One of the odder folk beliefs of the pickup artist subculture is that women become worn down and used up and even a bit addled if they have sex with too many men. Men, by contrast, are said to be able to handle an equal number of female lovers with grace and aplomb.
In a recent post, our old friend Heartiste offers what he sees as decisive photographic evidence illustrating the different effects of promiscuity on men and women. One bit of this evidence: a picture of a young woman used to advertise some sort of singles event. Reflections from the photographer’s lights obscure her pupils, an offputting effect that gives her a slightly deranged look.
Heartiste, apparently not curious enough to wonder why the woman seems to have no pupils, sees this as clear photographic evidence of the tell-tale “thousand cock stare” that he believes women develop after exposure to more than the lifetime recommended allotment of penises.
To underscore his claim that promiscuous men are “more emotionally stable and contented” than their female counterparts, Heartiste offers this photographic evidence:
I think we can all see the problem here. Aside from the fact that a single photograph of someone smiling offers no real clue to that person’s relative stability or degree of happiness with their life – there are plenty of people who can put a good face on all sorts of troubles – this is not actually a picture of a promiscuous man.
It’s a picture of actor John Hamm playing the character of Don Draper, a promiscuous ad exec on Mad Men, in full costume and makeup and doing his best to act the part of a contented man.
As regular viewers of the show are well aware, Don Draper is not always so contented. Indeed, the character is a near-constant drinker with a troubled past who ruins two marriages through his compulsive womanizing.
Here are pictures of Don Draper in some less-happy moments.
Can we conclude therefore that excess promiscuity will turn smiling, confident men into puking emotional wrecks? Well, no, because, again, Draper is a CHARACTER, not a person. He’s NOT REAL.
But don’t try telling Heartiste that, because he seems to prefer to live in an imaginary world.
A man can sample the slits and furrows of outrageous fortune and survive the whirlwind of passion to mark a day in the future when he contentedly and without pathological second-guessing slips into a stabler, longer term commitment.
Women who have sampled a poo poo platter of penes accumulate emotional scars that never heal; promiscuous women have a mental storage closet filled with five minute montages of alpha male love, and these exciting, prurient memories rob the female id of something important. Call it purity or innocence or self-worth or ability to appreciate romantic idealism, the slut with ass chafing from riding the cock carousel is never the same as she was before she let herself get pummeled by dick.
Uh, just so you know, Heartiste, the Chinese menu item you evidently have in mind is actually called a Pu Pu Platter. A Poo Poo Platter is something, well, a bit different.
Then again, I suspect that most of those women who’ve “sampled” Heartiste’s alleged charms would have, in hindsight, rather spent the evening cleaning shit out of a toilet tank.
Did I just read that right? I mean, I’ve got some kind of sinus bug and a sinus headache that won’t quit and on antihistamines (“non-drowsy daytime formula” my ass), so my brain is a wee bit foggy – but did I just read that Heartiste took a random, poorly shot photo of a random woman and compare it to a still of an actor playing a role in a tv drama, and acted like that somehow proves his whole weird “sex ruins women” theory?
But…but…you can’t just do that! That would like me saying that telepathy and telekinesis is real and I have the clips from Star Wars to prove it!
And why in earth would he call pleasant memories of past lovers and sexy-times “emotional scars that never heal?” Good memories are good, right?
“Poo poo platter of penes” is pretty funny though.
One of the folks who has LBT’s email will be sure to send a message of support from us, I trust.
Does Heartiste hate himself? Oddly, I think he probably does. This doesn’t mean he doesn’t ALSO direct that hate outward at others, or that he should somehow be permitted to spew his toxic bullshit unchallenged. But the notion that he likely has an utterly horrifying self-image wouldn’t shock me if confirmed. (We’ve found plenty of evidence that Roosh despises himself, too, for that matter. That just means these wretches are sort-of-right about at least one thing–they’re disgusting pieces of shit, and they should feel bad about it. If only they’d come to understand why they are vile and beneath contempt, the healing might begin.)
You’d think if they were going to pick an actor to illustrate the “promiscuity actually works as an excellent beauty treatment, but only for men” argument they’d pick one who wasn’t well known to be happily married. Then again, they seem to think that Sex and the City was a documentary, so why not Mad Men too?
Oh, I’ve got another one!
Lolita is not a story with a male hero, sadly misunderstood for a perfectly harmless attraction.
What an ass.
And that’s all I got, folks. I don’t even know if I need to say anything else about this guy though, if prompted, I’m sure I can come up with many many more unflattering terms to call him.
Imo, someone hating themselves is sad, but how exactly is that some sort of license to malign and hurt other people?
@strivingally
Does that, does that actually need to be said? Holy spirits I hope it doesn’t, Lolita is pretty clear in it’s themes. And condemnation of Humbert Humbert, Nabokov was many things as a writer, subtle and indirect however he was not.
