There are a lot of good reasons why the words “creepy” and “expat” end up together so often. But sometimes the word “creepy” really isn’t strong enough.
Take the latest post on Random Xpat Rantings, the blog of an especially creepy 50-something expat living in Bali. “Xplat’s” posts are almost always skin-crawlingly awful, but he’s really outdone himself with a sexually explicit ode to cross-generational, er, “romance” titled “The value of being the center of religious devotion.”
He’s not big on self-awareness, this guy.
He starts off with this doozy:
Many people, men included, can’t seem to wrap their minds around why on earth a man would date a teenager 30 years younger than himself.
No, I think pretty much everyone knows why you’re “dating” a teenager – in a country with a per-capita income one-fifteenth that of the United States.
An 18 year old is capable of extreme crushes, and can be brought into a religious reverie of constant devotion towards her man.
Like I said, he’s not big on self-awareness.
Especially if she’s given regular doses of intense sex. Intense physically, erotically, emotionally, violently, romantically, exhibitionously, and any other ly. Just intense experience in which it feels as if you share the same emotional and physical worlds.
Exhibitionously? (Not a real word.) Violently?
After some vaguely Buddhist pseudo-profundities on the nature of “love,” he launches into a grotesque and explicit discussion of how the young woman he calls “N18” pleasures him sexually “with frenzied devotion.” We’ll just skip past that and move on to this:
I am the center of her world, and when we are together you will see her spend all her attention on trying to make me happy. I don’t dole out love constantly, but she relishes each burst of it, and patiently waits around for the next dose.
His hot-and-cold approach to doling out “love” is of course a classic abuser tactic.
This is not just a matter of blow jobs on command. This is loving devoted passionate blow jobs.
That’s why an older man would date an 18 year old. Because they make excellent devoted sex slaves.
I’m speechless.
Even after four years of writing about the “manosphere” I’m still amazed and appalled by the ways these guys manage to outdo themselves in awfullness.
Curse you, blockquote monster.
Racism, misogyny, and classism all wrapped up in one shitty package of a man.
@ andrea harris
The problem is that if the current victim is 18 there’s probably nothing the authorities can do, since being a huge creep who doesn’t see women as people is not a criminal offense. Next time he confesses to molesting someone who’s under the local age of consent, though, it might be worth a try.
“Exhibitiously”?
Is that a combination of “expeditiously” and “exhibitionistically”?
*shudder*
Really quick and efficient exhibitionism? I think that’s normally known as flashing.
The problem is that if the current victim is 18 there’s probably nothing the authorities can do, since being a huge creep who doesn’t see women as people is not a criminal offense.
Yes, but she wasn’t always…
Given he loves in Indonesia, I wonder if there might be some way of using laws concerning sex and marriage–I don’t think he’s married these women–to get him in trouble…not that I don’t realize that such a course is action isn’t problematic in itself.
Somehow, him referring to her as N16 just pushes it a little farther into monster category for me. I know he’s not really a monster – he’s a human being who is choosing to do evil things. And, as Granny Weatherwax reminds us, evil always starts with treating other people as things.
Blockquote fail!
If he was in the main part of Indonesia it might be easier, but Bali is going to be a bit more challenging for multiple reasons. It’s been hard enough to crack down on predators who’re preying on much younger children there that I just don’t see the local cops paying much attention to this guy.
Blockquote monster is hungry today.
You know how I get smoking hot sex out of my girlfriend?
I tell her she’s wonderful, sexy, smart, kind and capable of many things. I treat her like she’s worth a lot, all the time (she IS worth a lot). I shower her with affection. I relate to her as an equal. I’m honest. I think about ways to show her that she’s important to me.
Hmm…I intellectually grasp the way controlling, abusive people think, but on an emotional level I really don’t.
I feel like your definition of smoking hot sex and theirs may differ quite considerably.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9PGp5XrMk2g#t=76 Corgi who wears his bed?
Also, if you had to choose between sharing our planet with this creep and some unpleasant species of organism, which organism would it be?
I pick bedbugs. I would rather share the planet with bedbugs than with this guy.
