We cannot let women take over the tech industry. Because cats.

So here’s a new perspective on the whole “should we allow women to take over the tech industry or any other industry” question, courtesy of the Pro-Male/Anti-Feminist Technology blog. Yes, women, if you want to run a business or an industry you apparently have to check with the dudes at the Pro-Male/Anti-Feminist Technology blog first.

In a post titled “Why We Don’t Want Women Taking Over Tech Or Any Other Industry,” the ironically named “Reality forever” explains that women shouldn’t be allowed to run anything because, well, women are terrible and apparently love making everyone go to meetings:

[M]en are afraid of women in the workplace because all they bring is misery, low morale, lawsuits based on false accusations, insanity in general, never ending useless meetings and all around stupidity and dysfunction and low productivity.

Also, cats:

Even women hate working with other women. Put several cats in a small cage together and you’ll get the picture.

Huh. As sensible as Reality forever’s argument has been so far, I have a couple of slight objections to make here. Human women are not, to the best of my knowledge, cats.

Also, I’m pretty sure the issue here isn’t the cats so much as the whole small cage thing. Basically, if you put any animal – or person – in a small cage they’re going to be a bit grouchy, particularly if you stuff another couple of animals or people in there with them.

I mean, your uncle Ted might be the most affable fellow in the world, but if you throw him in a tiny cage with, say, your other uncle Brian, there’s going to be some friction. Toss in some cats, or perhaps a hyena or two, and you’re really asking for trouble.

Let’s let Reality forever continue, just in case his argument gets better.

But we can all give a sigh of relief because women will NEVER dominate any industry and there are specific reasons why. The reasons are contained in female nature. Any female above admin in any corporate office can barely even show up for work on any consistent basis.

I think he’s on to something. I sometimes see women walking around the streets in the middle of the day. They probably left to go to work in the morning but just got lost. Or distracted by a shoe sale. Women love shoes, amirite fellas high five.

I know this sounds insane, but we [have] thousands of clients and the vast majority of the companies wherein we have female contacts are rarely ever in. Many have taken off for a year at a tine.

You may not realize it, fellas, but women can just wander off on a break and not come back for a year.

It’s like this well hidden, but giant secret that no one talks about and I don’t think a lot of people are even aware of because women are so stealth at covering up their deviance and so many people will cover for them.

It’s true. If you look closely at many of the so-called women who work in your office you will discover that a lot of them are actually mannequins, carefully disguised to look like your female co-workers – who have probably been sitting on a tropical beach somewhere eating bon bons for the last 8 months with no one suspecting a thing.

In fact I’ve been trying to find other people who have seen this who deal with a large number of companies like I do.

They take off huge chunks of time- months even a year at a time then refuse to be at work before 11am and are gone by 2pm and never work on mon. or fri. then suddenly quits after a short time. Forever. Not just that job- all work completely.

It’s the dirty secret of the corporate world: most full-time women employees work only 12 hours a week, if that.

Women really only want to work part time if at all – they just like the idea of work and a status title and do not want to make any commitment to anything or anyone- especially women now.

It’s a little-known fact that Sheryl Sandberg’s official title at Facebook is “Pretty Princess of Operations” and that she only works three hours a week.

That is their flaky nature. And yes, they are ALL like that- 98% of them. And they’re lazy and don’t want to ever try harder or get out of their comfort zone or take risks. Women are their own worst enemies.

Oh, don’t be modest, Reality forever. People like you are their worst enemies.

In the comments, Reality forever expands upon his thesis.

I … work for a telecom and I’m in sales – so we have clients in virtually ALL industries and/or go to pitch potential clients in all industries. And I’ve been at it for 6 years total and with any females who have an actual title like IT Manager, VP or any kind of administrative anything, they are extremely clever at barely putting in any hours – I know because it’s my job (unfortunately) to have to deal with so many of them on a daily basis and communicate with them.

They’re extremely flaky, moody, never want any responsibilities at all to make any decisions, barely ever come into work, are as useless pedals on a wheelchair, spiteful, condescending, vindictive- the most horrible people I have ever had to deal with have all been women. And the vast majority of them are all the same in their patterns.

They’re overemotional about everything so they come off even creepy a lot of the time! With the men, it’s about 2-5% of them are jerks, flip that for women to about 2-5% of them are decent. That’s just been my experience dealing with all these women in virtually every industry there is.

And they are always just… OUT. Whether it’s ‘not in yet’ ‘already left for the day.’ Not in ‘today.’ ‘Out till next week.’ If I had 25 cents for every time I’ve heard ‘she’ is ‘out’ I would be wealthy, and no, they’re not just trying to avoid me and lying- they’ll actually be out, you can hear the sincerity in the voice of whoever’s telling me this that day. …

And I would expect it’s their being allergic to work that has kept them from really achieving anything across the board. And it’s ironically BECAUSE of Feminism that made them this way- everyone needs to make special ‘concessions’ for them and bend to them, not them needing to bend to fit in and join the work flow. …

Feminism, everything women are up to now, all of it, is mostly just a fraud and illusion and I’m telling you this thing of women being OUT all the time is real! Go to any company website in any industry, go to the staff directory, or go to Data.com connect and look up the staff directory for any company, then call and ask for any of the females above admin on that list and they will just happen to be out that day!

And it’ll be like Tuesday at 11am. It’s this phenomenon that I’ve been trying to tell people about for years, but they just don’t believe me or don’t understand what I’m talking about.

Huh. It must be true. Because I can’t think of any other reason women would want to avoid taking a call from you.