A bitter gamebro wandered into the Men’s Rights subreddit last night to deposit an angry little manifesto on the evils of women and Social Justice Warriors. He didn’t get a terribly friendly reception from the regulars — last I checked he’d been voted down to zero — but his manifesto is such a classic example of self-pitying gamebro misogyny that I sort of felt obliged to bring it to you all here.
Are you sitting comfortably? Good. Then let’s begin.
I am shocked — shocked! — to hear this about the laundry, as the females I live with are quite fastidious about their personal cleanliness, spending a good portion of their waking moments licking their fur coats clean. But they are cats, after all.
The human females I know are mostly slobs, actually, though I can’t claim to be any better myself.
How exactly did the state of one’s laundry come to be a factor in deciding a human being’s worth, anyway?
Also, I’m thinking that “cause I’m a penis, and that’s all I am” would look really good on a t-shirt. Anyone else agree?
OH! This made me think of that “doing laundry” scene in the first season of Red Dwarf. Cat was licking his clothes. Hilarious!
Thanks, David!
I read pornosxuality the same way kitteh did – to mean someone with completely expectations ideas of sex because they learnt everything they know from mainstream porn.
*completely unrealistic
I’m with Kitteh and Kim
Exactly! What amazes me the most is that the men who do this are often also the ones who will complain about how icky lady parts are. Newsflash guys…penises are not that nice to look at either.
I know, right? We’re not even allowed to do laundry, poop, or have dirty dishes, and yet guys like this think it’s perfectly OK to barge in and wave their dick in our faces.
I also love his followup shrieks of “I am above you! Know your place!!!” That’s some Rumpelstiltskin-level shit right there.
@Michelle,
Just read the post, and that’s EXACTLY what I thought!
And yeah, also seen Georgina Hale do a few dubious drive-by comment drops and not answer other commenters requests to clarify what they mean (I think the last was one about employee theft a day or so ago). I’m also pretty new here too but really not getting the vibe that G.H is a regular.
Guys who do the dick pic thing make me laugh. If they’re just keeping pictures of their erections for their own consumption, whatever. I have some great shots of my tits on my phone. The ones who send them completely unsolicited though – WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT’S APPEALING? You could have the most beautiful penis in the world and, if you’re a stranger, flashing pictures of it before my eyes without my express consent would STILL be alarming.
The thing is if some of these guys had pleasant personalities and conducted themselves reasonably I would probably want to see their dicks. I would likely even appreciate looking at their dicks in this context. They completely blow it before that even becomes a possibility by displaying their dreadful personalities though.
These dudes need to trust women. That’s the problem. They don’t think women know what they want or how to ask for it so they jump the gun and in doing so destroy any potential there ever may have been.
It’s so dumb because even if I wanted to see your cock before? Now I don’t, because you have no common sense, no manners, and no respect for women’s boundaries. That does not bode well in terms of how sex with you would probably go, so nope, you just eliminated yourself from consideration.
Even without the boundary issues, if the dude’s face was of no interest to me, seeing the peen wouldn’t improve matters. It could be the prettiest peen in the world (no I can’t imagine that either) but really, above the neck and between the ears take precedence, absolutely. The dangly bits … meh, so what? It’s the message that matters to me, not the attachments.
How the hell would dudes respond if we introduced ourselves to them in, like, twenty words and a vulva picture?
Terror?
“I’m 26, live with housemates, study molecular bio and calc, 5’8″, overweight with large breasts, like cats, no kids, here’s my cooter, tell me what you think, thanks bye.”
That’s basically what I receive and it grosses me out so I’d expect these fine gentlemen would be grossed out by me doing it too. BECAUSE IT’S FUCKING GROSS.
Make it a vagina dentata and you’d smell the dudes shitting themselves from miles away.
Now I imagine some sort of novelty fake teeth you can insert between your labia* just for NSFW Halloween-esque posing purposes. It would be a real niche(heh) product.
* Yes, technically vulva dentata. Artistic license.
