Categories
a woman is always to blame antifeminism are these guys 12 years old? crackpottery drama kings entitled babies evil women gender policing grandiosity irony alert men who should not ever be with women ever MGTOW misogyny MRA patriarchy playing the victim

The Femborg Collective has its sights on … the NFL. Professional football is DOOMED!

Women ruining football in the 1920s. Click for more info.
Women ruining football in the 1920s. Click for more info.

Uh oh, fellas! It seems that the evil femmies are taking over another bastion of manhood: the NFL.

According to one Man Going His Own Way(very loudly)  known as Cybro, who blogs at Rex Patriarch,

Another male space is being assimilated.

Making the players wear pink was the beginning of the end. It may have even started before that with the female sportscasters getting in front of the cameras while men were trying to watch football but the trend is now clear.

Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together. LADIES IN FRONT OF CAMERAS!

The FemBorg Collective is taking over.

So what’s got Cybro’s knickers in a twist? An article noting that the NFL is – gasp! – now actually including some women in its policy making process. One women – NFL VP of community affairs and philanthropy Anna Isaacson – has now been given the title VP of Social Responsibility. And the NFL is consulting with several other women on how to win back women after all the recent domestic violence fiascos.

Cybro is convinced that these four women – that’s right, we’re talking about four entire women – are going to turn the NFL into some sort of Orwellian antimale nightmare.

Their idea of Social Responsibility is going to be whatever the Collective says it’s going to be. Sure it will start with something obvious men should already not be doing but it will snowball from there. They are going to push men to jump through every kind of hoop they can dream up just to get into a game.

Actually, I sort of like this idea. Let’s spice up football with some strategically placed hoops!

I can imagine whatever the players are being forced into doing will expand to the male fans. … [F]orget about doing what men do at games. Screaming like maniacs for their team. Last time I checked shouting was a form of Domestic Violence. Security will be all over that when the time comes.

Yeah, I’m pretty sure that shouting abuse at your partner is different than yelling “J-E-T-S! Jets! Jets! Jets!”

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that any man who isn’t a complete eunuch will stop going to the games. Most men probably already have but the NFL doesn’t seem to make most of it’s revenue from ticket sales.

It comes from commercials ads.

For those of you who think you are going to just record the games and skip through those annoying ads I got some very bad news for you. Not only are you going to be required to watch those ads but you will have to take a test in order to continue watching the rest of the game. The internet and cable already have Parental Controls on them so it wouldn’t be a stretch to add some Male Controls to them as well.

No, that might be just a little bit of a stretch.

What will all this do to professional sports?

It will crash it if the FemBorg Collective has its way because that’s the whole idea to begin.

To assimilate male space and destroy it.

Yep, that’s right. The NFL gives one female executive a new title, and hires three other women as consultants, because NFL players keep getting arrested for (alleged) domestic abuse, and this means that FOOTBALL IS DOOMED, DOOMED I SAY! IT’S THE END OF MEN!!!

MGTOW… Because resistance is not futile.

Mr. Man Going Your Own Way, please, please, please, please, please, just go.

Subscribe
Notify of
guest

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

97 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
ralmcg
ralmcg
7 years ago

To the manosphere there’s rugby. Oh wait, there’s women playing that game.

cloudiah
7 years ago

My first thought was, “How did he find out about our own little Feminist Borg?” Now we should start writing about football.

accidently
accidently
7 years ago

hi, david. i would like to follow you on facebook. can’t you change your settings or something so we can follow you? thaaanks 😉

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
7 years ago

All the NFL fans I know are women.

Kevin K
Kevin K
7 years ago

Making the players wear pink was the beginning of the end.

Heh. It didn’t start with the wearing of pink. It started when Lawrence Taylor (one of the fiercest linebackers in the history of the game) started wearing EARRINGS! Big ole diamond studs. During games!

Lawrence Taylor was obviously a beta mangina.

