Reddit, what the hell is your problem?
So last night I discovered the PunchableFaces subreddit. That’s right, an entire subreddit devoted to posting pictures of people so that Redditors can fantasize about doing them bodily harm.
While most of the pictures in the subreddit are of boys and men – some targeted for being “faggots” – the recent posts (as of this writing) with the greatest number of upvotes and comments were, naturally, aimed at women. Specifically, at two outspoken feminists who’ve been singled out by Men’s Rights Activists and #GamerGaters for endless harassment: video game critic Anita Sarkeesian and Canadian feminist activist Chanty Binx, perhaps better known amongst her enemies as “Big Red.”
Here are five of the worst comments I’ve run across in the, er, discussions about these women.
Needless to say, TRIGGER WARNING for explicit threats of violence and rape.
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.
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1) This rapey comment about Anita Sarkeesian:
2) This comment about Sarkeesian with more than two dozen upvotes:
3) This comment about Chanty Binx:
4) This other comment about Chanty Binx:
5) And this other other comment about her:
BONUS: Three comments about much-maligned game designer Zoe Quinn, the subject of another post on the PunchableFaces subreddit:
![fuckyourteam 2 points 2 hours ago Wtf is this cunt looking at? permalink save report give gold reply [–]edu_gon95 [S] 5 points 2 hours ago Hopefully an incoming fist permalink save parent report give gold reply [–]ovenbutt 2 points 2 hours ago I want to pretend it's a fist coming straight for her face.](https://i0.wp.com/www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/quinncomments.png?ssl=1)
One more BONUS Zoe Quinn comment:
Oh, and as an ADDED BONUS, here’s another terrible comment, this one directed at a gay teen boy whose picture is the third-most upvoted one on the subreddit as of this writing.
Why exactly is Reddit providing a forum for hate speech and explicit violent threats directed at, among others, gay teenagers and women who are already the regular targets of widespread harassment and threats?
H/T: r/againstmensrights
LBT, I wondered if not having many friends there might be influencing you to hope this guy isn’t a creeper, but to me he’s sending out all the wrong messages for that. People who want to be friends don’t do cold approaches and tell you you’re beautiful. This guy wants sex.
I wouldn’t bother mentioning that you’re not feeling good today, or not good company, or anything. He’s already demonstrated he’s choosing to read soft(ish) Noes as opportunities to try again later.
There’s probably a reason for that. Predators sometimes look for people who seem vulnerable, after all. How many people here have mentioned that they never got sexually harassed out in public until some day when they were depressed or otherwise off their game?
Maybe it’s coincidence, but the fact is that you have a lot of experience with predators and clearly something seemed off to you. Trust YOU.
Change “thinks” to “hopes” and I agree with your room mate. Creepy dude sounds creepy. Also, why do they always show up when one is stressed? Is it creepdar if creeps use it to creep with?
*sigh* Yeah, part of the reason I was asking is because I know my brain is more vulnerable right now than it would be usually, due to all this repressed memory, Kid crap.
Even though I know this isn’t why they keep coming after me, sometimes I wish this vessel weren’t so goddamn pretty. Seriously. LEAVE ME ALONE, creepy sexually frustrated dudes! I do not want to bang you! I will never want to bang you!
At least I’m not afraid of this guy. I would just really rather being approached like a normal human. It’s not even that hard! See: the Walgreen’s security guard, where we complimented each other on our Green Lantern accessories and moved on with our lives.
Ehnnngh. Damned if I liked Boston’s rent, but I kind of miss having the social network I had there.
LBT, the fact that you’re asking means you probably already know the answer on some level (you’ve read “The Gift of Fear”, right?). Even if his intentions were good, he’s going about it in a way that’s setting off alarm bells, so the best you can say is that he doesn’t know where people’s boundaries are (which IMO is only marginally better than ignoring them, especially given your history).
