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#GamerGate Showdown! The Lavender Menace vs. the Somewhat Socially Awkward Young Men

In the future, young men will be forced to play all video games as Fat Lara Croft.
In the future, young men will be forced to play all video games as Fat Lara Croft.

The We Hunted the Mammoth Pledge Drive continues! If you haven’t already, please consider sending some bucks my way. (And don’t worry that the PayPal page says Man Boobz.) Thanks!

Of all the loopy manifestos that this whole #GamerGate fiasco has inspired, I think this loopy manifesto, posted several days ago to the Men’s Rights subreddit to a smattering of upvotes, is probably my favorite.

Take it away, trudatness:

Think about what really went down in gaming journalism – not on the micro level, but on the macro level.

The most left-wing journalism companies happily filled the gaming journalism void. Think about it…

The most virulent lavender menace feminist laced industry on the planet began covering an industry whose target audience was comprised of somewhat socially awkward young men.

Hey what could go wrong?

Answer: Everything.

Woah, hate to be a stickler for stuff that actually makes sense, but if you’re going to use a homophobic slur to describe your opponents, make sure you pick the correct homophobic slur. The phrase “lavender menace” originated as an insult aimed at lesbians in the feminist movement; the term was later reclaimed by lesbian feminists. Whether as as a slur or as an honorific, I’m pretty sure the term is not a terribly apt description of the dude-dominated world of video game journalism, as dudes cannot actually be lesbians.

The video game online journalism industry hates gamers. They made no bones about that fact when they coordinated a drop of nearly a dozen articles eulogizing the gamer.

Er, a eulogy is a speech or writing in praise of a person or thing, especially a set oration in honor of a deceased person.” I think what you meant to say is that there were a bunch of articles proclaiming the death of the traditional self-described “gamer.” Most of these articles were not full of hate for games, or for people who play games, but only for self-proclaimed “gamers” who want gaming to be a preserve of adolescent (and overgrown adolescent) dudes.

If you hate gamers, then why cover gaming?

Answer: There’s only so much money you can make covering gay pride parades.

Not true. It’s a little known historical fact that John D. Rockefeller Sr. made his fortune covering gay pride parades.

Wait, I am being told that John D. Rockefeller Sr. actually made his fortune by founding Standard Oil, and that there weren’t actually any gay pride parades anywhere until decades after he died.

I need to stop getting all my information from IncorrectGayOPedia.

So these twisted totalitarianists decided they were going to take an industry – a humble hobbyist collective that had grown into a billion dollar industry – and simply evict the current tenants with bullying, shaming and sexual coercion. They were going to move in, via takeover, bringing all their talentless cronies in with them.

THE LAVENDER TOTALITARIANISTS ARE COMING FOR YOUR GAMES!!

What better way to deal with the gamers you hate, by shaming them into subservience? These 3rd wavers wanted to co-opt gaming and turn it into their vehicle of propaganda, dictating to designers what is to be produced.

Apparently mentioning that many games contain sexist elements is the same as ordering designers to replace Call of Duty: Black Ops with Call of Duty: Kill All Men.

Who the fuck do these people think they are? They truly intended to force gaming hobbyists into kowtowing and accepting their dogmas.

This is what feminism does.

It’s true. Feminism has always been about fucking with hobbyists. Who can forget Mary Wollstonecraft’s famous A Vindication of the Rights of Women to Force Dudes to Play Sissy Facebook Games Like,You Know, Farmville or Some Shit?

Egalitarianism? Hardly? More like Machiavellianism. They want to control the masses and superimpose their value system onto people by force.

That’s right: Anita Sarkeesian has actually been using her Kickstarter money to fund the training of an elite core of feminist commandos who will soon be dispatched to mother’s basements across the nation to pry copies of Grand Theft Auto V from the hands of true gaming heroes.

They cannot let the truth of their message speak for itself.

Hard to do when all you do is front out lies. …

Look at the so-called game reviews… They aren’t game reviews. They are social justice critiques. Does the game get the feminist lavender menace seal of SJW approval?

I would actually love to see a Feminist Lavender Menace Seal of SJW Approval. Could someone draw me one?

Tsk, tsk, tsk… Those women have too big of boobs… Not enough “realistic woman” protagonists… That’s Sexist!

Pretty soon all games are going to require that all game characters are lesbian or trans-gendered and run around fighting the patriarchy or some dumb shit like that.

Yep. Soon all red-blooded young men will be forced to play all games as Lesbian Lara Croft.