Misha
Misha
7 years ago

The Borg? Isn’t that a star trek thing…?

Eh, who cares, sign me up! The FemBorg Collective sounds fun!

Holytape
7 years ago

Football is for wussies. Now, WWE wrestling, that’s a true manly man sport.

Falconer
7 years ago

Shorter Cybro:

WELL WHY DON’T YOU JUST CUT MY BALLS OFF AND HAVE DONE WITH IT?!!

bunnybunny
bunnybunny
7 years ago

He’s right. I went to a Giants game last weekend and there was a disturbingly high number of feeeeemales in attendance. I heard soon they’re going to start banning Coors Light and start selling white wine spritzers exclusively.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
7 years ago

Most men probably already have but the NFL doesn’t seem to make most of it’s revenue from ticket sales.

It comes from commercials ads.

For those of you who think you are going to just record the games and skip through those annoying ads I got some very bad news for you. Not only are you going to be required to watch those ads but you will have to take a test in order to continue watching the rest of the game. The internet and cable already have Parental Controls on them so it wouldn’t be a stretch to add some Male Controls to them as well.

How is this even a stereotypically female thing? It sounds like a greedy corporate thing. When has any woman, let alone a feminist, advocated for something so silly? Calling it “Male Control” does not a justification make. What, are women going to be given a secret passcode to skip the ad testing?

Kakanian
Kakanian
7 years ago

Didn’t the demise of football already start back when Feminists invaded the male space Cheerleader~ing?

Octo
Octo
7 years ago

Heh, Kirby, I was going to mention that before seeing you did. These guys apparently really do see women as Satan incarnated – everything evil in the world comes from them.

Mia Jessica
Mia Jessica
7 years ago

I find the majority of my response to these articles to be best expressed with that wonderful gif from Firefly, of Mal trying to interrupt someone and failing eloquently – http://gif-central.blogspot.com/2012/02/nathan-fillion-reaction.html – because I just can’t process how ridiculously stunted and twisted the stuff these dudebro’s come out with. It’s often worse than the tinfoil hattery of conspiracy theorists.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

My first thought was, “How did he find out about our own little Feminist Borg?” Now we should start writing about football.

Maybe I will. I love football, and I’m having a real hard time reconciling that with how the NFL is and has been fucking up.

ikanreed
ikanreed
7 years ago

Are there any areas where evil feminists are taking over, and destroying our precious bodily fluids, other than trivial events in banal entertainment industries?

Oh no, a feminist talking about video games!
Oh no, feminists talking about sports!
Oh no, feminists talking about comic book movies!

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

Not only are you going to be required to watch those ads but you will have to take a test in order to continue watching the rest of the game.

This takes the conspiracy theory cake (which is a lie anyway). Dude, I hate to burst your paranoid bubble, but Comcast can’t even get their shit together enough for wireless receivers, so I don’t foresee testing and “male control” any time soon.

dudeinthewoods
7 years ago

I think cheerleaders get a free pass cause of boobies and short skirts. Plus they get paid crap, so it ticks a couple of boxes for these guys.

Personally I find football to be appallingly boring, at least hockey has Don Cherry for me to make fun of.

freemage
freemage
7 years ago

This is a delightfully silly little rant–sometimes we need the comic relief when the rest of the misogyny is so vile you want to retch.

That said, in the future, David, I’d suggest avoiding the phrase, “panties in a bunch”. I’ve never consistently heard the word ‘panties’ used for men’s underwear, even briefs of a comparable size. Thus it ties into that whole bit of using ‘feminine’ to mean ‘bad’.

Note: This is a suggestion, something to think about. It’s one I’ve only recently been trying to eliminate from my own stock of insulting idioms, which is probably why it jumped out at me here.

Tabby Lavalamp
7 years ago

I would like to see the end of concussionball because of what it does inside the skulls of the players.

dudeinthewoods
7 years ago

Does the NFL not have a limit on how many concussions you can get ala the NHL?

