One of the odder folk beliefs of the pickup artist subculture is that women become worn down and used up and even a bit addled if they have sex with too many men. Men, by contrast, are said to be able to handle an equal number of female lovers with grace and aplomb.
In a recent post, our old friend Heartiste offers what he sees as decisive photographic evidence illustrating the different effects of promiscuity on men and women. One bit of this evidence: a picture of a young woman used to advertise some sort of singles event. Reflections from the photographer’s lights obscure her pupils, an offputting effect that gives her a slightly deranged look.
Heartiste, apparently not curious enough to wonder why the woman seems to have no pupils, sees this as clear photographic evidence of the tell-tale “thousand cock stare” that he believes women develop after exposure to more than the lifetime recommended allotment of penises.
To underscore his claim that promiscuous men are “more emotionally stable and contented” than their female counterparts, Heartiste offers this photographic evidence:
I think we can all see the problem here. Aside from the fact that a single photograph of someone smiling offers no real clue to that person’s relative stability or degree of happiness with their life – there are plenty of people who can put a good face on all sorts of troubles – this is not actually a picture of a promiscuous man.
It’s a picture of actor John Hamm playing the character of Don Draper, a promiscuous ad exec on Mad Men, in full costume and makeup and doing his best to act the part of a contented man.
As regular viewers of the show are well aware, Don Draper is not always so contented. Indeed, the character is a near-constant drinker with a troubled past who ruins two marriages through his compulsive womanizing.
Here are pictures of Don Draper in some less-happy moments.
Can we conclude therefore that excess promiscuity will turn smiling, confident men into puking emotional wrecks? Well, no, because, again, Draper is a CHARACTER, not a person. He’s NOT REAL.
But don’t try telling Heartiste that, because he seems to prefer to live in an imaginary world.
A man can sample the slits and furrows of outrageous fortune and survive the whirlwind of passion to mark a day in the future when he contentedly and without pathological second-guessing slips into a stabler, longer term commitment.
Women who have sampled a poo poo platter of penes accumulate emotional scars that never heal; promiscuous women have a mental storage closet filled with five minute montages of alpha male love, and these exciting, prurient memories rob the female id of something important. Call it purity or innocence or self-worth or ability to appreciate romantic idealism, the slut with ass chafing from riding the cock carousel is never the same as she was before she let herself get pummeled by dick.
Uh, just so you know, Heartiste, the Chinese menu item you evidently have in mind is actually called a Pu Pu Platter. A Poo Poo Platter is something, well, a bit different.
Then again, I suspect that most of those women who’ve “sampled” Heartiste’s alleged charms would have, in hindsight, rather spent the evening cleaning shit out of a toilet tank.
True dat. My first time, I figured out why it was hurting, and it wasn’t him (he was quite average in size). So I quickly learned to relax my muscles and tip my pelvis up to meet him. Didn’t orgasm, wasn’t expecting to, but I did manage to get through it without any more unpleasant pinchy sensations. Also, no bleeding, so WIN!
Random poll for anyone who wants to participate – how many women here did bleed the first time they experienced PIV? I didn’t either, which urban legends say would be a result of doing lots of sport as a kid, but I’m not convinced that’s true. So I’m just curious roughly what the percentages are in terms of did/did not bleed.
I didn’t bleed, though there was one point when I was thirteen, and I randomly got a one-day period in the middle of my cycles. Looking back, it might’ve been a random, early hymen breakage.
I don’t remember any bleeding that couldn’t be explained as part of my cycle, but then that started at 9 so if it was earlier than that I may just not remember. If I had bled out of cycle due to hymen breakage after that I would remember, though, since I’ve always been regular as clockwork.
I’ve always been fairly regular as well, even before BC, so that one incident really stood out. No idea if that’s actually what it was though.
My not-bleeding may have been down to my using tampons since age 12, just a few months after menarche, when my periods got too heavy for pads alone. My mom was worried that I wasn’t “grown enough” to use Supers or Super Pluses, but I never had a moment’s trouble with either size. The applicators are maybe the thickness of a thumb, which is no problem at all. Also, my first manual pelvic exam was shortly before my 15th birthday, because I got hit by a car at 14 and suffered a broken pelvis. I was used to inserting things (or having things inserted) by the time I first had sex, so it wasn’t hard for me to find the self-awareness to make THAT insertion easier, too.
