One of the odder folk beliefs of the pickup artist subculture is that women become worn down and used up and even a bit addled if they have sex with too many men. Men, by contrast, are said to be able to handle an equal number of female lovers with grace and aplomb.
In a recent post, our old friend Heartiste offers what he sees as decisive photographic evidence illustrating the different effects of promiscuity on men and women. One bit of this evidence: a picture of a young woman used to advertise some sort of singles event. Reflections from the photographer’s lights obscure her pupils, an offputting effect that gives her a slightly deranged look.
Heartiste, apparently not curious enough to wonder why the woman seems to have no pupils, sees this as clear photographic evidence of the tell-tale “thousand cock stare” that he believes women develop after exposure to more than the lifetime recommended allotment of penises.
To underscore his claim that promiscuous men are “more emotionally stable and contented” than their female counterparts, Heartiste offers this photographic evidence:
I think we can all see the problem here. Aside from the fact that a single photograph of someone smiling offers no real clue to that person’s relative stability or degree of happiness with their life – there are plenty of people who can put a good face on all sorts of troubles – this is not actually a picture of a promiscuous man.
It’s a picture of actor John Hamm playing the character of Don Draper, a promiscuous ad exec on Mad Men, in full costume and makeup and doing his best to act the part of a contented man.
As regular viewers of the show are well aware, Don Draper is not always so contented. Indeed, the character is a near-constant drinker with a troubled past who ruins two marriages through his compulsive womanizing.
Here are pictures of Don Draper in some less-happy moments.
Can we conclude therefore that excess promiscuity will turn smiling, confident men into puking emotional wrecks? Well, no, because, again, Draper is a CHARACTER, not a person. He’s NOT REAL.
But don’t try telling Heartiste that, because he seems to prefer to live in an imaginary world.
A man can sample the slits and furrows of outrageous fortune and survive the whirlwind of passion to mark a day in the future when he contentedly and without pathological second-guessing slips into a stabler, longer term commitment.
Women who have sampled a poo poo platter of penes accumulate emotional scars that never heal; promiscuous women have a mental storage closet filled with five minute montages of alpha male love, and these exciting, prurient memories rob the female id of something important. Call it purity or innocence or self-worth or ability to appreciate romantic idealism, the slut with ass chafing from riding the cock carousel is never the same as she was before she let herself get pummeled by dick.
Uh, just so you know, Heartiste, the Chinese menu item you evidently have in mind is actually called a Pu Pu Platter. A Poo Poo Platter is something, well, a bit different.
Then again, I suspect that most of those women who’ve “sampled” Heartiste’s alleged charms would have, in hindsight, rather spent the evening cleaning shit out of a toilet tank.
Not only is Don not a real person, the show makes it pretty clear he’s not even remotely a good person. Even the most cursory examination of the show’s themes and story show that its about how shitty he is.
I love how he always uses passive language when he talks about women having sex. So transparent. Men fuck, women get fucked. /eye roll
“poo poo platter of penes”
Suck a bag of dicks, Heartiste.
Don’t you mean her pupils, not her irises?
LOLOLOL. What is a poo poo platter anyway?
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_uJN9MVeaWjs/TOldvFHtfXI/AAAAAAAABWo/3EQaNlUid3w/s1600/bd%2B%25287%2529.JPG
Like this, but with penises.
Oops, I did mean pupils.
Is anyone really sure that Heartiste isn’t in fact just a posturing virgin? I’m just looking at the blog and the logical deduction is -frustrated virgin who’s afraid girls will laugh at his pee-pee. I kinda view his particular expression of misogyny as entertaining in a “short bus special” and “do you have a helmet for daily use” way…
Um, John Hamm has been in a monogamous (as far as I know( relationship with Jennifer Westfeldt for many, many years. Since Mad Men isn’t a porn, he isn’t actually having sex with the actresses on the show. Therfore he wouldn’t have a thousand vagina stare or whatever. Not that that’s a real thing but he could have least tried to come up with a better example.
