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The Femborg Collective has its sights on … the NFL. Professional football is DOOMED!

Women ruining football in the 1920s. Click for more info.
Women ruining football in the 1920s. Click for more info.

Uh oh, fellas! It seems that the evil femmies are taking over another bastion of manhood: the NFL.

According to one Man Going His Own Way(very loudly)  known as Cybro, who blogs at Rex Patriarch,

Another male space is being assimilated.

Making the players wear pink was the beginning of the end. It may have even started before that with the female sportscasters getting in front of the cameras while men were trying to watch football but the trend is now clear.

Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together. LADIES IN FRONT OF CAMERAS!

The FemBorg Collective is taking over.

So what’s got Cybro’s knickers in a twist? An article noting that the NFL is – gasp! – now actually including some women in its policy making process. One women – NFL VP of community affairs and philanthropy Anna Isaacson – has now been given the title VP of Social Responsibility. And the NFL is consulting with several other women on how to win back women after all the recent domestic violence fiascos.

Cybro is convinced that these four women – that’s right, we’re talking about four entire women – are going to turn the NFL into some sort of Orwellian antimale nightmare.

Their idea of Social Responsibility is going to be whatever the Collective says it’s going to be. Sure it will start with something obvious men should already not be doing but it will snowball from there. They are going to push men to jump through every kind of hoop they can dream up just to get into a game.

Actually, I sort of like this idea. Let’s spice up football with some strategically placed hoops!

I can imagine whatever the players are being forced into doing will expand to the male fans. … [F]orget about doing what men do at games. Screaming like maniacs for their team. Last time I checked shouting was a form of Domestic Violence. Security will be all over that when the time comes.

Yeah, I’m pretty sure that shouting abuse at your partner is different than yelling “J-E-T-S! Jets! Jets! Jets!”

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that any man who isn’t a complete eunuch will stop going to the games. Most men probably already have but the NFL doesn’t seem to make most of it’s revenue from ticket sales.

It comes from commercials ads.

For those of you who think you are going to just record the games and skip through those annoying ads I got some very bad news for you. Not only are you going to be required to watch those ads but you will have to take a test in order to continue watching the rest of the game. The internet and cable already have Parental Controls on them so it wouldn’t be a stretch to add some Male Controls to them as well.

No, that might be just a little bit of a stretch.

What will all this do to professional sports?

It will crash it if the FemBorg Collective has its way because that’s the whole idea to begin.

To assimilate male space and destroy it.

Yep, that’s right. The NFL gives one female executive a new title, and hires three other women as consultants, because NFL players keep getting arrested for (alleged) domestic abuse, and this means that FOOTBALL IS DOOMED, DOOMED I SAY! IT’S THE END OF MEN!!!

MGTOW… Because resistance is not futile.

Mr. Man Going Your Own Way, please, please, please, please, please, just go.

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ralmcg
10 years ago

To the manosphere there’s rugby. Oh wait, there’s women playing that game.

cloudiah
10 years ago

My first thought was, “How did he find out about our own little Feminist Borg?” Now we should start writing about football.

accidently
accidently
10 years ago

hi, david. i would like to follow you on facebook. can’t you change your settings or something so we can follow you? thaaanks 😉

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
10 years ago

All the NFL fans I know are women.

Kevin K
Kevin K
10 years ago

Making the players wear pink was the beginning of the end.

Heh. It didn’t start with the wearing of pink. It started when Lawrence Taylor (one of the fiercest linebackers in the history of the game) started wearing EARRINGS! Big ole diamond studs. During games!

Lawrence Taylor was obviously a beta mangina.

Misha
10 years ago

The Borg? Isn’t that a star trek thing…?

Eh, who cares, sign me up! The FemBorg Collective sounds fun!

Holytape
10 years ago

Football is for wussies. Now, WWE wrestling, that’s a true manly man sport.

Falconer
10 years ago

Shorter Cybro:

WELL WHY DON’T YOU JUST CUT MY BALLS OFF AND HAVE DONE WITH IT?!!

bunnybunny
bunnybunny
10 years ago

He’s right. I went to a Giants game last weekend and there was a disturbingly high number of feeeeemales in attendance. I heard soon they’re going to start banning Coors Light and start selling white wine spritzers exclusively.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
10 years ago

Most men probably already have but the NFL doesn’t seem to make most of it’s revenue from ticket sales.

