With Richard Dawkins rapidly accelerating his schedule of Twitter meltdowns recently, it’s clearly time for some RICHARD DAWKINS TWITTER MELTDOWN BINGO!
The rules are simple:
- Follow Richard Dawkins on Twitter.
- Make sure you’re following the correct Richard Dawkins. This one. While this other Richard Dawkins might seem indistinguishable from the real thing, don’t be fooled! He is merely a stunningly convincing Dawkins impersonator.
- As soon as you notice Dawkins — the real Dawkins — saying something, you know, really really Dawkinsish, pop over here to generate your own randomized DAWKINS TWITTER MELTDOWN BINGO card, because, I guarantee you, a meltdown is immi
nent. - Sit back and wait for the BINGOS to roll in.
- Profit?
Oh, and just so you know, I can edit the list used to generate the cards, so if you have any ideas for new squares, or if you think I might have gone a little overboard with the roadkill cannibalism thing, or you think it needs more “dundridges,” post your thoughts in the comments below.
All the items in my DAWKINS TWITTER MELTDOWN BINGO list — even the roadkill cannibalism thing — are based at least loosely on things he’s actually said on Twitter, or in the little essays he’s written defending his behavior on Twitter.
Oh, so you don’t believe me about the roadkill cannibalism thing? Here he is talking about it with his actual mouth.
And that honeypot thing? Here you go.
Bin Laden has won, in airports of the world every day. I had a little jar of honey, now thrown away by rule-bound dundridges. STUPID waste.
— Richard Dawkins (@RichardDawkins) November 3, 2013
I told you never to doubt me.
EDIT: For more context about his meltdowns, this piece is a good intro. And thanks for the suggestions! I’ll be adding some more squares about Christina Hoff Sommers and his now-deleted penis Tweet.
I vote for something strong like ouzo or whiskey that’ll hopefully overpower that unpleasant roasted troll odor.
Trolls might pair well with Two-Buck Chuck.
(Apologies for a regional Western U.S. joke.)
@GrumpyOldMan, Thanks for white knighting for me. I mean, I know you’re obligated to do that by FEMNIZM, but still thanks. XD
One of the many sad discoveries my wife made after our marriage was that I have a very restricted sense of taste, so her fantasies of candlelight dinners with delicately seasoned meals evaporated. She settled for asking me not to make meals look like they had been hit by a sudden snowstorm until after I had at least gone through the motions of tasting at least one bite. For that reason I find almost any dish made from troll meat quite savoury, requiring nothing more than a bottle of Clydesdale piss to make it complete. (I dislike Budweiser, so it is the perfect beverage to complement troll.)
Oh, Cloudiah, you have no problem at a … oh, shit, maybe I’m talking too much.
And, as I’m Danish by heritage, I’m going to suggest aquavit as a palate cleanser. It’s always worked for me.
huh, I… just felt a sudden shiver down my spine. A chill sensation, a sort of… harbringer of doom or omen of terrible things to come in fluid form.
I am hoping that “harbringer” was some sort of brilliant pun on harbor and harbinger, but I guess it’s probably the sort of thing my fingers do when it’s past my bedtime.
Or maybe when you’ve had too much aquavit. XD
I suggest this, Iceland’s national beverage.
I drank it once and spent the next three days in a cybernetics laboratory while scientists rebuilt my esophagus. My love of all things Icelandic managed to survive, however.
But maybe we can bond over lutefisk.
[My mother moved many states to get away from lutefisk, and to shield her children from lutefisk.]
I will always love Icelanders because an 80+-year-old Icelandic woman helped me translate a very racy AIDS poster. For science! She was awesome.
That Icelandic thing is nicknamed “black death”. True story.
I see y’all are hating on my Christmas food. *awww* Lutefisk and aquavit is fine with some bacon.
Lutefisk and aquavit? At the same time?
If anyone wants any poetry done, I’ll be in the bleach section of the imaginary supermarket, bingechugging industrial strength detergent in some doomed attempt at trying to clean out my soul after reading that.
I mean, to each their own and that old Latin thing about matters of taste and all that, but… but? At the same time? What are you? How? How is that possible? I once saw a bit of Lutefisk and a bottle of water next to each other and I blacked out for three months and woke up in Mexico with a tan and a perfect recall of Morse Code, and you’re telling me you consume these almost-certainly-recognized-by-the-UN-as-chemical weapons for sport?
I marvel at your gastro-intenstinal fortitude, oh stranger. Surely, your insides are steel and your stomach less flesh and more bank vault.
LOL. I can’t write such a spirited defence, so I’ll take the compliments on my digestive system and agree to disagree? 😉
Fibi, your turn of phrase is a gift I can only hope to ever show a pale reflection of. That was hilarious. 🙂
Of course :]
Like what you like, I really was just joking. And maybe marvelling a little :b
Seconded, strivingally. I fell over laughing at Fibi’s waking-up-in-Mexico description.
Honestly, people complain about haggis, but that’s just cooked in an odd vessel. If you want the really scary food get in a boat departing from the Highlands and head directly east.
Most of the fun of haggis has gone now people know what it is. It used to be such fun to wait until an English person had eaten some, then explain what it was and watch their face.
My dad used to make up stories about hunting the wild haggis in the Highlands for credulous foreigners. He’d even draw little illustrations for them.
(So now you see where that part of my personality came from.)
Oh! Oh! Oh! One leg shorter than the other so they had to run only one way round the mountain ?
Ha, the Goodies did the Hunting of the Haggis!
I was sooooo disappointed when I had it. Like, if I wanted mincemeat smothered in pepper, I’d have asked for it. Had just eat the neeps and tatties instead.
Never did pluck up the courage to try Irn-Bru.
Had *to* just eat the neeps and tatties.
Oh Irn Bru is great. It’s about the only sparkling soda that I drink. |And you might have had haggis like we had at Uni. 3 scoops One white (potato), one orange(neeps), one grey/white(haggis). But I’ve had real haggis stuffed under chicken skin which was beautiful.