Over on Chateau Heartiste, everyone’s favorite racist pickup artist gasbag Heartiste excitedly reports on the a giant leap forward in the ongoing “Sexbot Revolution” – a Japanese company has a new lifesize sex doll that looks slightly less creepy than the creepy sex dolls now on the market.
Heartiste quotes a Daily Mail article on the dramatic new development, because where else would you turn for important news in science and technology other than the Daily Mail?
Orient Industry say their new range of dolls, made from high quality silicon, are so realistic there is very little to distinguish them from a real girlfriend at first glance. …
[A]dverts in the media boast that anyone who buys one will never want a real girlfriend again.
Thoughts in my head respond that the potential girlfriends of the world will not be heartbroken at the news that dudes who can’t tell the difference between a giant rubber doll and a real woman will be leaving the dating market.
Heartiste, however, is delighted, writing:
The dolls come with a “skeleton”, which means they can be arranged into any position. Any position.
I’m pretty sure you can already do that with Stretch Armstrong, at a fraction of the price.
The coming sexbot revolution — and make no mistake, it is coming — will have profound ramifications on social order and the functioning of the sexual market. To this day, people underestimate the effect the Pill had on Western society; multiply that effect by a thousand and you’ll get an idea of the subversive havoc mass consumable sexbots will wreak.
Of course, these new sex dolls aren’t, strictly speaking, sexbots. They’re inert human-sized, human-shaped sex toys that probably weigh more than me.
If you want to experience true interactive setbottery, you need to go virtual.
The video below shows just how advanced modern kissing simulators have become. Indeed, one would be hard pressed to tell the difference between the software demonstrated in this video and actual real world kissing.
The video below that, meanwhile, offers a glimpse of what technology has achieved in the realm of breast simulation, though sadly the current technology only supports one breast at a time. But make no mistake, the frighteningly wiggly and anatomically, er, improbable simulated boob revolution is coming! NSFW, obviously. And even weirder than the kissing video, if you can believe it.
Kissing:
Boobs:
By that he means when he puts googly eyes and makeup on his hand.
Thank you. I really needed a good laugh today!
And just in case it’s not clear, I wasn’t being sarcastic there.
But can he do this?
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wnMijJm57A&w=420&h=315%5D
Lids: I don’t get these people. If I was going to get a sexbot, I would NOT want it to look like a person.
Note to self: avoid touching vacuum cleaners at Lids’ house.
Okay, quick brain bleach.
Last night my boy upended a small bowl of pretzels on the living room floor.
Then he immediately walked over to our vacuum cleaner and patted it and gave us an expectant look.
(They love to watch the vacuum cleaner, in case it wasn’t clear.)
This article reminded me of the episode of Rick and Korty where Morty got the sex robot.
♛ Rick and Morty S01E07 Raising Gazorpazorp: http://youtu.be/E44XtGbLbDQ
David:
Allegedly the infamous RealDolls weigh even less than the small adult they represent. Probably because, otherwise many users would break their backs dragging them around.
Lea:
Heartiste is probably just trolling for attention here, but many of his followers might believe that, while most men would be thrilled with sufficiently advanced sex toys, women would want something more than that, and certainly much more than what’s available for now.
Besides, they might intuitively think that sex dolls specifically (rather than, say, vibrators) lead the development towards future artificial sex partners, just because they sort of look like the finished product. Since almost no sex dolls are made for or bought by women, it might not even occur to them that women could have their own sexbots in the future.
Lids:
What does a “legitimate robot” look like? Whatever you want, and what’s necessary for the intended function. I have this vision of an artificial intelligence system that can control a variety of sex toys and virtual reality devices as its physical user interface. Maybe it could read your mind and know your wishes handily that way. Heck, maybe it could stimulate your brain directly.
(Overthinking, I does it with sex fantasies)
Johnny 5 is ALIVE!!!
Thank you for the brain bleach, Falconer, lol.
More vacuum brain bleach:
@Puddleglum: You’re welcome! Here’s another:
My babies are starting to learn the names of body parts (toes, knee, nose, eyes, bellybutton, duodenum, etc.) and my little girl, while being rocked to sleep night before last, put her finger on Beloved’s nose and said “My nose!” and then on her nose and said “Your nose!”
So we still need to work on pronouns.
Oh man, even with the player laughing his ass off at the absurdity, I found the fucking boob simulator SO CREEPY. Straight dudes, what is your PROBLEM? What the everloving fuck? Straight women don’t make creepyass simulators of your dicks so they can pretend to digitally play with them! I mean, yeeesh! D8
RE: Howard Bannister
Johnny 5 is ALIVE!!!
Nooooo! Johnny 5 is innocent and kind! Don’t throw him to the manospherians!
@Falconer
…I am ded of cute.
Pewdiepie! 😀 That kiss simulator is hilarious!
Alas, poor Howard, I slew him, Horatio.
Babies are very effective brain bleach. ALL YOUR NOSES ARE BELONG TO BABIES.
I would think that after a while they’d get tired of a having a life-less sex doll/robot. I mean….how exactly do you neg a doll/robot? Her feelings won’t be hurt, there won’t be some sort of domination/conquer challenge….don’t they realize all the “charm” is gone? You can’t spit game at a doll/robot.
I fell in love with a girl
I fell in love once and almost completely
She’s in love with the world
But sometimes these feelings
Can be so misleading
She turns and says are you red pill?
I said I must be now that I’ve gone my own way
Come and kiss me by the riverside
Bobby says he’ll warm up the simulator now
(What do they put in Dayquil, anyway?)
Makes sense. When Beloved touches her own nose, she says “my nose,” and when she touches the baby’s nose, she says “your nose.” So that’s what it’s called, right?
Exactly, katz.
Crap, my thermometer just registered 101.7° F (~ 38.72° C).
Time out.
Well, personally, I see no harm in there eventually being better sex toys for men (and, presumably, for women, too).
The only sad part is that people (I use “people” in a rather loose sense here) like heartiste see women already as nothing more than sex toys. I mean, it’s also insulting, but it kinda is also sad, because, good god, has that guy not found any *emotional* fulfillment in relationships? I mean, given what he writes that’s little wonder, but still…
Yup, cassandra mentioned that last time all this came up.
With all the talk of the new DMMD anime on tumblr seeing the term sex bot made my mind immediately go to Clear. Then again Clear has his own wants, desires and free will… and is a guy…
I’m thinking MRAs wouldn’t be too keen on sex-capable robots with free will, be they male or female. After all, that pesky free will is what they hate about actual human women in the first place!
The sexbot revolution I’d like to see: female ‘bots who get misogynist men like Roissy pregnant.
Muahahahaha!