If the Men’s Rights movement is looking for a celebrity endorser, I think I’ve found just the guy for them: the mixed martial arts fighter, and erstwhile porn actor, War Machine, currently sitting in jail on charges of brutally beating and attempting to kill his ex-girlfriend, porn star Christy Mack.
Men’s Rights activists should be able to look past these criminal charges; after all, as they remind us all the time, women are forever falsely accusing innocent men of all sorts of terrible things.
And in so many ways War Machine is perfect for them. An MMA fighter, he’s already only one letter away from being an MRA. A misogynistic asshole with rage issues, he’ll have no trouble fitting in with the Men’s Rights crowd. And, especialy important for a movement that has a lot of trouble getting any good PR, he’s a bit more comfortable on camera than the Paul Elams and Dean Esmays of the world, with experience on television (on the reality show The Ultimate Fighter: Team Hughes vs. Team Serra), and in seven films (albeit pornographic ones).
Best of all: he’ll need no ideological education from what A Voice for Men likes to call Fuck Shit Up University. War Machine – real name Jonathan Koppenhaver – is already an outspoken proponent of many of the Men’s Rights Movement’s core beliefs.
Consider these selections from a little Men’s Rights manifesto War Machine wrote a few years ago during a previous stint behind bars, serving time for felony assault after two bloody bar fights. His rant, which a friend posted to the internet, would fit right in with the sort of stuff we’ve seen regularly posted on the Men’s Rights subreddit, or The Spearhead, or A Voice for Men. I’ve bolded some of the Men’s Rightsiest bits:
The oppression of MEN is worse than oppression of Jews in Nazi germany, worse than the slavery of Blacks in early America…
There has always been the oppressor and always the oppressed. Before, it was blatant … NOW the oppressor has learned to disguise his evil. You can see man, but you can not see MEN. How easy it is to oppress a minority that is invisible to the eye! How genius of the oppressor! And what a better target too! …
Men challenge injustice from Government, MEN fight for their Constitutional rights, that are slowly being taken away every year. …
And they don’t just oppress us by making more laws and taking away more freedom, they are far more clever than that! Ask yourself what your REAL dream was?? If you gave up on this dream, why? Because of the brainwashing of the Government, that’s why! They taught you to “play it safe.” They told us a responsible man has ONE wife, a house, good credit, good job, and kids. How are you supposed to chase your dreams while maintaining all of that!?
Men are supposed to take risks and be aggressive! What accomplishments have ever come of a man scared to risk it all!? None!? Where would the world be? Still ‘flat!’ Still ‘Earth at the center of the universe!’
If any of you have your Men’s Rights Bingo cards out, I’m guessing you might already be close to scoring a bingo. We’ve got a comparison to slavery that could have come straight from the pages of A Voice for Men, a marriage-is-death-to-male-dreams rant that could have been borrowed from any MGTOW forum, and an evo-psych-esque argument that men are the true risk-takers and the world’s real innovators.
And I don’t think War Machine would have much trouble with Paul Elam’s “Bash a Violent Bitch Month,” either.
[I]t’s Christmas day and I’m laying in my bunk wondering “Why in the hell do American men get married!?” … If your wife is being a bitch you can’t slap her, if your wife is yelling at you, God forbid you yell back … Next thing you know it will be illegal to fuck your wife! LMAO! Maybe then, MEN in this country will get the fucking hint and MOVE! This country forces you to be a bitch!
In another online posting, War Machine touched on another Men’s Rights hobbyhorse, the notion that the justice system is stacked against men:
[L]ook at the prisons, they are FULL of MEN, not women. Are men “evil” and women not? Or do the laws target and attempt to restrict NATURAL MEN’S BEHAVIOR? How many of the HEROES in American history would avoid prison if they lived today? Davey Crockett? Thomas Jefferson? David Bowie? General Grant & General Lee? Shit, George Washington. … Laws target MEN and men’s behavior. Women want to bitch and cry about their rights and equality… LMAO! MEN are the ones locked away like animals, while women run free!
Someone might have to explain to War Machine that David Bowie is not actually a famous American HERO but a famously androgynous British musician who once recorded an album called “Heroes.” (Mr. Machine may be thinking of James Bowie, a well-known 19th century American frontiersman and slave trader, and the guy the Bowie Knife is named after.)
