Over on Chateau Heartiste, everyone’s favorite racist pickup artist gasbag Heartiste excitedly reports on the a giant leap forward in the ongoing “Sexbot Revolution” – a Japanese company has a new lifesize sex doll that looks slightly less creepy than the creepy sex dolls now on the market.
Heartiste quotes a Daily Mail article on the dramatic new development, because where else would you turn for important news in science and technology other than the Daily Mail?
Orient Industry say their new range of dolls, made from high quality silicon, are so realistic there is very little to distinguish them from a real girlfriend at first glance. …
[A]dverts in the media boast that anyone who buys one will never want a real girlfriend again.
Thoughts in my head respond that the potential girlfriends of the world will not be heartbroken at the news that dudes who can’t tell the difference between a giant rubber doll and a real woman will be leaving the dating market.
Heartiste, however, is delighted, writing:
The dolls come with a “skeleton”, which means they can be arranged into any position. Any position.
I’m pretty sure you can already do that with Stretch Armstrong, at a fraction of the price.
The coming sexbot revolution — and make no mistake, it is coming — will have profound ramifications on social order and the functioning of the sexual market. To this day, people underestimate the effect the Pill had on Western society; multiply that effect by a thousand and you’ll get an idea of the subversive havoc mass consumable sexbots will wreak.
Of course, these new sex dolls aren’t, strictly speaking, sexbots. They’re inert human-sized, human-shaped sex toys that probably weigh more than me.
If you want to experience true interactive setbottery, you need to go virtual.
The video below shows just how advanced modern kissing simulators have become. Indeed, one would be hard pressed to tell the difference between the software demonstrated in this video and actual real world kissing.
The video below that, meanwhile, offers a glimpse of what technology has achieved in the realm of breast simulation, though sadly the current technology only supports one breast at a time. But make no mistake, the frighteningly wiggly and anatomically, er, improbable simulated boob revolution is coming! NSFW, obviously. And even weirder than the kissing video, if you can believe it.
Kissing:
Boobs:
Some people do. Just say’n. It’s a thing.
Meanwhile here’s Data looking like someone just explained the sex doll “revolution” to him.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/09/DataTNG.jpg
…and Dr.Okun being told about it.
http://l.yimg.com/a/p/sp/editorial_image/04/04020723d696d120e496c487c718042f/puck_daddy_nhl_season_preview_calgary_flames.jpg
Off topic entirely: Brent Spiner seriously needs to update his webpage.
That sounds like something you’d find in Ed Gein’s or Jeffery Dahmer’s fridge.
Why not just hump a package of greasy cold cuts if cold lumps of meat do it for ya?
One could argue that Data qualifies as a sexbot (he has sex, once, in the broadcast series), except there are multiple episodes devoted to defending his agency and rights as a sentient being. Somehow I think the sexbot revolution folks wouldn’t be happy if provided a whole bunch of fem!Datas.
Our continuing mission: to explore strange, new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly fuck where no one has fucked before.
Well and also, wouldn’t your fridge vagina be cold?
Pallygirl:
That reminds me how, in Hitchiker series, the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation makes both elevators and service robots that are “genuine human personalities”: intelligent, but not usually very smart or pleasant to interact with. Just imagine how their sexbots would be like 🙂
Cassandra, on bots doing household chores:
*Snrkfrk*
Falconer:
Asking sex tips from someone named Dr. Lovecraft is not always a good idea.
Anarchonist:
I paint my picket fence with all the colors of the wind.
Fibi: Congrats!
Cassandra, on not washing jeans:
I suspect that will only kill the crabs at best.
Happy birthday, Fibinachi!
And hope you’re feeling better soon, Falconer!
Thanks, but everything I’ve been able to find says I’ll itch for a week.
I’d join that expedition.
While watching the Data/Yar scene makes me cringe at the awkwardness of it all. It made for interesting character development. I wish it had been done better and not with a wink and a nudge. If memory serves, it came across as fairly goofy. I think later when he kept her picture as a memento after her death it was used to show he did have real and meaningful relationships with people and was himself a person.
Did anyone ever see Trekkies? Apparently there were fans that sent Spiner and Crosby erotic fan art of their characters. That scene started many a pants fire.
Your… your picket fence? Made out of wood?
Grandmother Willow!