Also, it must’ve sucked getting it so early. Mine fortunately didn’t start until a month before I turned twelve.
Yep! Mostly just because of other kids my age.
I always felt really awkward having mine at school because the bathrooms didn’t have the little tin trashcans that they usually put inside the women’s stalls.
Anyway, one of my friends said that she bled a lot her first time, but her then-boyfriend also changed the position ten times in ten minutes, which apparently made it really hard for her to adjust. Then again, the fact that my first guy had a penis that was so bent that it pretty much looked like a “J” and the fact that he didn’t understand that he wasn’t trying to tenderize meat didn’t make me bleed, so I dunno.
I didn’t but it hurt a lot.
Maybe TMI: I didn’t bleed my first time having PIV (still hurt like hell, though, till he started moving). But that was after my hymen(s) had been broken, which was done right as I was getting my abortion. That, too, hurt like hell, and there was definitely blood afterward, but I couldn’t tell you how much, if any, was from the broken hymens. I suspect I would have bled if I’d ever been able to allow to penetration, but the attempts hurt so badly that I could just never get there. I guess, like most of these type experiences, it just depends on the person.
I bled a little bit but not much. I’m not sure why my hymen didn’t break on its own. I was an avid biker who could do the splits. I couldn’t wear a tampon until after I lost my virginity which wasn’t until I was 18.
I didn’t bleed, either. I was surprised when we finished up and I prepared for a massive biohazard type clean-up only to find… no blood. And I remember being tender afterwards, but the act itself wasn’t painful.
Guess I got pretty lucky all around. 🙂
I didn’t have any pain either.
Barnburner is a lot like annoying animals who wander around, find a lawn to poop on, and then walk away to leave it there. He comes in, drops a turd of a statement, and wanders off because, hey, ball’s in our court now. I don’t wanna clean up your poop, barnburner.
InsanityBytes 22 keeps doing the same thing. Once everyone starts throwing questions her way that she doesn’t want to answer, she skips off to her blog and waits for another thread.
TMI, but, I bled copiously my first time, as in, I had to put a pad in my underwear & the stain on the bedding looked like a small animal had been murdered there. And then my hymen partially healed, so I bled again the second time too. Ugh.
Alais, too true. Or she’ll complain about how wrong and mean we are on her own blog without having answered or addressed anything we mentioned. Then come back and poop again.
Puddleglum, how horrible. That sounds like some kind of a twisted curse.
Non-PiV experiencer here, but going from how unbelievably painful my one pap smear was – so much so I stopped that godawful doctor finishing it – I would anticipate it to hurt, though I know Mr K would do his best to help avoid that! (And it wouldn’t be anyone else every by choice.)
Hey I’m a mod again. FEAR THE MODS!
Haven’t done PIV, or anything, so I can’t really add anything here.
Other than, you know, someone boasting that they’re going to leave me raw is such spectacular motivation that I just can hardly wait to have sex with them.
:: sarcasm x 10,000,000,000 ::
ALL HAIL THE MODS!!!
And Bootsy. Of course.
Yikes, Puddleglum. That really does sound like some sort of curse where your parents pissed off one of the fairies at your christening and so now there will be Consequences.
ALL HAIL BOOTSY
Self-described “slut” here. PiV is *supposed* to feel good. There are certain pelvic issues that some women have that can make sex very painful. And I completely understand why they would not want that. On the other hand, there are also idiots out there who have no idea what they’re doing and they don’t care. That can cause a lot of pain. I should know. It’s happened to me before. Sorry for the PiV TMI but I do have experience with painful sex that was the fault of the idiotic duder.
Gratz kittehs 🙂
I couldn’t wear a tampon for about 6 years after I got PIV active. Also, felt scraped each time during those 6 years. Spent a long time wondering why any woman though PIV sex was for them.