I’m Canadian so what I know about the NFL couldn’t fill the back of a business card.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

Lulz, my countrymen acting like football is the manliest sport on the planet. Hahahaha dumbasses.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants

Didn’t the demise of football already start back when Feminists invaded the male space Cheerleader~ing?

Oh, it started long before then. Back when Rosie Grier was doing needlepoint. and Deacon Jones sang, and Peter Brady bravely became the first player to crack the Pop Warner Football glee-club canary barrier.

katz
7 years ago

I can never get over these guys’ belief in their unalienable right to exclude women, and how they think that “include women in some things, exclude women from other things” is a fair compromise.

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
7 years ago

Nonononono, it wasn’t LTs earrings. It was back in the day when they started wearing helmets and pads. Bunch of light weights.

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
7 years ago

The NFL is registered as a non profit if you can believe it.

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

Making the players wear pink was the beginning of the end.

Don’t anyone tell this wank-tank that pink used to be a “boy” color, and blue used to be for girls!

Cassie's Major Domo
Cassie's Major Domo
7 years ago

I’m not getting the connection between a few women in VP positions and forced commercial viewing. There’s something about “male controls” scribbled down in the rant, but I don’t know how this forces you to watch ads. Don’t guys who watch football always get up and get a beer while the ads are on? (I’m a guy, but I don’t watch football, so I have no original research the verify this.) Would the “male control” in the box manage to lock the fridge, or perhaps freeze the Lazy-Z-Boy handle to prevent the man from getting up? I’m trying to parse this, but it seems written from an alternate cyberpunk future rather than the reality I know. Maybe his use of “Borg Collective” indicates he is transmitting to us from an alternate reality? Possibly the future from Star Trek: First Contact where the Borg assimilated Earth? But I don’t think the Borg collective would want to play football.

Either way, I will allow him and football to please go their own way.

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

Oh no, a feminist talking about video games!
Oh no, feminists talking about sports!
Oh no, feminists talking about comic book movies!

Dear God. Will no one save the menz from all the relentless gender analysis?

http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/30/3023e114cf293cb3c0dafb6592434d8711d80ec3b640e367e42e98f8e910eeb1.jpg

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
7 years ago

These may be the same guys who think white males are the majority of the population of the world and that is why they win all the Nobel prizes. No! Srsly. They are out there saying that.

Bonelady
Bonelady
7 years ago

Is “get your knickers in a twist” an acceptable alternate? Seeing as knickerbockers originally clothing worn by men and boys? Just wondering…

Phoenician in a time of Romans
Phoenician in a time of Romans
7 years ago

Cheerleaders aren’t there as people; they’re there as eye candy – cheap entertainment for middle-aged married guys to leer at. There’s never any problem in putting T&A in these male bastions – it’s reminding them that the T&A are connected to brains and mouths that raises hackles.

Try to imagine a team of cheerleaders making a statement about global warming or feminism before going through their routine and imagine the apoplexy and screeching that would result.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

I don’t even understand the concept of a male space. Dudes, it’s not hard. Get some of your best male friends, go to one of y’all’s abodes, and do whatever you want. BAM! Instant guy night!

Erica Stratton
7 years ago

@freemage I always liked “boxers in a bunch” or “knickers in a twist” (knickers are gender-neutral, right? o.o;)

Puddleglum
7 years ago

But I don’t think the Borg collective would want to play football.

I read this and immediately started thinking about why the Borg might want to play football.

JM
JM
7 years ago

Meanwhile….in Australia…

The Australian Football League has had roughly 50/50 gender representations among fans, and has had this for a long time. At the same time they have attempted to increase the diversity of their audience, with more family friendly stands, and outreach to new communities to make the game welcoming.

Somehow the AFL remains popular, and highly profitable. Also, still remains fairly rough.

