Uh oh, fellas! It seems that the evil femmies are taking over another bastion of manhood: the NFL.
According to one Man Going His Own Way(very loudly) known as Cybro, who blogs at Rex Patriarch,
Another male space is being assimilated.
Making the players wear pink was the beginning of the end. It may have even started before that with the female sportscasters getting in front of the cameras while men were trying to watch football but the trend is now clear.
Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together. LADIES IN FRONT OF CAMERAS!
The FemBorg Collective is taking over.
So what’s got Cybro’s knickers in a twist? An article noting that the NFL is – gasp! – now actually including some women in its policy making process. One women – NFL VP of community affairs and philanthropy Anna Isaacson – has now been given the title VP of Social Responsibility. And the NFL is consulting with several other women on how to win back women after all the recent domestic violence fiascos.
Cybro is convinced that these four women – that’s right, we’re talking about four entire women – are going to turn the NFL into some sort of Orwellian antimale nightmare.
Their idea of Social Responsibility is going to be whatever the Collective says it’s going to be. Sure it will start with something obvious men should already not be doing but it will snowball from there. They are going to push men to jump through every kind of hoop they can dream up just to get into a game.
Actually, I sort of like this idea. Let’s spice up football with some strategically placed hoops!
I can imagine whatever the players are being forced into doing will expand to the male fans. … [F]orget about doing what men do at games. Screaming like maniacs for their team. Last time I checked shouting was a form of Domestic Violence. Security will be all over that when the time comes.
Yeah, I’m pretty sure that shouting abuse at your partner is different than yelling “J-E-T-S! Jets! Jets! Jets!”
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that any man who isn’t a complete eunuch will stop going to the games. Most men probably already have but the NFL doesn’t seem to make most of it’s revenue from ticket sales.
It comes from commercials ads.
For those of you who think you are going to just record the games and skip through those annoying ads I got some very bad news for you. Not only are you going to be required to watch those ads but you will have to take a test in order to continue watching the rest of the game. The internet and cable already have Parental Controls on them so it wouldn’t be a stretch to add some Male Controls to them as well.
No, that might be just a little bit of a stretch.
What will all this do to professional sports?
It will crash it if the FemBorg Collective has its way because that’s the whole idea to begin.
To assimilate male space and destroy it.
Yep, that’s right. The NFL gives one female executive a new title, and hires three other women as consultants, because NFL players keep getting arrested for (alleged) domestic abuse, and this means that FOOTBALL IS DOOMED, DOOMED I SAY! IT’S THE END OF MEN!!!
MGTOW… Because resistance is not futile.
Mr. Man Going Your Own Way, please, please, please, please, please, just go.
So I should wear short shorts if I don’t want to start another Chicago fire? That was close! Thanks!
Why do I always have to read the comments? I know better than to read the comments. Overall, the article was pretty good, it focused on the abuse and harrassment women like Quinn and Sarkeesian receive, but yeesh, the comments! This one was funny, though:
Yep. NPR tends to be more interested in covering actual reality rather than wonky conspiracy theories.
But the game journalists have a MAILING LIST!!
Will change the man panties thing.
I rather like drawers for underwear – totally neutral, plus out of date, plus always reminds me of this bit from The Goon Show:
Announcer: And now for a word from our sponsor.
Sponsor: DRAWERS!
Announcer: Next week, another word.
David, oh David. You’re such a mangina. You need to dig in and insist on whatever phrasing first occurred to you, because otherwise SJW FEMINAZI KNITTING CATS control the universe.
I cast my vote for drawers. You have to pronounce it just like that though – draaaaahers.
“Briefs” would work if you wanted something male-specific.
It’s not just SJW feminist cats you need to fear with the knitting.
http://images.yuku.com.s3.amazonaws.com/image/jpeg/63a36486453174eddcfc91b8d7ed04a41e0b577a.jpg
Are knickers gender-neutral for youse all then? At least in the bubble I was raised in, knickers are for girls and pants are for boys. And panties are for Americans.
I think the logic on the enforced ad watching feminist plot thing might be that no woman actually cares about sports, but they do care about money, so if they’re getting involved with a sports organisation it’s because they have nefarious plans to monetise the sport, and it’ll be Male Controls because they’ll only activate them for manly programmes like sports and maybe violent films, and the plot is so nefarious it will alter the nature of recording devices so you can’t skip the ads. Because women are magic and destroy everything they touch.
Knickers refers to women’s pants here in Oz, duckbunny.
Uh oh, don’t anyone tell this dude about basketball.
“My past is littered with the bones of men who were foolish enough to think I was someone they could sleep on.” Thrillingly perfect.
At first, I misread “drawers” as “chest of drawers” like one of these things, then I got really confused trying to figure out when and how this pretty basic piece of furniture went out of date. 🙂
I think I need some coffee.
Bee – I love this line from that piece:
Ha! Those Picts would be sorry. You just know those rabbits are littermates of the Rabbit of Caerbannog.
Sparky – LOL! I think the words come from the same idea – something that’s drawn or pulled. I was just looking it up and the underwear version dates from the 1560s or thereabouts, the furniture version from twenty-thirty years later. What the wretched dictionaries don’t say is whether the furniture is named for the idea of pulling or sliding the compartment, or because that’s where one stored the underwear.
Can I vote for having one’s testes in a Gordian Knot, rather than any underwear bunched, twisted, or otherwise uncomfortably travelling? I just think it’s misandrier, and, thus, classier.
Wat?!? No man panties??
I started calling my husband’s boxer briefs man panties a few years ago. The first time I said “man panties” out loud, my friend and I had a five minute laughing fit. I still can’t utter those words without giggling. Typing it doesn’t do that, though.
No, I don’t know why. But I’m not going to let my undergarments get shifted into an uncomfortable position!
<upper class British twit accent>Kitteh… Don’t do that.</upper class British twit accent>
My boyfriend just asked me why my eyebrow shot into my hairline while reading this post. I showed him exactly why, and he shook his head and said I find the weirdest people on the internet.
Seriously though, I bet Reynolds Wrap is making a killing off this dude. WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK DID I JUST READ.
I am totally down with knickers or drawers. The word ‘panties’ has been forever tainted to me because of Piers Anthony. I just shudder when I hear it.
I remember reading a detective story when I was about 13 that had the line “The detective went upstairs and searched his drawers.”
It took me several minutes to regain my composure.
…Maybe that’s where he kept his case notes or something. You can never be too cautious with your notes.
Shades of the opening of The Sting. “Stuff it down your pants. Ain’t a tough guy in the world’s going to frisk you there.”
@kittehserf:
This is what it puts me in mind of. (Warning: “strong” language.)