Fellas, you know how sometimes socks go missing (or at least seem to go missing) in the laundry? Weird, huh? Or is it all part of a sinister plot?
On The Red Pill subreddit, one concerned fella warns his comrades that laundry-doing females maybe losing your socks on purpose, for some nefarious female reason we may never understand.
[H]oly shit, can chicks wash a pair of socks without one disappearing into a parallel dimension never to be seen again?
Little shit I know. But I’ve spent the bulk of my life as a single guy in his own pad. NEVER had the missing sock issue, could always find my shit. It’s not hard to do, being organized, so this leads me to think the whole thing is a woman’s mind game designed to test you.
They are devious, these human females.
H/T — Cloudiah
@Kestrel
Wow! I literally hurt myself laughing at that.
Seriously, though, I met more people who expected the girlfriends to do laundry in any steady relationship, when I was at college! People even expected me to do my brother’s laundry. He never even considered it, though. He’s six years older than I am, so he’s been doing his own laundry for six years longer than I have. Why should he suddenly become helpless, just because we wound up at the same university for a year?
Also, he can sew, cook, and clean, and he puts the toilet seat down. And he can fight, and wanted to teach me how to rappel down the side of his apartment building for fun. So, you know, manly and all that jazz.
@kibrywarp – You are genius!
And now it’s nearly 3 am, and I need to get some sleep. Hopefully, I’ll have fun Narnia dreams.
Lol
Yep. Definitely an evil feeeeeemale plot, and not something like this: http://imgur.com/zQHVBJx
Or like this:
Yes… he found us out. Women are all secretly ferrets.
On a serious note though when socks go missing in the laundry they are usually caught the cracks of the tumbler in the dryer then sucked up the exhaust pipe. True story.
Use a mess laundry bag for your smaller items and you’ll never lose another sock or have to pay a repair person to fix your dryer.
“First they came for the socks.
And I didn’t speak up, for I am not a sock.“
Dudes and dudettes – if your socks are speaking up for themselves, YOU NEED TO WASH THEM!!!
@Grumpyoldnurse You are not alone. ALL my socks are black cotton. Of course, then you still have the problem of colour loss over time, so you have to start matching those of similar grey hues. It’s a hard life 🙁
We do it to make men late for work (because they have to stop to look for matching socks) so that we can steal their jobs, thus condemning them to non-alpha status and ensuring that their lives will be pits of misery and despair because none of the evil hypergamous bitches will touch their penis.
Women’s mind games designed to test you:
-Losing a sock in the laundry
-Not being able to find a pen that works when you need it
-headphone wires becoming tangled
-Package arriving when you’re in the shower
Just goes to show that these guys will latch on to literally anything to bolster their worldview. Anything.
I wonder if they think that the crisis in Iraq is the fault of feminists too, and that IS is just a front.
No doubt “wash your own fucking socks” has been covered.
Hell, I’m a guy living alone and buy my socks in packs, and I STILL lose some on occasion. It is a mystery.
Misandry: When women don’t do men’s laundry just right.
I just starched and ironed a shirt and used too much starch! Muhahahahaaaa! Take that patriarchy!
Kootiepatra, you are amazing! I need to have my parents check out the crannies of their dryer and washing machine!
Most of my missing socks show up in my mother’s sock drawer as a) our feet are nearly identical in size and b) I tend to drop/misplace them when traveling home to visit… But I had a whole set of thin black dress socks that slowly kept disappearing until I didn’t have a single pair left. They were much thinner than my usual socks, so they’d probably get trapped in the inner workings more easily.
@daintydougal LOL. We are so devious!
My neighbor always leaves our lost socks in an easily findable place for us, regardless of whether they are mine or my male partner’s.She’s obviously misandering wrong.
Ah, okay. Thanks for the clarification. Time to raid my building’s laundry room.
Socks? I hope not. When I signed up for feminism, I was really hoping the plotting would be less domestic. Why are we stealing socks when we could be using our sinister networks to prank parliaments?
And Cemetery: yes! I have an old, thin pillowcase for small things. It’s also a good way to wash bras without totally ruining their shape and tights without losing their elasticity (because I don’t have time to handwash ’em).
http://www.ebay.com/itm/2-Washing-Bra-Bag-Laundry-Underwear-Lingerie-Mesh-Wash-Basket-Aid-Net-New-H-103-/151283154450?_trksid=p2054897.l5668
I’m just saying! More effective at getting things clean than putting them in a pillowcase, and the shape means the bra doesn’t get squished or bent either.
I want to know why this guys isn’t doing his own laundry if he’s so capable. I feel sorry for the poor woman stuck doing this guy’s washing for him and not only being unappreciated for it, but resented. He should be doing his own laundry. He’s not a child.
I do my laundry and the little kids laundry. We share towels, napkins etc. The kids fold and put away their own clothes, especially their socks. I’d rather chew tinfoil than fold a basket of socks. Because of this, the kids decided some time ago that they would wear mismatched socks.They’ll wear a Mario and a Yoshi sock, or two different solid colors. It makes for faster folding and it’s adorkable. My husband and my teen do their own laundry because they aren’t helpless. They also do their own mending. Buttons are not sorcery. If my teenager can do it, a grown man can certainly do it. I have seen this miracle with my own eyes!
I remember a friend of mine married an much older man right out of high school. His mother delivered his freshly laundered and pressed shirts to him at the wedding shower. All I could think was “RUN!!!!”. Eventually, she did. I hope the suspected sock bandit does too.
I my socks vanish all the time – and I live alone. Still this came to mind when I read about missing socks:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01R_lP51Pw0
I thought “your missing socks” was going to tell us which trolls were socks of which older trolls. This is even better! Stay paranoid, misters.
OOh, cassandrakitty; that’s even better. The time I save on looking after my underwear/buying replacements for bras past their best-before date will give me so much time for plotting.
…damn. I am one of those shameless sock stealers. It’s always been a problem. I hoard them like woolly, woolly gold. For a long time I couldn’t understand why I would engage in such bizarre sock-specific behaviour – who knew it was a form of silent protest programmed by the feminist hive-mind.
Dryers are so misandrous! That’s where tumblr’s name came from. Obviously.
I have good news and bad news for our friendly subredditor.
If his socks are going missing, then he might, just might mind you, be the Prince of Wales.
That’s it. That’s both the good news and the bad news. Because if he’s the Prince of Wales, he’s this Prince of Wales: