An open thread for personal stuff, continuing from here.
As usual for these threads: no trolls, no MRAs, no I’m-not-really-an-MRA-buts, don’t be mean.
Categories
We Hunted The MammothBucking the Backlash
We Hunted The Mammoth
Cooking risotto. Chicken stock, onions, mushrooms, garlic, smoked sausage. Tastes gorgeous.
Oh, and grated cheese!
Second plate. Just love the taste.
RE: gilshalos
Also, your booklet about eating disorders has really helped me. Just someone saying ‘Eat something, don’t matter if it is healthy’ has helped me to eat /something/.
I’m glad it was useful! It’s definitely been useful for me too.
Do other women really love chocolate so much ?
I’m not a woman, but I am a chocolate FIEND. The darker the better. OM NOM NOM GIVE IT TO ME. The Kid is similar. The girls in this system… well, Mir likes fancy desserts like creme brulee and enjoys chocolate okay, but Gigi doesn’t like much of anything if it’s not green and mild in flavor. She NEVER eats sweets, just makes this face.
RE: Kittehs
Does anyone here who’s in a long-term relationship just keep feeling amazed at it?
Yeah. I probably would not have survived the past seven years without Mac. Every once in a while, I just look at him and I’m like, “Oh my god, how could I have forgotten how BEAUTIFUL this man is?” His smile, his laugh, his kindness… marrying him was one of the smartest decisions I ever made.
Falconer, LBT, long-term-amazing-relationships high five!
Gods, yes, this. Same here. Just … breathtaking, sometimes. There’s something MRAs and their ilk will never understand: someone doesn’t have to be a catwalk model, doesn’t even have to come close to ever-narrowing conventional beauty, to be stunning, when one is capable of love.
Likewise. I had a whole heap of discovering to do, too, because Louis has changed so much since his first forty years, when he was a hot mess in many ways. Didn’t stop me falling for him anyway, but to learn what he’s like after all that shit he went through is long since healed … I’d never have thought to see him so happy.
Is it bad that I feel good about having been celibate for years ? I wasn’t a very nice person when in a relationship. Though I remember that feeling. My last ex wasn’t that good-looking, but his charisma coulda cut through a brick wall. Of course, whilst he was perfect for me, I always knew that I wasn’t perfect for him, so I just enjoyed it whilst it lasted. He cared for me, but he didn’t love me. But that was enough. Ah well.
Nothing bad about that at all! Your choice and you feel good about it – kudos, I say!
Not in the least. Why on earth shouldn’t you feel good about it?
Conditioning, I guess. but yes, I am happier now than I ever was in a relationship. Since coming here I have tried to work out if I am asexual/aromantic or just not 100% female. But it really don’t matter which while I am happily single.
That’s what I reckon – what does it matter, if we’re happy and not hurting anyone?*
We are so heavily conditioned to think that we should be in relationships. It was just never going to happen for me, not after that day in 1981 in the library. Settling for anyone else … ugh. ::shudder::
It’s funny with the labelling thing, isn’t it? It’s like that urge to be able to say, “Yes! This is me and I’m not the only one!” I did some of that after coming here, too, just because of seeing terms I hadn’t known before (like the umpteen shades of asexuality). I’ve sort of got to the stage of “meh”. I don’t fit any of those pigeonholes, my sexuality is what it is, and there isn’t a commonly-used term for it. Makes me slightly cross that monosexual doesn’t mean “attracted to one person only” because it’d be a darn sight more useful to me if it did.
*NB hurting does not include “giving dudes sadboners by making ourselves unavailable to them”.
There are many, many times that my life would have been made easier if I did not desire sex so much…And eventually it really needs to be with another person or I start feeling like I’m going to…um, I dunno…Sprout a lot of fur, a tail, and go bay at the moon or something…
One time I was working in a job wherein we workers had reason to sweat, and a guy’s fresh sweat smell literally inspired me to beat my head against the wall (albeit gently) in sexual frustration.
Life would be much easier if I did not have to deal with…AROOOOOOOO!!!!
Relationships are total trouble. I say this as a happily married woman. lol My relationship now is great but I remember a time when my relationships were not so great and I was seriously on the brink of despair. It’s hard. I couldn’t figure out whether I really wanted to be in a long term relationship or not. String of lovers for the rest of my life? No true love? NO MIRACLES. I didn’t know what I wanted for a while. The struggle is all too draining. I was happy when I didn’t have some person to fret over. I finally figured things out and have the relationship I want but damn it was a HUGE struggle to get here. Giving up seemed like the greatest thing to do for a time.