Same principle as the atomic bomb, if I remember correctly.
If he does hate himself then that’s something he should probably try to address in a more productive way that’s less harmful to others. I’m not his mom, nor is anyone else here, so it’s not our job to fix that for him.
He needs to deal with his own shit if he hates himself. Also, it’s not necessarily true that if someone hates themselves that they’re going to lash out and be pieces of shit to everyone around them. It’s complicated, but I can definitely relate to “hating oneself” but not resorting to racism, homophobia, misogyny or any sort of general assholery to redirect said hatred. I’m not saying I’m perfect, just saying that his own hatred for himself is his issue and it gives him NO excuse to take it out on others.
Oh, I just saw LBT’s post!
LBT, if you’re still lurking, sorry to hear your not doing good right now. Thank you for dropping by and letting us know that you’re not leaving for good. Hugs, contact or non-contact, if wanted.
And some kitties, too.
Tragically, there are indeed people who interpret Lolita as a romance.
Hi, LBT! I don’t know if you’ll be reading this thread, and I don’t think we’ve ever actually interacted directly before, but I hope you feel better soon.
The thing that really depresses me about guys like Heartiste and the whole domination view of sex…it’s not just a handful of misogynist weirdos, is it? The ideas that men “conquer” women when they have sex, that sex is something men do and women have to them – these are actually, as far as I can tell, the dominant views of sex in the US, and probably other cultures, although I don’t know as much about them.
Honestly, this is why I used to avoid romantic relationships altogether when I was younger, because I didn’t want to “give in” or “be used.” That was before I figured out that I had fallen for some toxic bullshit, and it actually is possible to have sex on your own terms without giving anything up. Thanks, feminism!
I completely missed the drahms so I have no idea what happened the other night. Since I’m kind of new to commenting, I probably didn’t notice it at first or failed to recognize it. I am curious, though.
“Then again, I suspect that most of those women who’ve “sampled” Heartiste’s alleged charms would have, in hindsight, rather spent the evening cleaning shit out of a toilet tank.” Well played, sir. Well played.
@zoon
Thanks! I didn’t mean to make you google that for me, though I am grateful. If I have to look at AVfM one more time this week I may need psychiatric help. I suspected they had a closer relationship then they like to let on.
Sorry for the blockquote fail.
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Best wishes to LBT.
Oh ho, and now long term commitment with women is good, as long as it can be used as a cudgel to beat on other women.
In order for that to happen there needs to be a woman who’s willing to have him and alas, in the case of Heartiste (and most PUAs), this is unlikely to be the case. Any woman foolish or unfortunate enough to shack up with him would probably bail as soon as she found his blog.
Most of that diatribe centers around women and long term relationships – that is, when commitment is being considered. Are there ‘studies’ or surveys regarding a woman’s sexual past and it being a cause for a man to reject her for a relationship? Why would that even be a topic? Its a big world. If a man has a preference for a particular trait then he is sure to find what he is looking for. Why would he waste his time writing about it?
Being in an LTR with Heartiste and finding his blog would be a total “the call is coming from inside the house!” moment. I’d leave cartoon skidmarks hauling ass out of there.
cassandrakitty – There is that, isn’t there? Who wants to go rolling in that stuff?
There’s also this: I interview people for jobs. In fact, like a LOT of women in IT, I tend to end up on average, on more interview panels than my male coworkers. Who try to dodge what’s seen as a boring and awful job.
You bet we Google our interviewees, the usernames and emails they use, the kind of spelling mistakes, word choices, phrasing, etc, they have.
Amongst the things we do NOT check for are:
* Have you ever been drunk in public
* Done something stupid but harmless when younger?
* Had a bad break up that you were annoyed about.
This is because, well, normal people do go through normal crappy things that make them react in a less than stellar fashion. It just happens.
But we DO check for:
* Have you ever posted stuff like Heartiste’s rant above? (insert your choice of minority)
* Have you ever proven that you’ve been someone we wouldn’t WANT to work with. Teams are social entities – they don’t work if there’s a member who isn’t functional because they act like a rabid animal.
* Can you respond in a respectful and polite manner to strangers?
* Have you ever ‘liked’ something like that rant above?
Because if you have, hahaha, no, we don’t hire you.
Also, when your job company asks us why you didn’t get it, we tell them – and in my experience, they can and will then drop you as a client. We have a reputation to protect, and so do they.
It’s probably all misandry, of course. Or anti-white social justice warriors. Or, or….
@ Steampunked…Thanks for telling me that.
*needs to make applying-for-work email*
*leftie in very right-wing part of country.*
If a thousand cocks once ruins you, what does one cock a thousand times do? Is the one true cock magical and only it has the power to be fun while also not rendering you pupil-less? So many questions.
I’ve never understood that part of the argument. If lots of sex ruins your ladybits then why does it matter whether the sex is with one person or multiple people?