Categories
#gamergate a voice for men advocacy of violence are these guys 12 years old? attention seeking Dean Esmay drama kings entitled babies evil SJWs evil women gamebros grandiosity men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny MRA no games for girls no girls allowed none dare call it conspiracy oppressed men playing the victim post contains jokes post contains sarcasm reddit

Men’s Rightsers take up arms against the vidya game destroyers. And Kroger supermarkets. Never give up! Never surrender!

This gif makes a lot more sense if you've seen Galaxy Quest
This gif makes a lot more sense if you’ve seen Galaxy Quest

#GamerGate and Men’s Rights: two terrible tastes that taste terribler together.

Ok, maybe that slogan needs a bit of work. But it’s true that when you combine the poor-oppressed-me-we-hate-AnitaZoe-Sarquinneesian narrative of the #GamerGaters with the poor-oppressed-me-feminazis-rule-the-world narrative of the Men’s Righsters you get some amazing outbursts of indignant self-dramatizing self-pity.

Take, for example, this melodramatic email sent by A Voice for Men’s “operations manager” Dean Esmay to … a grocery chain that advertises on the game site Kotaku, a bete noire of the #GamerGate movement. I’ve highlighted some of the Esmay-ist bits:

Greetings. I have been a Kroger customer, with a Kroger value card* me and my family use, for about 20 years. I have been grossly offended by the insults by Kotaku to me and my son, who have played video games together since he was about 3 years old (he’ll be an adult soon). Kotaku has been spreading hateful messages about people like me and my son and has been involved in what looks like blatant journalistic corruption. Please stop supporting this hateful publication with your advertising. If you do not, I will look to shop exclusively at your competitors in my area, including Meier, Bush’s, and Hiller’s.

Stop Kotaku’s abuse of my family. Thank you.

That’s right, Esmay thinks Kotaku is literally ABUSING his son, and the rest of his family to boot, by spreading “hateful messages” about gamers.

What sort of terrible hatred does Kotaku promote? Consider these ABUSIVE quotes from the site’s Editor in Chief:

I’m the editor-in-chief of a large gaming site with millions of readers. I consider myself a reporter. How else do I define myself? I’m a gamer. I don’t mind the term. If you do, that doesn’t bother me. I’m confident in who I am. If you’re a gamer who harasses? Who sends rape threats or stalks Twitter feeds or terrorizes people from their home or gloats at others’ struggles? Find a new hobby. If you’re a gamer who wants better games reporting? Be specific about what you dislike. Please seek, support and celebrate those whose work you do like. …

Gaming is better when it’s diverse, when it lets marginalized people find their creative voice or their escapist outlet or a social circle that welcomes them.

What a disgusting hatemonger!

Oh, but that’s just the tip of the iceberg! Consider this list of the most popular stories now up on Kotaku:

Popular stories Behold, Final Fantasy XV's First Live Gameplay Footage A Guide To Obtaining And Upgrading Legendary Gear In Destiny First Details about the Final Fantasy XV Demo Player's Secret Weapon In Destiny's Multiplayer Is...Sitting Wow, People Are Still Coming Up With Wild Silent Hills Theories Some of the Tokyo Game Show's Best Cosplay ​How To Trick Destiny Into Helping You Farm Tons Of Loot
Kotaku: Pure antimale evil

Live game footage of Final FantasyXV? Gameplay tips!? Pictures of Japanese people dressed up like video game characters!?!!

It’s as if the site were literally run by FEMINIST HITLER.

But all hope is not lost! Over on the Men’s Rights subreddit one angry and ever-so-slightly melodramatic gamer tries to rally the troops:

A message to those bravely standing up for video games in the unending face of Feminist oppression: DON'T GIVE UP. DON'T SURRENDER. (self.MensRights)  submitted 18 hours ago by fingerjesus  I've been watching this whole saga for a while now. I've done my best to participate; alerting you guys to the SJW journalists who should be driven out of our culture. All I have to say is this: DON'T GIVE UP.  Yes things may look bleak, the SJWs are still thriving and their lies still permeate every pore of our hobby. But remember this - it can't last. Sooner or later we're going to reach breaking point and we will emerge victorious, the SJWs will be sent running back to their Tumblr dwellings and video games will be free again.  I've seen a lot of you asking "What does this have to do with men's rights"? The answer is EVERYTHING. Have you not noticed? GAMER is a proxy word for MEN. They want to eradicate GAMER culture? Yeah, guess who that really means. Tthe SJws won't be happy until male culture as we know it has vanished, cosigned to the aether like a memory or a fleeting moment of 'what could have been'.  DON'T GIVE UP, WE CAN WIN THIS WAR.
FORWARD MARCH!

