An open thread for personal stuff, continuing from here.
As usual for these threads: no trolls, no MRAs, no I’m-not-really-an-MRA-buts, don’t be mean.
Categories
We Hunted The MammothBucking the Backlash
We Hunted The Mammoth
@ J.J., I’m going to be a little coy about what I do, but I am a librarian who gets to work with some really cool primary source materials, including photographs. We found a cool collection that few people had ever seen, and made it more visible, and — VIOLA! — a museum exhibit is happening.
What’s the astroglide for, David?
I’d love to see a Mammotheer thread in the NaNo forums. Lol, what better way to avoid writing? I wish I could get myself together enough to write outside of NaNo. In spite of many NaNos, I’m always procrastinating once January arrives (I do usually write in December too, but it fades).
@blahlistic, and @policy of madness.
Thank you. I did call doc and he told me to halve the dose and keep it up. It’s better today – first day I split it. I posted before talking to doc. I was mostly wondering if anyone had successful coping techniques for the ickyness, apart from stopping it, or clearing my schedule, haha.
I’ve been on it before, years ago and I can’t remember if it was helpful or not, which is weird I guess. I do remember the beginning agitation and then there was this one particularly manic episode where I put in a stone path in my lawn with some limestone and a garden shovel. In one day. Still looks great! 😉
Trying to “supplement” Wellbutrin. My neurotransmitters are being difficult. The little fuckers.
@ TomNelson…Go home alive every day. This is important.
Funny that the MRM blames men’s shorter average lifespan on women.
Though it’s not *entirely* the fault of traditional male socialization …but that’s more to blame than women:
http://www.apa.org/monitor/2011/06/men-die.aspx
In fact, the study this article’s based on suggests that married men live longer than single men because their wives bug them to go to the doctor, and thus they get preventive care:
http://www.bbc.com/capital/specials/protection-now/spotted/married-men-live-longer-study-shows_a-1-41.html
…That last is why I bug my LDR guy to go to the doctor about stuff. I tell him ” I’m the designated female, currently, therefore I’m just doing my job.”
…I do note, just because marriage is overall a good thing doesn’t mean your individual partner isn’t a flaming asshole who treats you like crap and needs to be gotten the heck away from. They are out there, sadly, and they come in all genders.
It’s true in one sense: If women didn’t exist, men’s lifespan would indeed be completely average for humans.
That study probably doesn’t count another factor. Preventative care is all well and good, but care during an illness probably also contributes!
Or, at least, makes it less stressful.
I got to do the being sick without live in help (i.e. parents or flatmates) for the first time this summer. It stunk.
Hey all. I hope you don’t mind, but I’m just having a rough time, socially.
Each year, the staff in my department goes camping. The first year I was at the office, I missed it, but I let folks know that I was interested in going. The next year, they forgot to include me, but I joined in at the last second and had a good time.
This year, they forgot to include me. Again. I just found out tonight that it’s this weekend, and just… no-one bothered to check in with me.
The thing is, I know I’m not in the thick of things at the office. Everyone else are extroverted party people and active workout athletic types. So I hang out with folks maybe once a month, socially, and usually work related. Part of me understands, if you say “no” enough times to social events, people stop inviting you. Part of me can’t help wondering if we’ve passed the threshold of “we didn’t think you’d want to come” to become “we don’t want you to come”.
And yeah, if I’d been paying attention, I would have checked in more actively to make it clear I was interested still. It’s just… earlier this year, I made a point of trying to become more social, get more involved, maybe even try my hand at dating. Then I went to this convention, and ran headfirst into my introversion, and shyness. Since then, I just haven’t have the ability to give much of a fuck. I still make it into work, do my job (mostly) and feed myself, but I’m not watching my budget, not paying attention to bills, not drawing or working on any of the projects I started before the con, and almost completely withdrew from the social spaces I’d been getting into before the con. I’m just barely now starting to come out of that, when this hit me.
Blargh. sorry. need to find that letter for the therapist…
Hang in there, LWF – it *is* possible for terminal introverts to keep stepping out and find new social spaces for themselves despite how worrying it is. Perhaps try something smaller than a con where there’s structured interaction – join a book club or go to a board game club?
OT and a wild tangent: Inspiration for all you aspiring writers out there https://twitter.com/WorstMuse
@leftwingfox:
Please, you do not have to feel as if you need to apologize – it’s what the thread is for after all! You’re welcome to post about your social argh barg how do I into people feelings.
