Categories
alpha males evil sexy ladies men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny PUA red pill

That finance douchebag on Tinder is a perfect example of pickup artistry gone wrong

Mystery has taught you well, young douchebag
Mystery has taught you well, young douchebag

The We Hunted the Mammoth Pledge Drive continues! If you haven’t already, please consider sending some bucks my way. (And don’t worry that the PayPal page says Man Boobz.)

Thanks! (And thanks again to all who’ve already donated.)

By now you’ve probably seen the latest set of creepy PMs that’s making the rounds of the internet — you know, that series of sour-grapey insults some random finance asshole sent to a woman on Tinder who had gently rejected his crude sexual come-on. If you haven’t, I’ve pasted them in below.

Well, it turns out that this would-be Romeo is not only an asshole, but a wholly unoriginal asshole at that. Thinking that more than a few of his angry negs sounded vaguely familiar I did a bit of Googling and discovered that a couple of his more, er, polished insults came straight out of the pickup artist playbook. Quite literally.

That bit where he tells the woman he messaged that she’s “not hot enough to be acting like this?” An old PUA neg he literally may have discovered by cruising the message boards at VenusianArts.com, the website of everyone’s favorite PUA peacock Mystery, where one commenter described it as his favorite line to use with “highly egotistical women” he met in the club:

I tend to be particularly harsh with megabitches, because I don’t really care if they are responsive to my negs and get interested or I blow them the fuck out.My favorite line to blow a bitch out is “you’re not hot enough to be acting like this.”

I’ve used it a few times, and it’s great. You get to blow out Alpha style, and if you don’t blow em out, sometimes girls even go into check and cool it on the attitude.

Used this line on a 9 once, TRYING to blow her out.

We ended up banging twice that night.

 
Yeah, that totally happened. Did her boobs feel like bags of sand?
 
In any case, that line didn’t work quite as well on Tinder gal.
 
Another of the Finance Asshole”s insults — his odd contention that the Tinder gal’s “eyes are way too far apart” — may have been borrowed from a bit of angry dude copypasta that seems to be quite popular amongst the regulars on Bodybuilding.com, a site especially popular amongst misogynistic douchebags (and one of the online hangouts of Elliot Rodger).
 
Oh, and it goes without saying that Finance Asshole’s crude opener — the bit about putting his meat in her mouth — isn’t original either; it’s a joke so old you can even get it on a t-shirt.
 
Some men are born assholes; some achieve assholeness; some learn how to be an asshole on the Internet.
 
Here’s the whole creepy saga:
 
 
 
fa1 fa2 fa4 fa5 fa6 fa7
Somehow I doubt that Tinder gal feels bad she let this catch slip through her fingers.
 
 

 

Subscribe
Notify of
guest

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

159 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
LBT (with an open writeathon!)

You know, if what those chucklefucks were saying about nude pictures devaluing a gender as a whole is true (I mistyped that as ‘hole’ at first… Freud, get out of my head!) than by sending anonymous dickpics, these guys are RUINING MEN FOR EVERYBODY.

SCIENCE!

blahlistic (@blahlistic)

Oh, yeah…LBT, you were much missed. Hoping the unpleasant regurgitation of the past is finished soon…*shakes head* Would not wish that crap on anybody.

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

RE: cassandrakitty

Men are impressive in the sheer awful names they give their genitals and the things they do with them. It’s one of the reasons I tend to prefer porn by women; at least they don’t use so many terms like “manmeat,” “Polish salami,” “mantool,” “grand mal’ing cock” and “jazillion amorous mating sperm.”

(All of these are real things. And I didn’t even mention the one with the bear.)

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

HEAVING SADDLE OF FLESH.

(In truth, twas the bad porn that drove me mad! THE BAD PORN I SAY!)

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

But a saddle is completely the wrong shape, unless they mean the pommel on a Western saddle, and even then…what?

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

There was a bear involved, cassandrakitty. Trust me, you don’t want to know more than that.

RE: blahlistic

Thanks. Sorry that I am behind and will probably still be sporadic.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

Also, why was it heaving? Is this some sort of foreskin-shedding metaphor?

After making the mistake of reading Henry Miller I decided that maybe men just shouldn’t write porn.

Shiraz
Shiraz
6 years ago

@blahlistic

**wave** 🙂

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

RE: cassandrakitty

A bear was performing oral sex and rimming on a man. Both at the same time. That was how the writer described it.

Seriously, sometimes I wonder what the hell I am missing to find such descriptions utterly repulsive. How does this crap get published? Are people really that turned on by heaving saddles of bearmeat?