Sorry, I got a little carried away with the highlighter there, but almost everything he wrote is pure gold. If by “pure gold” you mean “the most ludicrous pile of crap I’ve seen in a long time, and I’m someone who reads Men’s Rights sites pretty much every day.”

H/T: Mancheeze, r/againstmensrights

NOTE: Just in case anyone missed it, this post contains

SARCASM

 

Well, sarcasm from me. I’m pretty sure those other dudes are serious.

Subscribe
Notify of
guest

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

89 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Michael McG
Michael McG
6 years ago

Isn’t SJW just the new PC of the 21st century?

In other words, aren’t the primary users of the term SJW the ones who are least likely to be concerned about social justice just the primary–if not exclusive users–of the term PC other ones least concerned with being politically correct?

jojo
jojo
6 years ago

@michael MgM

It is. The same kind of people that whine about SJW are the same ones that throw a fit over anything they perceive to be PC. Hell just the mention of sexual abuse is enough to piss them off

Cassie's Major Domo
Cassie's Major Domo
6 years ago

“SJW” appears to be replacing the old saw “PC Police.” They seem to be used the same way. Strangely, it’s a much less effective insult.

JM
JM
6 years ago

It seems as well those who are applying the most criteria to the word “gamer” (You have to be playing the right games, for at least as long per day as me, if not more, you need to have it as a core part of your identity, more important than friends and family, you need to play everything in multiplayer) are the same people who are accepting Hoff-Summers as a feminist “because she says she is one”

Meanwhile, I can be confident that my wife, who plays electronic games ever day, averaging at least an hour per day, will far less likely to be considered a gamer than me, who may play a game every now and then because:

1) She plays on an ipad and sticks to one game repeatedly until she tires of it, and I play on consoles and computers and ipad
2) She plays the wrong “sort” of games (Puzzles, plants vs zombies, ipad games) whereas I play a variety of games including shooters
3) She is a woman, I am a man.

Of course, neither of us would call ourselves gamers. We wouldn’t call ourselves Whovians, and we spend much more of our attention and time on Doctor Who than we ever have games.

respectorcist
respectorcist
6 years ago

Hello folks. Shut up, Woody.

Just a lurker here dropping in a side-comment about the lineup of the new Final Fantasy game. As other folks have pointed out, characters that might appear as racially white in J-RPGs are usually designed that way because Japanese people look largely homogenous and sometimes it just doesn’t make characters easy to tell apart. The practice itself has a name in Japanese, mukokuseki, which translates literally to “stateless” or “without nationality.”

That aside, I do agree that the newest Final Fantasy is a step down in terms of diversity because of both the mukokuseki and the gender imbalance. Previous major titles, FFXIII, included characters that were very clearly coded as very young, middle aged, black (not just dark-skinned but black) and dark-skinned. The new group looks like a bunch of tall, pale-skinned dudes in their mid-20s.

This has been stressing me out for months now, I’m a huge FF fan.

lacerta viridis
lacerta viridis
6 years ago

@Michael McG & jojo – yep. “Oooh, the SJWs will kill me for this…” is the new “It’s not very politically correct to say this, but…”

I actually kind of resent being referred to as an SJW; I have some issues with the social justice movement, especially the online variety, so it kind of bugs me a little. But fuck it, between social justice activists and these assholes, I’d rather throw my lot in with the SJWs every time.

Elektra Kenway
6 years ago

All this goes hand with hand with the misogynist “gamer” idea: “they’re taking away our videogames!”. This is what two sides of the same coin looks like.

