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#GamerGate Showdown! The Lavender Menace vs. the Somewhat Socially Awkward Young Men

In the future, young men will be forced to play all video games as Fat Lara Croft.
In the future, young men will be forced to play all video games as Fat Lara Croft.

The We Hunted the Mammoth Pledge Drive continues! If you haven’t already, please consider sending some bucks my way. (And don’t worry that the PayPal page says Man Boobz.) Thanks!

Of all the loopy manifestos that this whole #GamerGate fiasco has inspired, I think this loopy manifesto, posted several days ago to the Men’s Rights subreddit to a smattering of upvotes, is probably my favorite.

Take it away, trudatness:

Think about what really went down in gaming journalism – not on the micro level, but on the macro level.

The most left-wing journalism companies happily filled the gaming journalism void. Think about it…

The most virulent lavender menace feminist laced industry on the planet began covering an industry whose target audience was comprised of somewhat socially awkward young men.

Hey what could go wrong?

Answer: Everything.

Woah, hate to be a stickler for stuff that actually makes sense, but if you’re going to use a homophobic slur to describe your opponents, make sure you pick the correct homophobic slur. The phrase “lavender menace” originated as an insult aimed at lesbians in the feminist movement; the term was later reclaimed by lesbian feminists. Whether as as a slur or as an honorific, I’m pretty sure the term is not a terribly apt description of the dude-dominated world of video game journalism, as dudes cannot actually be lesbians.

The video game online journalism industry hates gamers. They made no bones about that fact when they coordinated a drop of nearly a dozen articles eulogizing the gamer.

Er, a eulogy is a speech or writing in praise of a person or thing, especially a set oration in honor of a deceased person.” I think what you meant to say is that there were a bunch of articles proclaiming the death of the traditional self-described “gamer.” Most of these articles were not full of hate for games, or for people who play games, but only for self-proclaimed “gamers” who want gaming to be a preserve of adolescent (and overgrown adolescent) dudes.

If you hate gamers, then why cover gaming?

Answer: There’s only so much money you can make covering gay pride parades.

Not true. It’s a little known historical fact that John D. Rockefeller Sr. made his fortune covering gay pride parades.

Wait, I am being told that John D. Rockefeller Sr. actually made his fortune by founding Standard Oil, and that there weren’t actually any gay pride parades anywhere until decades after he died.

I need to stop getting all my information from IncorrectGayOPedia.

So these twisted totalitarianists decided they were going to take an industry – a humble hobbyist collective that had grown into a billion dollar industry – and simply evict the current tenants with bullying, shaming and sexual coercion. They were going to move in, via takeover, bringing all their talentless cronies in with them.

THE LAVENDER TOTALITARIANISTS ARE COMING FOR YOUR GAMES!!

What better way to deal with the gamers you hate, by shaming them into subservience? These 3rd wavers wanted to co-opt gaming and turn it into their vehicle of propaganda, dictating to designers what is to be produced.

Apparently mentioning that many games contain sexist elements is the same as ordering designers to replace Call of Duty: Black Ops with Call of Duty: Kill All Men.

Who the fuck do these people think they are? They truly intended to force gaming hobbyists into kowtowing and accepting their dogmas.

This is what feminism does.

It’s true. Feminism has always been about fucking with hobbyists. Who can forget Mary Wollstonecraft’s famous A Vindication of the Rights of Women to Force Dudes to Play Sissy Facebook Games Like,You Know, Farmville or Some Shit?

Egalitarianism? Hardly? More like Machiavellianism. They want to control the masses and superimpose their value system onto people by force.

That’s right: Anita Sarkeesian has actually been using her Kickstarter money to fund the training of an elite core of feminist commandos who will soon be dispatched to mother’s basements across the nation to pry copies of Grand Theft Auto V from the hands of true gaming heroes.

They cannot let the truth of their message speak for itself.

Hard to do when all you do is front out lies. …

Look at the so-called game reviews… They aren’t game reviews. They are social justice critiques. Does the game get the feminist lavender menace seal of SJW approval?

