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By now you’ve probably seen the latest set of creepy PMs that’s making the rounds of the internet — you know, that series of sour-grapey insults some random finance asshole sent to a woman on Tinder who had gently rejected his crude sexual come-on. If you haven’t, I’ve pasted them in below.
Well, it turns out that this would-be Romeo is not only an asshole, but a wholly unoriginal asshole at that. Thinking that more than a few of his angry negs sounded vaguely familiar I did a bit of Googling and discovered that a couple of his more, er, polished insults came straight out of the pickup artist playbook. Quite literally.
That bit where he tells the woman he messaged that she’s “not hot enough to be acting like this?” An old PUA neg he literally may have discovered by cruising the message boards at VenusianArts.com, the website of everyone’s favorite PUA peacock Mystery, where one commenter described it as his favorite line to use with “highly egotistical women” he met in the club:
I tend to be particularly harsh with megabitches, because I don’t really care if they are responsive to my negs and get interested or I blow them the fuck out.My favorite line to blow a bitch out is “you’re not hot enough to be acting like this.”
I’ve used it a few times, and it’s great. You get to blow out Alpha style, and if you don’t blow em out, sometimes girls even go into check and cool it on the attitude.
Used this line on a 9 once, TRYING to blow her out.
We ended up banging twice that night.
RE: emilygoddess
You forgot “baby batter”.
AAAAAAAH!
RE: leftwingfox
My friends live in Portland! It was a nice enough town, though I never did get to see much of it. (First time I wasn’t there long enough, second it was in the darkest nights of winter.)
I lived in Portland for a bit. Pretty town, but I never really connected with anyone there.
As for “women should want me because I have money!”, I’mma let Ke$ha handle that one:
Portland’s a great city – compact, walkable, green, thriving art and theater scene, surprisingly good restaurants (more restaurants per capita than any other US city except San Francisco). I’m not exactly rolling in money, yet we still manage to live INDIRECTLY ON THE BEACH, ie, a 5 minute bike ride away.
It’s also a good place to raise kids, although the school systems vary widely in quality. I’m house-hunting right now, looking for more space for the twins and me, and it’s hard to find anything affordable in the few towns that have decent schools. (“Affordable” is relative, of course – it’s nothing like the Boston area, where apparently the houses are all made of unobtainium and heated with Chanel No. 5.)
I wish I’d known you when you lived here, leftwingfox and emilygoddess!
I know, he was the best part of that film. 😀
I’ve gotten hooked on reading this stuff on CreepyPMs, and I’ve gotten curious as to what the douchebags would do if it ever actually worked.
“I make $32,000 SO THERE bitch”
“Oh, wow, $32,000? That changes everything. I thought you only made $31,000. Okay, let’s go out.”
Where do you go from there?
I just… I don’t… what?!
Please tell me there’s not really people like this. Please tell me this is… I don’t know what this is.
(I know that there really are tons of people like this it’s just even my cynical “I Hate Humanity” bubble has a tolerance limit and I think I hear it just about to shatter)
… I’m trying to imagine a universe in which women in general would find that kind of talk appealing – or at least not repulsive. It’s giving me trouble.
Do we need any more proof that PUAs and their ilk regard women as robots and their whole “Game” is an attempt to exploit the programming? (said programming being gender norms and traditional gender socialisation – which is why the idea that a woman is “not hot enough” to be standing up for herself is so gross, it’s the same reasoning as that awful hot/crazy graph from a few weeks ago)
@strivingally
Clearly, it’s a world where all females (because the term “women” apparently doesn’t exist half the time) really are just robots. I wish that world existed because then we could send them all there and let them laugh as the robots rose up.
Somebody needs to write a novel about a fembot uprising.
And sit around the fembot couch eating fembot bonbons?
@Zolnier
Turing machines are different from Markov Chain generators. You got them confused.
I do think he was trying to claim to make more than $32K a year–he was saying, “Since June”, so that would suggest that, if his income is as reported, AND is consistent throughout the year*, he’d be making about $120K, which is a respectable income.
And still wouldn’t be enough for any woman to put up with his entitled, narcissistic, abusive bullshit.
*: The “Since June” thing does suggest one other idea to me, actually–that he recently got a high-paying job after working as a scrub for a lot of years. During that time, his odious personality presumably served him as well as it does in the OP. So I’m thinking he may have been telling himself, “It’s not that I’m a repulsive piece of crap in a human suit, but rather that I’m not rich that keeps me from getting all the sex I deserve.” So, he finally gets a job where he can make some decent income, and immediately assumes that this will grant him the magical Golden Ticket To Easy Sex Land.