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
6 years ago

My fav bad euphemism is “love wand.” I imagined the dude rotating his hips to wave his love wand, and the magic progresses from there.

deniseeliza
deniseeliza
6 years ago

Weird thing: I know a lady who has got it on with Mystery. The funny bit? He used exactly zero negs. He was all “You’re the funniest girl I’ve ever met, you’re great”.

You know what makes me sad about PUAs?

If all they did was encourage guys not to be intimidated as fuck by women, and to talk to women and have a good time, then they would probably A) be more successful at being laid, B) be happier people and C) be capable of meaningful, loving relationships with women who want to be with them.

To the extent that PUA tactics “work”, I suspect this is what is really happening. If you’re a guy and you never talk to women because you find them terrifying and find rejection terrifying, actually going up and talking to women a lot will quickly teach you that rejection isn’t the worst thing that could happen to you, and that women are actually not that scary (they’re pretty much just human beings!).

But no, they can’t just do that. Because actually meeting women and having a good time with them isn’t the real goal for so many of these guys. The real goal is “winning”, hence the negging, gaslighting, abuse, and straight-up rape.

deniseeliza
deniseeliza
6 years ago

Well I guess there’s a lot of things about PUAs that make me sad but that is one of them 🙂

katz
6 years ago

Admittedly, I’m not sure there’s a right way to explicitly describe sex without sounding either silly or clinical. All the written scenes that I’ve found really sexy are more fade to black style.

What are some sexy scenes from books that you guys can think of?

Robert
Robert
6 years ago

LBT, good to see you again! Best wishes on the dealing with stuff.

Also, heaving saddles of bearmeat sounds like a recipe to me. I suggest Béarnaise to accompany.

Leisha Young
Leisha Young
6 years ago

I’m sure it’s probably lost on this guy that she probably wrote him off as an internet psycho after the first insult and got on with her life. However, in his warped little mind he has to try and convince himself that she was truly hurt and ‘put in her place’ by this idiot’s absurd ramblings. If it wasn’t so disturbing it would but gut laugh funny…

CattyGal
CattyGal
6 years ago

There is only one word to describe that interaction and the way he childishly insulted her. Criiiiiiiinge. The end.

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
6 years ago

I don’t care if an abusive man looks like Elvis Presley, Ewan Mcgregor or Ryan Gosling. I’ll put on my tiara, curtsy and then skip away from him just like the entitled Princess that I am.

Which reminds me of a movie
http://youtu.be/hoZuMb19RJ4

katz
6 years ago

Aww, A Little Princess! All the nostalgia!

Matthew Cline
Matthew Cline
6 years ago

HEAVING SADDLE OF FLESH.

Sounds like the title of an eldritch abomination from a Lovecraftian story.

hellkell
hellkell
6 years ago

Oh, lord, this fucking guy. You can feel the tantrum happening. I bet he honestly wonders why he can’t get laid, short of crawling up a chicken’s ass and waiting.

LBT, good to see you!

broski
6 years ago

I’ve never liked the PUA movement. It’s a big load of bull.

Hey! I got an idea for ya! How about just being a decent person?

paulcarlton
6 years ago

I never liked the PUA movement. Narcs.

Hey, I got a good idea. How about being a decent person?

kittehserf - MOD
kittehserf - MOD
6 years ago

LBT, great to see you here!

Yeah, my first fave hat is a woven paper fedora, I wear it often.
The fedora/douchebro association worries me. Douchebros cannot appropriate my hat.

Mr K would second this if he worried about what earthtypes do. He has several fedoras and a bright red panama. However I do enough Stop Ruining Fedoras For Everyone Else for both of us.

Aside – there are very few things that will make me want to touch your penis less than calling it your “meat”. Why do people think this is sexy?

Not only totally unsexy, but makes me think of the sort of sausage that is going to be cooked and eaten. Also makes me want to file my teeth into points.

My fav bad euphemism is “love wand.” I imagined the dude rotating his hips to wave his love wand, and the magic progresses from there.

Now I’m seeing Ken Branagh’s turn as Gilderoy Lockhart gone horribly wrong …

What are some sexy scenes from books that you guys can think of?

Dracula and the narrator in the short story The Tenth Scholar.

A travesty (what’s now called drag) ball at Henri III’s court in Vainglory. The description of Henri wasn’t meant to be sexy at all, just the opposite, but it worked for me.

There are others, but I can’t call them to mind at the moment. I presume our own writing doesn’t count. 😉

Zolnier
Zolnier
6 years ago

It’s like a Turing machine constructed out of arsehole. Like if in Bicentennial Man Andrew Martin achieved sapience by reading PUA manuals. The Bicentennial Man’s Rights if you will.

Bina
Bina
6 years ago

I bet he honestly wonders why he can’t get laid, short of crawling up a chicken’s ass and waiting.

