If the Men’s Rights movement is looking for a celebrity endorser, I think I’ve found just the guy for them: the mixed martial arts fighter, and erstwhile porn actor, War Machine, currently sitting in jail on charges of brutally beating and attempting to kill his ex-girlfriend, porn star Christy Mack.
Men’s Rights activists should be able to look past these criminal charges; after all, as they remind us all the time, women are forever falsely accusing innocent men of all sorts of terrible things.
And in so many ways War Machine is perfect for them. An MMA fighter, he’s already only one letter away from being an MRA. A misogynistic asshole with rage issues, he’ll have no trouble fitting in with the Men’s Rights crowd. And, especialy important for a movement that has a lot of trouble getting any good PR, he’s a bit more comfortable on camera than the Paul Elams and Dean Esmays of the world, with experience on television (on the reality show The Ultimate Fighter: Team Hughes vs. Team Serra), and in seven films (albeit pornographic ones).
Best of all: he’ll need no ideological education from what A Voice for Men likes to call Fuck Shit Up University. War Machine – real name Jonathan Koppenhaver – is already an outspoken proponent of many of the Men’s Rights Movement’s core beliefs.
Consider these selections from a little Men’s Rights manifesto War Machine wrote a few years ago during a previous stint behind bars, serving time for felony assault after two bloody bar fights. His rant, which a friend posted to the internet, would fit right in with the sort of stuff we’ve seen regularly posted on the Men’s Rights subreddit, or The Spearhead, or A Voice for Men. I’ve bolded some of the Men’s Rightsiest bits:
The oppression of MEN is worse than oppression of Jews in Nazi germany, worse than the slavery of Blacks in early America…
There has always been the oppressor and always the oppressed. Before, it was blatant … NOW the oppressor has learned to disguise his evil. You can see man, but you can not see MEN. How easy it is to oppress a minority that is invisible to the eye! How genius of the oppressor! And what a better target too! …
Men challenge injustice from Government, MEN fight for their Constitutional rights, that are slowly being taken away every year. …
And they don’t just oppress us by making more laws and taking away more freedom, they are far more clever than that! Ask yourself what your REAL dream was?? If you gave up on this dream, why? Because of the brainwashing of the Government, that’s why! They taught you to “play it safe.” They told us a responsible man has ONE wife, a house, good credit, good job, and kids. How are you supposed to chase your dreams while maintaining all of that!?
Men are supposed to take risks and be aggressive! What accomplishments have ever come of a man scared to risk it all!? None!? Where would the world be? Still ‘flat!’ Still ‘Earth at the center of the universe!’
If any of you have your Men’s Rights Bingo cards out, I’m guessing you might already be close to scoring a bingo. We’ve got a comparison to slavery that could have come straight from the pages of A Voice for Men, a marriage-is-death-to-male-dreams rant that could have been borrowed from any MGTOW forum, and an evo-psych-esque argument that men are the true risk-takers and the world’s real innovators.
And I don’t think War Machine would have much trouble with Paul Elam’s “Bash a Violent Bitch Month,” either.
[I]t’s Christmas day and I’m laying in my bunk wondering “Why in the hell do American men get married!?” … If your wife is being a bitch you can’t slap her, if your wife is yelling at you, God forbid you yell back … Next thing you know it will be illegal to fuck your wife! LMAO! Maybe then, MEN in this country will get the fucking hint and MOVE! This country forces you to be a bitch!
In another online posting, War Machine touched on another Men’s Rights hobbyhorse, the notion that the justice system is stacked against men:
[L]ook at the prisons, they are FULL of MEN, not women. Are men “evil” and women not? Or do the laws target and attempt to restrict NATURAL MEN’S BEHAVIOR? How many of the HEROES in American history would avoid prison if they lived today? Davey Crockett? Thomas Jefferson? David Bowie? General Grant & General Lee? Shit, George Washington. … Laws target MEN and men’s behavior. Women want to bitch and cry about their rights and equality… LMAO! MEN are the ones locked away like animals, while women run free!
Someone might have to explain to War Machine that David Bowie is not actually a famous American HERO but a famously androgynous British musician who once recorded an album called “Heroes.” (Mr. Machine may be thinking of James Bowie, a well-known 19th century American frontiersman and slave trader, and the guy the Bowie Knife is named after.)
But other than that, he seems ready to go.
There is, of course, that whole attempted murder charge to deal with.
It’s true the Men’s Rights Movement has had few problems in the past rallying behind men with histories of violence. But War Machine might be a harder sell as a Men’s Rights hero. His alleged attack on Mack left her with a cracked rib, a ruptured liver, numerous broken bones, missing teeth and her eyes swollen shut. (See here for photos of her injuries; obviously this link is NSFW and could be triggering.)
While Mr. Machine denies attacking Mack, he joked to a TV host last year that if she were to leave him “I would just kill her” and get a tattoo saying “Rest In Peace” above the tattoo of her name he has on his neck.