I would actually love to see a Feminist Lavender Menace Seal of SJW Approval. Could someone draw me one?

Tsk, tsk, tsk… Those women have too big of boobs… Not enough “realistic woman” protagonists… That’s Sexist!

Pretty soon all games are going to require that all game characters are lesbian or trans-gendered and run around fighting the patriarchy or some dumb shit like that.

Yep. Soon all red-blooded young men will be forced to play all games as Lesbian Lara Croft.

Do you want to kill some zombies or get lost in an RPG fantasy? Play a little PvP? I hope you like tumblr-style fat-acceptance friendly avatars.

Make that FAT Lesbian Lara Croft.

This is the twisted fucking world they live in – and they want to make every single gamer out there accept their worldview.

It’s time for the tail to stop wagging the dog.

It’s time to full on evict SJWs from the gaming world.

Not if we sit on you first.

EDIT: Ok, ok, I fixed the terrible typo in the headline. But speaking of LAVENDER menaces, Leocigale has provided us with this wonderful Feminist Lavender Menace Seal of SJW Approval, which will now go in the sidebar. (There were several other excel
lent Seals of Approval submitted, but this one has an actual adorable seal it it!)

Arf arf!
Arf arf!
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Aunt Edna
Aunt Edna
6 years ago

Whoever created the “fat” Lara does not have much familiarity with women, or reality, for that matter. This Lara looks pregnant and not fat.

Either that, or she’s exhibiting the male pattern of fat distribution, which inexplicably, for a woman, is concentrated only in her belly.

Zolnier
Zolnier
6 years ago

Ah flashbacks to browsing devientart with the filter off! And video games somehow altering themselves when sexists play them so they must play as marginalised groups would be kind of awesome. The middle finger subroutine.

slivarth
6 years ago

He is even funnier in the comments below ‘the manifesto’. “Gamers have created a virtual world to explore their fantasies. You hate their fantasies. You hate gamers.” Infallible logic.

Karalora
6 years ago

What’s that jug Fat Lara is holding? If it’s supposed to be some sort of fattening beverage, it doesn’t look like it. It looks like either laundry detergent or cat litter. I guess you get a “lol fat ugly feminist alone with her cats” joke out of the latter, but it seems like a long way to go for a joke when they could have just made it an obvious three-liter soda bottle.

BelleChatonne
BelleChatonne
6 years ago

@AuntEdna, I thought the same thing. Fat Lara looks like she is pregnant with octuplets, not fat. Either that, or her normal head was put on the body of a very overweight man. It’s pretty clear that these dudes have no clue about women’s bodies or anatomy in general. I suppose that’s hardly surprising, though, considering the source.

MacTavish
MacTavish
6 years ago

@DavidFutrelle
You and you ilk can throw all the temper tantrums disguised as “mocking” us and stomp and drag your feet as much as you want. The fact of the matter is that you are not stopping #gamergate. The demands of the legions of gamers angry at the corruption of games journalism will be met. The games industry is changing for the better, and we don’t care if we have to drag you assholes kicking and screaming to make it happen. We all know the smug arrogance and “ridiculing” is nothing more than a bullshit facade to disguise the fact that you and the game journalists are not only losers, but are LOSING. And no amount of bullying, redirection or intellectual dishonesty from your side is going to change that.

bluecatbabe
bluecatbabe
6 years ago

“Lavender menace” just reminded me I need to cut back the lavender on the allotment. This time of year it gets a bit leggy and starts preventing dudes from playing misogynist games… or do I mean sprawls over the potato patch?

dorabella
dorabella
6 years ago

One thing that I found particularly fascinating is their admission of incompetence. They say “The most left-wing journalism companies happily filled the gaming journalism void.” Now, let’s think about that: why was there a void? Because the likes of them are totally incapable of doing anything even remotely close to “journalism”.
They accuse the feminists to do what exactly? Write articles, books, blogs, and make games, and in general talk about their ideas about gaming. Why on earth couldn’t the self-appointed “gamers” do the same? Why don’t they write their own articles on newspapers and magazines?
Oh, right, because there is a world-wide conspiracy against them and nobody will publish them, silly me, I forgot.