And by “this” I mean their ideas of a feminist conspiracy and “gamer” starting to be a bad word, mainly because of those types of gamers that think women are evil and must be stopped from… wanting to be respected as equal human beings and be represented better. Wow.
Dan Golding wrote on his Tumblr an article called “The End of Gamers” that nails this exact point really well: http://dangolding.tumblr.com/post/95985875943/the-end-of-gamers

The Editor in Chief of Games.On.Net also released a statement recently (http://games.on.net/2014/08/readers-threatened-by-equality-not-welcome/) and defined himself as a Social Justice Druid on his signature (nice touch if you ask me!). Right now, the whole staff has zero tolerance for any kind of misogyny and doesn’t allow any discussions about it (and I don’t even feel sorry for the trolls).

So far, I feel the industry has become a bit more supportive… but will they show it in their products? Or will they simply go for what they’ve always done?

Will they recognize their huge responsibility on this? Expressing the will to change is great, sure, but look at everything you’ve done…

Did it have to come this far for them (both industry and videogame journalists) to realize that the female representation in videogames has always generally been very poor and did nothing but cultivate misogyny on male players for decades? None of this is an “accident”.

Did a woman have to get threats or even “revenge porn” for them to admit they have to change?

Better late than never, sure, but it’s still late. Misogynist “gamers” are a moster created by the industry itself.
Rather than supporting, the industry must take responsibility of what they’ve done and do something to attempt to fix it.

andiexist
andiexist
6 years ago

So… gamer culture is the same thing as male culture? All men are gamers? All men have the same culture?

Is gamer a nationality now? I’d be excited, but I’m not allowed. Because, well, I’m made of boobs and vaginas and rainbows and angry evil womanhood.

…I am a sex unicorn.

Bina
Bina
6 years ago

Also, ‘politely commenting that sending rape threats isn’t very nice’ is the most, er, interesting definition of ‘abuse’ I’ve ever heard.

Oh, but of course! It infringes on their “rights” to violate women. Or threaten to do so anyway, which is Totally Not Nearly As Bad.

strivingally
6 years ago

These people get closer to Michelle Bachmann level every damn day

Nah, for my money they’re heading towards Glenn Beck territory.
Inability to point to specific things that piss them off, but a hell of a lot of insinuation and innuendo? Check!
Playing on the deep-seated prejudices and resentment of reactionaries towards inclusiveness? Check!
Chalking up the large numbers of disinterested people who disagree with you to a vast, shadowy conspiracy theory, instead of the fact that your claims are superficially ludicrous? Check!

As I said on Twitter, all they need is a chalkboard and a FOX timeslot to complete the journey. 😀

Zolnier
Zolnier
6 years ago

@Tessa

Well I was playing Mass Effect 3 so maybe it was for the best,

Headless Unicorn Guy
Headless Unicorn Guy
6 years ago

Is gamer a nationality now? I’d be excited, but I’m not allowed. Because, well, I’m made of boobs and vaginas and rainbows and angry evil womanhood.

…I am a sex unicorn.

You’re paying for my brain bleach after that one, AndIExist.
That sounds like a line from a truly awful MLP clopfic.

Thing is, I’m a gamer. From when “gamer” meant paper, pencil, funny dice, graph-paper dungeons stocked from Monster Manual random-rolls, and calling in pizza missions at 2 Ayem. Back when gaming was almost exclusively geeky white boyz like me, with three little books plus Greyhawk.

And we had a lot of a-hole gamer types back then who were “No Gurlz Allowed”. Including urban-legend horror stories of what happened to the first girl gamers when they started trickling into otherwise all-guy gaming groups. Didn’t happen in my regular group (but then, to us being gamers trumped being male or female — common interest), but when you introduce a female gamer to an all-male group who have never interacted with a RL female, a lot of dumb and clueless things can happen. But these guys are beyond dumb and clueless to flat-out hostile.

Ruby
Ruby
6 years ago

What I find so ridiculous is the fact that these guys act as though women playing/creating games is a new thing. I’m 3-freaking-6 years old. I’ve been gaming since the Atari 2600. I OWNED a copy of the ET game – yeah, that same one that most of those putzes only got to read about being discovered in a landfill in whereverthehell.

I’ve been a part of gaming allllll this time. Just because they didn’t want to recognize that or acknowledge my existence or the fact that I was right there, the entire time, playing in the WoW beta, playing in the Guild Wars beta, playing in the City of Heroes beta — that’s not my damn problem. They were the ones living in their own happy little penis-centric, he-man girl-gamer-haters club while I was over here, doing my own thing and having fun.

