Step 1) Post an 800-word rant on Reddit starting with the sentence “Women are sh*t.”

How to get 200 upvotes on Reddit.

Step 1) Post an 800-word rant on the Red Pill subreddit starting with the sentence “Women are shit.”

Step 2) There is no step 2.

TRUE STORY.

I’ve seen the rant, and now you can see it too. If you’re not masochistic enough to click on that link, I’m not going to subject you to the whole thing. It contains so much pure misogyny per square inch that reading it wore me out. So I’m just going to post some giant chunks of it, make a few jokes, and then take the rest of the day off.

Ok, let’s go:

Women are shit. AWALT. Fuckoff snowflakes, nobody cares you think you’re different. Every woman thinks she’s special and different and expects to be treated as such. It’s all bullshit. Women are remarkably similar to each other across the board and HATE being generalised because of their narcissism. They’re so similar psychologically that we can make a fucking subreddit [The Red Pill] that generalises just over half the human race with an incredible degree of accuracy and use that knowledge as a proficient weapon in helping men get the upperhand in a social system where they’re systemically beaten down.

Dude, I don’t want to nitpick but “upper hand” is two words, not one. “Uppercut” is one word. “Upper hand,” two. Continue.

The upperhand is something a man needs if he ever wants to come out unscathed with any kind of social contract with a woman.

Dude, what did I just say? It’s two words. TWO WORDS.

Hypergamy necessitates it. She requires your superiority to be attracted to you, that’s probably the biggest joke about “equality.”

No, here’s the biggest joke about equality:

Have you heard about the constipated mathematician?

He had to work it out with a pencil

Sorry, that wasn’t about equality. But I thought it was pretty good for a poop joke.

Not all women are born equal, but all have a capacity for insanity and machiavellianism. … Never met a bitch who wasn’t crazy or manipulative. [U]nderneath that exterior of upward inflexion, smilies and a face full of chemicals their lurks something far darker and more destructive.

That they have to work out with a pencil? Ba-dum-tish!

Did you see what I did there? In comedy that’s known as a “callback.”

Men need to start living in bachelor pads together, library, gym, pool table. Swimming pool. No bitches living in the house.

Yeah, I think you’ve just invented the frat house. (Well, a frat house with a pool.)

It’s an effective way to avoid this clusterfuck of affairs we call women/marriage/divorce/hypergamy without being lonely/sacrificing a sex life.

I don’t think anyone calls it “ women/marriage/divorce/hypergamy.” That’s kind of a mouthful.

Jealous bitches will accuse you of being gay as an effort to shame you/your friends into adhering to the traditional narrative and wifing up her or one of her friends, laugh in their faces and shame them right back for being homophobic. Lay into them for hating gays and watch them shut the fuck up as you flip their own bullshit back at them.

Yeah, show those shitty bitches who the real hater is … wait, what?

Live your life on your own terms men don’t feel like you have some fucking duty to society and these ungrateful harpies who’ll never appreciate all the sweat and toil you put into making ends meat. Fuck ’em all. Society never gave a fuck about you so don’t feel some disjointed loyalty to it.

Disjointed loyalty? I’m beginning to think this guy doesn’t know how words work.

If you’re not already lumbered with a woman, a woman’s problems, and a kid, sit back, sip a JD & Coke from a cocktail straw and let it all fucking burn.

If it’s all burning, maybe you should jump in that pool of yours to stay safe.

We can literally redefine transactional sex from “shit woman does to control you” to “something women are paid to do and then quickly leave because you don’t want the crazy parasite trying to dig her claws into your life”

Wow. First you invented the frat house, now you’ve invented prostitution. Congratulation.

Wanna know something else pretty? Older women who are single tend to go even crazier. They’re not fucking built to do this alone, yet they’re designed in a way that makes you not want to put up with them.

Wait, single older women are designed to make you sick of them? Who exactly designed them like this? Evolutionary psychology just gets weirder and weirder.

Hahahaha. Couldn’t give a shit about woman’s struggles, everyone’s running around after them, men are the ones in most urgent need of help – mostly emotional support. I get too many messages from guys who want to kill themselves. It’s fucked up. Thanks women/feminism.

In all seriousness, I hope you tell these guys to call their therapist, or a hotline, because they’re not going to get the help they need from you, that’s for sure.

Some guys are desperate for something more meaningful with a woman, love, a proper relationship and blah blah. Fair enough, I understand that desire, but all this shit still applies. You will get fucked. It’s not a question of if, but when. Most people who make it work met very young, you were her first alpha or some shit. A lot of this shit still applies you just have far better odds at working through it.

Well, no, actually people who get married when they’re very young divorce at much higher rates than those who get married later. It’s almost as if people learn and grow from experience and can make better choices when they’re a bit older. The more experience a woman has with men, the less likely she’ll be willing to settle with a wannabe “alpha” asshole like you.

Oh yeah, another thing, any unfavourable opinion of women no matter how rooted in reality makes you a bitter misogynist, might as well embrace the label until it loses any meaning. Much how women call each other sluts and bitches to be cute. Oh you bitter misogynist you, have a soft punch in the arm.

If you think any of these ridiculous opinions of yours are rooted in reality, you’re not only a misogynist, you’re kind of an idiot, too. And possibly 14 yeard old.

NOTE: Thanks to the Red-Pill-watchers in the Blue Pill subreddit for pointing me to this, er, gem.