It comes from commercials ads.

For those of you who think you are going to just record the games and skip through those annoying ads I got some very bad news for you. Not only are you going to be required to watch those ads but you will have to take a test in order to continue watching the rest of the game. The internet and cable already have Parental Controls on them so it wouldn’t be a stretch to add some Male Controls to them as well.

How is this even a stereotypically female thing? It sounds like a greedy corporate thing. When has any woman, let alone a feminist, advocated for something so silly? Calling it “Male Control” does not a justification make. What, are women going to be given a secret passcode to skip the ad testing?

Kakanian
Kakanian
10 years ago

Didn’t the demise of football already start back when Feminists invaded the male space Cheerleader~ing?

Octo
Octo
10 years ago

Heh, Kirby, I was going to mention that before seeing you did. These guys apparently really do see women as Satan incarnated – everything evil in the world comes from them.

Mia Jessica
Mia Jessica
10 years ago

I find the majority of my response to these articles to be best expressed with that wonderful gif from Firefly, of Mal trying to interrupt someone and failing eloquently – http://gif-central.blogspot.com/2012/02/nathan-fillion-reaction.html – because I just can’t process how ridiculously stunted and twisted the stuff these dudebro’s come out with. It’s often worse than the tinfoil hattery of conspiracy theorists.

hellkell
hellkell
10 years ago

My first thought was, “How did he find out about our own little Feminist Borg?” Now we should start writing about football.

Maybe I will. I love football, and I’m having a real hard time reconciling that with how the NFL is and has been fucking up.

ikanreed
ikanreed
10 years ago

Are there any areas where evil feminists are taking over, and destroying our precious bodily fluids, other than trivial events in banal entertainment industries?

Oh no, a feminist talking about video games!
Oh no, feminists talking about sports!
Oh no, feminists talking about comic book movies!

hellkell
hellkell
10 years ago

Not only are you going to be required to watch those ads but you will have to take a test in order to continue watching the rest of the game.

This takes the conspiracy theory cake (which is a lie anyway). Dude, I hate to burst your paranoid bubble, but Comcast can’t even get their shit together enough for wireless receivers, so I don’t foresee testing and “male control” any time soon.

dudeinthewoods
dudeinthewoods
10 years ago

I think cheerleaders get a free pass cause of boobies and short skirts. Plus they get paid crap, so it ticks a couple of boxes for these guys.

Personally I find football to be appallingly boring, at least hockey has Don Cherry for me to make fun of.

freemage
freemage
10 years ago

This is a delightfully silly little rant–sometimes we need the comic relief when the rest of the misogyny is so vile you want to retch.

That said, in the future, David, I’d suggest avoiding the phrase, “panties in a bunch”. I’ve never consistently heard the word ‘panties’ used for men’s underwear, even briefs of a comparable size. Thus it ties into that whole bit of using ‘feminine’ to mean ‘bad’.

Note: This is a suggestion, something to think about. It’s one I’ve only recently been trying to eliminate from my own stock of insulting idioms, which is probably why it jumped out at me here.

Tabby Lavalamp
Tabby Lavalamp
10 years ago

I would like to see the end of concussionball because of what it does inside the skulls of the players.

dudeinthewoods
dudeinthewoods
10 years ago

Does the NFL not have a limit on how many concussions you can get ala the NHL?

I’m Canadian so what I know about the NFL couldn’t fill the back of a business card.

LBT
LBT
10 years ago

Lulz, my countrymen acting like football is the manliest sport on the planet. Hahahaha dumbasses.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
10 years ago

Didn’t the demise of football already start back when Feminists invaded the male space Cheerleader~ing?

Oh, it started long before then. Back when Rosie Grier was doing needlepoint. and Deacon Jones sang, and Peter Brady bravely became the first player to crack the Pop Warner Football glee-club canary barrier.

katz
10 years ago

I can never get over these guys’ belief in their unalienable right to exclude women, and how they think that “include women in some things, exclude women from other things” is a fair compromise.

thebewilderness
10 years ago

Nonononono, it wasn’t LTs earrings. It was back in the day when they started wearing helmets and pads. Bunch of light weights.

thebewilderness
10 years ago

The NFL is registered as a non profit if you can believe it.

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