Their obliviousness is nobody’s fault but their own. Save the qq for somebody who gives a crap.

Zolnier
Zolnier
6 years ago

A sex unicorn sounds like the height of irony.

Phoenician in a time of Romans
Phoenician in a time of Romans
6 years ago

A sex unicorn sounds like the height of irony.

Robot Chicken did it already.

deutschefolkhero
deutschefolkhero
6 years ago

>>“weekend warriors” concept, i.e. people who only show up when the real world doesn’t require them and don’t live the lifestyle, as it were. A sarcastic term for parasites, basically.

well, if you recall, they did kinda adopt that eventually. There’s even a few rock songs about it.

>>That sounds like a line from a truly awful MLP clopfic.
Hey, I’d be down for reading it, or at least the Fanfiction Friday reprint.

>>even though she’s played dozens if not hundreds of games.
[citation needed, and not John McIntosh’s stock photos]

also we know exactly what Milo is doing. He’s trying to leap off this and restart the Kernel. And if he has to travel the same path to get there, well, more power to the guy I guess.
Also he seems to have purchased his own boytoy along the way, heheh.

M. the Social Justice Ranger
M. the Social Justice Ranger
6 years ago

I haven’t been gaming for quite as long as some of the other women here, but I first picked up a keyboard in 1989 and a controller in 1990, so it’s certainly been a while. Sure, I prefer single-player to multiplayer, Nintendo to PlayStation or Xbox and platformers, RPGs, pet sims and puzzle games to shooters, but I do consider my hobby to be a large part of my identity, so other gamers are usually (not always, but usually) willing to count me as one of their own…

… Until they discover that not only have I committed the cardinal sin of being born with a vagina, but I’m only interested in others who’ve committed the same sin. Then all of that flies out the window for rape threat after rape threat after rape threat.

Sigh.

I don’t want to destroy their hobby, I just want to enjoy our shared hobby…

Misha
Misha
6 years ago

Welcome respectorcist, have a welcome package 

That’s really interesting re: the practice of mukokuseki. I didn’t realise it but I’d just been assuming that Japanese game developers/character designers were simply trying to appeal to an increasing western market, and/or were being influenced by the current popularity of western culture within Japan itself. I’m going to have a read.

But I’m sure I wouldn’t count as a gamer to these guys because, I don’t know, even though I play a lot of shooters I often play on the easy setting, and I don’t play multiplayer 

For a long time I didn’t think of myself as someone who even ‘played games’, because I only liked RPGs and hidden object point-and-clicks, not ‘real’ games like Far Cry or Call of Duty or Halo. Never mind that each of my save files are in excess of 150 hours, or that I spend a stupid amount of time on forums just to get that 100% completion.

M. the Social Justice Ranger
M. the Social Justice Ranger
6 years ago

David: Oh, absolutely! Feel free to use my name or use it anonymously, it’s all the same to me. =)

Misha
Misha
6 years ago

Awesome! Go for it, very happy to be quoted on here, name and all 😀

Buttercup Q. Skullpants

I’ve been gaming since the days of Pong, ELIZA, Merlin, Space Invaders, and Pac Man. Back then it was something both boys and girls did after school. It wasn’t seen as nerdy – in fact, the arcades were where the delinquent kids hung out.

It seems like today’s crop of misogynist gamers have their core identity way too wrapped up in being the coveted marketing demographic. They want to be pandered to and flattered with hypermasculine characters and alpha storylines.

It’s kind of hilarious that they’re treating this whole thing like it’s a RL video game, complete with black ops, sockpuppeting “missions”, evil shadowy enemies, rallying cries of threats to individual liberty, and an anything-goes mentality of inflicting maximum damage on opponents. Except the consequences of stalking and harassment are real, and permanent. In their imaginations they’re a group of beleaguered rebels taking a brave stand for freedom, but they’re actually the bad guys. They’re fighting against social justice and ruining a lot of people’s lives in the process.