Roaches. They’re gross and they freak me out, but they aren’t actually predatory towards humans.
This guy is the human equivalent of the vengeful shark from Jaws 2.
BTW, if anyone needs some brain bleach, this guy’s channel is always great.
@serrana
Yep.
This reminds me of FlyLady, telling about when she left her abusive husband, and he asked, incredulously, “But why would you leave? I’m happy!” Because, you see, these jerks are so solipsistic that they do not see anyone else as real, and only real people have actual feelings, or have any reason to fear.
That’s why, when their victims are pussy-footing around, walking on egg-shells, and doing everything in their power to please the abusers, it never occurs to the abusers that it’s because the victims FEAR them. No, it must be love, and “women LIKE being put in their place.”
Ummmm, no. If it happened to you, you wouldn’t like it. You’d hate it. You’d be afraid. Just like, you know, “real” people would.
If I ever dated a younger man, it would be because he pursued me so much that I was absolutely sure he was in love with me, AND he’d have to be pretty darned mature, mentally and emotionally. So, he’d be a real rarity.
Yeah, the young body is nice. It has all that energy to burn, so if I were to go “sex touring,” I’d see the appeal in getting someone young to service me for a weekend, or so, after which I’d probably be too exhausted to do anything else for a week.
But I’m not looking for cheap thrills. I’m looking for a long-term relationship, and that requires a measure of equality, and some balance in the relationship.
I’ll just be over there, trying very hard to not throw up. What a horrific waste of oxygen and space…
@cassandrakitty:
“Next time he confesses to molesting someone who’s under the local age of consent, though, it might be worth a try.”
He talks about turning [his?] daughters into sex slaves in a post titled “Use the force. Of paternal love” (ugh), which he starts by relating how he had an erection when he held his baby boy for the first time.
After “explaining” how well paternal and erotic love mix, he comes to a following conclusion:
“I’ve found this [being or playing Daddy] a very useful persona, both for arousing passion in and having control over women, as well as raising my own quality of life. Quality of life is raised by the enjoyment of intimacy and romance, as well as the resulting sex-slave behaviour from daughters.”
It’s not exactly a smoking gun, in a manner of speaking, but, really, do we need more?
And please, before anyone asks, “Why do these women stay with their abusers?” I’d just like to put out there the fact that quite often, the victims (of any gender) feel trapped, and that the only other options they have are actually worse than what they have.
Skillful abusers set it up that way. They isolate before they escalate, and if they can fix it so that the victim also have little to no financial resources, then the trap is even harder to get out. Moreover, skillful abusers not only take their victims away from the loving friends and family who would help them, but they also surround the victim with their own friends, who make it clear to the victim that they will NOT help, so there’s no point asking.
Poor N18 most likely got into the relationship as a means of escaping a bad situation, and is now looking for some way to escape, without going from frying pan directly to fire. We know nothing about N18’s history, but we do know that the majority of such victims have been primed for it, by their lives and situations growing up.
For example, children of abusive parents are often chosen as spouses for abusers, because they are already primed for that abuse, thinking they can’t get anything better, and don’t deserve better, anyway, even if they could get someone better.
Also, people who are brought up in a loving family, but are so grindingly poor, may very well latch onto an abusive, but well-off spouse, in the hopes of helping the family out of poverty. N18 may very well be sacrificing herself for those she loves, considering the economic realities of her environment. That story is as old as arranged marriages. People in that situation use the real love for their families to simulate love for their abuser.
Those are only two examples.
TL;DR – Don’t blame the victim, or ask, “Why doesn’t she just leave?” I really, Really, REALLY hate that!
I just threw up in my mouth a little.
@Aunt Edna,
AAAAHHH! Nope. http://s1302.photobucket.com/user/nelsonmonty/media/nope_zpsbcc14df0.gif.html
Yuk.
@cassandrakitty – So, the creepy dude in the trench coat shall henceforth be called The Exhibitiouser!
@Aunt Edna – OMG, it’s actually worse!
OK, off to cuddle my kitten.