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Of all the loopy manifestos that this whole #GamerGate fiasco has inspired, I think this loopy manifesto, posted several days ago to the Men’s Rights subreddit to a smattering of upvotes, is probably my favorite.
Take it away, trudatness:
Think about what really went down in gaming journalism – not on the micro level, but on the macro level.
The most left-wing journalism companies happily filled the gaming journalism void. Think about it…
The most virulent lavender menace feminist laced industry on the planet began covering an industry whose target audience was comprised of somewhat socially awkward young men.
Hey what could go wrong?
Answer: Everything.
Woah, hate to be a stickler for stuff that actually makes sense, but if you’re going to use a homophobic slur to describe your opponents, make sure you pick the correct homophobic slur. The phrase “lavender menace” originated as an insult aimed at lesbians in the feminist movement; the term was later reclaimed by lesbian feminists. Whether as as a slur or as an honorific, I’m pretty sure the term is not a terribly apt description of the dude-dominated world of video game journalism, as dudes cannot actually be lesbians.
The video game online journalism industry hates gamers. They made no bones about that fact when they coordinated a drop of nearly a dozen articles eulogizing the gamer.
Er, a eulogy is “a speech or writing in praise of a person or thing, especially a set oration in honor of a deceased person.” I think what you meant to say is that there were a bunch of articles proclaiming the death of the traditional self-described “gamer.” Most of these articles were not full of hate for games, or for people who play games, but only for self-proclaimed “gamers” who want gaming to be a preserve of adolescent (and overgrown adolescent) dudes.
If you hate gamers, then why cover gaming?
Answer: There’s only so much money you can make covering gay pride parades.
Not true. It’s a little known historical fact that John D. Rockefeller Sr. made his fortune covering gay pride parades.
Wait, I am being told that John D. Rockefeller Sr. actually made his fortune by founding Standard Oil, and that there weren’t actually any gay pride parades anywhere until decades after he died.
I need to stop getting all my information from IncorrectGayOPedia.
So these twisted totalitarianists decided they were going to take an industry – a humble hobbyist collective that had grown into a billion dollar industry – and simply evict the current tenants with bullying, shaming and sexual coercion. They were going to move in, via takeover, bringing all their talentless cronies in with them.
THE LAVENDER TOTALITARIANISTS ARE COMING FOR YOUR GAMES!!
What better way to deal with the gamers you hate, by shaming them into subservience? These 3rd wavers wanted to co-opt gaming and turn it into their vehicle of propaganda, dictating to designers what is to be produced.
Apparently mentioning that many games contain sexist elements is the same as ordering designers to replace Call of Duty: Black Ops with Call of Duty: Kill All Men.
Who the fuck do these people think they are? They truly intended to force gaming hobbyists into kowtowing and accepting their dogmas.
This is what feminism does.
It’s true. Feminism has always been about fucking with hobbyists. Who can forget Mary Wollstonecraft’s famous A Vindication of the Rights of Women to Force Dudes to Play Sissy Facebook Games Like,You Know, Farmville or Some Shit?
Egalitarianism? Hardly? More like Machiavellianism. They want to control the masses and superimpose their value system onto people by force.
That’s right: Anita Sarkeesian has actually been using her Kickstarter money to fund the training of an elite core of feminist commandos who will soon be dispatched to mother’s basements across the nation to pry copies of Grand Theft Auto V from the hands of true gaming heroes.
They cannot let the truth of their message speak for itself.
Hard to do when all you do is front out lies. …
Look at the so-called game reviews… They aren’t game reviews. They are social justice critiques. Does the game get the feminist lavender menace seal of SJW approval?
I would actually love to see a Feminist Lavender Menace Seal of SJW Approval. Could someone draw me one?
Tsk, tsk, tsk… Those women have too big of boobs… Not enough “realistic woman” protagonists… That’s Sexist!
Pretty soon all games are going to require that all game characters are lesbian or trans-gendered and run around fighting the patriarchy or some dumb shit like that.
Yep. Soon all red-blooded young men will be forced to play all games as Lesbian Lara Croft.
Do you want to kill some zombies or get lost in an RPG fantasy? Play a little PvP? I hope you like tumblr-style fat-acceptance friendly avatars.
Make that FAT Lesbian Lara Croft.