But other than that, he seems ready to go.
There is, of course, that whole attempted murder charge to deal with.
It’s true the Men’s Rights Movement has had few problems in the past rallying behind men with histories of violence. But War Machine might be a harder sell as a Men’s Rights hero. His alleged attack on Mack left her with a cracked rib, a ruptured liver, numerous broken bones, missing teeth and her eyes swollen shut. (See here for photos of her injuries; obviously this link is NSFW and could be triggering.)
While Mr. Machine denies attacking Mack, he joked to a TV host last year that if she were to leave him “I would just kill her” and get a tattoo saying “Rest In Peace” above the tattoo of her name he has on his neck.
And several hours after allegedly trying to murder her, War Machine tweeted this lovely message about his ex:
https://twitter.com/WarMachine170/statuses/497663075831787521
War Machine does seem to be at a low point in his life. Even aside from the charges he faces, and the time he seems likely to serve, his career in porn is almost certainly over. The “Alpha Male” clothing line he helped start wants nothing to do with him. Nobody but the prison system seems to want this guy.
In other words: Men’s Rights activists, this is your chance! War Machine may not be the, er, hero you want. But he’s certainly the hero you deserve.
Wow, total fail. That was in response to contrapangloss at 7:30~ blog time. No fucking clue wtf happened, time to catch up though clearly.
Damn, I’ve been in the US too long, I can’t mentally translate C to Farenheit any more at all.
Um, how did Cassandra weaponize anything, though? She pointed out something she found problematic, and when she wasn’t being understood, she finally revealed why she felt so strongly about the issue. Because I thought lived experience was important here? Seriously, this blog is the first place I’ve ever been where I was allowed to share my lived experience have it taken seriously rather than assuming it made me biased. That’s why I’ve come to love this place, and I’m really not okay with you accusing Cassandra of using her experience to weaponize anything.
@coffee, thanks, this conversation topic is not one I have encountered IRL so I have had to rely on people expressing themselves precisely for me to accurately draw meaning.
Thank you for your comment above, that has helped. I still have one question. When you say:
assuming that the use of a different term will not change people’s preferences, but merely signify the subset of lesbians sexually attracted to trans women, how will the issue of exclusion be resolved? Will it allow the formation of new social groups based more precisely on genital preferences and that in itself reduces exclusion?
It’s just that I view exclusion as wider than sex. For example, women being excluded from tech jobs due to ingrained sexism. And that is where I am getting really confused, because you seem to be using words that I use to have wider meaning, in narrow definitions.
Should’ve refreshed.
@Argenti,
Yay! Axolotls! 😀
@hellkell cassandrakitty’s account, IIRC, was that her trans-positive friends were guilted into sex with their trans friend on the basis that refusing sex made them poor allies. The success of that tactic would imply that they were concerned about their status as allies, and that was exploited. An indignation, one that rightfully warrants anger, but that anger should not be directed at transfolk unrelated to that crime by knowingly crossing lines with questions like “I wonder if this can all be blamed on their male socialization.”
We’re a community that watches those tactics like birds of prey. We identify them all the time in the manosphere.
I understand that cassandra has a lot of support around here, but that no one else caught that particular snippet pissed me off a lot more than all this TERFdom (hue) and “we can’t use male/female” accusations. I’m sure we can all tell the difference between a genuine sociological query and a rhetorical question designed to hurt, and considering I came here to learn, I found the remark incredibly insincere. To put it lightly.
@cofee
I have no problem with women, trans or otherwise, who date women calling themselves lesbians. There are self-proclaimed lesbian police acting like trans women calling themselves lesbians is false advertising, a farce or some other imaginary offense. They are wrong and are being assholes. People say stupid hurtful shit and I’m sorry for that.
For a non trans related example, there are people, yes often on Tumblr, who say a relationship between two women can’t be considered a lesbian relationship if one or both are bisexual. I have to say I was stunned by that, you have to sort of both wildly overthink this while not thinking at all to come up with that.
