Men’s Rights Activists love to chastise feminists for allegedly dealing mostly with “first world problems,” trivial annoyances that pale in comparison to the REAL issues faced by women (and men) in the rest of the world. So it’s a good thing that MRAs only get themselves worked up about life and death issues.
Like COOKIE MISANDRY.
Let’s let Men’s Rights Redditor kizzan explain this insidious danger to modern man:
As Martin Luther King might have said, “A cookie delayed is a cookie denied.”
Well, he might not have put it that way exactly. But having to wait literally seconds for a cookie is pretty much the definition of justice denied.
In any case, as the 80 upvotes and 60 comments to his post suggest, Kizzan is not the only one outraged by this blatant oppression of men.
![p3ngwin 20 points 1 day ago chivalry when they like it, sexism when they don't. and yes, it's often called "benevolent sexism" by assholes, as if that justifies it. permalink save give gold [–]Revoran 8 points 1 day ago "Women and children first" as the men stay behind on the boat to drown. "Benevolent" sexism... not so benevolent if you're a man who gets the short stick.](https://i0.wp.com/www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/titanic.png?resize=508%2C202&ssl=1)
Clearly waiting a few seconds for a cookie is equivalent to giving up a seat in a lifeboat on the Titanic so that some dumb lady can live.
ParanoidAgnostic blamed feminism and its “ladies first” agenda.
Exactly. Who can forget Mary Woolstonecraft’s 1792 manifesto “A Vindication of the Rights of Woman to Cookies Right Now Give Me the Goddamn Cookie You Filthy Man?”
Our old friend GenderNeutralLanguag [sic] suggested that these insidious misandrists be confronted for their terrible hypocrisy:
Mr. GenderNeutralLanguag [sic]Â must be fun at parties.
Khal534, meanwhile, reported on some important human rights activism he did on this very issue and that totally happened just like this uh huh:
Not everyone agreed that cookie misandry was the most important issue of all time.
Happily this cookie misandry denier was rightly chastised with downvotes for his manginaism.
Below, see a famous chick singer demanding that men and boys wait for cookies. At least that’s what I assume she’s singing about, from the song title. I really have no idea what the hell she’s saying.
NOTE: In case any MRAs think that I agree in any way with this clearly misandrist cookies-for-ladies-a-few-seconds-before-cookies-for-men agenda, let me just say that I firmly believe that cookies should be given to me first. And if there are any left the ladies can fight for them. Seems fair to me. In any case, that’s my Cookie Policy, and by accessing this website you have agreed to it.
H/T — r/againstmensrights
Cookie Policy? I see what you did there…
Who made those cookies that have kizzan’s panties in a bunch? I bet it wasn’t kizzan.
kizzan, when you bake the cookies, you can decide who gets the fucking cookies first, okay?
Hilarious!
Thanks, David, for a mid-morn laugh. I guess one could be almost grateful to misogynists for the endless supply of satirical material.
P.S. For those MRA and other misogynist warriors who have not read it (shame on you), I highly recommend the classic John Stuart Mill’s treatise, “The Subjection of Men by Cookie Deprivation:” http://www.constitution.org/jsm/women.htm
Should make some heads ‘splode.
FEMINAZI STOLE MY COOKIE!
(Also, uh, if comments are untagged, it’s me, Rogan. …I should probably change that.)
Cookie Monster, what do you think of having to wait for ladies first?
Hmm. That was less melodramatic than the MRA types.
I find it much better to simply make the cookies myself. That way I get them before my wife, kids, or any other parasites…errr….guests. Failing that, simply offer to hand out the cookies yourself. If you do not manage to snarfle down one of the cookies between getting the tray of cookies and handing out the cookies, you have failed your childhood.
Allow me to also share this brilliant video by Scott Benson.
Oh and unrelated, except for Cookie Monster brain bleach fun.
Rogan: Aaaaaah, I am feeling so conflicted!
Okay, so there’s this con in Boston next week. We have been there every year since its inception, either as a tabler or an attendee. Due to health reasons, and financial, we decided not to go. It was a very sad decision, because aaaaaaaah I’m missing MICE.
One of the heads of the con apparently missed the memo, and asked if we were coming today. I said I couldn’t and then he asked if a donation would get us there.
I WANT TO GO SOOOO BADLY ARGH.
I know I shouldn’t. I know that our brain was vomiting horrorshows just a little over a week ago, but… but… ehnnnngggggh!
Kid is not helping. Kid died long before the concept of disability was on the horizon, back when the rule of the system was “DO AT ALL COSTS” so she of course thinks going would be the best thing ever.
I AM SO CONFLICTED.
If I had any MRAs at my family gatherings, I might try to give them cookies first, simply because it’d be hard to talk with a mouthful of peanut butter and chocolate chips.
Might just be wishful thinking on my part, though.
MASSIVE mra temper tantrums are very likely now that California has passed a “Verbal Yes is required for consent” law.
Oh, hi Genderneutrallanguage!
All in favor of posting “COOKIES ARE OPRESSION!!” next time zie shows up?
🙂
Jeez. As long as everyone who wants a cookie gets a cookie, who the fuck cares what order they get them in? So yeah, it’s wrong to insist upon “ladies first,” and it’s equally wrong to whine about someone insisting upon “ladies first.” BOTH PARTIES ARE MAKING A BIG DEAL LITERALLY OVER COOKIES.
…or did zie finally get banned for being ridiculously obnoxious and downright awful in one of the threads…
Well, if zie is reading: COOKIES ARE OPRESSION!!
We need a big, delicious fucking cookie of misandry on the right hand side of the blog.
Wow, these guys have stooped to a new level of pettiness.
And to compare common table etiquette to the sacrifice of passengers on the Titanic?
It’s a shame that good men like Jaques Futrelle gave up their lives to save their loved ones, while these idiots bicker over sharing cookies with theirs.
The ladies didn’t even get the cookies first… He simply overheard “someone” complaining about the ladies not getting them first. I’m making the assumption this “someone” was female, but there is no way to know if she was even a feminist. (MRAs seem to assume all women who annoy them are feminists). She could have been somebody’s old fashioned grandmother or a seven year old girl who picked up the “lady’s first” thing from TV. Maybe she was an adult woman and a feminist, but then maybe the cookie distributor who she was complaining at was also a feminist!
Karalora, it’s perfectly appropriate to make a big deal over cookies. Everyone knows the only reason to watch Sesame Street is the Cookie Monster.
We have to hold true to our Sesame Street values.
Give me cookie!
/facetiousness, just in case it wasn’t obvious. 🙂
Wait for it to evolve into ‘where’s my sammiches to go with my cookies bitch?’ sort of conversation. Really, can these guys be more babyish? Thank the Great Power of the Universe that a lot of MRA’s are MGTOW’s as well and in their basements away from the dating pool as well as the gene pool. They have done us ladies a favor.
Cookie misandry is the best misandry. I like mine with chocolate and … without nuts.
Ok, but I think in our haste to mock these brave men, we’ve all overlooked the most important detail here
ARE THERE ANY COOKIES LEFT AND I WANT SOME
http://youtu.be/b_ubVVnWglk
Strangely appropriate. Cookies. Delayed. More cookies. Cookies for everyone.
RE: contrapangloss
Rogan: Aw, that was cute!
Hell, it could have been an in-joke between the “complainer” and the cookie-giver for all we know. My sisters and I have weirder in-jokes than that.
Just throwing this out there, but videos of Muppets in character improvising with guests in unaired footage is some of the best stuff ever. All this talk of Cookie Monster reminded me of that because he was in the last one I saw with John Oliver.