An open thread for personal stuff, continuing from here.
As usual for these threads: no trolls, no MRAs, no I’m-not-really-an-MRA-buts, don’t be mean.
Categories
We Hunted The MammothBucking the Backlash
We Hunted The Mammoth
I’m finding that I do a lot better in interviews when I know something about what to expect. I really had no idea what was going to happen in that recent 15-minute oral exam I did and I felt pretty blindsided by the whole arrange and the questions – they weren’t anything like the kind of questions you’re always told to be prepared for. It really felt more like a pop quiz than an attempt to get to know anything about me as a person.
Today, though, I know who’s on the panel and have an idea of what kind of questions to be prepared for, and that does make a world of difference in my confidence.
So it’s this afternoon. Wish me luck! I really want this one.
And I wish you the best of luck with gaining weight, maistrechat. I don’t know enough to offer advice but thoughts are with you.
Adding a bunch of hugs to the barrel. Also, a baby penguin getting tickles.
And this seems a good place to post this. I heard this guy interviewed on NPR. He draws “women too awesome, awful or off-beat to be in kids movies” in the style of Disney princesses. There’s a lot of cool historical women on this.
maistreschat: I have you tried something like Ensure? Nutritional shakes are what the nutritionist at the hospital usually recommends as supplements for people who need more nutrition/to gain weight. We also have something called a “Magic Cup,” which is basically ice cream loaded with protein and vitamins, but I’m not sure if that’s available outside a hospital setting. Also, try eating lots of little meals and snacks rather than three big meals. Is it mainly a problem with just not having an appetite?
It’s partially an appetite thing and partially an “I get bored while eating and so stop eating and go do other, more interesting things” thing. Doctor told me to try and load up on more calorie-dense foods (and I did make it 2 months without losing any weight for the first time in about a year). I was drinking shake-type things pretty regularly but tried to cut back because I felt like 200 grams of sugar a day was probably not healthy.
I was on stimulant meds for a while until the side effects became too much and while that was going on I had a bigger appetite than I’ve ever had before. An aggravating factor is that I work in the Loop so I have to go through airport-style security every time I enter the building which makes going out to lunch much less fun. I tend to forego lunch entirely if I forget to pack something because I don’t want to deal with the hassle of going through security.
RE: maistrechat
I’m recovering from an eating disorder, so I have lots of practice in getting food into my face! I even made a zine about eating when you don’t want to! (You can also see the free version here.)
If you can get a nutritionist or a doctor to help you with this, I found a meal plan invaluable. I no longer had to rely on my appetite (which had pretty much entirely vanished by that point) to gauge how much and when to eat. You eat X meals every day. Same time. Same amount. No excuses.
Keep meal times and follow them religiously. They are your gods now, and they must be appeased. Routine is imperative for getting your body used to things.
Also, regarding work security: pack your lunch. Seriously. Even if it’s just a microwave thing. It’ll make shit easier because you can GUARANTEE you are eating the shit you should be, and also means you have less excuse to skip the meal entirely.
maistreschat: If it’s an appetite thing, then having a meal plan like LBT said would be a good thing. And yeah, that much sugar a day isn’t good in the long term, but if you need to eat and gain weight and the shakes are something easy that you can do, then I’d say go for it. Just anything that you can eat that appeals to you.
One of my best friends had to get her daughter and her mother to gain some weight for health reasons, when both had very poor appetites. She said one of the things that worked for her was putting high calorie ingredients in anything. Her joke was, “I don’t care what you’re eating, I’m going to put some butter on or in it.Tomato sauce on pasta? Add a couple tbsp of butter. A banana? Here’s some butter.” Basically understand that she might not be able to get them to eat very much, so she tried to make every bite count.
Just in case that helps. Good luck!
I third the meal plan thing. Having food ready and on-hand means that you can eat without adding a bunch of work to the front end, which can make it easier to just not eat (or to just eat out if you’ve got the opposite problem).
From what I’ve been learning about insulin and fat storage, it seems like you should add lots of good fats to your diet. Avocados, coconut or other nut butters by the spoon, oily fish. Lots of calories without extra sugar, and packed with fats that are good for your brain and neurones and just about everything.
So I had my interview. I probably won’t know more about whether I got the job yet for another two-three weeks, but I do know it went *way* better than my last lousy interviews. It’s nice to actually feel good about myself after an interview. Novel feeling.
Anyway, thanks again to everyone who gave me advice and encouragement.
grumpycat, glad it went well, regardless of the outcome. Maybe that will help chip away at the “Argh interviews” feeling.
High fives for surviving Interveiwingness!
@grumpycatisagirl, That’s awesome. You’re awesome. I’m also awaiting the results of an interview. Let’s hope we both get our dream jobs! Let’s hope everyone else looking for jobs gets them!
