With Richard Dawkins rapidly accelerating his schedule of Twitter meltdowns recently, it’s clearly time for some RICHARD DAWKINS TWITTER MELTDOWN BINGO!
The rules are simple:
- Follow Richard Dawkins on Twitter.
- Make sure you’re following the correct Richard Dawkins. This one. While this other Richard Dawkins might seem indistinguishable from the real thing, don’t be fooled! He is merely a stunningly convincing Dawkins impersonator.
- As soon as you notice Dawkins — the real Dawkins — saying something, you know, really really Dawkinsish, pop over here to generate your own randomized DAWKINS TWITTER MELTDOWN BINGO card, because, I guarantee you, a meltdown is immi
nent. - Sit back and wait for the BINGOS to roll in.
- Profit?
Oh, and just so you know, I can edit the list used to generate the cards, so if you have any ideas for new squares, or if you think I might have gone a little overboard with the roadkill cannibalism thing, or you think it needs more “dundridges,” post your thoughts in the comments below.
All the items in my DAWKINS TWITTER MELTDOWN BINGO list — even the roadkill cannibalism thing — are based at least loosely on things he’s actually said on Twitter, or in the little essays he’s written defending his behavior on Twitter.
Oh, so you don’t believe me about the roadkill cannibalism thing? Here he is talking about it with his actual mouth.
And that honeypot thing? Here you go.
Bin Laden has won, in airports of the world every day. I had a little jar of honey, now thrown away by rule-bound dundridges. STUPID waste.
— Richard Dawkins (@RichardDawkins) November 3, 2013
I told you never to doubt me.
EDIT: For more context about his meltdowns, this piece is a good intro. And thanks for the suggestions! I’ll be adding some more squares about Christina Hoff Sommers and his now-deleted penis Tweet.
Here’s the tweet I like the best:
Richard Dawkins: the true victim of rape!
Really, what Dawkins should have tweeted was (TW for foulness), “Rapists, be smart! Make sure your victims are completely unconscious first, and then I’ll be the first to say you should go unpunished.”
Dawkins really is trying to become the Pat Robertson of atheism, isn’t he?
@kittehserf
Oooh, tell that one to Dawkins. He’ll totally ‘splode!
Really think he might explode? DO IT KITTEH!!!!!
OMIGAWD…that would be awesome…:D
@grumpyoldnurse
Well, he probably won’t explode, but the self-righteous fit would be intense and amazing.
And to think he served a valuable function in society as an educator and scientist for all those years. What a dork.
@ marinerache – It is almost like the social gatekeeper function in his brain has been turned off and he can no longer hear that little voice that says “Yeah, Dick. Better keep that thought to ourselves”. I call it Grumpy Old Man Syndrome (meaning no offense to our local GrumpyOldMan, whose posts do not suggest that he suffers from it).
Oh, SNAP! I goofed your nym, marinerachel! Very sorry. 🙁
LOL I don’t tweet, and I don’t think Dickie reads FTB anymore. Gets him all upset to send clicks to them, you see.
I should mention it there, in case someone passes it on … I’d love to see a Dawkassplosion.
I read “DO IT KITTEH” in a Glaswegian accent. Comes from watching Glasgow villains in a Hamish MacBeth episode the other night.
@ grumpyoldnurse: I want you to know that I am deeply offended by the implication that I am not every bit as capable of high grumpitude as Dawkins. You need to feel guilty: it will take at least six chocolate-chip cookies to repair my curmudgeonity — and I am diabetic.
Actually, Dawkins is suffering from an ailment I’ve struggled with all my life — which is, no matter how brilliant (you think) you are, you need the completely engage your brain before you put your mouth (or, these days, fingers) in gear. Failure to do so results in a racing engine with much sound but little progress and often more than a few stripped gears.
Oops, I’m still GrumpyOldMan, just got a new computer and haven’t got all my log-ins set up right. Being male, I don’t have to worry much.
It’s cool, GrumpyOldMan! I think you are waaaaaayyyy grumpier than Prof. Dawkins. I just think you are much less of an asshat!
And are you quite sure you need 6 cookies? Wouldn’t you like a nice sugar free imitation low fat carb reduced chocolate-carob biscuit and a 1/2 glass of skim milk? (ooooh, I am a NaughtyOldNurse) Still, if the thought of that nasty snackage doesn’t restore your complete grumpitude, I’m afraid nothing will!
[I’m secretly a mod and I changed your name back, GrumpyOldMan. I’m drunk with power. DRUNK WITH POWER. And maybe a little sauvignon blanc.]
I have never actually been drunk with power, but the sauvignon blanc sounds better.
And I would be fine with posting under my real name, because I actually enjoy trolls — I went over the bridge after the billy-goats gruff, and that troll was yummy — but that would be flaunting my male privilege, which I would never never never do.
Actually :: checks label :: drunk with torrontes. Definitely better than being drunk with power.
Now you’ve done it! Giving away secrets like that will get you hauled up before the Feminist High Council, and you know what that means. They’ll use … sarcasm.
Culinary question: Red wine or white with troll-kebabs?
Not… SARCASM!
And Cloudiah’s not really in trouble, because I’m a confidential adviser to the FHC on Testosterone Toxicity Syndrome.
GrumpyOldMan – I would suggest vodka, actually. The higher alcohol content is likely to have a slightly antiseptic property, which may help ameliorate some of the less pleasant side effects of dining on troll.
My all-time favourite take on The Three Billy Goats Gruff:
http://i.imgur.com/bWwDWSu.jpg?1
I can’t imagine the spices you’d need you make troll palatable would go well with white wines, in any case