This is the twisted fucking world they live in – and they want to make every single gamer out there accept their worldview.
It’s time for the tail to stop wagging the dog.
It’s time to full on evict SJWs from the gaming world.
Not if we sit on you first.
EDIT: Ok, ok, I fixed the terrible typo in the headline. But speaking of LAVENDER menaces, Leocigale has provided us with this wonderful Feminist Lavender Menace Seal of SJW Approval, which will now go in the sidebar. (There were several other excel
lent Seals of Approval submitted, but this one has an actual adorable seal it it!)
Leocigale: Isn’t that a bit on the nose. Or are you just on the ball?
…I’ll see myself out.
It was a while ago, but if I remember correctly he has to use a specific word (I don’t remember which) in sentence and write three relevant comments without talking about his favorite MRA leader.
So, quilting was considered a humble hobby that has since grown into a multi-billion dollar industry. When will the SJW Lavender Menace takeover of quilting be? ‘Cause I’d really like to make a quilt with fabrics with the Feminist Lavender Menace Seal of Approval on them. Seriously, leocigale’s seal is awesome.
And, as with everyone, I’m really confused as to how having playable characters who aren’t macho white men or pointing out that video games tend to portray women in sexist, objectified ways is equal to totalitarianism.
RE: deniseeliza
I don’t feel like the game is condemning Booker for murdering his way through the city when you’re actually playing the game.
You know, this is actually something I APPRECIATED about the Alice games. In the second game in particular, it’s hammered in that Alice is extremely violent in headspace, but completely harmless in real life. She hurts exactly ONE corporeal person in the games, and it’s made explicit that killing him is her only option. Heavily implied are the consequences; Alice will likely lose everything, and her grip on reality seems to have deteriorated further. I actually really appreciated that.
RE: BigMomma
My gaming partner wanted to quit Riven, but I was determined to plow through it. Afterward, we definitely agreed not to play any more Myst games.
Alice 1 is good, but it has REALLY clunky controls, due to time period. I couldn’t get through it. It comes free with Alice: Madness Returns (PS3/Xbox/PC), and you can also settle for watching a Let’s Play of it. (I recommend Lotus Prince’s.) It’s a platformer with a lot of gore and horror trappings. Gigi adores it.
RE: The Lady Zombie
Five Nights at Freddie’s is freaking me out and frustrating the hell out of me. Has anyone here cracked it yet?! If so, HINTS!
Oh my gosh, I loved Freddie’s. (Though I only watched Let’s Plays.) I do have some hints! Don’t know how far you’re in, but: Freddie only comes if you run out of power, so you can leave him alone. Ducky only comes to the right door, tends to take longer to get there, and also longer to leave. Bunny only comes to the left door, tends to move faster than Ducky, but he’ll also leave faster. As for Foxy, he will sprint straight for you if you check on him too much OR too little. You have to find the happy medium.
@LBT
Isn’t Foxy also kind of the “hidden” one? I heard he wasn’t in any actual details so he just sorta surprised people.
Also man I’m amazed anyone managed the all 20 AI night, much less at least two people.
@LBT Just saw your Zork and Monkey Island mentions OH LORD HOW I LOVE THEM! I’ve been playing those games since I was just a wee thing, they’re pretty much my childhood. I loved Zork: Grand Inquisitor, really good voice acting. Haven’t played the rebooted Monkey Island yet, I kinda prefer the super-pixelated original.
RE: Broken Butterfly
Yeah, Foxy isn’t mentioned until Night 2. She was definitely an unpleasant surprise to a lot of people!
I am also impressed at folks being able to beat Night 7 on 20. Seriously, it seems beyond intense.
RE: saphy
I actually have only played Zork: Nemesis. I don’t know any other Zork game, much to my embarrassment. I really liked Nemesis, though, more than I liked Myst or Riven!
@LBT
Wait, I thought Foxy was a guy? I remember everything I read labeled him as a guy… and Bunny as the girl.
Though I guess creepy haunted animatronics don’t really have genders anyway.
RE: Broken Butterfly
Enh, just for fun, I coded them all female. I mean, they’re murderous animatronics, gender pronouns likely aren’t particularly important to them.
@LBT
Nonsense, murderous animatronics are always just shrugged off for being murderous animatronics! We need to take a stand! Talk to them!
You go up and ask them questions and I’ll hold the mic and try to get their answers between your agonized screams of pain.
