg

https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/279767808/hC56F3577/

girlsmarts
6 years ago

The funny thing is that the most upvoted comment on the discussion, which David quoted, says,
“You don’t act like a horrible, prissy bitch when your husband farts, that’s how you handle it. Are you expecting a lesson in how to get him to feel ashamed of his bodily functions? I don’t really think fart jokes are very funny in general either. I don’t LIKE to be farted on. It isn’t a fun pastime of mine. But I married a human, and sometimes humans have less than pleasant bodily functions. Sometimes your husband will annoy you and do things you think aren’t funny. The only options are to deal with it or decide that revealing he is indeed not a robot is a deal breaker and find a new husband.”

Funny… “I married a human, and sometimes humans have less than pleasant bodily functions”, seems to be exactly what someone should be telling Dalrock and his cronies. And it seems reasonable to me to see a distinction between normal bodily functions and not hiding them, and purposefully “crop dusting” your wife as a form of “submission training.”

Tom J. Nelson
6 years ago

I think wondering if these assholes are 12 years old gives them several years too much credit.

Bina
Bina
6 years ago

Also, lady farts aren’t all bad:

“You’re IN!”

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
6 years ago

So let’s break it down: women must accept that men have bodily functions, but must conceal their own bodily functions and pretend they don’t happen.

Yeah, sounds like redpillers actually want sexbots.

Tigerbos
Tigerbos
6 years ago

Yes because bodily functions are only ok if a man does them…YOU DAMN FART SHAMMERS! You’ve emasculated me by making me feel like I can’t fart whenever I want to but you women aren’t allowed to fart because you’re not human. Any being with a vagina isn’t human so farting is NOT NECESSARY.

Tom J. Nelson
6 years ago

Hey P.O.M. can you imagine the shit fit they’ll have when the first sex-bot for a woman gets announced?

Bina
Bina
6 years ago

I can only imagine the look of horror on their faces when they first learned that girls actually POOP, too.

ToolBox
ToolBox
6 years ago

This reminds me that I met a guy a a bar one night who thought women ‘queefed’ instead of farting.

girlsmarts
6 years ago

@Bina when I was a freshman in college I dated someone who was in a Facebook group named “Girls Don’t Poop (Angels Take it Away).” There were like 30 members and he was one. He must have really done some searching to find that one. Yeah, that doesnt make you self conscious at all when you have to excuse yourself to go to the bathroom on a date.

Needless to say, we didnt work out.

SnooperScooper
SnooperScooper
6 years ago

“Think of your fart as a primitive territorial marker; everything it touches is yours. When you feel the pressure building up, walk into the kitchen where your wife is (best be makin’ me a sammich!), deliver your payload, and walk away (to a safe distance) while laughing. And while you’re laughing she’ll discover what you just did. She’ll react like “Oh gross, I can’t believe you did that! That’s awful!” You should maintain the laughing and own it–no apology–and say something like “Oh man that was a good one!”

If you did it right she should walk over to you, say something like “You drive me crazy!” then kiss you.”

Being a bit new to this site, I figured this was satire. Some serious Poe’s Law going on here.

Bina
Bina
6 years ago

Oh my gawd…there’s not one, but TWO tooty versions of this parody:

And yes, I can guarantee you that Britney farts for realz, too.

NonServiam
6 years ago

So they actually sit around worrying about women farting?

blahlistic (@blahlistic)

Well, no WONDER alpha guys and I would never get along.
I’d fartbomb them right back.

However, between the vegan, bean-intensive diet and the N-acetyl-cystiene I take to help my asthma?
My farts are both bountiful and probably Illegal under the Geneva convention.
I mean, like, you know how dogfarts are bad?
I have had my girlfriend’s giant spheroid rottweiler mix give me looks, like “I can’t believe there’s not something dead up your butt.”

(BTW, if you have asthma with a lot of congestion, you might look into N-acetyl-cystiene, it’s a natural mucus thinning agent and good for your liver as well.)

Bina
Bina
6 years ago

@Bina when I was a freshman in college I dated someone who was in a Facebook group named “Girls Don’t Poop (Angels Take it Away).” There were like 30 members and he was one. He must have really done some searching to find that one. Yeah, that doesnt make you self conscious at all when you have to excuse yourself to go to the bathroom on a date.

