Over on Chateau Heartiste, everyone’s favorite racist pickup artist gasbag Heartiste excitedly reports on the a giant leap forward in the ongoing “Sexbot Revolution” – a Japanese company has a new lifesize sex doll that looks slightly less creepy than the creepy sex dolls now on the market.
Heartiste quotes a Daily Mail article on the dramatic new development, because where else would you turn for important news in science and technology other than the Daily Mail?
Orient Industry say their new range of dolls, made from high quality silicon, are so realistic there is very little to distinguish them from a real girlfriend at first glance. …
[A]dverts in the media boast that anyone who buys one will never want a real girlfriend again.
Thoughts in my head respond that the potential girlfriends of the world will not be heartbroken at the news that dudes who can’t tell the difference between a giant rubber doll and a real woman will be leaving the dating market.
Heartiste, however, is delighted, writing:
The dolls come with a “skeleton”, which means they can be arranged into any position. Any position.
I’m pretty sure you can already do that with Stretch Armstrong, at a fraction of the price.
The coming sexbot revolution — and make no mistake, it is coming — will have profound ramifications on social order and the functioning of the sexual market. To this day, people underestimate the effect the Pill had on Western society; multiply that effect by a thousand and you’ll get an idea of the subversive havoc mass consumable sexbots will wreak.
Of course, these new sex dolls aren’t, strictly speaking, sexbots. They’re inert human-sized, human-shaped sex toys that probably weigh more than me.
If you want to experience true interactive setbottery, you need to go virtual.
The video below shows just how advanced modern kissing simulators have become. Indeed, one would be hard pressed to tell the difference between the software demonstrated in this video and actual real world kissing.
The video below that, meanwhile, offers a glimpse of what technology has achieved in the realm of breast simulation, though sadly the current technology only supports one breast at a time. But make no mistake, the frighteningly wiggly and anatomically, er, improbable simulated boob revolution is coming! NSFW, obviously. And even weirder than the kissing video, if you can believe it.
Kissing:
Boobs:
Well because women are already basically robots in their eyes, so an actual sexbot is not a replacement but an upgrade.
Essentially they’ll finally manage to fix the “firmware” issues that causes all those “things I don’t care about unrelated to putting my dick in it”. I don’t know that it’s about feeling anything re: the women you domineer and punish for being female, my guess is it’s a measure of bragging to other men about how little you like women.
“Sure, I can’t wait for the sexbot revolution where I can have acesss vagina without all those icky womanly things getting in the way, am I right fellas?”
—–
Anyhow, mechatronics is a hugely awesome field that I wish I had gotten into but I couldn’t hack it in engineering school. Have half an inkling to go back, since they’ve got spaces for ROBOT TECHNICIANS.
First order of the day? Building a robot that can do something amazingly complex like walk up a stair and open a door.
One thing with the sexbot is that it’s not going to be a cyborg – it’s not going to have the ability to move like a human and feel like it has the musculature of a human. If they want it to move like a human and be ballpark human weight, I assume they’ll need to use titanium for the “bones” as other metals will be too heavy. So once you start looking at the options for engineering limb movement, let alone body sculpting/feel, plus circuitry and logic programming, we’re talking serious money. And that won’t even get you a robot that can walk like a human, we’re only talking an object that can animate itself into relatively few positions.
No way is this sexbot going to be anything like a human for looks, feel, movement, intellect, working in harmony with the other person (would need an AI that could develop in ways not yet possible).
So yeah, they seem to have this bloody dream of a sexbot that is capable of all these things that is also *affordable to them*. Not going to happen.
They have been developing carebots in Japan, as their elderly population is exploding ahead of other countries’. Here is a link to one that I saw discussed: http://www.roboticstrends.com/service_healthcare/article/service_robot_to_aid_japanese_elderly
Note how this is a typical robot that does not have human legs. So stairs and uneven surfaces (e.g. like you mind find in a mine) prevents their wider usage. They also have to make the robots have some human-like characteristics so that people will accept their use. You can see from this thread that they are typically given friendly human-like faces: http://www.doc-center.robosoft.com/Investors_wiki/Kompaii_Business_Plan/Kompaii_concurrents and note the large “eyes”, which are designed purposefully to be that way.
/sigh “…like you might find in a mine…”
That’s the best part, when they predict fully functional sexbots within the decade. Well, we have one that can play football very poorly, so I’m sure blowjobbots that won’t accidentally cause serious injury are just around the corner.
Yeah, I was thinking of the Japanese carebots. I’m sure DaveCat is terribly disappointed that the country has lost its way in prioritizing care of its elderly population rather than his boner.
ASIMO can do stairs (and kick a soccer ball!). I dunno about doorknobs, but that honestly seems like it would be easier to program because there are no awkward balance issues.
Or blowjobbots where the sexbot actually blows. LOL This has always confused me, how on earth did the word “blow” get tacked onto the start?
I wonder if they’ve taken how literal even a robot with a good AI would be into account. I’m picturing what would happen if they tried hints and innuendo on one.