RE: Broken Butterfly
*snrk* Well, if you follow the hidden story, the animatronics are possessed by four children, and the odds of all four being one gender seems kinda stretching probability. (Especially since, if the news articles say ‘children’ and not ‘boys’ or ‘girls’ it means that it was a mixed group.)
Ergo, because my logic-y logic of rationality, at least one of those three animatronics are female! (Only not really, because the story is optional and the animatronics don’t actually exist and don’t seem to communicate except through that HORRIBLE NOISE.)
@LBT
The noise aahhhhggg. >_< It's horrible.
I actually tried watching the game but it… freaks me out. 8D I'M PRETTY GOOD WATCHING HORROR GAMES but I can't ever play the things and I'm always screaming like a little girl.
RE: Broken Butterfly
I followed Markiplier’s Let’s Play; he’s silly enough and loud enough to break up the tension.
(Also because sometimes it’s just so satisfying seeing a grown man scream in terror, especially when you know they’re enjoying the experience too.)
@LBT
Ah, Markiplier. One of my favorite LPers of all time because he’s just kind of over the top naturally. He doesn’t bother to reign it in, but like I told a friend I know he doesn’t actually SCRIPT anything either.
He goes into this stuff blind and it’s fantastic. It helps that his voice is liquid silk when he talks normally too.
RE: Broken Butterfly
For me, it depends what I want. Lotus Prince is my other go-to, and he tends to be way, WAY more understated. He really wants to give his viewers an immersive experience, so he tends to keep his mouth shut, and when he does talk, he will often give out cool trivia like details about the game, its creators, how he first came to play it, stuff like that.
He also is possibly the most emotionally restrained Let’s Player of horror games I’ve seen. I watched him play Amnesia: the Dark Descent, and I think the biggest reaction it got out of him was complete freeze, then, a few seconds later: “this game is a dick.” Maybe a “Jeez!” He doesn’t have markiplier’s radio announcer voice, but his voice is actually really calm and soothing, which gives his plays a totally different flavor. He’s also WAY more lax with cuts than Markiplier is, so his plays run longer.
Basically, I go to Lotus Prince when I really want to get sucked into the game. I go to Markiplier when a game is so terrifying that I need his constant blathering to stay in my seat. And their weaknesses are polar opposites: Markiplier can sometimes be too hyperkinetic for me, while Lotus Prince I sometimes wish would cut more of his grinding or figuring out a puzzle.
@LBT
The problem I find with Lotus Prince is that the whole reason I can’t play horror games is that I get… way too scared if I don’t have a distraction and he’s not really giving one. I think he’s an awesome guy, but I think Markiplier’s cuts are pretty good; watching someone redo the same thing over and over isn’t exactly fun. XD
Which… you said anyway so yes! I actually agree, that sounds about like how I’d think of it too. I think I tried to watch his Corpse Party LP and just… had so much trouble because I was annoyed with Lotus Prince. Good voice but man, dude, just… yeah. XD
RE: Broken Butterfly
Yeah, I remember Corpse Party. He definitely spent a lot of time walking around. I usually don’t mind watching him work out puzzles because it’s fun to pitch my wits against his and try and figure it out before him, but sometimes if he really has trouble, I can zone out a bit.
And I have a pretty high tolerance for psychological horror. It’s only stuff like Five Nights at Freddy’s that I needed Markiplier for.
@LBT
You got me beat there. I wet myself at Silent Hill.
It’s okay, Broken Butterfly. I can’t handle jump scares or gore AT ALL. It’s only psychological horror I’m a tank for. (Which was why Fight Nights at Freddy’s did me so bad; oh god, the jump scare! THAT NOISE! D8 )
UG JUMP SCARES
Actually, jump scares make it hard for me to watch things too. Psychological horror still gets me bad but I can at least watch those, it’s the BOO thing that makes me unable to do much with it.
@LBT I couldn’t handle Myst, so infuriating and isolating, I’m just not psychologically prepared for that kind of solitary journey through dreamscape. My mum finished it, though, She was very pleased with herself. Good work, mum!
Game rec: Broken Age.
Not typing anynore. Bye.
jlupm scares hurt for daaaays. I throw out my basck.
Haary potte r made me call one sick because of jump safe.
Sorry. stopping nowe.