How to get 200 upvotes on Reddit.
Step 1) Post an 800-word rant on the Red Pill subreddit starting with the sentence “Women are shit.”
Step 2) There is no step 2.
TRUE STORY.
I’ve seen the rant, and now you can see it too. If you’re not masochistic enough to click on that link, I’m not going to subject you to the whole thing. It contains so much pure misogyny per square inch that reading it wore me out. So I’m just going to post some giant chunks of it, make a few jokes, and then take the rest of the day off.
Ok, let’s go:
Women are shit. AWALT. Fuckoff snowflakes, nobody cares you think you’re different. Every woman thinks she’s special and different and expects to be treated as such. It’s all bullshit. Women are remarkably similar to each other across the board and HATE being generalised because of their narcissism. They’re so similar psychologically that we can make a fucking subreddit [The Red Pill] that generalises just over half the human race with an incredible degree of accuracy and use that knowledge as a proficient weapon in helping men get the upperhand in a social system where they’re systemically beaten down.
Dude, I don’t want to nitpick but “upper hand” is two words, not one. “Uppercut” is one word. “Upper hand,” two. Continue.
The upperhand is something a man needs if he ever wants to come out unscathed with any kind of social contract with a woman.
Dude, what did I just say? It’s two words. TWO WORDS.
Hypergamy necessitates it. She requires your superiority to be attracted to you, that’s probably the biggest joke about “equality.”
No, here’s the biggest joke about equality:
Have you heard about the constipated mathematician?
He had to work it out with a pencil
Sorry, that wasn’t about equality. But I thought it was pretty good for a poop joke.
Not all women are born equal, but all have a capacity for insanity and machiavellianism. … Never met a bitch who wasn’t crazy or manipulative. [U]nderneath that exterior of upward inflexion, smilies and a face full of chemicals their lurks something far darker and more destructive.
That they have to work out with a pencil? Ba-dum-tish!
Did you see what I did there? In comedy that’s known as a “callback.”
Men need to start living in bachelor pads together, library, gym, pool table. Swimming pool. No bitches living in the house.
Yeah, I think you’ve just invented the frat house. (Well, a frat house with a pool.)
It’s an effective way to avoid this clusterfuck of affairs we call women/marriage/divorce/hypergamy without being lonely/sacrificing a sex life.
I don’t think anyone calls it “ women/marriage/divorce/hypergamy.” That’s kind of a mouthful.
Jealous bitches will accuse you of being gay as an effort to shame you/your friends into adhering to the traditional narrative and wifing up her or one of her friends, laugh in their faces and shame them right back for being homophobic. Lay into them for hating gays and watch them shut the fuck up as you flip their own bullshit back at them.
Yeah, show those shitty bitches who the real hater is … wait, what?
Live your life on your own terms men don’t feel like you have some fucking duty to society and these ungrateful harpies who’ll never appreciate all the sweat and toil you put into making ends meat. Fuck ’em all. Society never gave a fuck about you so don’t feel some disjointed loyalty to it.
Disjointed loyalty? I’m beginning to think this guy doesn’t know how words work.
If you’re not already lumbered with a woman, a woman’s problems, and a kid, sit back, sip a JD & Coke from a cocktail straw and let it all fucking burn.
If it’s all burning, maybe you should jump in that pool of yours to stay safe.
We can literally redefine transactional sex from “shit woman does to control you” to “something women are paid to do and then quickly leave because you don’t want the crazy parasite trying to dig her claws into your life”
Wow. First you invented the frat house, now you’ve invented prostitution. Congratulation.
Wanna know something else pretty? Older women who are single tend to go even crazier. They’re not fucking built to do this alone, yet they’re designed in a way that makes you not want to put up with them.
Wait, single older women are designed to make you sick of them? Who exactly designed them like this? Evolutionary psychology just gets weirder and weirder.
Hahahaha. Couldn’t give a shit about woman’s struggles, everyone’s running around after them, men are the ones in most urgent need of help – mostly emotional support. I get too many messages from guys who want to kill themselves. It’s fucked up. Thanks women/feminism.
In all seriousness, I hope you tell these guys to call their therapist, or a hotline, because they’re not going to get the help they need from you, that’s for sure.
Some guys are desperate for something more meaningful with a woman, love, a proper relationship and blah blah. Fair enough, I understand that desire, but all this shit still applies. You will get fucked. It’s not a question of if, but when. Most people who make it work met very young, you were her first alpha or some shit. A lot of this shit still applies you just have far better odds at working through it.
Well, no, actually people who get married when they’re very young divorce at much higher rates than those who get married later. It’s almost as if people learn and grow from experience and can make better choices when they’re a bit older. The more experience a woman has with men, the less likely she’ll be willing to settle with a wannabe “alpha” asshole like you.
Oh yeah, another thing, any unfavourable opinion of women no matter how rooted in reality makes you a bitter misogynist, might as well embrace the label until it loses any meaning. Much how women call each other sluts and bitches to be cute. Oh you bitter misogynist you, have a soft punch in the arm.
If you think any of these ridiculous opinions of yours are rooted in reality, you’re not only a misogynist, you’re kind of an idiot, too. And possibly 14 yeard old.
NOTE: Thanks to the Red-Pill-watchers in the Blue Pill subreddit for pointing me to this, er, gem.
Uhhhh, children aren’t being monetized. IT COSTS MONEY TO RAISE CHILDREN BECAUSE CAPITALISM. You aren’t paying the mother for having your child. You are helping to pay for the cost of raising a little human being because IT COSTS MONEY TO RAISE CHILDREN BECAUSE CAPITALISM.
