A bitter gamebro wandered into the Men’s Rights subreddit last night to deposit an angry little manifesto on the evils of women and Social Justice Warriors. He didn’t get a terribly friendly reception from the regulars — last I checked he’d been voted down to zero — but his manifesto is such a classic example of self-pitying gamebro misogyny that I sort of felt obliged to bring it to you all here.
Are you sitting comfortably? Good. Then let’s begin.
I am shocked — shocked! — to hear this about the laundry, as the females I live with are quite fastidious about their personal cleanliness, spending a good portion of their waking moments licking their fur coats clean. But they are cats, after all.
The human females I know are mostly slobs, actually, though I can’t claim to be any better myself.
How exactly did the state of one’s laundry come to be a factor in deciding a human being’s worth, anyway?
Also, I’m thinking that “cause I’m a penis, and that’s all I am” would look really good on a t-shirt. Anyone else agree?
I’m a bit confused as to how not doing her laundry as often as might be ideal makes a woman a liar. Did she tell you that she does laundry ever day? Is she wearing a “Domestic Goddess With a Special Focus on Laundry” tshirt?
(If she’s wearing that shirt because she’s Nigella Lawson then she’s out of your league, dude, give it up.)
Because all women are automatically good at (and happy to do) ordinary domestic labor. So, by being a woman, she is declaring that she keeps a tidy house, and then she doesn’t keep a tidy house in fact. Hence: lying liar who lies.
Because Beaver’s mom did laundry and kept the house spotless, by which we can conclude that all women everywhere always keep up on everyone’s laundry, because it is the NATURAL ORDER of things. So of course, when I see a subhuman with girl parts, I automatically assume it does its laundry. And if I find out otherwise, she is a liar who misrepresented herself by being a subhuman with girl parts. Sheesh, cassandrakitty, you must be a women, because you sure can’t logic.
I think, if I understand the conventions here correctly, I’m supposed to say ninja’d now?
You’re right, Phoenician… I just couldn’t resist it when I pictured a whole gallery of MRA quotes in disembodied but highly personified boners, Manfeels Park-style (with dicks).
The angry boner is the best, I keep scrolling up and laughing
Bella! Correct; although, it was a valiant effort.
I’m pretty sure I remember the manosphere talking about the woman who won the Fields prize a couple weeks ago. It proved feminism is bad because Iran isn’t a feminist country and no inferior woman in the evil clutches of feminism can STEM.
Thanks, contrapangloss!
Sorry if this has already been said – I haven’t caught up with the comments yet.
But his argument seems to be
* women are getting jobs because they are pretty and they are qualified
* women aren’t even all that pretty
pretty + qualified – pretty = ?
@leocigale
You are a wonder!
leocigale, those are the only peens I’ve ever seen that could be called cute as well as laughable!
I’ll give Mr Sadboner this much: he reminded me I needed to put the laundry on. So he’s fulfilled one, possibly his only, useful function in society.
Re: Pornosexuality, there’s a concept called Autochorissexualism (identity-less sexuality, essentially), that crops up in some asexual people (and possibly others?). It means sexual attraction to people/situations without wanting or imagining oneself being involved in the proceedings to any extent. So basically people who like erotica/porn/imagining other people doing sexual things but don’t want to participate in the least beyond being a spectator.
I think Georgina is referring to pornography-influenced culture, though.
In other news, apparently women can now be fired for being TOO attractive: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/12/iowa-supreme-court-attractive-woman-firing_n_3586861.html
This guy isn’t getting not hired because he’s a penis, he’s not getting hired because he’s a dick. Or whiny man-baby with the people skills of a doorstop.
The cartoons and songs are wonderful!
As to why someone might not do laundry as often as titty-baby thinks they should, maybe they have to go to a laundromat or deal with the laundry room in their apartment building. Wrangling quarters and dealing with other people’s clothes because they can’t be arsed to time their laundry is a pain in the ass.
Why yes, I do miss my washer and dryer that are in storage right now.
@hellkell
Did you do that on purpose? In my slang dictionary dick = penis. 😀
Sorry, my question wasn’t actually very clear. In my slang dictionary, dick = penis + asshole. So really, if you did that on purpose, I think it was kind of brilliant.
Laundry: I don’t suppose it occurs to him that people wait for a full machine-load before washing the clothes, to save water and electricity.
(That, or “the washing has assumed tower-block proportions in the basket, I think it’s time to wash it now”. 😛 )
Belladonna: I meant to do that, thanks!
I always wait until I’m out of underwear to do laundry to save quarters. I also try to wait till I can take it to my dad’s.
Off topic: Former Governor Bob “Ultrasound” McDonnell was found guilty of corruption. Haha! Fuck you Governor Ultrasound!
Re: Pornosexuality, there’s a concept called Autochorissexualism (identity-less sexuality, essentially), that crops up in some asexual people (and possibly others?). It means sexual attraction to people/situations without wanting or imagining oneself being involved in the proceedings to any extent.
I’ll remember that the next time I get caught outside someone’s bedroom window.
“6 months!”
“Your Honour, it wasn’t voyeurism – it was autochorissexualism!”
“You’re right. Make it 183 days then.”
WWTH: In my 20’s I had my underwear stolen…not for a pervy reason. The jeans were on top in the bag while I was working in the haunted house…. I think some homeless dude snagged the whole bag out of my car.
At any rate, I was then undie-less.
I found it made things breezier and made less laundry to go commando, mostly.
Off topic again, but I bet this asshole is a red piller. http://jezebel.com/finance-douche-throws-pee-pants-tantrum-after-being-rej-1630717593
The rating system and the Sex and the City reference are a pretty big manosphere tip off.