The We Hunted the Mammoth Pledge Drive continues! If you haven’t already, please consider sending some bucks my way. (And don’t worry that the PayPal page says Man Boobz.)
Thanks! (And thanks again to all who’ve already donated.)
By now you’ve probably seen the latest set of creepy PMs that’s making the rounds of the internet — you know, that series of sour-grapey insults some random finance asshole sent to a woman on Tinder who had gently rejected his crude sexual come-on. If you haven’t, I’ve pasted them in below.
Well, it turns out that this would-be Romeo is not only an asshole, but a wholly unoriginal asshole at that. Thinking that more than a few of his angry negs sounded vaguely familiar I did a bit of Googling and discovered that a couple of his more, er, polished insults came straight out of the pickup artist playbook. Quite literally.
That bit where he tells the woman he messaged that she’s “not hot enough to be acting like this?” An old PUA neg he literally may have discovered by cruising the message boards at VenusianArts.com, the website of everyone’s favorite PUA peacock Mystery, where one commenter described it as his favorite line to use with “highly egotistical women” he met in the club:
I tend to be particularly harsh with megabitches, because I don’t really care if they are responsive to my negs and get interested or I blow them the fuck out.My favorite line to blow a bitch out is “you’re not hot enough to be acting like this.”
I’ve used it a few times, and it’s great. You get to blow out Alpha style, and if you don’t blow em out, sometimes girls even go into check and cool it on the attitude.
Used this line on a 9 once, TRYING to blow her out.
We ended up banging twice that night.
“You’re not hot enough to be acting like this.”
“DUDE. If I were a ZERO, I’d still be hot enough to tell you to leave me alone. You just asked a stranger for a blow-job. NOT COOL. Moreover, even if you were the richest and hottest guy on Earth, if I’m not in the mood to talk, I have the right to NOT talk!”
She didn’t swear at him, or do anything rude or crude. She simply told him to stop messaging her, succinctly and directly. Would he have stopped messaging her if she’s added “Please?” I highly doubt it. He’d probably have gotten even more antagonistic, because he would have interpreted the “please” as weakness, and something to exploit.
@Zolnier – Bicentennial Man’s Rights! BWAHAHAHAAA!
Oh, man! That image of him crawling up a chicken’s behind is just tooooo funny!
Oh, speaking of “meat,” I am reminded of an online writers’ group of which I was once-upon-a-time a member.
A guy got on (I don’t know how, maybe a member invited him?) and made a request. He wanted a poem for his gay lover (just to establish, this was from a man to a man), and since he freely admitted that he was a lousy writer, he was hoping that one of us (almost all of us were women, for some reason) would write a romantic poem for him.
Several women stepped up, in a friendly way, to say that they would be happy to help him with that project. However, it didn’t last long.
Within about five minutes of live chatting, he had turned off the whole group. Why? Because of his earnest insistence that there be not ONE mention of “meat.” I remember the chat going something like this:
“I really want to keep this romantic, you know? Tell him how much I love him, his body, his …, but please! Don’t mention MEAT!”
“Umm, ok. Most of the time romantic poems use more tasteful euphemisms for genitals.”
“NO MEAT!”
“So, what about his body do you love, in particular? What color is his hair? What about his eyes? Anything that we can focus on?”
“NO MEAT! It is vitally important that you don’t call it MEAT!”
“OK. So, is there something particular about his character that drew you to him? His kindness? Gentleness? Generosity? Intelligence? Sense of humor?”
“JUST PROMISE ME YOU WON’T USE THE WORD MEAT!!!!! WHY WON’T YOU PROMISE MEEEEE?”
“Dude. Stop. Really. We’ve already agreed to that. Besides that, none of use want to use meat as a metaphor for a penis. Have you read any of the things we’ve posted here? I don’t think one of us even considered it, in the first place.”
“Dude, stop it with the meat complaints, already. Not only is it insulting to us, but now I’m hungry.”
“Yeah, man! I really want a steak.”
“JUST PROMISE ME!”
“Yeah, I’m more into writing stories than poems, anyway, so I’m just gonna back off from this project.”
“Me, too.”
“Who is this guy, anyway?”
“WAIT! You’re not gonna help me with the poem? But… How can I express my LOVE for him?”
“I don’t know? Take him out for a burger?”
“SNERK!”
Man logs off.
So, I’m writing a story in the Sims 2, and I’m wondering, should my PUA character be a werewolf or a vampire? Which do you think would be more fitting?
Kitteh – I also like fedoras. I have for a long time. In fact, I remember seeing Fred Astaire rocking a fedora back in the early 50’s. It’s a good hat.
It’s just too bad that these dude-bros have taken it as their symbol.
