Let’s take a quick break from all that gamer aggro to take a quick peek at the CreepyPM subreddit, where we find this lovely little Grindr exchange, posted by Jacob of rniraclewhip.tumblr.com, featuring a man with a strange question:
I think our questioner was just being kind here, pretending that he actually was asking about ass size. No, his question was actually a very clever literary reference that went over Jacob’s head but which I picked up right away because I am so very, very smart.
It’s a reference to a famous scene in Death of a Salesman. Biff Loman is telling his brother Happy about a job interview that didn’t quite go as planned.
BIFF (breathlessly): I did a terrible thing today, Hap. It’s been the strangest day I ever went through. I’m all numb, I swear.
HAPPY: You mean he wouldn’t see you?
BIFF: Well, I waited six hours for him, see? All day. Kept sending my name in. Even tried to date his secretary so she’d get me to him, but no soap.
HAPPY: Because you’re not showin’ the old confidence, Biff. He remembered you, didn’t he?
BIFF (stopping Happy with a gesture): Finally, about five o’clock, he comes out. Didn’t remember who I was or anything. I felt like such an idiot, Hap.
HAPPY: Did you tell him my Florida idea?
BIFF: He walked away. I saw him for one minute. I got so mad I could’ve torn the walls down! How the hell did I ever get the idea I was a salesman there? I even believed myself that I’d been a salesman for him! And then he gave me one look and — I realized what a ridiculous lie my whole life has been! We’ve been talking in a dream for fifteen years. I was a shipping clerk.
HAPPY: What’d you do?
BIFF (with great tension and wonder): Well, he left, see. And the secretary went out. I was all alone in the waiting room. I don’t know what came over me, Hap. The next thing I know I’m in his office — paneled walls, everything. I can’t explain it. I — Hap, I took his fountain pen.
HAPPY: (Angrily.) Is u ass, bif?
Is you ass, bif?
This is truly the question of our time.
EDIT: Ok, I changed the Death of a Salesman quote. Dammit, this dopey joke is funny to ME.
Well I can’t make sense of that, any smart people in the comments who can enlighten me?
Hello? Hello? Anybody home? McFly?
Grindr is a gay male hookup app, right?
Yes. Biff applied for a job there but didn’t get it because he stole a pen.
I no get.
Well I can’t make sense of that, any smart people in the comments who can enlighten me?
This is clearly a case of a conversation on philosophy.
The first individual asked the second if an assumption used in a previous argument was based in fact.
The second wondered why the question was asked.
The first individual suggested that perhaps this assumption was pretty large.
The second individual replied implying that he had asked the first individual for a critique of the logical argument, NOT for comment on the predicates chosen for that argument.
And the first individual told him to fuck off.
My ass is big, but it is not Biff.
I would never, ever name my ass Biff.
http://youtu.be/NcpBqlBsR6c
I probably should have gone with a Back to the Future joke.
Anyhoo, I changed the Deah of a Salesman quote.
Ah well, it’s funny to me.
If someone messaged me asking if my ass was biff I’d be so confused.
Well, my ass might be Biff naked?
Okay, I’ll go ahead and be the first to step up: my ass is bif.
And you all know that probably 40% of you also have a bif ass. We can only destroy the stigma around bif asses if we talk about it! We have to break this culture of silence that surrounds the bif ass.
I would have thought he meant buff, but no.
Is u ass Bic?
cloudiah wins the thread!
Actually I think this is all a cunning plan by the Confused Cats to spread the confusion around.
Confusion loves company. 🙂
The thing that baffles me (beyond the nonsensical question itself) is the idea of asking someone – much less a total stranger – about their body parts. Yeah, dating site, whatever, it’s still brain-breaking stuff to me.
Nice one,cloudiah! I do enjoy me some play on words type jokes.
Biff is also the name of a company that makes outhouses.
http://www.biffsinc.com/images/sub/equipment_07.jpg
“Is u” always brings that damn song back and gets it stuck in my head again.
Just don’t rename the blog “Is u ass bif?”.
Obscure jokes are obscure!
Is “Death of a Salesman” really obscure though, I mean it is to me personally since I’ve never been able to sit through it myself without nodding off. Still it is a really well known American play.
The play’s not obscure, but how many people (outside the US at any rate) would remember the sons’ names? I’d be able to name Willy Loman if asked, but if I’d had to recall the other characters’ names, it would have been a struggle. I had to do it in English at high school, but that was in the 70s and I’ve never watched nor read it since.
I was an English major so maybe that disqualifies me, but I was very entertained by both the original and current versions of this joke.
I read this play in high school and always remember his name because I thought it was so heavy handed.
Speaking of jokes I don’t get, is there a reason bikes keep coming up over on confused cats?