Also that sounds like that sort of sucks, by accident of people, not by malicious design. Which is in some way good? I was / am in the same sort of position. I work with people and do office stuff and patter around, but I’m not really good at the Social Thing and there’s been a few times where people did the “We just assumed you’d rather be home reading” when handing out invitations. It’s not a nice thing to have happen.
It doesn’t quite sound like that’s your issue, though? Not giving much of a fuck is really useful for a lot of purposes and can also completely screw over your life and mental balance. Sometimes a bit of distance is what you need, only, it sounds like you’re worrying you’re withdrawing too much from your active attempts at socializing?
It’s okay to make a two steps forth, one step back with these things.
@J.J
Whatever you do in the cat food department, be sure to check the label and ensure that “beet meal” is nowhere in the ingredient list. I don’t see it as often now as I used to, but some brands still use it. Beet meal is SUPER high in sugar (comparative to a cat’s natural diet of birds and rodents, which contains essentially zero simple sugars) and leads to metabolic problems and sometimes diabetes.
NaNo?
AAAaaaaaaahhhhhhhh! NOOOOOOO! It CAN’T be only two months away! It was still June just the other day!! There’s got to be plenty of time still!!!!!!
*checks calendar*
*checks draft progress*
*faints*
Well, I was, you know, thinking about it. Maybe.
Figure I’ll drop this here.
I finished all my dishes today. I have not a single dirty dish. This has not been the case in over a year. My sink had been full to the point that any more dishes piled on would have fallen off, so there was another pile on top of my stove, and kind of on my counter. It was horrible.
See, after being laid off from my second-last job, I kind of spiraled a bit. Then got into a relationship, fell pretty hard and kind of was never home. Then he broke up with me, and I spiraled more, letting my apartment go to absolute shit. Then I got my last job, and I was volunteering so much overtime that I was too exhausted to clean anything when I got home (except my toilet, bath, and bathroom sink every now and then). Well, then of course I quit because sexual harassment and knew I was likely to spiral again.
Except, NO. I cleaned all my goddammed dishes. I did groceries (I’ve been living off Tim Hortons egg and cheese wraps, iced capps, juice, and food from various cheap restaurants for almost a year), cooked for myself and cleaned the dishes I used. I also folded and put away all my sweaters and blouses. Still have mountains of clean clothes, but I’ll do those tomorrow. And, so, yeah! I’m kind of proud of me right now. Now, if I could just find another job quickly, that would be awesome. lol
@Alex
Hooray! 😀 Although I’m not sure why you feel like you have to excuse not doing dishes for a while (even a year). They’re your dishes, to do or not do. “I didn’t feel like doing dishes for a year” is a perfectly good reason to not do dishes. “I got tired of looking at my dishes and did them” is a perfectly good reason to do them.
@leftwingfox,
Hugs if you want them. That really sucks, and I know the feeling. I think you’re awesome, though, and I would totally invite you to an introverted get together! We could all have books and laptops and cats and sudoku puzzles, and totally do our own things, but every now and then share with the others when one of us finds something interesting, funny, or rant-worthy.
@Policy of Madness,
Ah, well, shame from my grandparents, I guess (they mean well). And anyway, when I got to the ones in the sink, some of them were kind of scary, so I’m not going to let that happen again! lol But also thanks. No one’s actually ever said anything along the lines of “They’re your dishes to do or not do” to me before. I appreciate that. 🙂
@Alex
Hey, I know the power of the Judgmental Eye. I am a naturally untidy person, and I feel the Great And Dread Eye on me even when I am alone in my home and literally nobody can see my clutter. Of course it’s 100x worse when someone comes to visit.
But really … they ARE your dishes. It’s good to keep things clean, but it’s hardly a moral failing if you don’t.
