Men’s Rights Activists love to chastise feminists for allegedly dealing mostly with “first world problems,” trivial annoyances that pale in comparison to the REAL issues faced by women (and men) in the rest of the world. So it’s a good thing that MRAs only get themselves worked up about life and death issues.
Like COOKIE MISANDRY.
Let’s let Men’s Rights Redditor kizzan explain this insidious danger to modern man:
As Martin Luther King might have said, “A cookie delayed is a cookie denied.”
Well, he might not have put it that way exactly. But having to wait literally seconds for a cookie is pretty much the definition of justice denied.
In any case, as the 80 upvotes and 60 comments to his post suggest, Kizzan is not the only one outraged by this blatant oppression of men.
![p3ngwin 20 points 1 day ago chivalry when they like it, sexism when they don't. and yes, it's often called "benevolent sexism" by assholes, as if that justifies it. permalink save give gold [–]Revoran 8 points 1 day ago "Women and children first" as the men stay behind on the boat to drown. "Benevolent" sexism... not so benevolent if you're a man who gets the short stick.](https://i0.wp.com/www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/titanic.png?resize=508%2C202&ssl=1)
Clearly waiting a few seconds for a cookie is equivalent to giving up a seat in a lifeboat on the Titanic so that some dumb lady can live.
ParanoidAgnostic blamed feminism and its “ladies first” agenda.
Exactly. Who can forget Mary Woolstonecraft’s 1792 manifesto “A Vindication of the Rights of Woman to Cookies Right Now Give Me the Goddamn Cookie You Filthy Man?”
Our old friend GenderNeutralLanguag [sic] suggested that these insidious misandrists be confronted for their terrible hypocrisy:
Mr. GenderNeutralLanguag [sic] must be fun at parties.
Khal534, meanwhile, reported on some important human rights activism he did on this very issue and that totally happened just like this uh huh:
Not everyone agreed that cookie misandry was the most important issue of all time.
Happily this cookie misandry denier was rightly chastised with downvotes for his manginaism.
Below, see a famous chick singer demanding that men and boys wait for cookies. At least that’s what I assume she’s singing about, from the song title. I really have no idea what the hell she’s saying.
NOTE: In case any MRAs think that I agree in any way with this clearly misandrist cookies-for-ladies-a-few-seconds-before-cookies-for-men agenda, let me just say that I firmly believe that cookies should be given to me first. And if there are any left the ladies can fight for them. Seems fair to me. In any case, that’s my Cookie Policy, and by accessing this website you have agreed to it.
H/T — r/againstmensrights
This has been your hilarious math lesson for the day.
Kirbywarp got in before me with the butter:tiger:weed conversion.
That sounds like a rock, paper, scissors variant, doesn’t it?
RE: katz
Rogan: Obviously butter beats tiger, because Sambo, and weed beats butter because munchies. How tiger beats weed, I don’t know.
Tiger beats weed because awesomeness.
Whoa! This one brought back a whole RAFT of unpleasant memories!
When I was a kid, men ALWAYS were served first. When I was ten, I had to start doing all the cooking and cleaning and child-rearing (younger sibs) in my home. And, after coming home from school, doing my homework and cleaning the house, I had to cook dinner for psycho-mom and her man-of-the-month. I was not allowed to eat my dinner until after HE had started eating, and I could not even sit down at the table until HE gave permission.
AARRGGHH!!! I hated them then and I still do not like them very much!
Sorry. sigh.
RE: sparky
Quoth the Sneak: “Eeee! Tiger making snowman! :D”
Kirbywarp: Butter is apparently at an all-time high at the moment. In the US, the average price appears to be around $2.55 a pound, whereas in New Zealand, the prices is only around $1.35.
I am now available for smuggling duties.
I will accept only hard currency in exchange, or whole units of Scarlett Johansson.
Life of the lifeboat, no doubt about it.
Meanwhile, it’s worth noting that even on board the Titanic, that exemplary example of bygone chivalry, plenty of (second- and third-class) women and children drowned, while plenty of (first-class, what did you expect) men were saved. Including the captain, who didn’t go down with the ship, as tradition allegedly demands. And most of the (inadequate number of) boats were only half full, to boot…which kind of suggests to me that the real rule was “every man for himself”.