>cackle<

Michelle C Young
6 years ago

“You’re not hot enough to be acting like this.”

“DUDE. If I were a ZERO, I’d still be hot enough to tell you to leave me alone. You just asked a stranger for a blow-job. NOT COOL. Moreover, even if you were the richest and hottest guy on Earth, if I’m not in the mood to talk, I have the right to NOT talk!”

She didn’t swear at him, or do anything rude or crude. She simply told him to stop messaging her, succinctly and directly. Would he have stopped messaging her if she’s added “Please?” I highly doubt it. He’d probably have gotten even more antagonistic, because he would have interpreted the “please” as weakness, and something to exploit.

Michelle C Young
6 years ago

@Zolnier – Bicentennial Man’s Rights! BWAHAHAHAAA!

Michelle C Young
6 years ago

Oh, man! That image of him crawling up a chicken’s behind is just tooooo funny!

Michelle C Young
6 years ago

Oh, speaking of “meat,” I am reminded of an online writers’ group of which I was once-upon-a-time a member.

A guy got on (I don’t know how, maybe a member invited him?) and made a request. He wanted a poem for his gay lover (just to establish, this was from a man to a man), and since he freely admitted that he was a lousy writer, he was hoping that one of us (almost all of us were women, for some reason) would write a romantic poem for him.

Several women stepped up, in a friendly way, to say that they would be happy to help him with that project. However, it didn’t last long.

Within about five minutes of live chatting, he had turned off the whole group. Why? Because of his earnest insistence that there be not ONE mention of “meat.” I remember the chat going something like this:

“I really want to keep this romantic, you know? Tell him how much I love him, his body, his …, but please! Don’t mention MEAT!”

“Umm, ok. Most of the time romantic poems use more tasteful euphemisms for genitals.”

“NO MEAT!”

“So, what about his body do you love, in particular? What color is his hair? What about his eyes? Anything that we can focus on?”

“NO MEAT! It is vitally important that you don’t call it MEAT!”

“OK. So, is there something particular about his character that drew you to him? His kindness? Gentleness? Generosity? Intelligence? Sense of humor?”

“JUST PROMISE ME YOU WON’T USE THE WORD MEAT!!!!! WHY WON’T YOU PROMISE MEEEEE?”

“Dude. Stop. Really. We’ve already agreed to that. Besides that, none of use want to use meat as a metaphor for a penis. Have you read any of the things we’ve posted here? I don’t think one of us even considered it, in the first place.”

“Dude, stop it with the meat complaints, already. Not only is it insulting to us, but now I’m hungry.”

“Yeah, man! I really want a steak.”

“JUST PROMISE ME!”

“Yeah, I’m more into writing stories than poems, anyway, so I’m just gonna back off from this project.”

“Me, too.”

“Who is this guy, anyway?”

“WAIT! You’re not gonna help me with the poem? But… How can I express my LOVE for him?”

“I don’t know? Take him out for a burger?”

“SNERK!”

Man logs off.

Michelle C Young
6 years ago

So, I’m writing a story in the Sims 2, and I’m wondering, should my PUA character be a werewolf or a vampire? Which do you think would be more fitting?

Michelle C Young
6 years ago

Kitteh – I also like fedoras. I have for a long time. In fact, I remember seeing Fred Astaire rocking a fedora back in the early 50’s. It’s a good hat.

It’s just too bad that these dude-bros have taken it as their symbol.

Along the same lines, did you know that the Nazis appropriated the swastika? It NOW has horrible connotations, but once upon a time, it was a lovely symbol of nice stuff.

Dudebros should be creative and make up something absolutely new to claim as their symbol. It’s NOT FAIR to appropriate something that looks good, and reminds me of some really nice stuff.

Unimaginative
6 years ago

What are some sexy scenes from books that you guys can think of?

In M/M, I’d recommend Hot Heads by Damon Suede. The scene when the two main characters finally have actual sex with each other (after a LOT of buildup) is really, really something.

In erotica, Emma Holly writes some amazingly good stories with AMAZINGLY hot scenes.

Both writers are pretty graphic, but never in an overblown, purple-prose, WTF kind of way.

So, I’m writing a story in the Sims 2, and I’m wondering, should my PUA character be a werewolf or a vampire? Which do you think would be more fitting?

Zombie. There is just no such thing as a sexy zombie. (Sorry, Rotten Zombie MacDonald, I’m sure you’re adorable, but rotting flesh is just not sexy.) (And sorry again if I got your name wrong, I’m not sure how to search it out to check.)

Phoenician in a time of Romans
Phoenician in a time of Romans
6 years ago

So, I’m writing a story in the Sims 2, and I’m wondering, should my PUA character be a werewolf or a vampire? Which do you think would be more fitting?