Hey there leftwingfox,
I know how much that hurts. I can tell you with a fair degree of certainty that you most certainly ARE wanted and welcome. Here’s the thing: people are preoccupied and thoughtless. Thoughtless isn’t bad, just means “didn’t think”. I grew up in a family where everyone had to vie for the spotlight to be noticed – and even then it was only to be competed with. My point is, introverts are generally easier to be around than extroverts and most likely not the ones being actively excluded. I get why you’d feel excluded, totally get it. But trust me, (as much as u can trust a random commenter) they did not actively exclude you, just thoughtlessly, you know, lack of invite. I’m almost certain your company is wanted more than the office extrovert douchecanoe. (Not to knock extroverts – I am one). I’m married to an introvert and I’ve spent many a night explaining to him the utter thoughtlessness of those too busy vying for the spotlight to pay attention to anything else. Like the awesome person listening. 🙂
Great Judgmental Dread Eye is the worst. :s When living with others, I can keep shared space clean, but…my apartment is not shared space. Just me! But I always warn my friends before they visit (don’t have many of those, though), and when my crush comes over I always wish it was cleaner, and my grandparents want to come over at the end of November. It. MUST. Be. Clean. By. Then…It’s getting there, though! I will not end up on hoarders! I’ve actually taken out a lot of garbage lately. Amazing how wrappers and shit can build up. But it’s pretty much all gone. Now I just have some recycling to take out, and my kitchen’s starting to look oddly empty. Oo! Maybe one of these days, I’ll actually sleep in my bed again instead of my couch…That, too, is something that hasn’t happened in over a year. Oy.
Lots to catch up on!
First, hi and welcome to everyone delurking! Hope you’ve all had your Welcome Packages!
Hurrah for more knitters, stitchers and crafty people in general being Mammotheers – do you know we have a group on Ravelry? It’s called Crafty SPINSTERS. Not the busiest group around, but more members are always welcome!
gilshalos, my eyes bugged out when you said your gravatar’s your stitchwork. I thought it was a photo of a statue – it makes me think of Michelangelo’s Pieta.
Lots of hugs for everyone going through rotten stuff, and cheers for everyone’s achievements/improvements/kitties!
K, I missed seeing your kitty pic. 🙁
childrenofthebroccoli, so glad Penny’s recovering.
Dvarg, argh, elections. Fingers and toes crossed for booting the horrible right-wingers.
Tom J. Nelson, wow, that foreman … smh, he shouldn’t even be working, let alone supervising anyone, with that attitude.
@Alex
Nobody can make you clean (I mean, really make you) except you. Don’t do it for your grandparents. Do it for you! Do it because you feel better in a clean place! I hope you do feel better in a clean place. I know I always do.
Reading this page, and lots of extra hugs going around for everyone.
Alex, it sounds like you are getting into a healthier mental space where you have more spoons. Glad to hear it!
@LWF…We here at our headspace understand.
We’re socially very erratic due to brain cooties.
But honestly, they probably would not mind if you went along…I mean, I can’t imagine you being actively not likeable, just rather quiet, which is ok.
When sleeping outdoors in a camp, quiet’s good.
@ Alex…I sort of fell into a depressive crater after the ex-wife went, and was also sort of enjoying the freedom of not being screamed at or around and being randomly put into a panic attack…(now NOBODY can yell at me anymore and give me panic attacks! YAY!)
That and I have physical health issues that include fatigue.
So the kitchen is now…home to many small lifeforms…oddly enough, no German cockroaches, but I’ve got enough fruit flies for a number of breeding experiments.
The mice, if present, are now keeping a lower profile. Frogs or lizards do not do well indoors and get removed gently.
If you really need to scare your grandparents, I guess I could send you a picture.
“Look! It could be THIS bad!”
@leftwingfox, As a fellow introvert, I feel your pain. I think large conventions are one of the worst places for introverts, unless there are smaller spaces that you can navigate within them, or you have “partners in crime” to navigate them with.
Introversion gets mistaken for a lot of things: aloofness, dislike, snobbishness. People (at least non-introverts) rarely seem to take it at face value.
Unsolicited advice starts here: Not sure if you wanted advice, and not sure mine is applicable to you, but I recognize that I do better in small groups than I do at parties or conventions, so I actively try to build relationships that way. Instead of going out with a whole group after work, I ask 1 or 2 people to lunch (or to go on a hike, or to a movie, or whatever) whenever I can. Over time, I’ve built up a number of relationships with individuals, and now when there’s a larger gathering I am more likely to view it as a gathering of individuals I like rather than a huge & treacherous group I have to navigate.
I’ve been successful enough with this that now no one believes that I’m shy.
I’m sure this won’t work for everyone, so I’m just sharing in case it might be useful. Please ignore if unsolicited advice is unwelcome.
/unsolicited introvert advice
~~ hugs ~~