No really, I would totally give a hilarious response to this, but the answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind. The answer is blowing in the wind.
Yes, I’m drunk off my ass. How did you guess?
I think that was what touched me most about Data, actually, was how he quietly mourned for Tasha through at least Season 4.
While I do enjoy poseable robot dolls, I don’t see the point in one that can’t become a fighter aircraft, a tengu ninja, or is a 1:1 scale model of a palm-sized and adorable insect hunter robot.
Happy birthday, Fibinachi!
(sorry, but check? either I’ve annoyed someone and gotten modded or the mammoth is eating my posts)
Kinky is using a feather, perverse is using a whole thawed chicken! (ba-dum-ting).
If you had a lab-created vagina, you would need an entire mechanical life-support system to keep it healthy…and it really can’t be done right now. Otherwise they could stick our heads on life support units and keep us alive after multiple organ failure.
Transport for transplantable organs has to be fast-like I *believe* the organs have to go into someone else within 24 hours of removal, or they time out. Tissue stays viable longer though.
You’d be far better off using internal hydraulics, vibration and rollers to create similar effects.
(hey, if I’ve annoyed someone, tell me what to stop doing, ok?)
You know, reading these conversations always kinda weird me out, just because I’m pretty sure a lot of people see my marriage as just a crazier form of living sexbot.
Then I realized that, you know. My husband has a LIFE outside of me. He goes to church. He goes to Bible Study. He works out while I rattle my keyboard. Hell, he talks to people. I can’t just shove him in my closet when convenient! (And why would I want to? D8)
RE: Octo
Well, personally, I see no harm in there eventually being better sex toys for men (and, presumably, for women, too).
The problem isn’t that they’re better sex toys. The problem is that they’re being marketed as REPLACEMENT GIRLFRIENDS.
I dunno about you, but hubby doesn’t call my strap-on a substitute boyfriend.
RE: blahlistic
The website eats people sometimes. Hell, it happens to me every time I throw a writeathon!
Oh, was Octo WATMing again?
Actually, I’d reverse that.
The PUA culture is about turning women into sex toys as much as possible… You know, interchangeable, generic, other.
You put batteries into a sex toy, you put attention and gifts into a girlfriend, to keep both going.
But you aren’t emotionally attached to the toy or the girlfriend.
The actual girlfriend is going to continue to assert her “defect” of having an actual personhood separate from what the PUA projects onto her.
…Therefore, I’d argue the human girlfriends are actually insufficiently predictable and submissive sex toys.
Heartiste is happy the real deal is in the works.
Proxieme
Yes but they want real women to inflict pain and gain control. They can’t have the same pleasure with a fake one. And what about pedophiles? Maybe they will order a child version but again it’s not the same.
fruitloopsy,
They don’t market kiddie sex dolls openly (thank goodness) but they do make elves.
Some look like small adults.
http://www.kuroneko-chan.com/echoes/images/PIB_bitzy01.jpg
Some do not. TRIGGER WARNING:
http://i01.i.aliimg.com/wsphoto/v1/563081697_1/LITTLE-SOLID-font-b-ELF-b-font-SEX-font-b-DOLL-b-font-SILICONE-1-2m.jpg
Here’s a bunny to bleach your brain:
http://data1.whicdn.com/images/48278758/large.gif
Lea
IF there are child versions and that even IF the mgtow and pedophiles did get what they want, it won’t be the same and they will continue to desire REAL women and children to hurt and control.
The elves will be pretty cool in a movie or book: The Elf Games or something (kinda creeped out) and I’m going to skip the second picture and just enjoy the bunny thank you.
The reason Heartiste et al are eagerly waiting for the sexbots is not because they want to finally not have to deal with real women; it’s because they think the Dreaded Vaginocracy will crumble once men have the option of fucking sexbots instead of enslaving themselves for poon.
What’s up with the facial expressions on these dolls? Do buyers want habitually-sad and/or haunted-looking toys? (That sounds like a joke set-up, so run with it if you want 🙂
Their skeletons (soooo creeeeepy) can apparently do a lot of interesting things. I wonder if their faces are malleable as well… “Hey, turn that frown upside down! Oh, um, it’s ok, I’ll do it for you.”
There are so many kinds of smiles… I hope somebody accidentally puts the Joker’s smile on their doll’s face. That could lead a person to re-evaluate their life choices.