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D'oh! A deer, a female deer

I don't even ... what?
I don’t even … what?

I don’t usually bother to read the comments on Chateau Heartiste; making it through Heartiste’s own florid yet turgid prose is exhausting enough. But after skimming a recent post of his on the increasing historical fatness of British women, I happened to glance down at the comments, only to see a discussion of the comparative anatomy of female humans and deer that was so odd and creepy I felt obligated to bring it to you all.

Brace yourself, because the following might just ruin your breakfast:

 

FuriousFerret  Well at least tits are bigger now. That’s one silver lining.      on August 26, 2014 at 12:12 pm | Reply CH      not even. big tits on fat women aren’t attractive. they hang like deerskin fur canteen bladders and are about as flat.          on August 26, 2014 at 12:20 pm prevailtolegend          One time I was skinning a doe deer in the field and when cutting out the rectum and thus the entrails, my finger accidentally slipped into the vagina. I sell home consumer goods and there are women I encounter every day, spending their husbands money, that are so large they would have me less aroused.

Ewwwwww.

I’m pretty sure that guy’s hunting license should be taken away from him. And if there were sex licenses for human beings, well, all three of these guys should lose those as well.

 

 

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redpoppy
redpoppy
10 years ago

contrapangloss, I’m really good at swimming and I love it. Low impact exercises have always been my jam. I also really enjoy Tai Chi. 🙂

Kim
Kim
10 years ago

@MCJ
I was picturing something more like Vegas.

Greg
Greg
10 years ago

@contrapangloss,

The idea of “isolation” in terms of muscle/weight loss is a complete myth. Your body determines where it “loses” fat from. You could go a week isolating the abdominal muscles only to realize that more weight has appeared on your abdomen with a reduction of fat under the chin (cortisol plays a major role in this anti-starvation measure).

One has to just keep going, keep moving.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

Again, Greg, all this may be very interesting to someone, but clearly that someone is not currently involved in this conversation. So, again – do you have something to do with the actual topic of the blog that you would like to contribute?

weirwoodtreehugger
10 years ago

Greg,
Nobody is saying that healthy food and exercise aren’t good. What we are saying (and the research agrees) is that simple thermodynamics are not adequate. There are many, many other factors. If there weren’t it should be super easy to lose weight by taking the stairs or cutting back on soda and juice. But that isn’t the case. At all. I think we’ve all also known skinny people who eat whatever they want and don’t work out.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

I mean, you get that by focusing on trying to teach people how to lose weight in a thread that’s about a man who hates fat women who decided to grope a dead deer’s vagina and tell the internet about it you’re being kind of a jerk, right? The existence of fat people is not really the point in this particular conversation.

contrapangloss
10 years ago

And… Greg missed my point.

He’s partially right. Isolation doesn’t quite work. BUT your body tends not to metabolize fat as quickly as it builds muscle when an exercise regime is started, because of metabolism shenanigans.

Start running? Works the leg muscles and core quite well, and eventually might lead to weight loss, maybe. But, the first bit would be really, really discouraging to someone who started just to lose weight, because most people will gain some.

It’s complicated.

Calories in calories out is a dramatic oversimplification, regardless, that fails to take into account the difficulty of accurately measuring or estimating calories out. Well, unless you want to live in a calorimeter, but that could go really really badly.

Especially since it’s a closed system that measures caloric use by figuring out how much oxygen you’ve used up…

contrapangloss
10 years ago

And taking off physiology hat, and putting back on the mocking cap!

Is anyone else really glad when they find out they’re not boner pleasing to one of these dudes?

I was able to shower in 4 minutes, thanks to my short hair! It was wonderful. Hacking off 12 inches was the best decision I’ve made in a while.

marinerachel
marinerachel
10 years ago

As much as you’re right, Greg – exercise and proper nutrition contribute to good health – this isn’t the place to preach healthy lifestyle. This is a place to mock the guy in the OP.

Greg
Greg
10 years ago

@weirwoodtreehugger,

I need to look over your link before I make any comments. 🙂 It’s an interesting hypothesis, let’s see.

kittehserf
10 years ago

Exercise is a difficult thing for asthmatics. I’m always wary of it because it hurts and I have a lot of bad memories from my childhood from being really bad at sports. Humans are very cruel and unkind.

::fistbump:: Same here. I fucking hate running, always have.

redpoppy
redpoppy
10 years ago

I got a haircut in July. And I like having shorter hair. It keeps me cool when it’s hot and is more manageable. I also think shoulder length or a bit shorter is really cute. I also like the A-line cut.

weirwoodtreehugger
10 years ago

I’m just waiting for somebody to wander over from Jezebel to talk about lentils. Hopefully typing the word doesn’t summon them.

redpoppy
redpoppy
10 years ago

kittehserf- yay! fellow asthmatic. Running is so so so hard for me. I can walk, swim, weight train and do HIIT exercises alright but I just can’t run. The lungs. They can’t take it! I was sick a lot as a kid and got terrible colds in the winter that would turn into nasty things like asthma attacks and pneumonia. 🙁 I hated it.

Greg
Greg
10 years ago

@marinerachel

I believe that I already have. This particular MRA has basically claimed that obesity is a ‘female’s only club’ when it is nothing of the sort. Males are just as over-weight as are their female counterparts.

kittehserf
10 years ago

Is anyone else really glad when they find out they’re not boner pleasing to one of these dudes?

Always! The sadder their boners, the better.

weirwoodtreehugger
10 years ago

I’ve always hated running too. I love swimming, biking and walking but I’ve always been terrible and running and have always loathed it.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

I’m sure that Greg has something to say about lentils too, but Greg? I no cur.

redpoppy
redpoppy
10 years ago

Fortunately, there’s more than one way to exercise!

I also very much like it when they have bonersadz. I find it endlessly amusing when they clutch their pearls because any woman anywhere dared to do what SHE wanted to do with her life/body. Cry more. I love it.

blahlistic (@blahlistic)

@ redpoppy… Been there and done that, had a PE teacher and the entire class laugh at me prior to falling over.
I am now on so many meds it isn’t funny, but I can run…slowly… If my feet will permit.
Bicycling I like better, though. Working out improves my lung capacity over time. But I can’t increase activity like a person with normal lungs…I’m pretty sure it takes a lot longer.

Also, losing weight is fucking miserable.

blahlistic (@blahlistic)

And why are we talking about weight again?

weirwoodtreehugger
10 years ago

A nice thing about being in my 30s is that I don’t even have to do anything to make misogynist boners sad. All I have to is exist while not young. It’s so easy!

redpoppy
redpoppy
10 years ago

I’m in the same camp as you blahlistic. Weight loss is a very slow process as I cannot rush my exercising and I must take it at my pace and be mindful of my lungs. I do know that once I do it more often, it will help my asthma I just can’t do it at a more “normal” pace. I try to balance out food/exercise in a manner that is right for me as this sort of thing is different for everyone. Because I mentioned vegetable korma, I’m craving it so bad right now. I love Indian food.

marinerachel
marinerachel
10 years ago

I think the major difference between fat men and fat women is simply how socially disadvantageous it is. It disadvantages both but it does so proportionately to women. Yeah, fat men exist. Lots of them! And they’re judged for being fat. The degree to which they suffer as a result of being fat though is outweighed to a large extent by the degree to which fat women suffer socially for being fat. It’s pretty extensively studied.

It’s not that fat men don’t exist. It’s just that being a fat man is a lot more socially appropriate than being a fat woman.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

@ blahtastic

Because Greg has the social skills of a toaster.

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