Amnesia
Amnesia
6 years ago

You know what’s telling? In a lot of these guy’s ‘worst case scenarios,’ the worst case is actually no worse than what the non-pandered-to demographics have to put up with already. I mean, if you’re a lesbian WOC gamer, for instance, you’d have to play as a straight white male in most of the games.

Lea
Lea
6 years ago

Soooo funny, David!

I have one question?

Do you think it is too late to put together a Lavender Menace superhero costume for Halloween?

Karalora
6 years ago

@Amnesia

Right??? It’s true what they say: A bigot’s worst fear is being treated the way they currently treat the targets of their bigotry.

Anarchonist
Anarchonist
6 years ago

Hope the following doesn’t sound mansplainy, but I’m not really on board with the idea that all women have a set pattern by which they gain weight. My SO (cis woman, fairly short and stocky build) collects fat around the belly easier than anywhere else.

Not saying that the pic above is anatomically correct by a long shot, but still.

mythago
6 years ago

@Lea: Heck no.

@dorabella: After all, the worldwide conspiracy is their only hope. You can, at least in your heroic fantasies, expose and fight an evil conspiracy. Things you can’t fight? The market. The inexorable forces of social change.

Because that is what’s really going on here. It’s not that EA or Deep Silver or any other gaming company is being infiltrated by lavender Zind. It’s that these companies have figured out a few things:

1) There are a lot of ladies who have money which they would like to spend on games. (Also, dudes who are pro-lady, ditto.)
2) There are a lot of games out there, yo. Ladies therefore have choices on where their money go.
3) When your games do not suggest they were designed and developed by dudes who think “No Fat Chicks” bumper stickers are the height of funny, ladies are much more likely to buy your game.
4) Your competitors are aware of this, also, and if their games are more appealing to ladies, guess where that money goes.
5) Also, your supply of dudes who will buy any old games as long as it has big guns and a jubbly engine is limited.
6) You will probably end up with a better game if you spend resources on squashing bugs and developing exciting gameplay than on making sure all the female NPCs have nice asses.

I mean, yes, the gaming industry is still infested with brogrammers and has a long way to go. But we’re now in an era were EA and Bioware can tell bigots to fuck off and play somebody else’s games if they don’t like the fact that there are homosexual characters; you can play a crazy blockbuster game like Saints Row with your President of the United States as a fat black lesbian and be no less badass than if you were playing Generic White Dude.

If that makes people like this dude ragequit gaming forever – DARN.

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

My god! PLAYING A FAT LESBIAN CHARACTER!

The horror! The horror! Truly, it’s like the straight male holocaust! The entire game industry will completely refuse to ever make a stubbly dark-haired white guy a protagonist ever again! All games will involve feelings instead of weapons! You will shoot love beams and rainbows instead of bullets!

AAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Also I will totally draw a Lavender Menace seal of SJW approval in a bit. When I finish what I’m doing. It can go with my trophy for winner of the thread.)

Malitia
Malitia
6 years ago
Unimaginative
6 years ago

OMG, I have a vision in my head of Hawkeye Initiative heroes shooting love beams. I wish I could art.

http://thehawkeyeinitiative.com

grumpycatisagirl
6 years ago

I am also wondering about what the heck the jug is supposed to be. Seriously confused. It looks like maybe there’s a picture of a cow on it? Is it supposed to be milk? I don’t think that’s what milk jugs usually look like. What??

Amnesia
Amnesia
6 years ago

Basically, my response to guys who complain about diversity:

(To any poor unfortunate souls that haven’t seen A:TLA, Toph is blind)

bekabot
6 years ago

It looks like either laundry detergent or cat litter.

I noticed the same thing and decided to interpret it as laundry detergent. High-energy laundry detergent. Maybe she uses it for mindwash; the coin’s still up in the air about whether she needs it for herself or for the dwerps who made her.

