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Anton LaVey impersonator Davis Aurini makes a "film," and it's worse than you could possibly imagine

[NOTE: The original video on Davis Aurini’s YouTube channel was taken down shortly after the post went up. So I’ve embedded the version that is, as of this moment, up on the director’s YouTube channel. I”d recommend that you download this for your permanent collection.]

Ok, so I’ve been working on a post about the latest ridiculous doings of our friends Davis Aurini and JordanOwen42 — the not-so-dynamic duo who’ve been desperately begging for money to make their Totally Serious documentary about how evil Anita Sarkeesian is. But then I watched this, and it’s too good not to post on its own.

This is Lust in the Time of Heartache, a short “philosophical” film written and produced, and  just posted on teh Interwebs, by Mr. Aurini. I’m pretty sure it’s not supposed to be a comedy, but I was laughing at it from beginning to end.

There’s nothing about this film that’s not terrible and ridiculous, from the choice of fonts in the title sequence to the names of the characters as revealed in the closing credits.

Where even to start in criticizing this mess? The, er, “acting?” The pretentious, pseudo-philosophical voiceover, delivered by Mr. Aurini himself? The shrill, frantic — yet somehow also meandering — music that plays almost continuously from beginning to end? The ludicrously unconvincing fight choreography? The ill-fitting suits? The evo psych? The dawning recognition that this whole thing is meant to depict how Aurini sees himself in our “fallen” world?

The fact that this ten minute film credits a “parkour consultant?”

I’m going to borrow a couple of lines from Pauline Kael’s famous review of the legendarily stinky 1970 film Song of Norway because they offer a pretty fair assessment of this one as well:

The movie is of an unbelievable badness. … You can’t get angry at something this stupefying; it seems to have been made by trolls.

She means “under the bridge”-style trolls, not the modern kind.

Oh, and the sound is awful, too. NOTE: Dialogue is supposed to be louder than the background noises.

Anyway, just watch it. It’s only ten minutes long. And definitely stay for the final credits. You’ll see why.

But hey, don’t take my word for it. Read this glowing review, from some dude on YouTube:

Excellent writing that encompasses the transitions from one cinematic style to the next. At first I was concentrating on the technical problems and lackluster performances, however, after about 5 mins in, the pacing kicked up a notch. Well done, sir.
Well done, indeed!

 

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C.B.
C.B.
10 years ago

I tried to watch the video but it was terrible from the start. I only managed to watch at least up to seven minutes. I will admit it was kind of funny. Almost like a parody. I didn’t know he was serious.

Puddleglum
10 years ago

I thought the attackers represented his inner demons? Very poorly representative, since I’d have thought his inner demons would be things that stress him out. Like, IDK, women.

@LBT, I don’t think they really see the world this way. They think they want to see the world this way because they think it would be ‘cool’. Unfortunately the real world has humour and love in it, and they rely on that even though they think they don’t. They’re blind to the good things because they take them for granted.

blahlistic (@blahlistic)

Nah, I can’t load vid at work…but all that rambling screed is what he really believes, I bet…

A good cognitive behavioral therapy workbook, if he actually used it, might really help this dude.
That’s what you call a thought trap. He’s mentally painted himself into a corner…Hurting is manly? No, it just sucks.
Your being is irredeemably flawed? No, just a pain in the ass to fix.

I also note, he lives in a country with large wilderness areas, and complains about the evils of luxury…
There’s nothing stopping him from going to go live off the land for a while…it’d help. Not being sarcastic. It would make him stop playing warpy head games and worry about things like how will I not starve tonight, and how am I going to keep from freezing to death in this snow? That can really clear out your head.

Puddleglum
10 years ago

Also, kudos to Fibinachi, you examined that video with way more depth than I could have managed to focus on it.

Cassie's Major Domo
Cassie's Major Domo
10 years ago

Nooooo! Some fedoras are worn by lovely people! Foyle! Milner! Johnny Depp! Mr K! #notallfedoras

Seconded. I love fedoras and have a nice collection of them (I’m a swing dancer, and they are a special part of our dance culture, long before the MRAs tried to snare them), and I want to reclaim them from these assholes.

FREE THE FEDORA!

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

Totally random, but David, want to write about an actual company that’s saturated with hipster misogyny for a change? Because it was bad enough that they serve their burgers with something called “slut sauce”, and you can order a round of “bitch juice”, but then this is what they decided to put on the walls in the women’s bathroom.

http://helengraves.co.uk/2014/09/fries-with-your-misogyny-madam/

Their Twitter account is so terrible that I’m starting to wonder if that’s Judgy Bitch’s day job.

