Ladies, we need to talk. About farting.
It has recently come to my attention that women sometimes fart. And that some of you even do it in the presence of men – including the men whom you allegedly love.
This is a gigantic no-no, a sign of disrespect for your man’s manliness. Also, never criticize his farting, because that too is a sign of disrespect for his manliness.
At least according to the douchebags of the Manosphere and the women who love them, farts and all.
In a brief post the other day titled She’s saving her farts for you, the Christian Red Pill blogger Dalrock let rip at a writer on a woman’s site for suggesting that “a man who lets you fart around him” is better marriage material than “a man who is grossed out by female functions.” Men in the latter category are ok only for a bang.
Sure all of those other men banged her when she was younger and hotter, but you get something special.
Apparently hot, alpha-cock-carouseling women in their twenties never fart, saving all their flatulence for the betas they later rope into marriage after they hit the wall. Alpha fucks, beta … gets farted on.
In the comments, many of Dalrock’s readers agreed wholefartedly with his analysis.
“Anyone still doubt my assertions of Open Hypergamy now” asked Rollo Tomassi, the blogger at The Rational Male.
Earl let the farty ladies know that he was on to them:
The general thought process behind these comparisons is:
Marry: A man already comfortable in his emasculation.
Bang: A man who either isn’t or decided not to be emasculated.
I hate how marriage has become basically a one way ticket to emasculation in this day and age.
TFH — also known as The Fifth Horseman, and considered one of the leading intellectual lights of the Men’s Rights movement – attempted to put the Fart Question in historical context:
‘Feminism’, far from helping women, has instead exposed the full extent of female shortcomings (moral, mental, intellectual, spiritual, economic, civic) far more visibly than could ever happen before ‘feminism’.
Traditional customs taught women that if they farted openly, their chances of receiving a provider would go down. This allowed society to package women into something that men thought was unrealistically noble. ‘Feminism’ has exposed the truth.
And a stinky truth it is. No wonder TFH is looking forward with such eagerness to virtual sex and the ultimate replacement of farty human ladies with virtual ones, as he predicted in his Misandry Bubble manifesto.
Casey instructed any women reading to
Ignore the advice of other women, particularly feminists.
Marry young, marry pretty, give your husband your youth; not your flatulence.
The Brass Cat, meanwhile, recommended that men “of the gassy persuasion” use their farts as a way to show what totally dominant alpha dogs they are. This, he explained, was Fart Game.
Think of your fart as a primitive territorial marker; everything it touches is yours. When you feel the pressure building up, walk into the kitchen where your wife is (best be makin’ me a sammich!), deliver your payload, and walk away (to a safe distance) while laughing. And while you’re laughing she’ll discover what you just did. She’ll react like “Oh gross, I can’t believe you did that! That’s awful!” You should maintain the laughing and own it–no apology–and say something like “Oh man that was a good one!”
If you did it right she should walk over to you, say something like “You drive me crazy!” then kiss you.
Apparently Fart Game is an actual thing. Because, a few days after reading Dalrock’s thoughts on farting, I discovered a similar discussion in the Red Pill Women subreddit – an online hangout for mostly traditionalist women who want to snag themselves an alpha.
One aspiring Red Pill Woman posted a complaint – now removed by the mods – about her husband’s habit of farting in her presence, which she sees as disgusting and he apparently sees as hilarious.
Well, the farted-upon wife got an earful from the other gals there, who made very clear that it was her job as a Red Pill wife to learn to love her husband’s flatulence – and not be a “horrible, prissy bitch” about it, as one heavily upvoted comment put it.
Moggymojo noted that
I have never willingly farted in front of my partner (I leave the room), though occassionally one sneaks out (where upon I will apologise).
But her husband? He’s a farter, and she’s decided to roll with it. And she thinks that the fart complainer needs to do the same:
I don’t shame him or criticise him for farting …
You might prefer a different method but you have a partner who is being playful – if you respond to that angrily, in disgust etc then you will be rebuffing not only the farting but other light hearted playfulness, openess and ease which should be part of a LTR.
Fart shaming is misandry!
“A man who has a woman who laughs appreciatively at his farts is a happy man,” declared homo_homini_lupus, adding, in a followup comment directed at the fart complainer, that
the more a man is allowed to be a man in his home the happier he will be. If you don’t appreciate his humor you are communicating maternal lack of approval and signalling lack of love. It won’t kill you …
you , however, should not engage in fart and toilet humor, just laugh when he does.
So the Red Pill consensus is clear: Women, you should never fart. Nor should you ever criticize your husband’s farting, because that’s bitchy and emasculating and, well, just not ladylike.
To that I can only say
EQUAL FARTS FOR ALL!
H/T — The Blue Pill