Malitia
Malitia
6 years ago

OK. Take two:

http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2014/250/4/b/lavender_menace___seal_v2_by_mali_chan-d7yat1k.jpg

If someone thinks I suck at graphic design… that’s probably because I do. ^^;

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

That’s right: Anita Sarkeesian has actually been using her Kickstarter money to fund the training of an elite core of feminist commandos who will soon be dispatched to mother’s basements across the nation to pry copies of Grand Theft Auto V from the hands of true gaming heroes.

Hmm… It looks like the Feminist High Council: Lavender Menace Video Game Ops Division hasn’t even filled you in on the whole plan yet, David. We’re also going to make gamebros choose between death and wearing the mark of the Beast. Contrary to popular belief, the mark of the Beast isn’t “666” it’s actually the symbol for Venus/women and of course it will be lavender colored. Only gamebros sporting the mark will be able to buy or play video games and then only the games with the Lavender Menace Feminist SJW Seal of Approval. Soon after, the four fat black lesbian horsewomen of the apocalypse will appear. I’m not authorized to tell you what happens next. I’d need Anita’s permission to say any more.

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

I come bearing my own seal of approval!

http://i.imgur.com/mi5WG53.png

marinerachel
marinerachel
6 years ago

She’s SO FAT she’s eating the cat litter now!

slivarth
6 years ago

@weirwoodtreehugger
Shhh! We’re not in Phase Three yet! Do not disclose The Crucial Elements of the Plan!

Commence memory erasion protocol. Repeat, commence memory erasion protocol. Code: three seven alpha nine zero zero foxtrot

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

It looks like Reddit finally banned the fappening. http://www.businessinsider.com.au/the-fappening-has-been-banned-from-reddit-2014-9

Of course, they waited more than a week to do it, aren’t changing their policies and put out a mealy mouthed statement about it.

The reason is because we consider ourselves not just a company running a website where one can post links and discuss them, but the government of a new type of community. The role and responsibility of a government differs from that of a private corporation, in that it exercises restraint in the usage of its powers…

…Actions which are morally objectionable or otherwise inappropriate we choose to influence by exhortation, emphasising positive examples, or by selectively highlighting good content and good actions. For example, this includes our selection of subreddits which populate on our default front page, subreddits we highlight in blog posts, and subreddits we promote via other media channels…

…Virtuous behaviour is only virtuous if it is not arrived at by compulsion. This is a central idea of the community we are trying to create.

Yep, government never makes laws compelling virtuous behavior. That’s why the US government has just politely asked employers to not discriminate against employees instead of making discrimination against federal law.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

Is the jug maybe meant to be orange juice? I guess she could be craving it, since she’s pregnant and all.

Nequam
Nequam
6 years ago

I suspect it’s supposed to be milk and it was hastily cobbled up from some base model that was probably a fuel can or bleach bottle or something. I mean, it’s not like that pizza slice resembled any pizza slice I’ve seen…

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

Well, otoh, since she’s holding the pizza pepperoni side against her shirt she’s going to need the laundry detergent, so…

Shiraz
Shiraz
6 years ago

Was McTavish upthread spoofing what a gamer dudebro sounds like? It’s hard to tell. In any event, I read it with Charlie Sheen’s voice in my head.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

Cementing your public image with non-gamers as violent sexist assholes who want to kneecap a woman you don’t even know for cheating on her boyfriend = winning?

jayemgriffin
6 years ago

Does this mean I need to give up my hobbies? Do I have to stop crafting? Give up my collections? GUIDE ME, FEMINIST OVERLORDS!

cloudiah
6 years ago

MacTavish is right about exactly one thing (and only one thing):

The games industry is changing for the better,

It is. Thanks to people like Anita Sarkeesian.

Malitia
Malitia
6 years ago

Shiraz: Either that or he posts from Bizarro world. O.o

cloudiah
6 years ago

And oooooh, we have TWO seals of approval.