And several hours after allegedly trying to murder her, War Machine tweeted this lovely message about his ex:
https://twitter.com/WarMachine170/statuses/497663075831787521
War Machine does seem to be at a low point in his life. Even aside from the charges he faces, and the time he seems likely to serve, his career in porn is almost certainly over. The “Alpha Male” clothing line he helped start wants nothing to do with him. Nobody but the prison system seems to want this guy.
In other words: Men’s Rights activists, this is your chance! War Machine may not be the, er, hero you want. But he’s certainly the hero you deserve.
“My husband hit me”
“WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM YOU EVIL FEMINAZI?”
That’s how I imagine that would go, anyway.
@cassandrakitty:
Based on the stills, I totally agree. And I know it’s all because he was on his best behavior in front of the cameras of the documentery peeps. Still. *shrug*
THE INCREDIBLE MISOGYNIST is a large green humanoid that possesses near limitless superhuman rage and great lack of self awareness, attributes that grow more potent the angrier he becomes. He is the alter ego of Paul Elam, a socially withdrawn and emotionally reserved uncredentialed counselor & grifter who physically transforms into the Misogynist under, well let’s face it, totally normal circumstances. When transformed (i.e all the fucking time), the Misogynist often acts as a disassociated personality separate from Elam, writing “satire” that is actually stuff that both Elam and the Misogynist actually believe.
Young Esmay looked like a totally average hippie dude, he’s really a case study in what habitual anger and resentment can do to your face.
Ninja’d by cassandra!
Here’s Pauly
Can you imagine even having to make him coffee, or sell him a bottle of water? I wonder if he’s ever ended up on one of those sites about how much it sucks to work in customer service.
kittehserf– it’s just so scary how well that works….but I still laughed despite the horror!
That’s something I wonder, actually. How much of these people’s personalities leak into their day-to-day lives? Like, you know how one of the Honey Badger women was filmed while getting her hair cut? Does she just, like, unload on people when she’s sitting around?
They’re outspoken enough online that I can’t imagine they’d balk at MRAging at people in person.
I’m wondering if, say, his coffee doesn’t get made quite right if he accuses the barista of trying to poison him with soy milk designed to lower his testosterone because she’s a feminist, and then tries to take a photo of her for Register Her.
Jack Nicholson has a special place in my heart, and Elam can’t match the bulgy-eyed goofiness. He does look much more stalkerish, though.
“Oh, there you are. There seems to be a door in my way. How unfortunate. For you.”
Cassandrakitty, I’d be shocked Elam didn’t have a diatribe about soy milk and how it was all a feminazi plot to demasculitize the male population. REAL MEN DRINK COW JUICE STRAIGHT FROM THE UDDER! PASTURIZATION IS MISANDRY!
For some reason he reminds me of Oscar the Grouch from Sesame Street in that image.
I’m just not sure how he’s able to survive the real world. There are a lot of women outside. Walking around. Driving. Biking. Eating in restaurants and cafes. I imagine he must blow a gasket every time a feeeemale comes into view. Based on what I’ve seen, he will probably look for any excuse to be angry with the women around him.
Plastics are a secret feminist plot to lower testosterone too! So basically you should just limbo under the cow with your mouth open and hope for the best.
Oscar just wants to be green!
Stupid brain’s trying to write a parody now… “It’s not easy being mean…”
I worked with a guy like this once. His axis of RAGE wasn’t gender, it was more complicated, but he had a similar worldview otherwise. Anything less than complete agreement with him meant total war.
We once went out together to get breakfast burritos, and that experience left me apologizing to the people in that cafe for the next 3 months in order to disassociate myself from him. And to make sure they didn’t spit in my breakfast burritos.
(He actually wasn’t a terrible human being on every axis. It was complicated. His boss was psychologically abusive, and it had a terrible emotional cost.)
How do you even walk around thinking half the population is out to kill you, jail you, or steal your money and sperm? How does that even work? The cognitive dissonence must be incredible.
Comparing his….delusions of terror to those that, you know, other people face? Such as women, trans women, women of color, men of color….he just sounds like a big, dumb, delusional baby. A baby that takes people’s money.
The really scary thing was how easy it was to find a pic of Elam that worked!
Be great if he did and the cow took a dump …
kittehserf:
Nothing would happen. Elam is too used to bullshit.
I chuckled heartily.
If it’s a female barista, he probably reads his order from a prepared statement.
@Kirbywarp
Theamazingathest gets banned from restaurants constantly.
As I cannot stand to watch his garbage for more than a few seconds I have no idea how he does this
On Woody, he has to make 5 posts that are relevant and don’t mention AVFM. So he’s got 3 left.
But I’m feeling generous, Woody, so just 2 more and you’re ok.
You are too kind, David! 😀