I guess now’s as good a time as any for another Chrissie Hynde classic, dedicated to all you lurking Menz Rightz wankers out there:
Now, time for me to go look up a good reverse-chocolate-chip cookie recipe. And some macadamia nuts.
[REVERSE GENDERS] My grandma cooked and ate a “gingerbread man”. Just imagine how outraged everyone would be if someone did the same thing to a gingerbread woman!
I’m seconding @marinerachels suggestion that we should have a cookie of misandry on the right hand bar.A big delicious fucking one too!
@Phoenician in a time of Romans:
I’m not sure exactly what Johansson’s net worth is… estimates vary between 35 million and 150 million. Even if we were conservative and said she was worth 55 million, and you sold the black-market butter for $2 dollars, you’d need to push 27.5 million pounds of butter at a time.
That’s 12.3 thousand cubic tons of butter, or nearly 25,000 tiger cubs. It’s also almost 500,000 cubic feet of butter, which is about 370-ish Twenty-foot Equivalent Units (TEUs). Luckily, the smallest class cargo ships, small feeders, hold around 1000 TEUs, so it’s pretty manageable, but it is still a lot of butter to move at once.
You know what, random MRA dude whose opinion I don’t particularly value? “Ladies first” DOES bother me. But you know what I’m not going to do? I’m not going to bring the potluck to a screeching halt as I lecture everyone on my feminist values right then and there and drag two or three uncomfortable dudes into the line ahead of me. Because things like politeness and context matter, especially when it comes to something as trivial as the order in which cookies get handed out. (I would likewise not make a stink over someone saying “Gentlemen first”, for exactly the same reasons.)
Thinking of others’ feelings is a nifty social skill; you might want to look into it.
You know, I usually find the ‘are these guys 12 years old?’ tag pretty accurate, but throwing tantrums over cookies? Yeah, I think 12 years old might be too generous there.
Kirbywarp – I am NO LONGER accepting partial units of sex symbols I have crushes on. Not after that last time.
Gingerbread man aside: the Mutter Museum of medical oddities sells a conjoined-twin gingerbread man cookie cutter. Two heads, basically.
It’s adorable and fun at Halloween.
Gingerbread man aside: I just saw a tag on Destiny that was ‘A Wild Old Lady’, and now I’m imagining a little grandma schooling a bunch of gamebros. My day=made.
ladysunami: Mr Cookie Whiner claims the person making the cookie comment was a feminist, at least implicitly. What he doesn’t say is that she was probably j o k i n g when she said it, because COOKIES. MRAs aren’t noted for their sense of humour.
Do these women really exist to the degree that mras say they do? Because truthfully, I have run into women who make a big deal about the “ladies first” thing, and they’ve all been conservative and many were explicitly anti-feminist. Which sounds (shockingly) pretty consistent to me.
Gingerbread man aside: I have an excellent recipe for gingerbread pancakes if anyone would like it. (I’ve mentioned these before but I made them again this morning and gingerbread came up and any excuse).
@Policy of Madness
Gingerbread man aside: yes, please!
Gingerbread man aside: this is NOT AS HARD AS IT LOOKS. Don’t be intimidated by the length of the ingredient list.
Dry:
1 1/2 c all purpose flour
2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1 tsp ground ginger
2 tsp cinnamon
Not dry:
1 egg
1/2 tsp vanilla
1/4 c blackstrap molasses (note: most molasses you find in the store will be blackstrap)
1 c milk
Whisk together the dry ingredients in a bowl.
Using a mixer, combine the egg, vanilla and molasses until smooth. Add milk and combine. Or, I guess you could use a whisk but I don’t put in that much effort.
Dump in the dry ingredients and mix (with the whisk, not the mixer) until barely combined. You will have a thick, gloppy batter with myriad tiny lumps.
This takes all of 10 minutes to put together the batter, and yields 8-10 pancakes if you pour by 1/4 cupfuls like I do.
I should have clarified: most of the molasses you find in the store in the United States will be blackstrap. Don’t know about dem furriners.
I tend to buy more expensive butter when I’m baking, despite thinking there wasn’t really much difference. I’m a sucker for nice packaging. Good to know it might actually have made a difference. I imagine they’ll start labelling butter with low water content in a big typeface if it continues to be an issue.
And, are you in Australia Kirbywarp?
Holy mother of yum. I am trying those, stat. Thanks!
They taste exactly like gingerbread cookies, only in pancake form that you can eat every day if you want.