A bitter gamebro wandered into the Men’s Rights subreddit last night to deposit an angry little manifesto on the evils of women and Social Justice Warriors. He didn’t get a terribly friendly reception from the regulars — last I checked he’d been voted down to zero — but his manifesto is such a classic example of self-pitying gamebro misogyny that I sort of felt obliged to bring it to you all here.
Are you sitting comfortably? Good. Then let’s begin.
I am shocked — shocked! — to hear this about the laundry, as the females I live with are quite fastidious about their personal cleanliness, spending a good portion of their waking moments licking their fur coats clean. But they are cats, after all.
The human females I know are mostly slobs, actually, though I can’t claim to be any better myself.
How exactly did the state of one’s laundry come to be a factor in deciding a human being’s worth, anyway?
Also, I’m thinking that “cause I’m a penis, and that’s all I am” would look really good on a t-shirt. Anyone else agree?
I wonder if that couch is anywhere near THE BEACH?
David Bowie is misandry!
@It’saFerret –
My own experiences show me that I was really naive and uneducated, back in the day. So, my experiences, while real, do not necessarily make me right.
It is important to acknowledge people’s experiences, and to believe their experiences are what they say they are. However, the OP did more than relate an experience. He extrapolated a conspiracy based on “my experience of not getting the job.”
This is bad logic, based on insufficient evidence. And yeah, we can poke at that as much as we want, thankyouverymuch.
If that OP had simply been relating his experience, it would have gone something like this: “I was trying for a promotion. The only competition for the post was a woman, who is conventionally attractive. Also, I know that she had the qualifications for the job. That day, I saw her wearing her shirt with one of the buttons undone. She got the job, and I did not.”
Oh, sure, that can be interpreted as maybe the boss gave her the job because he found her attractive. But it can also be interpreted as maybe the boss knew her personality would be a better fit for the job than the OP’s personality (this interpretation can easily be backed up by the evidence of OP’s personality in that he jumped to the worst conclusion ever, without any real evidence).
Or maybe, in that particular instance, she actually did do something unethical, and the boss did something unethical, and actual human beings, with flaws, were involved.
The thing is, from OP’s limited perspective, we cannot know for sure, anyway.
@leocigale – I have just saved your “sad/angry boner” comic as a custom painting in my Sims 2 game!
You are an artistic genius!
Also, my kitten is trying to eat my orange. LOL
I absolutely love the songs and Sad Penis. And I really hate the “makeup is a LIE” brigade. Seriously? Makeup is about as deceptive as wearing clothing. In fact, clothing can be way more deceptive than makeup. And Kootiepatra, that would be a really funny website…I feel the same way, like someone needs to print them a card or something so that they can spot makeup, since they seem to not notice that your standard human doesn’t come with eyeshadow.
Loving these cartoons and songs!
@hellkell – when I lived in an apartment, and doing laundry in the laundry room was a real pain, not to mention prohibitively expensive, I invested about $30 on a “Wonder Washer,” which is a cranked washer. It does small loads, but it gets them clean really fast!
Basically, it’s a tumbler, with a crank, and a drain at the bottom. You put the clothes, soap and water in the top, crank it for a minute or two, depending on how dirty the clothes are, then take out the cork and let it drain.
Not having the upper body strength to effectively wring out the clothes, I also invested about $30 in a “salad spinner” for my clothes. It was electric, and bigger than an actual salad spinner, but the concept is the same. It spun the clothes mostly dry. Then I hung them up on a drying rack.
It took about 5 minutes to do a small load of clothes, so doing one load per day (just enough to fill the drying rack) was not a burden. Over the course of the next two years, I have no idea how much time and money I saved!
Now, I have a regular washer and dryer, and love it. But, if I ever go back to apartment living, I will definitely get the tumbler-crank-washer and the salad spinner again. They were fantastic!
Note – the “Wonder Washer” might not be the best brand. I forget. However, when the crank didn’t want to work, I just tumbled it by hand, grabbing the top of the barrel and pushing it down, and alternating hands, and found that it was actually more comfortable than using the crank. Also, the valve for the drain broke, but I just used a cork, and problem solved.