(NB-Not to say it’s perfect-it’s not, and there is plenty of sexism, and abusive behavior by players. However, it is clearner than its rugby cousins)

BringTheNoise
BringTheNoise
7 years ago

It started when Lawrence Taylor (one of the fiercest linebackers in the history of the game) started wearing EARRINGS! Big ole diamond studs. During games!

[…]

Football is for wussies. Now, WWE wrestling, that’s a true manly man sport.

But Taylor has done both! You’re CLEARLY just trying to confuse us MENZ~!

AbsintheDexterous
AbsintheDexterous
7 years ago

I’m from Wisconsin, Packer country, so I have no idea what this guy is going on about. Entire families will dress in green and gold complete with sport jersey dresses for little girls, available in pink even, if your kid’s into that. I’m not into sports at all, and of the guys I’ve dated, only one was a sports fan. Packers and Brewers, naturally.

If Cybro isn’t posting from an alternate reality, then he must be posting from somewhere where no woman ever watches any kind of sports.

Xanith
Xanith
7 years ago

Wait, how does he think Male Controls will stop men from watching football? I thought tech was something men (and only men) were supposed to be good at by manosphere logic. If teenagers can get past parental controls all the time, shouldn’t Male Controls be a breeze for alpha male tech geniuses?

freemage
freemage
7 years ago

I like “knickers in a twist”, I think.

freemage
freemage
7 years ago

Xanith | September 24, 2014 at 5:34 pm

Wait, how does he think Male Controls will stop men from watching football? I thought tech was something men (and only men) were supposed to be good at by manosphere logic. If teenagers can get past parental controls all the time, shouldn’t Male Controls be a breeze for alpha male tech geniuses?

Ah, but remember, the alphas often cater to the feminists in order to keep the betas in perpetual servitude. Red-pillers (especially of the MGTOW variety) will often admit to not actually being alphas, whom they resent for being the cocks of the proverbial (nay, mythical) carousel.

Master of the Boot
Master of the Boot
7 years ago

And letting black soldiers be equal to white soldiers will lead to Armageddon. And Obama admitting that football players get concussions makes him the Manchurian candidate.

These fuckers are a fragile bunch. Four whole women in an authority position make them go to the bathroom all over themselves.

And frankly this guy can’t name one non imaginary reason this is bad

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

I like “undies in a bunch” personally.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

Masculinity: according to these guys, the toughest, smartest, strongest shit in the world… but so brittle it is destroyed by the presence of four women.

Okay then. Good to know which side I should be on!

Phoenician in a time of Romans
Phoenician in a time of Romans
7 years ago

JM: (NB-Not to say it’s perfect-it’s not, and there is plenty of sexism, and abusive behavior by players. However, it is clearner than its rugby cousins)

I would, at this point, dearly love to reflexively sneer at an Aussie and defend the honour of our glorious national sport against the pitiful imitation that is AFL.

But i can’t, on this matter. The Aussie wins.

Viscaria
Viscaria
7 years ago

Football is a manly man sport for men! Women only make up a measly 42% of fans, after all. Barely worth counting.

Shaun DarthBatman Day
7 years ago

First they came for the NBA, and I did not speak out because I was not an American.

I honestly prefer CFL, although I’m apparently a minority.

Shaun DarthBatman Day
7 years ago

Whoops.

Clearly I meant *NFL I have no idea where that came from.

Viscaria
Viscaria
7 years ago

All the football fans I know have Strong Opinions about whether the CFL or the NFL is the more enjoyable league to watch.

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
7 years ago

MRAvin K. Mooney, would you Please Go Now?

Sorry. I just had to.

grumpyoldnurse
grumpyoldnurse
7 years ago

Whoops.

Clearly I meant *NFL I have no idea where that came from.

The TRUE conspiracy is revealed! It is Canada that is trying to take over, not women! Soon you will all drink dark ale, and eat poutine and say “eh” after interrogative statements!

Mwhahahahahahaha! and Take off, eh!