Also: I’ve known people of various genders who would try to be friends with a random stranger for perfectly innocent reasons (god, I miss Vermont), but (1)trying a second time and (2) doing something as obvious as a U-turn don’t strike me as whimsical, spur-of-the-moment friendship behaviors – especially from a man (oops misandry) and aimed at someone he apparently thinks is a woman (going from the “beautiful” thing).
I get it: you don’t want to tell him to piss off if he’s just being nice. You don’t want to be mean to an innocent person. That’s how I feel in situations like this. But I’ll tell you what I always try to tell myself in this sort of situation: you have a right to prioritize your own feelings over his.
I, for one, am sorry we didn’t get to hang out before you left.
Have you tried MeetUp or something? Or maybe join a hiking club? Volunteering somewhere? I don’t remember what your limitations are as far as your disability; I know it’s hard to meet people when you can’t spare the spoons to even go out.
Very sorry to hear that, LBT! 🙁
Hope the social network gets better. Of, course, that’s not much, coming from me. I moved to where I am now 3 years ago, and the only people I’ve met outside work were my kids’ friends’ parents and some unfortunate weirdos (not good weirdos, either, scary ones). I’ve kind of given up on socialising, at least for now.
Still, a co-worker invited me to her temple for dharma talk! We’re not the same school of Buddhist, but I’m lonely…
Yeah, LBT, the request for coffee, the “platonic only” protestations, and the compliments are DEFINITELY signs that he’s hitting on you. The fact that he’s been approaching you while you’re walking and he’s in a moving vehicle adds an especially creepy dimension to it for me, especially with making the u-turn so that he could talk to you in a parking lot. So does the fact that he kept asking you for coffee and complimenting after you told him that you were in a bad way mentally and weren’t up for it. He probably got that you weren’t into it then but thought that if he persisted long enough, you’d eventually give in. Add in that he’s just plain making you feel uncomfortable, and it seems like the best choice is to prioritize your feelings and do what makes you feel safest and most comfortable.
Also, I hope that you meet more nice people like the security guard who gave you a non-creepy, non-hitting-on-you comment.
RE: emilygoddess
Have you tried MeetUp or something?
I have, but with very little success. It doesn’t help that this is an area heavily car-dominated, so a lot of the events I just CAN NOT make. Right now, we have Mac’s church, our two roommates, and one other woman. Plus we know a few folks in the neighborhood through exposure. I’ve also tried the local trans groups, but feel kinda like a freak there; church events seem to go better.
This isn’t to say we’re doing that bad! I mean, we do have events we go to (Miranda does tai chi, Mac does church events, we joined a gym this week), it’s just that god fucking dammit, everywhere I go there are creepers, and invariably they catch us alone. It’s why I ended up joining the gym, actually; at least if we get creeped on in the gym, I can report them to management.
And yeah, with the sheer amount of crap I’ve lived through, I figure I’ll survive having one fewer possible friend, if he’s innocent.
RE: alaisvex
So does the fact that he kept asking you for coffee and complimenting after you told him that you were in a bad way mentally and weren’t up for it.
In fairness to him, I didn’t tell him the first time. The second time, when I said I was in a bad way, he immediately said, “Hope your day gets better,” and let me go about my business with no further interference. At least he sounded like he honestly hoped I’d feel better, even if he IS trying to get just get into my pants.
(And I am still not sure what gender he perceives me as. The beautiful implies female, but… I really, REALLY do not know. Perversely, that he’s being this easy to deal with makes me wonder if he’s reading me as a total twink.)
Xanith,
They’re probably thinking of people who say the same thing as Watson while being less conventionally beautiful. Sigh.
LBT, no advice here, but good vibes and hugs if you want them.
Bah, wordpress, STOP CHANGING MY NYM just because some dwerk took it over x amount of years ago.
Ta.
@ Shaenon – SQUEEEEEE!!!!! BAYBAY!!!!!
Er, that is ::clears throat:: you, madam, do good work. Carry on!