Also note – if you get the electric salad spinner for your clothes, get some sort of block to raise it up higher than your sink, or the thing won’t drain properly. Also, it tends to shake a lot, and move around, but wrapping your wooden block with duct tape will give it enough friction to keep it in place.
You can get a little thing to put on your faucet to quickly attach a hose, and then it comes off with ease, so for less than $100, you can have a complete set-up for laundry in an apartment that will last you for years. You do need some counter space while you’re doing the laundry, but you can certainly remove the machines to some other storage location, between loads, if counter-space is at a premium. Just make sure the storage area has plenty of air circulation, so they can dry properly.
For hand-washing, I highly recommend a blend of Borax, Washing soda (better than baking soda, although baking soda will do, if you can’t get washing soda) and finely grated Fels-Naptha laundry soap. It comes in bars. You’ll probably want to get a separate grater, so your food doesn’t wind up tasting like soap. But still, it’s inexpensive equipment. Mix 1 bar of soap with a cup of borax and a cup of soda, and blend the powders well. Keep them in an air-tight container, and apply 1 small scoop (basically about 2 Tbs.) to your load of laundry.
One of the best things about doing it this way, is that it really saves on the wear and tear of your clothes. No clothes-dryer lint (actually disintegrated clothes!). No dryers heat-sealing stains into your clothes. If you wash them, and then find that they are still stained, you can still salvage them, because the stains have not been heat-set in by the dryer! I managed to make my clothes last a whole lot longer, which was great!
I also find that squirting a bit of hydrogen peroxide directly on a stain really helps in the quick removal of said stain, particularly blood. In fact, one treated item can boost the cleaning power for the whole load, because hydrogen peroxide is a great laundry-booster.
@the kind people who discussed my comment, I didn’t realise I’d coined ‘pornosexuality’. I read your responses, which I do, and I did some research and find that I was thinking of the related concept of ‘pornotopia’, as referred to in Stephen Marcus’ book _The Other Victorians_,
Having said that I think ‘pornosexuality’ is a useful term to describe ‘sexual behaviour as perceived by people who think porn is real life’, and indeed I see that is what it was taken to mean by those responders who didn’t think I was a troll.
@Kootiepatra:
Actually, my sister “Slappy” (she doesn’t let me use her name online) has naturally red lips. She’s been ill for quite some time, and gradually getting paler and paler, with anemia. When she went into the hospital and received 4 (FOUR!!!) units of blood (We had no idea she was that ill, and neither did she. She was in total denial), she looked so much better. It was amazing.
We went to see her in the hospital, and there she lay in the hospital bed, with tubes and stuff, and looking a mess, but my mother said, “Why are you wearing lipstick?” Slappy never wears make-up, and doesn’t even OWN lipstick, so if she were wearing lipstick, it could only mean that someone else put it on her.
Nope. She wasn’t wearing lipstick. Her lips were just back to the natural red color they used to be.
Now, black lips in nature? That is a reaaaallllyyyyy red flag! Possible zombie alert!
Hi Georgina!
Thanks for coming back and clarifying. It’s useful, and I look forward to seeing you around!
@Alex – I don’t shave, I don’t wear make-up, I don’t wear perfume, I don’t wear “shape wear” or dress to “hide my flaws.”
So, basically, I’m honest as the day is long (about my appearance), and if some dude told me I was a “6,” I’d think – YAY! I’m naturally above average! And that’s without even wearing make-up or doing any of that other “camouflage” stuff. I TOTALLY ROCK!
Actually, I haven’t had a number thrown at me in years. I have no idea what my rating would be, but I’m not fussed about it, because the type of people who give number ratings to other people turn me off.
Heh. I just noticed my pic. It’s several years old, from back when I still had long hair, and it was actually done as an “after” photo from a friend doing a practice Mary-Kay sales pitch. I bought some lip balm. I still have it. LOL. In fact, I still have a lipstick from nearly 20 years ago. I keep it for nostalgia, because I think it would be pretty gross to actually use it, now. Nice color, though.
So, I guess I’m a lying liar who lies, because I am using a non-recent photo of me with long hair and make-up. Well, what can I say? I’m a woman, so what else can you expect of me?
@Bina –
Actually, I have encountered this. When I was at college – a church-run, conservative school where women were REALLY encouraged to marry as soon as possible – I saw it fairly frequently.