Every time I see an internet guy complaining that makeup is an evil female deception foisted upon innocent, clueless dudebros, I am tempted to write a website of handy hints that I can forward to them as needed.
It would contain things like:
– Nobody (not even women) comes with thick black lines perfectly outlining their eyes. If the woman you are looking at has a thick black line around her eyes — especially if the lines are winged — she is wearing eyeliner.
– Nobody (not even women) naturally has shimmery blue, purple, gold, green, or pink eyelids. If the woman you are looking at has blue, purple, gold, green, or in anyway multicolored eyelids, she is wearing eyeshadow.
– Nobody (not even women) naturally has red, black, purple, or shimmery lips. etc. etc.
…Somehow I don’t think they’d appreciate that though.
But seriously. If a woman is wearing enough makeup that she looks significantly different without it, you can tell that she has makeup on. Even the most low-key, “natural” makeup looks different than a bare human face. It is widely accepted in Western culture that most women wear makeup — to the point that women who decide not to wear it are often given a hard time about it.
Since that is the case, it’s pretty grossly disingenuous to whine about it being deceitful.
I remember an Onion op-ed from about ten years ago called “If You Don’t Want to See My Cock, You Only Have to Ask”. The basic schtick was that it was written by this creepy dude whose default action on meeting someone was just to automatically show them his dick, and if you didn’t want to see it, you just had to let him know and he would try his best to acommodate your weird, not-wanting-to-see-strangers’-dicks hang-ups.
It seems the hostile takeover of reality by Poe’s Law continues apace.
I find it really funny when misogynists talk about makeup as deception. What do they think the social pressure to wear makeup comes from? Air? Nope, dudes. Once again, it’s that patriarchy you don’t believe exists.
Seriously, I was given a really hard time when I was a kid about not wearing makeup. Thankfully, in adulthood my family members finally shut up about it and guys I’ve dated don’t give a shit. My friends, on the other hand, like to wear it, and you know whatever. It’s a personal thing.
I do shave, though. Is that not deceptive? They do realize, women have leg and pit hair, right? Like, women don’t actually naturally come with only hair on our heads, eyebrows and eyelashes. Even hair on the upper lip for women ain’t all that uncommon.
And speaking of shaving, it turns out men shave, too! How dare these men shave their beards so as to deceptively hide what they look like with beards?
Also, also! We don’t come smelling like roses and lilies. Our natural scent just is not flowers or coconut or bubblegum or whatever.
“Respect mah authoritay!!!”
Um, yeah. Like making X amount of money somehow entitles you to be a shit with an arbitrary looks-rating system? Good luck getting the ladies with THAT, bub.
(Also, Kittehs’ offhand remarks about laundry reminded me to go wash my jeans before the weather gets dirty, as tonight’s forecast calls for thunderstorms. I am only domestic out of sheer necessity, and don’t know anyone who likes to cook, wash and clean just for the hell of it…or to prove how much more “feminine” she is than the next woman over.)
Kinda want to join a dating site now. Not for dates, but so I can lol at some dick pics and entitled brats.
Also, regarding makeup; I have seen on my fb some friends post those step-by-step photos of contouring and when guys see it they react like it’s black magic
Did somebody say… deceptive makeup?
http://media-cache-cd0.pinimg.com/736x/1e/e7/b6/1ee7b6a8852cb2a859a00ad330d9c584.jpg
@Bina
And then he’ll whine that all women are shallow gold diggers. I don’t know why he expects that chumming the online dating waters with money-bait is going to attract anything else, particularly when it’s attached to the hook of an atrocious personality with ragetitlement issues.
That is, assuming he really has made $32K since June “sitting on the couch”.
Oh, sorry: “sitting DIRECTLY on the couch”. (The more forcefully you repeat it, the louder it’s true.)
Sweet Holy Dog, this is why I love you people. My morning was off to a remarkably shitty start, and then there were disembodied penis cartoons and this absolute gem, and the world is slowly starting to seem less dismal.