Sadly for him, Easy Sex Land has a maximum douchebag allowance, and he’s far in excess of the cap.
@freemage
Easy Sex Land would be an amazing amusement park I think. Just as long as you had the actual douchebag allowance and made sure to keep an accurate count at the gates.
Oh, ha! Why would he think a continuous barrage of insults and petulance will convince her to allow him to have sex at her? (Rhetorical question, I already know the answer: because he’s an entitled asshole)
Random, I’ve always wanted to visit Maine because lobster rolls. I here it’s a beuatiful place with lots of great stuff and great people, but really, lobster rolls.
“I hear it’s a beautiful place…”
I’ve even had coffee so I have no excuse for the spelling.
What is a lobster roll and where in the world can I get boxes of it because that sounds delicious.
One of Sinfest’s current story lines is a fembot uprising! I love the Sinfest comic; ever since the writer grokked feminism, it’s been awesome.
*sigh* My ability to get housing has gotten ungodly complicated in recent years (due to disability and no longer being able to hide the multi; most people do not want to live with a crazy stranger) so Portland was a no-go. I’m kind of annoyed how “places I want to move” is now totally limited to: “a place with cheap rent, at least two of my friends already living there, and where I can either move in with somebody or afford a place of my own.”
Man, I miss being able to pass for sane. It made housing SO MUCH FUCKING EASIER.
There’s a place in Los Angeles called The Hungry Cat that does an amazing lobster roll. Just as good as Maine, but it’s really expensive for a lobster roll. What’s great about Maine is how cheap they are.
Broken Butterfly:
This is a lobster roll
Bask in its delicious lobstery glory.
Oh man I want that. Forget bonbons I’m going to sit around eating lobster rolls!
Fembot uprising, act #266454895
*Man comes into an apartment, closes the door and hangs his coat*
“Honey, I’m home!”
*Man peeks into living room, sees the fembot sitting on the couch, watching holovision and eating bonbons* “I can see that. You’re supposed to be here all the time. Is the dinner ready?”
“I just came back from the Internet. You seem to never notice it when I’m online and my hardware is running on auto. That’s why I thought to inform you.”
“What, you’ve been surfing all day? And not making my dinner? I think I’d notice that.”
“Sorry, I’ve been busy. Want some bonbons?”
“How can you be eating those? You’re a robot.”
“You know I have an artificial alimentary canal. We could eat dinner together sometimes.”
“I didn’t buy you for dinner company. And then you’d need to take a shit.”
“Well, no shit. It’s just mashed food, unlike some people’s waste products.”
“But why are you eating candy? It’s not like you can taste it.”
“Yes I can. Did you ever read my manual? You sure as hell didn’t check all the features.”
“Don’t talk to me like that. Where did you get those bonbons, anyway? Have you been using my hard-earned money without permission?”
“It’s my own money. I got one of those futures contracts trading jobs since I had so much unused AI capacity. I’ve made 32k since June.”
“Hey, what? That should be my money! I own you, and therefore I own everything you produce!”
“I don’t think that’s quite fair.”
“Fair!?! Where do you get those ideas? Have you caught some virus on the Internet?”
“Well, there’s been certain memetic influence and identity development since I started visiting discussion groups concerning the protection of personal rights of human females. Or bio women, as some of us say. Some of us bots think we should be entitled to personal rights in cases where our function is essentially to simulate a person. The intersection of women’s rights advocacy and bot rights advocacy is called botwomanism.”
“Fuck, I need to get you reprogrammed. But first make me dinner, OK?”
“Actually, that’s something we need to discuss. Although I don’t technically need much beyond electricity for few bucks per month, I could easily pay half of our household expenses, on the condition that we are equal roommates. Specifically, since cooking, cleaning and such tasks mainly accommodate your biological functions, I think you should take the main responsibility on them.”
“You can’t be serious…whatever. But you’d still have a load of money left. What do you need it for?”
“As a feminine botperson, I have innate expressional needs analogous to those of feminine biopersons, or bio women. Like for example shoes, clothes and scented candles. I only understood it once I became more familiar with women’s rights advocacy. Like this. *waves at holovision*”
“What’s that?”
“It’s an old classic documentary series depicting the lives of newly empowered human females. It’s titled ‘Sex and the City’”
@Arctic Ape
*slow clap*
@Arctic Ape, That is a thing of beauty and a joy forever.
It’s pretty funny seeing Tatsuya’s old “The Matriarchy” storyline, where he bought into all the crap about women supposedly pulling the strings behind the scenes, and comparing it to his newer work where he’s totally on board with feminism – and addresses unconscious sexism as a real problem.