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By now you’ve probably seen the latest set of creepy PMs that’s making the rounds of the internet — you know, that series of sour-grapey insults some random finance asshole sent to a woman on Tinder who had gently rejected his crude sexual come-on. If you haven’t, I’ve pasted them in below.
Well, it turns out that this would-be Romeo is not only an asshole, but a wholly unoriginal asshole at that. Thinking that more than a few of his angry negs sounded vaguely familiar I did a bit of Googling and discovered that a couple of his more, er, polished insults came straight out of the pickup artist playbook. Quite literally.
That bit where he tells the woman he messaged that she’s “not hot enough to be acting like this?” An old PUA neg he literally may have discovered by cruising the message boards at VenusianArts.com, the website of everyone’s favorite PUA peacock Mystery, where one commenter described it as his favorite line to use with “highly egotistical women” he met in the club:
I tend to be particularly harsh with megabitches, because I don’t really care if they are responsive to my negs and get interested or I blow them the fuck out.My favorite line to blow a bitch out is “you’re not hot enough to be acting like this.”
I’ve used it a few times, and it’s great. You get to blow out Alpha style, and if you don’t blow em out, sometimes girls even go into check and cool it on the attitude.
Used this line on a 9 once, TRYING to blow her out.
We ended up banging twice that night.
You know, if what those chucklefucks were saying about nude pictures devaluing a gender as a whole is true (I mistyped that as ‘hole’ at first… Freud, get out of my head!) than by sending anonymous dickpics, these guys are RUINING MEN FOR EVERYBODY.
SCIENCE!
Oh, yeah…LBT, you were much missed. Hoping the unpleasant regurgitation of the past is finished soon…*shakes head* Would not wish that crap on anybody.
RE: cassandrakitty
Men are impressive in the sheer awful names they give their genitals and the things they do with them. It’s one of the reasons I tend to prefer porn by women; at least they don’t use so many terms like “manmeat,” “Polish salami,” “mantool,” “grand mal’ing cock” and “jazillion amorous mating sperm.”
(All of these are real things. And I didn’t even mention the one with the bear.)
HEAVING SADDLE OF FLESH.
(In truth, twas the bad porn that drove me mad! THE BAD PORN I SAY!)
But a saddle is completely the wrong shape, unless they mean the pommel on a Western saddle, and even then…what?
There was a bear involved, cassandrakitty. Trust me, you don’t want to know more than that.
RE: blahlistic
Thanks. Sorry that I am behind and will probably still be sporadic.
Also, why was it heaving? Is this some sort of foreskin-shedding metaphor?
After making the mistake of reading Henry Miller I decided that maybe men just shouldn’t write porn.
@blahlistic
**wave** 🙂
RE: cassandrakitty
A bear was performing oral sex and rimming on a man. Both at the same time. That was how the writer described it.
Seriously, sometimes I wonder what the hell I am missing to find such descriptions utterly repulsive. How does this crap get published? Are people really that turned on by heaving saddles of bearmeat?
My fav bad euphemism is “love wand.” I imagined the dude rotating his hips to wave his love wand, and the magic progresses from there.
You know what makes me sad about PUAs?
If all they did was encourage guys not to be intimidated as fuck by women, and to talk to women and have a good time, then they would probably A) be more successful at being laid, B) be happier people and C) be capable of meaningful, loving relationships with women who want to be with them.
To the extent that PUA tactics “work”, I suspect this is what is really happening. If you’re a guy and you never talk to women because you find them terrifying and find rejection terrifying, actually going up and talking to women a lot will quickly teach you that rejection isn’t the worst thing that could happen to you, and that women are actually not that scary (they’re pretty much just human beings!).
But no, they can’t just do that. Because actually meeting women and having a good time with them isn’t the real goal for so many of these guys. The real goal is “winning”, hence the negging, gaslighting, abuse, and straight-up rape.
Well I guess there’s a lot of things about PUAs that make me sad but that is one of them 🙂
Admittedly, I’m not sure there’s a right way to explicitly describe sex without sounding either silly or clinical. All the written scenes that I’ve found really sexy are more fade to black style.
What are some sexy scenes from books that you guys can think of?
LBT, good to see you again! Best wishes on the dealing with stuff.
Also, heaving saddles of bearmeat sounds like a recipe to me. I suggest Béarnaise to accompany.
I’m sure it’s probably lost on this guy that she probably wrote him off as an internet psycho after the first insult and got on with her life. However, in his warped little mind he has to try and convince himself that she was truly hurt and ‘put in her place’ by this idiot’s absurd ramblings. If it wasn’t so disturbing it would but gut laugh funny…
There is only one word to describe that interaction and the way he childishly insulted her. Criiiiiiiinge. The end.
I don’t care if an abusive man looks like Elvis Presley, Ewan Mcgregor or Ryan Gosling. I’ll put on my tiara, curtsy and then skip away from him just like the entitled Princess that I am.
Which reminds me of a movie
http://youtu.be/hoZuMb19RJ4
Aww, A Little Princess! All the nostalgia!
Sounds like the title of an eldritch abomination from a Lovecraftian story.
Oh, lord, this fucking guy. You can feel the tantrum happening. I bet he honestly wonders why he can’t get laid, short of crawling up a chicken’s ass and waiting.
LBT, good to see you!
I’ve never liked the PUA movement. It’s a big load of bull.
Hey! I got an idea for ya! How about just being a decent person?
I never liked the PUA movement. Narcs.
Hey, I got a good idea. How about being a decent person?
LBT, great to see you here!
Mr K would second this if he worried about what earthtypes do. He has several fedoras and a bright red panama. However I do enough Stop Ruining Fedoras For Everyone Else for both of us.
Not only totally unsexy, but makes me think of the sort of sausage that is going to be cooked and eaten. Also makes me want to file my teeth into points.
My fav bad euphemism is “love wand.” I imagined the dude rotating his hips to wave his love wand, and the magic progresses from there.
Now I’m seeing Ken Branagh’s turn as Gilderoy Lockhart gone horribly wrong …
Dracula and the narrator in the short story The Tenth Scholar.
A travesty (what’s now called drag) ball at Henri III’s court in Vainglory. The description of Henri wasn’t meant to be sexy at all, just the opposite, but it worked for me.
There are others, but I can’t call them to mind at the moment. I presume our own writing doesn’t count. 😉
It’s like a Turing machine constructed out of arsehole. Like if in Bicentennial Man Andrew Martin achieved sapience by reading PUA manuals. The Bicentennial Man’s Rights if you will.
>cackle<