Again – @worstmuse on Twitter…

Michelle C Young
6 years ago

Heya, LBT! Good to see you!

Michelle C Young
6 years ago

@cassandrakitty

It’s Steven King, isn’t it? This guy peed his pants in terror when he saw Carrie on TV once as a child, and that’s why it’s not OK to be from Maine.

Nope. Murder She Wrote. By the time that series ended, practically everyone in the state had either been murdered, been framed for murder, or been jailed for murder, thanks to Aunt Jess.

Bina
Bina
6 years ago

“NO MEAT! I’m a vegetarian!”

“All right, then, I’ll call it his carrot. Will that do?”

Michelle C Young
6 years ago

@Phoenician – I had never heard of that, but I looked it up and think it’s great! Thanks!

The Worst Muse @WorstMuse · Aug 10
You never know what the latest trend will be, so make sure to include every single type of supernatural creature you have ever heard of.

So, on that note, I think I’m rather liking the zombie suggestion. Or maybe a zombie AND a werewolf, going to the club on a Friday night, dancing wildly with each other, to impress the ladies, who are moving faaarrrr away from them, so they don’t get hit by the flailing hands and feet.

Yeah, I could write that scene. After all, every PUA needs a wingman, right?

Michelle C Young
6 years ago

@Bina – LOL!

“What’s up, Doc?”

Bina
Bina
6 years ago

(Or, equally good: His twig and berries.)

thebewilderness
6 years ago

Twig and berries for the win.

Michelle C Young
6 years ago

Twig and berries does flow better on the tongue. Carrot sound so jarring.

Alais
6 years ago

@Bina

Lol at the carrot idea. One of my best friends calls her boyfriend her carrot, and he calls her his broccoli. I forget how it started, but I sure am glad that the PUA on Tinder didn’t use vegetable analogies. He’d have ruined some serious cuteness.

Also, if this guy didn’t live in Atlanta, I’d swear to God that I used to know him. But then again, the guy that I used to know didn’t have very original ideas and was probably getting his talking points from the same sources as “Tom.”

Michelle C Young
6 years ago

I need to buy that PUA book, so I can have the proper dialogue to cut and paste into my story.

Oh, wait. That’s plagiarism.

Can we arrest these dudebros for plagiarism? Please?

kittehserf - MOD
kittehserf - MOD
6 years ago

@Michelle, I am laughing so much at that writers’ group story!

Yes, I knew about the Nazis appropriating the swastika. Did you ever read The Devil Rides Out? There’s even a scene where they talk about that.

Mr K and I have a silly name for his bits, though I’m not going to quote it. Derived from pillow talk and has been a joke name during sexytimes ever since. (There’s another thing I bet misogynist dudebros wouldn’t get, or admit to if they’re two-faced like Mystery: mutual fun and laughter being a great part of sex.)

Say, d’you want to swap emails?

kittehserf - MOD
kittehserf - MOD
6 years ago

Because this just happened to come up on my screensaver: a fedora

🙂

Buttercup Q. Skullpants

As a Mainer, I don’t understand the “you’re from Maine, now bow and scrape to me” bit either. If anything, Mainers are no-nonsense and see right through PUA bullshit like that. (It’s the long winters – when you spend them cooped up indoors with people, it’s essential that they have a decent personality). He’d get eaten for lunch if he tried that crap around here.

And no, Maine women don’t wear flannel and lumberjack boots and have a dopey accent and eight teeth missing. Nice try.

Then again, this guy’s from the South, which as we all know has absolutely no ridiculous regional stereotypes that can be used to unfairly tar all its residents.

blahlistic (@blahlistic)

The entitlement the guy has, I really don’t get…
I mean, if mr douche wants to go pay someone a thousand to put up with his BS, well, ok, though sex workers are people too…

…Gawd…guys like the above are ones who pay for sex, because no woman would put up with that crap for free, right?.
So you’re looking at who hookers deal with all night.
What an awful job!

bluecatbabe
bluecatbabe
6 years ago

Hey LBT – good to see you here! All the best.

Michelle C Young
6 years ago

I have approximately 8000 unread emails currently in my mailbox. YIKES!

I hate spam.

If you’re not concerned about me missing your email in the floods of spam, sure.

Love the fedora pic! Unfortunately, it will not translate well to a Sims 2 painting. Ah, well. I wish I had a functioning paint program to make it work.

kittehserf - MOD
kittehserf - MOD
6 years ago

I love the idea of his pic being a Sims 2 painting, even if it doesn’t happen!

D’you have a spam filter in your mail? I got a shock to see how much spam gmail’s been filtering when I looked the other day. Whatever else one can say about gmail, it does a good job there.

I’ll drop you a line so you get my addy!