Needless to say, we didnt work out.

LOL, I bet not.

I feel like crashing that group with some reading material:

http://dynamic.indigoimages.ca/books/192913214x.jpg?altimages=true&width=310&quality=85&maxheight=310&sale=5&lang=en&z=118685197-311314130

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/7/74/Gas_we_pass.jpg/220px-Gas_we_pass.jpg

True fact: After major surgery, passing gas is considered a good sign that a person’s vital functions are in order. And yes, nurses WILL ask you about it.

blahlistic (@blahlistic)

This reminds me that I met a guy a a bar one night who thought women ‘queefed’ instead of farting.

Nope, a queef is an entirely different category of embarrassing body noise.

blahlistic (@blahlistic)

I think wondering if these assholes are 12 years old gives them several years too much credit.

My 5-year old alter would like me to announce to everyone here that he is far cooler and waaaay more badass than the redpill dudes.

O.o….* o.o *…. 🙂 ….

girlsmarts
6 years ago

You know, I’m a pretty private person when it comes to my bodily functions, even around my friends. I’ll pee in front of my them but not in front of a dude I’m dating, and I hate even talking about poop. I’m really good about not farting in front of anyone. After reading this, I’m reconsidering the whole thing. Maybe I should just start letting em rip in front of guys I’m interested in- it would seem to cull out a large section of immature jerks.

ej
ej
6 years ago

@NonServiam

So they actually sit around worrying about women farting?

No, they sit around worrying about the fact that they hold women to a different standard and that some day (aka, now) women might catch on to that and try to hold men to that same standard.

blahlistic (@blahlistic)

http://thesmokinggun.com/documents/sex-with-atm-machine-456932
That guy got thrown out of the bar and proceeded to have sex with a wooden picnic table located outside.

…Wow…in Murfreesboro, they sure do get hard up…

ceebarks
ceebarks
6 years ago

Sport-farters should get with each other and leave the rest of us out of it!

Personally I think that the famous difficulty of keeping a bit of romance alive in an LTR means that taking intestinal noises to the bathroom an unalloyed good…

but clearly, other people have other ideas. :O

I’m struck by the shocking lack of sporting spirit in the manospherean sport-farters, though. It’s only fun and funny if you’re running unopposed? What kind of idiotic game is that? Oh, right, the one where where the sole objective is the degradation of someone you purport to love.

J.J
J.J
6 years ago

…wow, this is so stupid. I mean, this is like second grade level of funny stupid.

Okay, so women should just pretend they don’t fart ever. I guess these guys are never having anal sex then!

And WTF is with this fart marking thing? You know who walks into a room, farts, and walks out again without an apology? My dog after eating broccoli. I don’t yell at him because he’s a DOG. Even though his farts are rank and I can’t figure out what he’s eaten to make them smell like that.

If my boyfriend walked into a room and farted and then expected me to show him affection I would assume he was actually a pod person. If I fart, it’s pretty much a non event.

Farts farts farts. What’s next, a post about how gross periods are and how women should go into hiding while menstruating? If we ever get into a war with these guys the ladies can just eat some beans and walk among them while pelting them with used tampons, pads, and cups.

Bina
Bina
6 years ago

You know, I’m a pretty private person when it comes to my bodily functions, even around my friends. I’ll pee in front of my them but not in front of a dude I’m dating, and I hate even talking about poop. I’m really good about not farting in front of anyone. After reading this, I’m reconsidering the whole thing. Maybe I should just start letting em rip in front of guys I’m interested in- it would seem to cull out a large section of immature jerks.

Well, I believe it was Ben Franklin who said it (and I’m sure he would know): “Fart proudly.”

ceebarks
ceebarks
6 years ago

@blahlistic !!! Thanks, I needed a laugh. What a sexy beast! ewwww

GodlessK
GodlessK
6 years ago

They reached the rock bottom of absurdity… and promptly traded their shovels for picks.

Phoenician in a time of Romans
Phoenician in a time of Romans
6 years ago

After a year of marriage, I suspect how a couple farts together is a subject that really should have been addressed in school, song and literature. You don’t get sex everytime you share a bed, but sure as hell there will be competitive pooting going on.