It’s just a hobby, fercrissakes. I can’t imagine, say, model railroad enthusiasts getting all bent out of shape about more people taking up their hobby, and embarking on a hate campaign to define it as for old people ONLY. These guys really need to grow up and get some perspective.

andiexist
andiexist
6 years ago

@David Futrelle

I don’t mind at all! And sure, you can stick my nym on it!

Not my human identity, though. The one I use to buy my cat food. 😉

(We’re all cats, right? I think I heard ferrets at one point…)

Chie Satonaka
Chie Satonaka
6 years ago

I’ve been gaming since the days of Pong, ELIZA, Merlin, Space Invaders, and Pac Man. Back then it was something both boys and girls did after school. It wasn’t seen as nerdy – in fact, the arcades were where the delinquent kids hung out.

Exactly, Buttercup! Many of us have been gaming longer than most of these hatemongers have been alive. I also grew up in the arcades, playing Centipede, Pac Man, and later Duck Hunt. There was also a Simpsons game later on that I loved. My first console was a Colecovision, with Burger Time and QBert being my favorite games. I’ve been gaming for over thirty years. And the funniest thing is how they try to define us out by claiming we don’t play “real” video games, when the first video games were as “casual” and low tech as any social media game you can name.

Tessa
6 years ago

Ruby:

What I find so ridiculous is the fact that these guys act as though women playing/creating games is a new thing. I’m 3-freaking-6 years old. I’ve been gaming since the Atari 2600. I OWNED a copy of the ET game – yeah, that same one that most of those putzes only got to read about being discovered in a landfill in whereverthehell.

I had the E.T. game when I was a kid, too. My older sister actually beat it (she still plays video games today). I had a subscription to Nintendo Power. I subscribed to EGM during the SNES-Genesis “console war”. I STILL Have some old copies I look at for nostalgia (and I’m kinda a packrat).

I’m 35 and have been playing video games for as long as I can remember. It sucks that we have to bring out our “gamer cred” to prove we are gamers, but they get cred just for being a guy.
Chie Satonaka:

There was also a Simpsons game later on that I loved.

Me too, I spent so many tokens every Saturday on that game.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants

Colecovision! I’d nearly forgotten about that, Chie. Back in high school we (male + female friends) used to hang out at this one girl’s house and play Qbert and Donkey Kong. Graphics were so primitive that nobody identified much with the central characters. There was no larger social agenda, no gender roles. Just simple hand-eye coordination challenges featuring inanimate shapes and colorful, cute critters. It seems like the dudebros started to take over around the time VGA and PC games gained market share in the early ’90s, and the graphics and storylines started to get more realistic.

“Leisure Suit Larry” is the first game I remember being totally repelled by – not just by the horrible PUA content, but because it was so divisive, and explicitly designed to make women feel uncomfortable and excluded from the gaming party. I certainly didn’t want to hang around the den and watch my brother’s girlfriend’s brother (and his friends) playing it. It didn’t make any sense that game designers would deliberately halve their profits by alienating/degrading a huge swath of their potential customers. But then again, segregation never made any economic sense either.

At any rate, there was at least a 20 year period in the beginning where gaming was for everyone. It would be nice to see a return to that golden age.

David – absolutely, feel free to quote!

vaiyt
6 years ago

What I find so ridiculous is the fact that these guys act as though women playing/creating games is a new thing.

It’s no surprise. Dudebros lack any and all sense of historical perspective. How things are today from their point of view is how it’s always been for everyone, everywhere.

Skye
Skye
6 years ago

I’ve always played games too; obscure board/card games, D&D, and video games.

I’m going to misspell this horribly, but one of the first video games I played was called Hunt the Wompus. Very early graphics, mostly stick figures. The goal was to figure out where the monster was and kill it with an arrow before it got you. (The monster was invisible until you shot it or got eaten). Nothing was gendered.

I still have my original NES, which I still break out occasionally to play Final Fantasy.

I have a 3DS and play PC games.

I’ve always been here (girl cooties and all).

Chie Satonaka
Chie Satonaka
6 years ago

I also remember playing this text-based D&D RPG on my cousin’s computer waaaaay back in the days of DOS. Green text on the screen, and it described what you were seeing and what your options were. And the first game I ever beat was Final Fantasy II on the original Gameboy — never had enough money to play the arcade games all the way through. I still remember that feeling of triumph. Good times!