C.B.
C.B.
10 years ago

It’s almost like he was showing women in a very bad light. Like the waitress that threaten to divorce her husband, or the woman who called the homeless man scum, asked why he didn’t have a job, and kicked him after he called her a cow. Or the three women that went with the man for drinks. Why would three women do that anyway? It doesn’t make sense to me. But that’s what I got from the beginning of the video. But yeah, I agree with David. The acting was horrible.

blahlistic (@blahlistic)

I ought to put a little feminism button on my fedora.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
10 years ago

@Puddleglum:

I thought the attackers represented his inner demons? Very poorly representative, since I’d have thought his inner demons would be things that stress him out. Like, IDK, women.

You know what’s hilarious? The women in the video all have names that match their character (going by the cast list), like Masochistae or Corruptella (yeesh), but the “inner demons” are named after their weapons.

Basically, he needs to be deep and profound and have symbolic female villains, but when it comes to his own personal sins, he can’t even name them. They aren’t even inner demons, they’re just nameless mooks to be strong and masculine at.

Cassie's Major Domo
Cassie's Major Domo
10 years ago

@Cassandrakitty

I went to the Almost Famous “apology” for that crap on the bathroom walls, and of course they had the “A woman came up with it!” excuse.

The designs in our female toilets have caused upset and we are sorry. Almost Famous is a young company, we take risks, but we got this one wrong. We want to stress our intentions weren’t to offend. The designs were created by a female employee to voice her own and other women’s insecurities.

I call BS. If a woman came up with the phrases, she never intended them to be splashed all over the women’s bathroom. (Unless, as you said, it was Janet Bloomfield.)

And that “We take risks” part: I guess that explains “slut sauce”? So risky!

weirwoodtreehugger
10 years ago

What’s risky or edgy about misogyny? It’s old, tired and boring. Punching down is the safest and easiest thing you could do.

kittehserf - MOD
10 years ago

Cassie’s Major Domo

FEDORA FISTBUMP!

Bogdan
Bogdan
10 years ago

What’s risky or edgy about misogyny? It’s old, tired and boring. Punching down is the safest and easiest thing you could do.

I’ve been saying that for years.

Cassie's Major Domo
Cassie's Major Domo
10 years ago

I have a special message for Davis Aurini, from someone who has the “Alpha” part down far, far, far better than he ever could….
http://imgur.com/osB7NGg

Whoreson Welles
Whoreson Welles
10 years ago

“We become nothing but a bunch of well-dressed apes”, he says, clad in a fedora and an extremely baggy suit.

kittehserf - MOD
10 years ago

I just saw this hat advertised

WANT

Aitch
Aitch
10 years ago

The worlds shortest fairy tale – Once upon a time, a prince proposed to a princess. The princess refused the proposal. The prince lived happily ever after.

You know, in a perverse way, I kinda liked this fairytale from the troll. It’s not the end of the world if someone isn’t into you!

Mind, when the ‘princess’ is meant to represent every woman ever, it gets sad. Naff off you credulous bottom-feeder.

C.B.
C.B.
10 years ago

RE:kittehserf, lol I like that hat as well.

kittehserf - MOD
10 years ago

C.B., If that hat was on sale here, I would so buy it. But priced in euros means postage, plus online means not getting to try it for size … so, dammit, no.

Aitch – trolly fucked up his tale: princess refusing the prince meant she lived happily ever after, since she wasn’t marrying someone she didn’t want.

C.B.
C.B.
10 years ago

Yeah I understand. By the way nice to meet you. I’m new here so thank for being so kind and replying back to me.

Aitch
Aitch
10 years ago

Aitch – trolly fucked up his tale: princess refusing the prince meant she lived happily ever after, since she wasn’t marrying someone she didn’t want.

Good call.

Meanwhile the prince would, in practice, seethe and hate on all women instead of going his own way.

C.B.
C.B.
10 years ago

Viro dianc seems to be very obsessed with women even though it seems like he doesn’t like them very much and think they are a bunch a sociopaths.

Zolnier
Zolnier
10 years ago

So what is this thing’s “plot” exactly?

C.B.
C.B.
10 years ago

A bunch of sociopaths. Sorry I type to fast and I don’t really proof read my comments. Maybe it’s time I should. Lol

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