These are PUAs, do you think they do innuendo?
Point taken about misunderstandings. Look at the word meaning differences between predominantly English-speaking countries (e.g. fanny in US/Canada vs. in NZ/Australia/UK), let alone immigrants from a different language background trying to understand colloquialisms.
Good reason for a Queen video:
They’re not going to be satisfied with sexbots. Like with MGTOW, the point of the fantasy is not to live your own life away from women, it’s to punish women in some arbitrary, passive-aggressive manner by robbing them of your pleasant company. It’s going Galt, but for self-absorbed rageboners instead of self-absorbed money-grubbers. What they fail (or fear) to grasp is that no one wants them in the dating pool as long as they act like the entitled manchildren that they are.
At first, they were like “we’re going our own way, and won’t you be sorry!”, and failed to go away anyway. When anyone didn’t care in the least, they’re all “we’re getting our own sexbots and having a lot of sex with them instead of you and then you’ll be sorry!” I don’t know what the next step in their grand plan I like to call SPAM (Somebody Pay Attention to Me) will be, but I do know this: Even if we all chipped in to buy them their own sexbot to get them to leave the rest of us alone, the knowledge that the women they hate are out there, living their life, having relationships with people who actually like them and not wasting a single thought on these fuckers (pun somewhat intended) will drive them out of their self-imposed exile.
I also find it hilarious that they seem to think sexbots are some universal sexual ideal for all men. Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer to have relationships – both platonic and sexual – with human beings instead of dolls, thank you very much.
@pallygirl: All reasons to post Queen videos are good reasons.
That is old fashioned.
I just want to be left alone. GITOFFMAHLAWN.
The idea that women will be sad because the kind of men who want to fuck sex dolls or a vagina that they keep in the fridge don’t want to date us is just so ridiculous, though.
Yeah, it’s rather more the opposite, isn’t it?
I … I … oh god.
A vagina. That you keep in the fridge.
That is horrifying. And yet, somehow, the much cheaper alternative is rather more horrifying:
Jbhyqa’g vg or purncre gb ohl phgf bs orrs?
Content note for all the ewww.
(Copy and paste here for a translation … if you want it.)
@cassandrakitty: It is kinda ridiculous, isn’t it?
Personally, I think it’s what you become if you never grow out of the Mary Sue fantasy phase of imaginary relevance. Doesn’t matter what disgusting things you do or how crass you act in real life, your amazingness should shine through to other people like a fucking beacon of awesomeness. When blowjobs fail to materialize, there must be something wrong with the world (probably the lesser creatures conspiring against you out of envy and jealousy), since there’s certainly nothing wrong with you.
At least, that’s how I felt while reading Fountainhead.
@Fibinachi:
Never!
You can’t own a lawn, man, you can’t just, like, own a lawn. Can you claim you own a particular piece of air? Property is theft, man, and your lawn is, like, where I happen to like to smoke weed and be all, like, philosophical and shit.
It does seem like an arrested development issue, given how prone they are to monologing.
Bah, Anarchonist! I turn 23 today. I’m allowed to stake inaginary grandiose claims on non existent property and act properly flummonxed when nary a soul allow my stake a smidgeon of consideration because each and all is a baseless proposition borne from hard-edged egocentricity!
Act like an mra? Why I never…
@Falconer
Your bountiful, ceaseless presenting of nightmarish terrors finds new lows. I hate your fetid presents of ohgodnowhyyyy and the stains they leave, permanently, on my soul :b
Also? Probably true, really.
@ Falconer
And you thought it was weird when hipsters started freezing their super expensive selvedge jeans so they wouldn’t have to wash them. I’d rather find jeans in the fridge/freezer than random body parts.
Well, fuck me. Happy birthday, Fibinachi! Come join me on your metaphorical lawn and share this metaphorical joint with me. Then, if you’re up to it, we can go to a metaphorical amusement park on a few metaphorical rides, and I’ll buy you metaphorical cotton candy with my metaphorical money.
Then, at the end of the metaphorical day, we can sit down, watch the metaphorical sunset and wonder what the fuck all these metaphors were supposed to represent.
Falconer: A vagina. That you keep in the fridge.
V fjrne – V’z whfg ubyqvat vg sbe n sevraq…
@Fibinachi: Well I didn’t get a whole lot of sleep last night, why should anyone else?
@Phoenician: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggghhhh I guess that serves me right.
@Cassandrakitty: Wait what now? Freezing jeans so you don’t have to wash them? How does that work? And yes, there are things I’d rather find in the freezer.
So the theory is that you shouldn’t wash the really dark, high quality selvedge jeans for at least 6 months so that they can develop a unique wear pattern based on where they crease when you move and so on and mold to your body shape. Even the most dedicated follower of this theory eventually starts to ask themselves (let’s be honest, usually himself) if a. germs might be a problem and b. the jeans might be getting a bit whiffy. So they freeze them, the theory being that this will kill any germs that might have accumulated.
I would not be thrilled about this, since jeans that have been worn for months right next to my food? No thanks. It’s still better than finding random body parts, though.