I don’t usually bother to read the comments on Chateau Heartiste; making it through Heartiste’s own florid yet turgid prose is exhausting enough. But after skimming a recent post of his on the increasing historical fatness of British women, I happened to glance down at the comments, only to see a discussion of the comparative anatomy of female humans and deer that was so odd and creepy I felt obligated to bring it to you all.
Brace yourself, because the following might just ruin your breakfast:
Ewwwwww.
I’m pretty sure that guy’s hunting license should be taken away from him. And if there were sex licenses for human beings, well, all three of these guys should lose those as well.
WWTH, give me 10 years (5 if we go by Doosh) and I can join you in Old Person Bonersadz land.
I’m looking forward to it.
WWTH- 32, here. My existence makes them sad because I didn’t have the courtesy to shutter myself away somewhere because I outlived my “usefulness.” I’m over the hill. Hahaha
redpoppy, I used to get bad bronchitis and asthma attacks when I was little – young enough I don’t remember it. It’s eased over the years, but I could never run at school, I just couldn’t breathe. Think any damn phys. ed. teachers would take any notice of that, though? No, of course not.
I’ve never enjoyed exercise of any sort except walking, and I hated school sports. I couldn’t run these days even if the asthma wasn’t around, because it’d cause even more damage to the cartilage fissure in my knee – I’m on a walking stick these days. But it’s a stick with kitties all over it, so it’s a net gain. 😀
Oh, no Greg! Run for your life! SPINSTERS! SPINSTERS EVERYWHERE!
kitteh- I no longer get the asthma attacks either, but my allergies will act up and when they do I wheeze terribly. I also hated PE in school. I hated all school sports and preferred to do my own thing away from the other kids. I liked swimming, tennis and tai chi. But no running! lol I had a horrendous PE teacher in middle school who was basically like an asshole drill sergeant. He did not care that I was asthmatic and would seethe when I had a doctor’s note. Yeah. I LOVE having my asthma, you prick.
Probably like my toaster, which burns one side and undercooks the other and then sets the smoke alarm off.
Adding to the fun of being tooooo ooooolllld and giving misogynists sad boners is being happy while doing so! Like, actually visibly enjoying stuff!
Serious question for Mammotheers:
Since we’ve already established we are also blood sucking locusts, when I pupate between the ages of 25-30 and metamorphose into a spinster myself, will I gain magic knitting powers to go along with my powerful PUA repelling old age?
I’ve been working on this scarf for two years, and it’s still not done.
@marinerachel,
That is very true. The comments in the article above (and it goes on ) are pretty telling, are they not? Not a question was posed to the males if they happened to be overweight. It’s a non-issue.
redpoppy, sounds like my PE teacher, despite the sex difference. Just a pathetic bully, not someone who was enthusiastic about sport/exercise and wanted to encourage kids to get interested, oh no. I swear half the school bullies must go on to be PE teachers.
contrapangloss, I actually do not know how to knit but I would love to learn because knitted stuff makes me happy. However, I have perfected my witch’s cackle and wheezy old lady laugh. All I need now is Bridge night!
@ contrapangloss
Unfortunately the knitting gene is only expressed in a small percentage of fully metamorphosed spinsters. The good news is that many of us retain our previous interest in booze and loud music.
contrapangloss, yes, you will.
It is a little-known fact that all the knitters among the Mammotheers are in fact giant blood-sucking cat moths. (Not locusts, all that springing around on back legs is too tiring.)
@redpoppy,
P.E teachers tend to be pricks. You shouldn’t be running if you have Asthma. I still fill out notes for Asthmatic children so that they can be excused from strenuous physical activities. In 2014 is Asthma really an “unknown” condition? Lol. Unbelievable.
I’m a week post-surgery and I thought I was doing really well in terms of walking/moving around. Then I decided to walk to the far end of the doctor’s office parking lot. I was literally out of breath by the time I got to the car. Learned a limit, but that was really disheartening. Everything else looks good, though the incisions itch like crazy.
As for the deer story… Bullshit or no, it’s seriously disgusting.
Greg- They are pretty terrible. I never enjoyed it. It probably contributed to my overall fear of exercise and how picky I am with it. I try to get by though with what I’ve got lung wise. lol
@KathleenB,
I admire your enthusiasm… but after surgery you should rest for three to five weeks. 🙂
Oh, I just realized that I am now completely and utterly without value to MRAs! Not only am I fat and feminist, I no longer possess reproductive organs of any kind! My SMV is probably in the negative millions!
We actively seek SMVs that are super low. I dunno why, but I find it kind of awesome. However, I really can’t think of too many women who would even FIND that SMV test useful or good in any way.
@redpoppy,
It probably did. Cruelty never inspires a person. Asthma is a serious, serious condition. As I said, I’m amazed that teachers STILL need notes to excuse a student with Asthma.
Greg- I finally get proper medical insurance in September so I feel then I can finally get the help I need for a lot of things. My lipids panel wasn’t looking too swell and I need to do something about it.
Thanks for the input, Greg, but I’m gonna go with my doctor’s advice – walk as much as possible. I overestimated my endurance, no harm done.
ps – even medical professionals don’t offer post surgery advice unless they know what kind of surgery was performed. so butt out.
@Anyone,
Before I leave what is an SMV? I have an inkling that it’s not the superior mesenteric vein…
Greg, are you an MD who has physically evaluated the folks on this thread?
If no, I’d really like if you’d desist with the armchair MDing. While some of your general points aren’t completely off base, there’s a heck of a lot of variation between individuals.
Everyone else, if I’m way off base or policing here, let me know and I’ll back off.
I’ve lost somewhere in the range of 40lbs in the last 2 years. I’ve gone from about 200lbs (I’m not sure exactly, I stopped weighing myself when I got over 190) and I’m now hovering around 160 (some days a pound or two heavier, some days a pound or two lighter). What did I change about my diet and exercise? Not much, I still eat the same foods and if anything I might be consuming more calories not less and while I have started weight training it’s only been in the last few months. What did change? I switched my birth control from one that frequently causes weight gain due to metabolism changes to one that causes weight gain both less frequently and to a lesser extent. Many, many medications, not just birth control, have weight gain as a side effect. Now often weight gain is an acceptable trade off compared to going without treatment for a medical condition so I’m not saying people should stop taking their medications or that this is a major cause of people getting heavier but it is one of them.
tl;dr Weight and metabolism are complicated and affected by much more than just diet and exercise.
Greg: SMV = “Sexual Market Value”
It’s a silly thing MRA’s PUAs and Friends pulled out of their behinds.