Wait, is he comparing a “thousand cock stare” to the look of someone with *twenty* lovers? HOW MANY COCKS DO MEN HAVE IN YOUR WORLD?
There’s a thing in anime where a persons eyes are drawn with filled in pupils. It’s used to show someone is possessed, someone who’s “snapped,” or is otherwise not fully present. The pupils come back when they wake up or the possession goes away.
Apparently Heartiste thinks this is real life.
“five minute montages of alpha male love”
One would hope for longer than 5 minutes.
Am dying over “poo poo platter.”
Heartiste really needs to believe this. Probably because any woman who’s not a virgin would laugh him out of bed.
Again, it’s so fucking dumb that they get so upset over women having any sort of sex at all and yet feel the need to constantly have sex with…women. They can’t decide which is worse: “whores” or “prudes denying them sex.” I suppose it all boils down to: Women who have sex with other men = evil and Women who have sex with me= not as evil.
@Adi Doyle: Is Heartiste the one who’s an admitted rapist, or is that the other gross PUA guy with a blog? I can’t tell them apart.
Now I’m imagining what would happen if you showed Heartiste porn. Bear with me…
“What is this man doing?”
“He is simply sampling the slits and furrows of outrageous fortune, surviving the whirlwind of passion to mark a day in the future when he contentedly and without pathological second-guessing slip into a stabler, longer term commitment.”
“And what is this woman doing?”
“Oh, she. She is tasting a poo poo platter of penes, accumulating emotional scars that never heal. She is a promiscuous woman that is filling her mental storage closet with five minute montages of alpha male love, and these exciting, prurient memories will rob her female id of something important.”
“Oookay, then… Um, how would you describe the actual act that the male is performing here?”
“Delighting in the moment, sharing pleasure with another in intimate embrace. He is experiencing a love that will remain a dear memory in his heart long after this romantic encounter. Of course, he will have passion enough for his beloved partner as well.”
“And how would you describe the act that this female is performing here?”
“She’s getting pummeled by dick.”
“You know these are all the same video, right?”
This guy sure fantasizes alot about women being harmed by sex with men, doesn’t he? Seems to be a theme with these jealous jerks.
He’s absolutely obsessed with this myth that fucking isn’t as fun for women as it is for men. He’s still pretending that lesbian and bi women don’t exist too. He really, truly hates and resents women who have happy, healthy sex lives with a variety of partners of their choice. He’s so bitter. As for him sampling the furrows…*projectile vomit* I think that’s as much a fantasy as anything else he claims. He’s like a kid covering his eyes so the monster under the bed can’t see him. If he just pretends hard enough, I guess he thinks women will stop having sex with lovers he can’t hold a candle to and will never be. He fertilizes his sour grapes with the shit that he uses for brains. I really do hope he’s a miserable as he seems. He doesn’t deserve better.
Blockquote failing, however, is fine.
If it’s true that women are ruined by sex with men, why in god’s good name is he running a fucking business out of getting men to have sex with women? He’s knowingly (according to his internal logic) harming people. He should be preaching abstinence from the rooftops!
By his own logic, he’s a despicable monster.
It’s never too early for kitties!
http://lovemeow.com/2012/07/rescue-feral-ginger-kittens-get-new-surrogate-mom/
Don’t be silly, women aren’t people.
This is very similar to the Neocon obsession with proving that “Torture works!” by referring to Jack Bauer on 24 as documentary evidence.
kirbywarps,
First, you nailed it with the porn commentary.
Second, he hates women. That’s why he dreams of hurting them with the very thing he wants from them. I’d wager his hatred and desire get all mixed up in his garbage bin of a head and these rationalizations are the result. Dude has issues.
While were at it, Walter White was not the hero of Breaking Bad, and the show was not about how a righteous alpha dude is held back those around him.