I personally don’t go by some variation of the Animal Farm slogan, “vagina good, penis bad”. I’m very attracted to androgynous and butch women but don’t date trans men. I don’t date men. Trans men who have top surgery, take hormones to develop male secondary sexual characteristics and live as men are, to me, in fact men. It’s not like I’m open to having a go with every person with a vagina.
That said, I’m personally sexually incompatible with anyone with a penis. I just am. Sexual incompatibility is a thing. I can think a person is visually attractive, sexy or just plain like the cut of their jib, but that doesn’t mean I want to get naked with them and have sexy times.
She can be considered attractive and a lesbian before and after I learn she doesn’t possess a vagina, I just don’t want to have sex with her if she doesn’t have a vagina. I like to point out that I personally have been rejected by lesbians plenty of times, it sucks but that’s life.
And backing the others, @coffee there appears to be some ad hominem attacks going on against @cassandra. I’m uncomfortable with that, given how sensitive this area is, using emotional language for more effect is probably Not A Good Idea.
My big issue with this UR A TRANSMISOGYNIST YO notion is I’m straight and if a dude I would otherwise like to be intimate with didnt have a penis I might no longer be interested. I’m not even talking about the dude having a vulva. If he had anything for genitals other than the usual male package I might no longer be interested in having sex with him. It’s not that I have an aversion to whatever he has got. It’s that I’m into dick and in order for me to be attracted to a man he’s got to have one.
So it may not so much be socialisation associating dicks with maleness re: women who don’t want to fuck trans women. It may just be people for whom female genitals are absolutely necessary for attraction.
OK, when we’ve reached making shit up o’clock it really is time for me to bow out.
Also I’m not the only one finding this rapid swinging back and forth between “no stay we’re totally getting to the point of resolution” and “disingenuous weaponizing $%#$%$#%”, really weird, right?
No you’re not the only one. :/
Not all transfolk are like that?
Well, no. Not all transfolk are like that. Apparently, just the ones with penises. Oddly similar to the cisfolk who are like that.
What cassandra was alluding to was that little boys, with rare exceptions, are socialized to grow into men who feel entitled to being sexually catered to. Would it really be so surprising that this bit of insidious socialization stuck, even if the gender identity didn’t?
There are so many comments being posted to this page at once. I just noticed cassandrakitty clarifying that the socialization question was a response to something Ally said. If that’s the case, I have misinterpreted the situation, and can pipe the fuck down on that topic. Confirmation from cassandra would be appreciated.
@pallygirl You raise good questions. Right now, “I don’t know.” I will think on it.
Someone else, lost the post now, said they were bisexual and couldn’t conceive of separating attraction-by-gender and attraction-by-sex. That was actually a neat comment to read, and gave me a different perspective to understand bisexuality. I’m hoping they expand on that, if they can, because that might indicate weaknesses in the interpretation.
Seconded. I find the conversation as confusing as hell without the ad hominems added into the mix.
Also, I’m really happy to see cassandra and hellkell and marinerachel back. I hope you stick around. And I’m really, really sad to see LBT leave.
No, it’s weird.
Well, I’m glad we’re allowed to be angry at that, thanks.
Going to reiterate that socialization was brought up because we’ve been told that no such thing exists. One the one hand, you’re coming into some old, repressed shit right now, on the other, you’re verging towards the disingenuous.
Okay, now here I might be really stepping on the landmine, but here goes.
I suspect that you are correct, that the problem here is indeed one of terminology. We certainly seem to lack precise terms to adequately represent the complexity of this situation, as you explicitly acknowledge. And yet, in the very next paragraph of your post, you return to the insistence that, in order to be considered trans-positive (and to avoid being labeled a TERF, with all the implications that carries) it is absolutely required that trans lesbianism be considered as perfectly congruent with cis lesbianism. Anything less is to stigmatize trans lesbians as somehow not “real”.
Look, I get that trans folk are suffering not only from externalized oppression but from the psychological ramifications of that external pressure as well as the stress of existing in a form that feels alien to one’s own identity. I fully and enthusiastically support any measures trans folk need from the broader feminist community to help lessen that pressure and eradicate that oppression. But maybe the most productive way to go forward would be to pay attention to your own articulation of the inherent contradiction (and the stress and pain it is adding), and take your own advice.