Lurker
Lurker
6 years ago

Kotaku is the website that was totally fine to let their commenters bully one of their writers on every single one of her posts to the point that she started drinking so much she almost became an alcoholic. People were pulling pictures from her personal webspaces and posted them in comments to make the perfectly eloquent point of “lol, she so ugly!”.
This went on for months and no one – including the editor-in-chief – stepped in and told them to knock it off.
Compare that to his response just mere days after one of his male writers was named in the Zoe Quinn “scandal”, despite the fact that almost none of the assholes actually went after the writer and instead focused on Zoe.
This whole thing apparently was merrily going on until the point that she started missing deadlines on turning in her articles at which point the editor-in-chief finally went to her and asked what’s up and got her to go on a hiatius for a few weeks.
She made a post on Kotaku about it later and apparently once they did realize just how badly it was affecting her, they did try to get her help, but even then there was no official “Guys, just fucking stop it already” from the people in charge. And in that very post commenters were already starting up again about how she totally deserved it though, essentially for writing articles about games and the industry maybe not being all that cool with women just yet.

I wasn’t really too surprised that it happened though, Kotaku is part of the Gawker network after all. And we all know that Gawker was just fine letting their almost exclusively female writers on Jezebel (and the readers if the mods didn’t catch it in time) deal with thousands of graphic pictures of brutal rape and real corpses every single day.
They only stepped in once Jezebel called them out in public and other Gawker sites (Kotaku being one of the primary targets) started getting spammed with pictures of gay porn.
Cause clearly making women look at other women being raped and murdered is a-okay, but gamer-dudes having to look at pictures of two dudes fucking? The most horrible thing that you could subject a person (read: man) to!

I actually do read Kotaku every day, partly for the news and partly for my daily dose guys just being soooooo boo-boo sad that women aren’t shutting up already, but the Kotaku comment sections isn’t really known in the online world as being filled with horrible people cause they’re all just so damn feminist-y (totally a word that exists).
To look at Kotaku and see a website that is totally oppressing the menz is just so mindboggling, it makes me want to ask these guys just what reality they are living in.

vaiyt
6 years ago

the Kotaku comment sections isn’t really known in the online world as being filled with horrible people

Which I always found boggling; I have been driven away from the site by the immaturity of the editors and the commenters long ago.

Michelle C Young
6 years ago

My mind is boggled at this. Thanks, David!

Michelle C Young
6 years ago

@JM

It seems as well those who are applying the most criteria to the word “gamer” (You have to be playing the right games, for at least as long per day as me, if not more, you need to have it as a core part of your identity, more important than friends and family, you need to play everything in multiplayer) are the same people who are accepting Hoff-Summers as a feminist “because she says she is one”

And I just have to share with you a picture I have. I don’t even remember where I found it (pity – I’d give credit, if I could). I think it might have been from Comically Vintage, which David links on this site.
comment image?dl=0

Ummm, I hope that works.

I call it “Feminist-Man.” You’ll note, it is a comic strip panel. I imagine that “Feminist-Man” is the sort of “hero” we wind up loving to hate, and his competent assistant, “Secretary Woman,” is the lovable and effective side-kick who actually accomplishes all the Social Justice Warrioring, without getting any of the credit. Sort of like the old Bruce Lee version of “Green Hornet.”

“Good work, Cato! Now that you’ve taken down a dozen of these bad guys, untie me so that I can punch out that last one, and take aaaalllll the credit.”

Michelle C Young
6 years ago

@Headless Unicorn Guy

Thing is, I’m a gamer. From when “gamer” meant paper, pencil, funny dice, graph-paper dungeons stocked from Monster Manual random-rolls, and calling in pizza missions at 2 Ayem. Back when gaming was almost exclusively geeky white boyz like me, with three little books plus Greyhawk.

And we had a lot of a-hole gamer types back then who were “No Gurlz Allowed”. Including urban-legend horror stories of what happened to the first girl gamers when they started trickling into otherwise all-guy gaming groups. Didn’t happen in my regular group (but then, to us being gamers trumped being male or female — common interest), but when you introduce a female gamer to an all-male group who have never interacted with a RL female, a lot of dumb and clueless things can happen. But these guys are beyond dumb and clueless to flat-out hostile.