I mean hell, if you hate capitalism, then I’m there with you, friend! But you aren’t going to defeat capitalism by deciding children shouldn’t cost money therefore abolish child support. You should probably start by making raising children be free for everyone, then no one would need to pay child support.
Wrong again. I don’t hate or mistrust men, and I am in fact a radical feminist (trans-inclusive, lest anyone be tempted to “TERF” me). I have never taught anyone to hate anyone, either. Hating sexism and stupidity does not equal “hating men”, as you seem eager to make it do.
And not wanting trolls to pile onto women who dare to express an opinion is not “coddling”. Anita Sarkeesian has received actual death threats. Are you telling me that a woman not being threatened with death is some kind of coddled creature? What the hell is WRONG with you?
And what the flying fuck is a “rational”? That’s an adjective, not a noun, you doorknob.
Uh, dude? “Monetizing children” means SELLING them.
Words, they mean things. And you clearly don’t understand what they mean.
Do these fuckfaces realize how petty and whiny they sound when they complain about the “cruelty” of child support? Do they really think that incubating, giving birth to and raising people is free and effortless or that somehow it’s fully the woman’s responsibility?
And nobody buys the ‘oh but we do want half the custody actually’. That’s just a post hoc rhetoric excuse (yes, there *are* fathers who want custody, but they don’t complain about having to pay — because they don’t care about stupid ‘financial freedom’ but about their kids and actually suffer for not being able to raise them, which is not clearly the case here).
Also it’s almost funny how “taking” a man’s “financial freedom” is somehow terrible but a person with an uterus exercising zir body autonomy is “just something they can choose” because “too much sexual freedom”.
I repeat: cis men need to STFU about pregnancy. Cis women don’t come whining at them about how they deal with prostate cancer, ergo, they don’t get to nag about pregnancy.
Got home, my uterus is trying to kill me, so 3 hours of Skyrim and five beers later, MOS is still at it.
Androgyny is bad? Assumes facts not in evidence.
Should I teach him a few new words? Should I? SHOULD I?
*whispers* monosexism
*winks* gender is non-binary
*jazz hands* SMASH THE GENDER BINARY
Troll is boring and annoying and cliche.
Have some golden retrievers:
Karalora: best. alphabet. ever.
I’m only on page one of the comments yet (obvs) but that’s one boring wall-o-text troll. And, surprise surprise, he missed the part that this is a mockery blog. Not an “Oh poor dudes are sad, but I will debate them to make them feel important” blog. Not a “What important points you raise, I will debate them” blog. A blog for mocking fuckwitted misogynists, their hateful worldview, and, yes, their blithering incompetence with basic English, among other things.
tl:dr: fuck off, lackwit troll.
OK. Silver lining. There are 200 upvotes to this incredibly offensive nonsense. That means there are about 150 MILLION non-upvotes by US men. Demographics and all.
If we’ve identified the opposition as being 200 assholes out of 150 million American men, that’s gotta be pretty good…right? Right?
I especially love how the troll thinks cis women (and trans men, who I’m sure he doesn’t even acknowledge as male) can now have consequence-free unprotected BC-free sex. Since when? We’re not THAT empowered. We never have been. If we don’t use protection, or get dudes to do so, we risk pregnancy. And our risk of catching an STD is greater than that of a cis man, too. AIDS isn’t just a gay man’s disease, it’s anybody’s disease…and in western Africa, in the Congo Basin where it originated, it got a toehold precisely because women’s vaginas are more vulnerable to ulceration as a result of sex itself, or other, ulcerating STDs, than men’s penises. It was primarily spread through heterosexual intercourse. And it is still a primarily heterosexually spread disease in all of Africa.
But I’m sure our troll will just blame sexually “empowered” women for that.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Out-group_homogeneity
That, and they bond by ranting about how shitty women are.
Serious question:
What’s the difference between commoditization and monetization?
RE: Bina
Yeah, I remember the Raping Year. Not only was I being used as a human underage sextoy on a weekly basis, I lived in terror of becoming pregnant. The only reason I was able to fight him off as much as I was was because I was bone-deep petrified of being impregnated with his child.
Seriously. Back then I was pro-life. I could imagine no fate more hellish than being forced to raise my rapist’s child alone. (Because I knew he would NEVER be a parent. He wanted ME to be his goddamn mother, and I was a child!)
RE: Michael McG
Serious question: What’s the difference between commoditization and monetization?
Glib response: it’s the difference between billboard models and sex workers.
Wordsp1nner
Little do they know that they will star in this!
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_xdN0QQwsP1A/SinD9vQev8I/AAAAAAAACnY/ZoZn2elYeKQ/s1600-h/AirBuddies.jpg
I think I understand a liiiiittle bit better. 🙂
LBT
I’m very sorry that you had to go through that but it’s wonderful to hear you live happily ever after with someone who truly loves you!
Bina
Like you said before he needs sex ed
I am a cis man and support this 100%. We really have no clue at all when it comes to pregnancy.
Important question, all:
D’you think we should add Karalora’s explanation of the Duder Alphabet to the Welcome Package?
@ kittehserf
YES PLZ
Kittehserf
http://youtu.be/IuBQkdsajVE
YES!!!!!!!
Dang me, yes. This is why sexual assault is such a huge violence against women, even when little apparent physical force is involved. The risk of having your whole life changed (and not for the better) in one awful moment is kind of huge.
And yet, these trolls invariably minimize all that as “just sex”, or some such. Which just goes to show in how little regard they hold other people, especially if those people have female bits.
Oh hellz yeah!
Kevin – That’s the spirit!
*goes back to playing Mass Effect with the husband and not reading or trying to engage obvious troll*
(Not you, Kevin – the mossy guy.)