Oh, oh, but in nicer news, I actually really look forward to the gym I joined opening its doors! (It’s currently still in the process of being built.) Hubby’s a total gym rat, and I really look forward to working out with him again. Even better, this gym markets itself as a “judgment free zone” and even has a “Lunk Alarm” for those annoying jerks who act like circus strongmen and turn their bicep curls into a fucking gruntfest.
Sure, it’s half an hour walk away, but fuck it, the YMCA was charging me almost four times as much (and that was the discounted rate, requiring me give a stack of paperwork and my firstborn) and NOBODY WILL HIT ON ME THERE.
Well, except hubby. But he’s allowed. (Why else would I be interested in getting all sweaty and worked up with him?)
Sounds great, LBT. Maybe I’ll try to talk MrGrump into joining a gym with me, cause that sounds like an awesome idea!
RE: grumpyoldnurse
My belief about gyms is that if you’re with someone who’s fun to exercise with, it can be a blast! The company makes all the difference in the world. (Also, I should just never exercise alone, because ED. I WILL go way overboard.) And even I can afford this gym, which is really nice. (It’s only $10 a month! Yay!)
Ooh! That gym deal sounds nice. It might be a good place to make non-creepy friends too.
Oh man reading that made me squee so much. That sounds wonderful! I started uni, and it means I get up at 5 am to catch the train at 7 because that way I have time to do 45 minutes in the gym and so far it’s been great fun for these last 3 weeks, but mein gutt in himmel, the people who at the gym at 6 am in the morning (of which I guess I am now one) grunt and groan and grunt and it’s so hilarious. If I close my eyes it’s as if I’m actually in a bad german porn! The smell, the sweat, the grunting, the obsession with bars and size…
Sounds great fun LBT, I hope you have a blast and the best of it 🙂
Hope the gym goes well!
Lunk Alarm is the best term.
I thought that the “lunk alarm” was for when somebody dropped their weights really loudly?
I may be late to the game, but hey.
LBT, there’s no reason a guy can’t be a creeper AND have bad timing simultaneously…although, by the sounds of things, his timing is “good” by creeper standards, because he caught you right in the middle of a massive freakout, when you were mentally and probably physically vulnerable as well. These guys do seem to like picking on vulnerable people; I’ve noticed that I get far fewer of them as I’ve grown more confident, or at least been able to fake it better. When I was a shy kid who had trouble looking up and into people’s eyes, I got droves of them. I now realize that was no coincidence. It’s undoubtedly why PUAs gravitate to young insecure girls (preferably pretty), and why MRAs proclaim the most “abusable” types of women to be their ideals. Creepy is as creepy does. You’re right to avoid him. And if it helps to get rid of him permanently, feel free to get rude — you don’t owe him politeness. After all, he keeps insisting on intruding when you’re having a rotten time of it…
And now, having said that, some brain bleach for all who need it:
Maybe the lunk alarm is dropping weights on someone being a lunk?
… works for me.
Having a hard time making friends in a new place sucks, but think of it this way – do you really want a friend who’s going to keep trying to get into your pants in a sneaky, passive-aggressive way and who has potential stalker tendencies? No, you do not.
Oh, I missed that. No wonder everything felt out of sync.
I think Cassandrakitty sums it up well – you can always “Well, maybe it’s just bad timing…” but on the other hand – twice? Like so? And offering straight from the get-go “This is strictly platonic?”
If I’ve learned one thing it’s that people who lead with the promise of platonic performance panders personally to a propensity for promulgating and propagate a perverse perfidious perfunctory practice of proffering their persistent, pertinent permanent attempts at ploughing you.
LBT: congrats on the gym! I joined the kickboxing gym, and it’s a blast. A lot of my friends go, so there’s good peer pressure to show up, and everyone there is really chill. No Cross Fit type gung-ho evangelizing or Rambos. You and the hubby will have a great time.