I was part of that “males-only” table-top gaming group. Not that they ever said they’d refuse to allow a woman to play. I was simply the only woman there. And my big brother was the Game Master. No one DARED to insult me, or insinuate that I had no place there. Nope. Big Bro was protective of me, and anyone who was mean to me would PAAAYYYYY! Seriously, my bro is the kind of “smiling game master” you never want to trust, and if he wants you to suffer, he’ll keep healing you juuuuuusst enough to make your torture last a long, loooong time.

Golly, but Iove him!

However, at first, it did not occur to me that they ever thought of me as anything other than “one of the guys.” I guess they all had sense enough to behave from the get-go. It was only that night we were out late, and he insisted that the whole group walk me back to my dorm, that I realized I really was getting some special treatment. See, big bro smiling Game Master smiled at me, too.

As long as everyone treated me as just “one of the guys,” it was all cool, though. My Bro insisted on everyone behaving politely to everyone in the group, regardless. Clean language, no insults (except the clearly playful kind), and if anyone’s feelings were hurt, then we had to resolve the issue. Basically, if the other person isn’t enjoying it, you have to stop. They never had a chance get sexist at me.

So, really, the walking home thing was the only difference. And the only reason he asked them all to join was because we weren’t done with a particularly interesting discussion, and he didn’t want to miss it, while he walked me home.

Yes, he always insisted on walking me home. I was glad of it, because this was during my “Can’t stand to be touched – still traumatized and scared” period, so it didn’t feel paternalistic or patronizing, at all. It felt like he was loving me, when I needed it most, acknowledging my fears as real, and helping me get through them until I didn’t feel so darned vulnerable all the time.

He’s also the one who taught me how to defend myself, for when I needed to go out by myself, and it’s thanks to his training that I was able to go out and about alone, at night, when my roommates were huddled in the dorm, because there was a known rapist (escaped convict) sighted in our area. He taught me how to feel confident and safe. He taught me to take precautions, and be prepared, and not be afraid. But also, if those precautions failed, and the monster attacked, he’d never blame me. He’d blame the monster.

He frequently told the guys, though, that it was very valuable having a woman in the group, because I tended to look at things from a different perspective than they did. In other words, I saw the traps they didn’t, and they saw the traps I didn’t, and we complemented each other quite nicely.

That was when I decided that “Gamer” meant “geniunely good, nice, and kind person, with whom I could feel safe and trusting.” The first man I trusted, outside my family, after high school was one of those gamers. Since then, I LIKED gamers. Way to stereotype, I know, but I was young, and had really good experiences with the gamers, and thought they were representative of the community.

#&T%*#(#$& this stupid #GamerGate business, and them showing themselves to be such jerks. I don’t think so highly of “gamers,” now. They have usurped the term, in my mind. Although those fellows I used to game with? Still great guys.

I can only hope that the “Gamers” are just the vocal minority of the gaming community, and that most people who game are still those genuinely good, nice, kind people I loved.

TL;DR: #GamerGate has ruined “Gamers” for me, and made me ashamed to call myself a Gamer.

Michelle C Young
6 years ago

@Ruby

I’m 3-freaking-6 years old. I’ve been gaming since the Atari 2600. I OWNED a copy of the ET game – yeah, that same one that most of those putzes only got to read about being discovered in a landfill in whereverthehell.

I have one word for you: Asteroids.

Michelle C Young
6 years ago

@BQS

I can’t imagine, say, model railroad enthusiasts getting all bent out of shape about more people taking up their hobby, and embarking on a hate campaign to define it as for old people ONLY.

Oh, this made me laugh out loud! I got this mental image of old dudes, waving their canes and shouting obscenities at the young whippersnappers having the temerity to suggest that maybe there should be more diesel engine representation, instead of only steam engines, all the time.

Emma Sherrifs
Emma Sherrifs
5 years ago

5 upvotes and only 1 comment. Well worth doing a ridiculous article on. Wouldn’t be surprised if you typed it yourself

sparky
sparky
5 years ago

You don’t think David types his own articles, Emma Sherrifs? But yes, Dean Esmay and Gamergaters are incredibly ridiculous. Snarking them is indeed well worth it.