Hugs and best wishes to everyone waiting for interview results!
Thank you! Yes, everybody should have dream jobs! Absolutely!
I was pretty obviously nervous during my interview, but I think my answers were good anyway. And they all know me from before, and have seen that I don’t act that nervous in real life. So hopefully the nervousness won’t wreck things.
The southern resident killer whale population is declining for a while bunch o’ reasons, which sucks. No new babies since 2012. š
Happy news! This morning twenty-three year old southern resident orca L86 showed up with a brand new baby by her side, L120.
With a little luck, L120 will survive their first year of life and there will be more calves to come for this fragile population.
Baby pic: http://i243.photobucket.com/albums/ff176/privatedancer_bucket/unnamed2_zps8c5a7e7c.jpg
Thank you everybody for your support and your kind words. It has helped me a lot, really. I needed to hear this. I took a while to write as I have been trying to get away from the internet because of all the lawyers and other stuff associated with the scam. I just could not deal with it anymoreā¦
Being scammed gives you a very bitter taste in the mouth… But I donāt want to give up on trusting people. As kage said, I believe that is a good thing and I know I will suffer for it, but I donāt want to lose hope. Most people in my life are awesome people. I donāt want to close my heart.
I love living where I live, but it is hard to be away from my family sometimes. This is one of those times. I am glad I have many friends, but I donāt feel like sharing most of my troubles. I think opening up is one of my biggest issuesā¦.
On another note, I hope we can all get our dream jobs or find out what our dreams jobs are š
This is as good a place as any to say it: Happy birthday to Louis’s and my friend, M. de Richelieu!
Whenever I’m asked what my ambition is, I say to be one of the idle rich. I’ve got the idle bit down pat, it’s just the rich part that’s proving tricky.
Sometimes I would like to be rich, but not filthy rich. I would like to be wealthy enough that I didn’t have to think about money or work in things I don’t like just to pay the bills.
But most times I just would like to have a small cottage with a garden where I could plant some vegetables, spices, fruits…. ^_^
I have tried to do a meal plan thing but maƮtressechatte works retail which makes planning a meal pretty difficult. That coupled with the fact that my commute is 1.5 hours each way. Still going to give it a shot. MaƮtressechatte has an interview for a 9-5 this week which would make that a great deal simpler.
I do love coconut oil. It makes a good spread for crackers.
Thanks for all the suggestions everybody.
Re:pineapplecookies
I seem to recall a number of studies claiming that once you hit that threshold of being able to cover normal living expenses comfortably increasing income does nothing for how happy people are.
Happy birthday, Richelieu!
Funny thing: I was listening to Revolver on the way to my interview, because I thought listening to something as familiar and dear to me as Beatles songs would help reduce my anxiety. I think it did help. But when George’s “I Want to Tell You” song came on, I realized the lyrics were describing my anxiety about interviews exactly. Of course I think he meant different kinds of human interaction (did George Harrison ever have to go to a job interview in his life?), but wow, he nailed it.
*throws celebratory ribbons and confetti*
HOME!. HOME, HOME, HOME!!
*coughs*
Sorry. After a bit over a week living in a house with other people in it I start wanting to scream and lash out anytime anyone comes near me.
Is it just me, or do other people feel like their uh..sense of self is restricted to just above your skin when around other people, so it doesn’t brush against theirs, but in an empty place, you can relax and let it spread out over a much larger area ?
That was my favorite part too. Unless the dentist is bisexual, her being a woman was definitely relevant. I also like the next line, about how he fired her to “preserve his marriage” – in addition to the “boys will be boys” bullshit, the idea that you can sacrifice your employees for your personal life is pretty messed up.
LBT, re: your repressed memory: my dad once told me that he can’t meditate because it tends to lead to repressed memories surfacing. For him, this is not an optimal outcome, but if you’re trying to get it out, maybe going quiet and making a space for the memory would help coax it out.
Also, this may sound a little woo, but stick with me for a second: do you have access to a Tarot deck? Between the rich visual symbolism and the structure of a formal spread, I find the Tarot really effective for figuring out what’s going on in my brain (though I’m working with non-repressed stuff). You could try just going through the deck until you find a card or two that demand your attention for whatever reason. In modern decks, each card is telling a story – maybe, in trying to determine what’s happening on the cards you chose, you’ll find that the story the cards are telling is related to the one your mind is trying to tell you.
Piggybacking on the Tarot deck suggestion, if you’re not interested in doing a spread but have some familiarity with the layout of the deck itself, you could design your own deck. I tried it with a bunch of blank index cards once and the results were disturbing but enlightening at the same time. Certainly helped deal with some personal demons.