Also, who goes first into the bathroom every morning is a subject fraught with unexpected traps, especially if cruciferous vegetables were consumed the night before…

Bina
Bina
6 years ago

Also, these guys should be thankful that we’re not like hippos:

This is why there’s all that open space between hippos and the public in zoos.

(This is also why I don’t do raw vegan diets.)

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

I’m more of a Belcher than a farter. Are burps misandry? Are queefs misandry? Or is it just farts?

Leisha Young
Leisha Young
6 years ago

My husband and I play the fart game all the time with varying degrees of hilarity. They have no idea how much the fart game can really cement a relationship. You know you’ve found someone special when you no longer care about their natural bodily functions and in fact laugh like hell about them.

What can be more healthy for a relationship that laughing hysterically together??

Guess I’m just a filthy feminist though…

BTW, I agree with an earlier poster, does this mentality not confirm that these men don’t see women as human, but as props for their pleasure?

Phoenician in a time of Romans
Phoenician in a time of Romans
6 years ago

blahtastic: That guy got thrown out of the bar and proceeded to have sex with a wooden picnic table located outside.

To be fair, I bet the picnic table was wearing a really short skirt and just asking for it…

Kane Thari
6 years ago

This double standard stinks. Sorry, I couldn’t resist. The flogging for that terrible pun will be at noon. Seriously though, what the heck? You’d think they’d have better use of their time than complaining that women are, in fact human beings with bodily functions.

grumpyoldnurse
6 years ago

True fact: After major surgery, passing gas is considered a good sign that a person’s vital functions are in order. And yes, nurses WILL ask you about it.

Yes, we will ask you about it. Obsessively. We will also listen to your tummy to see if it’s rumbly.

Perhaps I should rethink some of my life choices.

Bina
Bina
6 years ago

I’m more of a Belcher than a farter. Are burps misandry? Are queefs misandry? Or is it just farts?

It’s all misandry! Burps because it means you eat; farts because it means you poop; and queefs because it means your vagina isn’t made of rigid Barbie plastic. Misandry. MISANDRY, I tellz ya.

contrapangloss
6 years ago

Belly rumbling is good to near in horses, too!

That said, there was this horse I knew who had a fart powered lope. Every stride, just a teeny-fart. At least horse farts actually smell almost nice…

Pups, not so much. One of our dogs had a fart so powerful that the stench would wake him up if he farted while napping. He’d wakeup, look around all confused, and walk off to find a less stinky napping place.

Most precious (but horrid smelling) thing ever.

contrapangloss
6 years ago

*hear. That’s it! Only posting from computers, from now on…

tinyorc
6 years ago

I can’t believe feminists want to deny me a bright future of being farted on by hot alphas while permanently holding my own digestive system in rigid stasis. It’s like they don’t even care about women.

Bina
Bina
6 years ago

I think I’ll just leave this here.

strivingally
6 years ago

Funny… “I married a human, and sometimes humans have less than pleasant bodily functions”, seems to be exactly what someone should be telling Dalrock and his cronies. And it seems reasonable to me to see a distinction between normal bodily functions and not hiding them, and purposefully “crop dusting” your wife as a form of “submission training.”

Perfectly consistent through the looking glass in Redpill Land, where “human” and “woman” are two distinct groups. Humans (i.e. Manly Men) are allowed to have bodily functions acknowledged, treated as normal and even laughed about. Non-humans (i.e. everybody else) has to laugh about the bodily functions of the Humans and pretend they have none of their own.

Those are The Rules. The scary thing for me is the Redpill ladies who are swallowing this garbage, AND trying to apply social pressure to other ladies who aren’t conforming.

katz
6 years ago

“Fart game?” I have no words.

cloudiah
6 years ago

Two of the best pictures you’ve ever found, David!

True fact: After major surgery, passing gas is considered a good sign that a person’s vital functions are in order. And yes, nurses WILL ask you about it.

I have had the privilege of picking 4 different people up after they’d had colonoscopies. The facility always let me in to wait in the recovery room until my friend and/or parent was released, and all I remember was a large number of small, cubicles surrounded by drapery, and filled with the sounds of people either farting or being asked by medical professionals whether they had farted.

This has been “Scenes from Cloudiah’s Exciting and Glamorous Life.”

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