At the risk of touching off global thermonuclear war, maybe it’s just not reasonable to call for a complete reframing of the word ‘lesbian.’ Maybe that’s too much to ask, even from people who would otherwise be on your side and sympathetic to your needs and struggles if they weren’t feeling so fundamentally attacked (and from within the camp, too because a huge factor in cis lesbian socialization is being under constant attack from those who abjectly refuse to acknowledge the experience and perspective wrapped up in the historical use of the word ‘lesbian’). Maybe there are cis lesbians and trans lesbians and both are equally “real” and valid but they are just not exactly the same, and it’s (to some degree, at least) unreasonable and self defeating to try to force them to be.
I cringed when Ally said, “Men are fucking terrifying.” I don’t want to be associated with any community where men in general are denigrated like this and the comment goes unchallenged OR excuses are made for it. In spite of her horrific experiences of abuse, Ally chose to read an article about violent abuse and then comment on it, aware that it might trigger her. Not only is this the opposite of self-care, it put others here at risk.
After Ally was challenged by a few people, she responded to “So if it’s not oppressive you’re entitled to do if even if people tell you not to?” by saying:
She has a habit of grudgingly backing down without offering an apology in spite of the fact that the community expects everyone else to go the extra mile.
Instead of holding Ally to the same standards as others, people rushed to excuse her on the basis of the triggering article. In my opinion, the choice to be here was on her shoulders and she needed to be accountable for her reactions in the same way other people are expected to. She’s been infantalized and coddled to the point where she has controlled the community. That led to the following examples of emotional manipulation and passive-aggressive behaviour on this thread:
Those last two were beyond manipulative. They were abusive and there’s never an excuse for that – not when you deliberately immerse yourself in stories of abuse that you know might trigger you.
I resented the way she appointed herself as an authority instead of simply offering her own opinions. She upset me recently when someone mentioned sociopaths and not in the context of explaining away bad behaviour. Ally told that person not to demonize sociopaths because some of them are kind. I was thinking, WTF?!? By definition, sociopaths are devoid of empathy. They’re excellent mimics and can fake any behaviour but underneath they are master manipulators, exploiters, compulsive liars, cruel, and devious. I’ve been a victim of someone with all the defining characteristics of the disorder and it was sheer hell before I cut off all ties. To my knowledge, no one challenged Ally on this and I didn’t dare to. It’s like claiming some rapists are kind people. Fuck that noise.
One individual was allowed to hijack a community with self-pity, attention-seeking, and manipulative behaviours. Short-term accommodation after a crisis might be okay but not over the long term. Perhaps her age is part of the reason it was allowed to happen but enabling it doesn’t help her and it literally tore the community apart. This dynamic needs to be recognized and nipped in the bud before it gets to the stage it did here.
I’m sad to see LBT leave too, and I hope he’s the only commenter to leave this site whom I felt at least somewhat close to, selfish though that is.
@Unimaginative It’s not that the question was posed. It’s a good question. But it was posted in the context of cassandrakitty being pissed at Ally (at the time), which is why I understood it to be a rather personal attack, and not a rhetorical question, considering I spend a majority of my free thinking time obsessing over it and how it will “Other” me from women.
(Blinks) Yeah, guess I missed that one. Superficially charming and kind are not the same thing, and also…fuck it, I’ve had enough of this nonsense, I’m going to go hug a cat.
@gillyrosebee No landmine, those were all reasonable points presented in a cool manner. I need to sleep eventually and will be back tomorrow, but I’m not angry about anything that’s been said other than the possible misunderstanding vis-a-vis one of cassandra’s comments from yesterday.
OK, one more thing before I really do fuck off to play with the cat. This?
Is exactly what Ally was doing, and expecting everyone else to anticipate and accomodate and generally mold the entire blog around her/your personal stuff. It is not everyone else’s responsibility to anticipate what will trigger you and work around it. That is not a reasonable expectation. Please, everyone, let’s not let this dynamic kick in again.
Yeah, agreed. I’m glad that we care for one another during crisis, but trying to anticipate what might trigger one individual all the time is exhausting.