I always got a kick out of it, though. I’d see lovely hand-crafted items on display in my dormie’s rooms, but these girls didn’t know how to sew, knit, crochet, cross-stitch, embroider, spin or weave. Meanwhile, I spent a lot of time on a variety of handicrafts, and had absolutely nothing I had made on display in my room, because they were almost always gifts for someone else.
The only hand-crafted item people saw in my room were my quilt, and that was made by my grandmother. I did mend it, though.
Funnily, the guys who saw the crafted things thought that it made the young women “good wife material.” Meanwhile, I’d be sitting in the lobby, knitting, and one of these “good wife material,” “domestic,” “feminine” young women would ask me “What are you weaving?”
That one made me laugh out loud.
I have met a few people who enjoy cleaning. Interestingly, the number is fairly evenly split between men and women. It’s not “feminine.” It’s “neat.”
Thanks for coming back to explain, Georgina. I still don’t like the word pornosexuality, but I have no issues with your intent. Pornotopia, however, is an interesting word and concept. Thank you for sharing it.
Thanks for the clarification, Georgina!
@Georgina, thanks also for responding! I wouldn’t know if you’d coined the word or not – never saw it before – but it seems really apt to describe the sort of dudebros who do think porn = actual everyday sex, that women should look like porn actresses, and that it’s an insult to the masculinity if a woman doesn’t want all those things done to her. (Note “to” her; not “however many people having consensual fun together”.)
@Buttercup:
::dies::
@Bina – slack housekeeper solidarity fistbumps! 😀
@ Georgina
I understood what you meant too (and agreed), I just didn’t feel like jumping into the conversation while knees seemed to be a-jerking.
(Bear with me, I was sleepy today and there’s only a little blood in the caffeine-stream)
Marinerachel said:
Actually, with men, that would totally freaking work. Why do I say that?
I used to read gay male personals when such things were printed in free local little freebie bar papers, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth in the 90’s.
Yanno what? ALL the personal adds had cock size and whether or not the guy was circ’ed or not. ALL of them!
Men are socialized differently from women.
So I don’t know if it’s boundary pushing all the time, so much as failure to compute that women are socialized a little differently and usually think a little differently.
Obviously sometimes it IS boundary pushing…but… I think some of the guys project “guy mind” at women…and then wonder why it doesn’t work.
And one more thought…the douchebros don’t stop to think that by reinforcing misogyny and slut shaming, they are actually working to inhibit female sexuality.
They want lots of sex, but they want to control female sexuality too…and these two goals are kind of in conflict.
Ultimately they are collectively depriving themselves of sex they might have had.
(…fail to insert boner here…)
Just because men are OK with that kind of direct approach from other men doesn’t mean you can assume they’d be OK with it coming from women. They’re socialized in terms of what they expect and are willing to accept from us too.
…
True, and I totally run afoul of that since I’m a female bodied person who thinks, acts, and dresses in ways that are more typically seen in men.
This works fine with women, but rather awkwardly with hetero guys.
An old friend of mine (gay bloke) on straight men and how twitchy they get about unexpected behavior from…well, everyone basically.
“Damn, those guys are so sensitive.”
There aren’t enough pearls in the world for some dudes to clutch, I swear.
Get off the pearls, we need the earrings?
Or this amazing ring/bracelet (though you’ll have to fight PZ Myers for it):
http://freethoughtblogs.com/pharyngula/files/2014/09/octopusring.jpg
Me too!
I do knit, crochet, sew, and I’ve even been known to spin and weave. And it almost kills me laughing to hear someone get any two of those mixed up.
OMG…is this trader-dude…MIKEY? But I thought he was a lawyer…
And holy shit, that octopus hand ornament is the pearl that clutches YOU!
Who was the guy complaining about the way the lady sat on the couch, like she just dropped onto it like a mighty walrus flomping on a rocky outcropping, and that it did horrible damage the the structural support of the couch? Who was that because I actually support them. I’d be pissed if someone disrespected my property like that too and they wouldn’t be welcome to sit on my furniture. I’d give them a cushion on the floor.
Did someone mention a walrus flopping on rocks?
http://s30.photobucket.com/user/allaseal/media/Random/penguinwalrus.gif.html