Do you want to kill some zombies or get lost in an RPG fantasy? Play a little PvP? I hope you like tumblr-style fat-acceptance friendly avatars.

Make that FAT Lesbian Lara Croft.

This is the twisted fucking world they live in – and they want to make every single gamer out there accept their worldview.

It’s time for the tail to stop wagging the dog.

It’s time to full on evict SJWs from the gaming world.

Not if we sit on you first.

EDIT: Ok, ok, I fixed the terrible typo in the headline. But speaking of LAVENDER menaces, Leocigale has provided us with this wonderful Feminist Lavender Menace Seal of SJW Approval, which will now go in the sidebar. (There were several other excel
lent Seals of Approval submitted, but this one has an actual adorable seal it it!)

Arf arf!
Arf arf!
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LBT (with an open writeathon!)

It is times like this that I wave my little Roberta Williams flag and shout about how women were ALWAYS in games, and it’s not our fault stupid little gamerbros don’t know their goddamn HISTORY.

saphy
saphy
10 years ago

@Wetherby: as the partner of a red-faced Scotsman who owns and sometimes wears a kilt, I have to disagree, and will duel you to defend his honour and that of his rosy-cheeked countrymen!
I really just read McTavish’s whole little speech there as a single Nazgul screech.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

If he’s a Nazgul I’m stealing his horse. Those horses are much too cool for the likes of him.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

(Plus I can actually ride, which he probably can’t.)

grumpycatisagirl
grumpycatisagirl
10 years ago

I love your lavender seal, leocigale!

At least you can tell the pizza slice is supposed to be a pizza slice.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

Would have to be some seriously stale pizza, though, to be held like that and not bend. Maybe she can use it as a sort of improvised discus if she’s attacked.

saphy
saphy
10 years ago

@cassandrakitty Like Xena with with pizza – ohmygod that’s my perfect night in described right there.

ceebarks
ceebarks
10 years ago

Is that a jug of kitty litter?! lmao! I love it. I’m not a diehard gamer so the whole thing is extra puzzling from outside but I did play Depression Quest last night after reading some of Quinn’s tweets last night.

Shiraz
Shiraz
10 years ago

I remember arcades. I remember girls in those arcades along with guys.
Were all of these mobbers born after the ’90s? Maybe so? I dunno.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

Anita Sarkeesian implanted false memories of playing arcade games as a child in my head as part of a fiendish plan to destroy True Gamers.

Alex
10 years ago

I don’t know if it’s needed, but I come bearing a gift! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cdD2SMaNGY

Alex
10 years ago

*It’s a cat doing tricks

Shiraz
Shiraz
10 years ago

@Cassandra:

“Anita Sarkeesian implanted false memories of playing arcade games as a child in my head as part of a fiendish plan to destroy True Gamers.”

So, we’re like Manchurian Candidates! Holy shit balls!

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
10 years ago

I thought the jug looked like something industrial, like molasses or lecithin.

You and you ilk can throw all the temper tantrums disguised as “mocking” us and stomp and drag your feet as much as you want. The fact of the matter is that you are not stopping #gamergate.

Not sure why anyone would want to stop it. Hateful people displaying their true colors never gets old.

The demands of the legions of gamers angry at the corruption of games journalism will be met. The games industry is changing for the better, and we don’t care if we have to drag you assholes kicking and screaming to make it happen. We all know the smug arrogance and “ridiculing” is nothing more than a bullshit facade to disguise the fact that you and the game journalists are not only losers, but are LOSING. And no amount of bullying, redirection or intellectual dishonesty from your side is going to change that.

I like to think of things like this as coming through interspace from the Mirror Universe. In the Mirror Universe, the chaotic-evil Terran Empire has dominated the galactic gaming industry and turned it into an indoctrination mechanism, training young minds in violence and xenophobia. A small and courageous band of indie game developers and game enthusiasts, decentralized and coming from all races and all walks of life, have created the #GamerGate hashtag to oppose the Imperial might and tear the gaming industry out of the Empire’s claws.

The above is the final speech of a brave Andorian #GamerGater just before she was tied to a photon torpedo and shot into the sun.

deniseeliza
deniseeliza
10 years ago

I just don’t get why gamebros are so upset about people having choices. They get all excited about character customization options, but it’s just horrible to allow people to choose to play as anything other than a buff, grizzled white dude?