…One more thing…I’ve been playing musical SSRI’s for all my adult life. Those things tamp down one’s sex drive. So it’s not as strong as it could be.
Prozac shut lustfulness off for 9 months when I was put on it at 16.Suddenly, I stopped thinking about sex.
When it came back, it was like…Oh, there’s that familiar, constant pressure…Grr.
My meds tend to fuck (hehehe) with my sex drive, too. It’s a mixed bag. On the one hand I am sometimes meh and that’s fine but at the same time I’m like…..I wanna be sexual with my husband. It’s not a serious problem but one I think about from time to time.
Yeah, I’ve done the SSRI merry-go-round as well. Prozac didn’t kill my libido, but it didn’t have much of a chance. It gave me major travel sickness so for the few dys I was on it I spent wedged into a corner seat. It was amusing cos a friend was on major painkillers after fracturing his neck at the same time, so we were wedged into opposite seat corners goinh ‘This is my piece of roof…go away!”
I’m glad that the prospect of [some hypothetical man] ended before it’d begun. Socialising, let alone whatever passes for dating (not really a thing here the same way as it seems to be in the US) was no more attractive to me at 17 than it is at 51. With my attention already having been caught by guess-who, I think I went through a lot less angst than I might have done, and was certainly safe from getting involved with anyone who might have turned out to be an abusive shit. I hadn’t the life skills or awareness to have negotiated that particular minefield with any sort of assurance. As it was … yeah, I was hella lonely for him all those years, and yes, sexually frustrated (led to lots of writing, drawing and miniature-making, though – sublimation can be pretty useful!), but the only thing I’d change is how flaming long it took for me to realise it was all there waiting!
Oh, and manifestation. I love our life at Home but I would looooove to have him here in earthly flesh as well.
I’m fairly asexual, which ended up with my only serious relationship ending as my partner lost patience after four years and breaking up. Can’t say I blame her much, I was the one stupid enough never to talk about it. Have internalized a lot of shit about sex being dirty though, which could contribute…
Btw, Grumpycatisagirl, how did the second job interview go?
khittehserf: I’ve seen manuscript pages with ink pawprints all over them.
Hey redpoppy, you should def get in touch with SoCal Siamese Rescue if you haven’t already. One of their people got in touch with me to encourage you to join.
Found the article!
http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2013/03/130326-animals-medieval-manuscript-books-cats-history/
I’ve seen that one, KathleenB! I love it. Kitty knocks over ink and leaves pawprints over all that work. XD
@ Aitch condolences… Honestly, if I did not have a strong sex drive it wouldn’t be worth getting triggered, which…Only does not happen when I’m having casual sex.
Once I care about the person? Gahhh.
Some of you may remember that I’ve been having period problems. Had a really bad one in may/june – six damn weeks of on and off bleeding and cramping. Ended up in the ER after soaking a tampon in an hour. Thank god for the Affordable Care Act, because I ended up getting LOTS of tests. Turned out that the thickened endometrium was back. FUN!
Got a GYN referral, explained my problems with hormones. He was kind enough to set me up for a hysteroscopy/d&c under general anesthesia. Biopsy came up positive for endometrial hyperplasia, a huge risk factor for reproductive system cancers. And since I can’t take the hormones that are the usual treatment, I got a total hysterectomy. Everything went – cervix, ovaries, tubes and all (good thing, too, because pathology found precancerous cells on one ovary). And I feel amazing. With the estrogen I got for hot flashes, the headache that started when dad got sick in 2008 and never really stopped is GONE. The constant litany of anxieties at the back of my head is actually controllable (though the extra space is currently taken up by ear worms…). Even the worry that everything will go back to the way it was is just… there. I know I can’t do anything about it, so I’m not obsessing. It’s bizarre.
tl;dr: had a radical hysterectomy, estrogen drastically improved my quality of life. but hot flashes can step on ALL the proverbial lego.
khittehserf: I’ve also read about marginal notes in manuscripts complaining about how annoying the cat was being, how the writer hated what they were copying, rude comments about the translations… Medieval manuscripts can be a lot of fun.
Kathleen, wow, what a horrible lot of health stuff to go through – and YAYYY for hysterectomy, estrogen and feeling so much better!
I totally agree about hot flashes. I’ve barely had a touch of them yet and they are goddamn PESTS.
I love some of the margin illustrations – not even the scribbles, but ones meant to be there – in medieval manuscripts. I’d love to see ones complaining about teh kittehs. 😀