Here’s a seal that approves of that:

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/01/12/article-2085835-0F6D781400000578-455_638x689.jpg

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

Gotta disagree with Reddit. I take more of a Jewish standpoint on virtuous behavior; even if virtuous behavior is compelled, it is still virtuous behavior. Otherwise, we’d never recognize fire fighters and such as heroes; after all, they’re just doing their job, right?

Hoooorseshit.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

Since we’re already in the arctic, have a penguin too.

http://agelfeygelach.tumblr.com/post/90502825028/roachpatrol-tastefullyoffensive-science

beegee
beegee
6 years ago

I recognize the back of that jug as a brand of milk. Garelick Farms, maybe? AFAIK Hood has the square jugs (although the artist can’t draw skinney, snap top milk caps ><), but the main point dude-bro is going for is that in the US, red caps/border symbolizes whole fat milk instead of blue, green, or yellow, that symbolize 2%, 1%, or skim milk.

A woman eating pizza and drinking whole milk; truly a gamer apocalypse. Damn those women and their strong bones!

leftwingfox
6 years ago

I can’t even see pregnant, she just looks inflated. Like she plugged a helium tank into her belly button.

BritterSweet
6 years ago

LOL @ the gamebro here going, “You’re bullying us by not approving of us bullying [insert person/group].”

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

These guys are way beyond “you need to take your moral compass in for repairs” and into “just accept that it’s broken and get a new one”.

Wetherby
Wetherby
6 years ago

When MacTavish (who I naturally imagine as a red-faced shouty Scotsman in a kilt) says “The games industry is changing for the better”, what does he actually mean?

Because he sounds very much as though he’s representing the side of the argument that couldn’t be more fervently against any kind of change.

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

RE: Brittersweet

LOL @ the gamebro here going, “You’re bullying us by not approving of us bullying [insert person/group].”

Obviously, the true morally superior position is to never do anything and feel smug about your total inaction, because that way you can do no wrong! (And no right either for that matter, but ssssh. The universe is already perfect as it is; getting involved would ruin everything)

leocigale
leocigale
6 years ago
cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

Changing = moving backwards to just before women and POC started pointing out the problems with a lot of games, apparently.

mythago
6 years ago

@LBT: to be fair, that game DOES have a dubstep gun that lets you shoot things with the power of music. OMG SJW CONSPIRACY

@Wetherby: it makes sense if you think of it instead as “it could hardly get any worse”.

A Wolverine
A Wolverine
6 years ago

Nuking thefappening after a week just adds more evidence to the “never deletes shit unless it gets us bad press” heap.

Just like they haven’t touched the subreddit that replaced creepshots and the myriad of other ethically bankrupt shitholes they host.

Shiraz
Shiraz
6 years ago

Yeah, I mean is it any wonder I thought this was someone doing a gamebro impression?

They have the intellectual dishonesty down pat:

“The demands of the legions of gamers angry at the corruption of games journalism will be met.”

Yes, this is all about journalism. Wait, no it’s not. You guys have been spoonfed biased reviews for years. You’re only mobbing now because it gives you a reason to hate a woman.
But this part made me smile:

“The games industry is changing for the better…”

Because it is, but not in the way you think, duder. In fact, your kind will probably make these changes happen faster. There are other players out there who don’t belong to your demo, and companies want their money and interest too. Can’t risk alienating those potential consumers. Also, you give game a bad name. There are guys out there so fucking sick of assholes like you. And finally —

“… and we don’t care if we have to drag you assholes kicking and screaming to make it happen.”

Gaming has been catering to duders for a long time now, but poster never realized this? He thinks the industry can do better for sexist bros everywhere? What would be next? Firing every and any woman working in the industry then taking her out back to tar and feather?

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

I’m also amused by the idea that, say, Nintendo used to be a hobbyist collective rather than a profit-making corporation.

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

RE: leocigale

Welp, I know when I’m beaten.

cloudiah
6 years ago

A seal of approval that is actually a seal.

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