I got The Sims 4 this week and was annoyed that there are very few make-up options for male characters. I went to the internet to see if there were any plans to add it, or if anyone had come up with a mod or extra content to allow dudes to wear makeup. I found a thread full of people saying that men shouldn’t be allowed to wear makeup in The Sims because it’s just wrong and most men don’t wear make up in real life therefore it shouldn’t be in The Sims. Even though in past versions of The Sims, men have had the exact same makeup options as women.

Someone even went on to make a ridiculous slippery slope argument about how next they’ll want the men to be able to wear the women’s clothing and have breasts and everything!! And I’m thinking, well, why not?? What is it about letting others create the characters they want that makes these guys so mad?

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

Maybe they think that if they can just control what options are available in their gaming environments that will somehow stop the actual world around them from changing in ways they find scary, or at least give them a place to hide from reality.

Actually, you know, I think that’s exactly what’s going on.

saphy
saphy
10 years ago

@deniseeliza, I’ve heard only disappointing things since the release of TS4 but this is the first time someone has mentioned that, and I have to say I am pissed about it. How hard would it be to transfer cosmetics options to male sims too? I think EA was pretty damn lazy with this one. Have you found a good mod?

/simsrant

emilygoddess - MOD
emilygoddess - MOD
10 years ago

This is the twisted fucking world they live in

What, the one where there actually are trans people and lesbians and fat people and not everyone is a muscly macho cishet man who shoots things? I thought that was called “reality”.

What’s that jug Fat Lara is holding? If it’s supposed to be some sort of fattening beverage, it doesn’t look like it.

It looks like a jug of milk – whole milk, judging by the red cap.

Binjabreel
10 years ago

In my time wading through #gamergate on twitter I found this great account, @shamergate, when he retweeted the “psychology isn’t science.”
On his page: “if I retweet you, that means you’re horrible.”

also, @alrightanon gave up sometime yesterday when I buried him in actual citations. He tried to dismiss one by saying “well that article’s editor was once selling influence on reddit and might be a nazi”

Seriously, the arguments just got more and more pathetic.

mythago
10 years ago

@cassandrakitty: I think you’re right. Having those options in-game reminds them that people exist who might WANT those options, and that’s terrifying. They want to hide from that world and play in a universe where the only power fantasy available is the one featuring them.

Unimaginative
10 years ago

Maybe they think that if they can just control what options are available in their gaming environments that will somehow stop the actual world around them from changing in ways they find scary, or at least give them a place to hide from reality.

Actually, you know, I think that’s exactly what’s going on.

I was just thinking that. Class signs of pushback against social progress.

Malitia
Malitia
10 years ago

leocigale’s seal is much cooler than mine. 🙁 YAY o/ 😀

emilygoddess - MOD
emilygoddess - MOD
10 years ago

WWTH, Reddit has a history of valuing freeze peach over all else. It’s the same reason they took so long to crack down on Creepshots. Frankly, that they did anything at all about The Fappening really surprises me.

That statement sounds like a call for creating intentional and self-policing communities, but I always got more of a Libertarian vibe from them TBH.

I can’t even see pregnant, she just looks inflated. Like she plugged a helium tank into her belly button.

Or like someone just plugged her into an image editing program and spent all of two seconds enlarging that area.

When MacTavish (who I naturally imagine as a red-faced shouty Scotsman in a kilt) says “The games industry is changing for the better”, what does he actually mean?

Because he sounds very much as though he’s representing the side of the argument that couldn’t be more fervently against any kind of change.

it’s got a real Doublethink vibe, doesn’t it? Not only are we currently being oppressed, we have always been the oppressed ones.

I really just read McTavish’s whole little speech there as a single Nazgul screech.

Sounded more like young Simba’s “roar” to me. Someday you’ll be big and scary, MacTavish! Someday!

Someone even went on to make a ridiculous slippery slope argument about how next they’ll want the men to be able to wear the women’s clothing and have breasts and everything!! And I’m thinking, well, why not?? What is it about letting others create the characters they want that makes these guys so mad?

“Somewhere in the world, there is a blob of data representing a Sim who had been designated ‘male’ but who has boobs and wears makeup, and this will destroy civilization somehow!” Yeah, IDGI either.

Johanna Roberts
10 years ago

@MacTavish

LOL, no. Honestly you and other gamer guys will never convince me – someone who likely has been gaming LONGER THAN YOU HAVE that this was about anything other than sexism. Because that’s all it is.

mythago
10 years ago

@emilygoddess – probably because some of the stolen photos were legally child pornography. That’s the one thing reddit doesn’t want, because posting that shit would cost them money ultimately.