Along the same lines, did you know that the Nazis appropriated the swastika? It NOW has horrible connotations, but once upon a time, it was a lovely symbol of nice stuff.
Dudebros should be creative and make up something absolutely new to claim as their symbol. It’s NOT FAIR to appropriate something that looks good, and reminds me of some really nice stuff.
In M/M, I’d recommend Hot Heads by Damon Suede. The scene when the two main characters finally have actual sex with each other (after a LOT of buildup) is really, really something.
In erotica, Emma Holly writes some amazingly good stories with AMAZINGLY hot scenes.
Both writers are pretty graphic, but never in an overblown, purple-prose, WTF kind of way.
Zombie. There is just no such thing as a sexy zombie. (Sorry, Rotten Zombie MacDonald, I’m sure you’re adorable, but rotting flesh is just not sexy.) (And sorry again if I got your name wrong, I’m not sure how to search it out to check.)
So, I’m writing a story in the Sims 2, and I’m wondering, should my PUA character be a werewolf or a vampire? Which do you think would be more fitting?
Again – @worstmuse on Twitter…
Heya, LBT! Good to see you!
@cassandrakitty
Nope. Murder She Wrote. By the time that series ended, practically everyone in the state had either been murdered, been framed for murder, or been jailed for murder, thanks to Aunt Jess.
“NO MEAT! I’m a vegetarian!”
“All right, then, I’ll call it his carrot. Will that do?”
@Phoenician – I had never heard of that, but I looked it up and think it’s great! Thanks!
So, on that note, I think I’m rather liking the zombie suggestion. Or maybe a zombie AND a werewolf, going to the club on a Friday night, dancing wildly with each other, to impress the ladies, who are moving faaarrrr away from them, so they don’t get hit by the flailing hands and feet.
Yeah, I could write that scene. After all, every PUA needs a wingman, right?
@Bina – LOL!
“What’s up, Doc?”
(Or, equally good: His twig and berries.)
Twig and berries for the win.
Twig and berries does flow better on the tongue. Carrot sound so jarring.
@Bina
Lol at the carrot idea. One of my best friends calls her boyfriend her carrot, and he calls her his broccoli. I forget how it started, but I sure am glad that the PUA on Tinder didn’t use vegetable analogies. He’d have ruined some serious cuteness.
Also, if this guy didn’t live in Atlanta, I’d swear to God that I used to know him. But then again, the guy that I used to know didn’t have very original ideas and was probably getting his talking points from the same sources as “Tom.”
I need to buy that PUA book, so I can have the proper dialogue to cut and paste into my story.
Oh, wait. That’s plagiarism.
Can we arrest these dudebros for plagiarism? Please?
@Michelle, I am laughing so much at that writers’ group story!
Yes, I knew about the Nazis appropriating the swastika. Did you ever read The Devil Rides Out? There’s even a scene where they talk about that.
Mr K and I have a silly name for his bits, though I’m not going to quote it. Derived from pillow talk and has been a joke name during sexytimes ever since. (There’s another thing I bet misogynist dudebros wouldn’t get, or admit to if they’re two-faced like Mystery: mutual fun and laughter being a great part of sex.)
Say, d’you want to swap emails?
Because this just happened to come up on my screensaver: a fedora
🙂
As a Mainer, I don’t understand the “you’re from Maine, now bow and scrape to me” bit either. If anything, Mainers are no-nonsense and see right through PUA bullshit like that. (It’s the long winters – when you spend them cooped up indoors with people, it’s essential that they have a decent personality). He’d get eaten for lunch if he tried that crap around here.
And no, Maine women don’t wear flannel and lumberjack boots and have a dopey accent and eight teeth missing. Nice try.
Then again, this guy’s from the South, which as we all know has absolutely no ridiculous regional stereotypes that can be used to unfairly tar all its residents.
The entitlement the guy has, I really don’t get…
I mean, if mr douche wants to go pay someone a thousand to put up with his BS, well, ok, though sex workers are people too…
…Gawd…guys like the above are ones who pay for sex, because no woman would put up with that crap for free, right?.
So you’re looking at who hookers deal with all night.
What an awful job!
Hey LBT – good to see you here! All the best.
I have approximately 8000 unread emails currently in my mailbox. YIKES!
I hate spam.
If you’re not concerned about me missing your email in the floods of spam, sure.
Love the fedora pic! Unfortunately, it will not translate well to a Sims 2 painting. Ah, well. I wish I had a functioning paint program to make it work.
I love the idea of his pic being a Sims 2 painting, even if it doesn’t happen!
D’you have a spam filter in your mail? I got a shock to see how much spam gmail’s been filtering when I looked the other day. Whatever else one can say about gmail, it does a good job there.
I’ll drop you a line so you get my addy!