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Heartiste hails great leap forward in sexbot technology. Bonus: anatomically improbable kissing and boob simulators!

Oriental Industries' new "Dutch Wife" sex dolls: Cannot be distinguished from real women (if you've never seen a real woman).
Oriental Industry’s new “Dutch Wife” sex dolls: Cannot be distinguished from real women (if you’ve never seen a real woman).

 

Over on Chateau Heartiste, everyone’s favorite racist pickup artist gasbag Heartiste excitedly reports on the a giant leap forward in the ongoing “Sexbot Revolution” – a Japanese company has a new lifesize sex doll that looks slightly less creepy than the creepy sex dolls now on the market.

Heartiste quotes a Daily Mail article on the dramatic new development, because where else would you turn for important news in science and technology other than the Daily Mail?

Orient Industry say their new range of dolls, made from high quality silicon, are so realistic there is very little to distinguish them from a real girlfriend at first glance. …

[A]dverts in the media boast that anyone who buys one will never want a real girlfriend again.

Thoughts in my head respond that the potential girlfriends of the world will not be heartbroken at the news that dudes who can’t tell the difference between a giant rubber doll and a real woman will be leaving the dating market.

Heartiste, however, is delighted, writing:

The dolls come with a “skeleton”, which means they can be arranged into any position. Any position.

I’m pretty sure you can already do that with Stretch Armstrong, at a fraction of the price.

The coming sexbot revolution — and make no mistake, it is coming — will have profound ramifications on social order and the functioning of the sexual market. To this day, people underestimate the effect the Pill had on Western society; multiply that effect by a thousand and you’ll get an idea of the subversive havoc mass consumable sexbots will wreak.

Of course, these new sex dolls aren’t, strictly speaking, sexbots. They’re inert human-sized, human-shaped sex toys that probably weigh more than me.

If you want to experience true interactive setbottery, you need to go virtual.

The video below shows just how advanced modern kissing simulators have become. Indeed, one would be hard pressed to tell the difference between the software demonstrated in this video and actual real world kissing.

The video below that, meanwhile, offers a glimpse of what technology has achieved in the realm of breast simulation, though sadly the current technology only supports one breast at a time.  But make no mistake, the frighteningly wiggly and anatomically, er, improbable simulated boob revolution is coming! NSFW, obviously. And even weirder than the kissing video, if you can believe it.

Kissing:

Boobs:

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hellkell
hellkell
6 years ago

I love how even the Daily Mail, bastion of misogyny that it is, knows that these things are creepy as hell, and yet they remind Roissy of his “girlfriends”

By that he means when he puts googly eyes and makeup on his hand.

cloudiah
6 years ago

By that he means when he puts googly eyes and makeup on his hand.

Thank you. I really needed a good laugh today!

cloudiah
6 years ago

And just in case it’s not clear, I wasn’t being sarcastic there.

Cassie's Major Domo
Cassie's Major Domo
6 years ago

By that he means when he puts googly eyes and makeup on his hand.

But can he do this?
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wnMijJm57A&w=420&h=315%5D

Phoenician in a time of Romans
Phoenician in a time of Romans
6 years ago

Lids: I don’t get these people. If I was going to get a sexbot, I would NOT want it to look like a person.

Note to self: avoid touching vacuum cleaners at Lids’ house.

Falconer
6 years ago

Note to self: avoid touching vacuum cleaners at Lids’ house.

Okay, quick brain bleach.

Last night my boy upended a small bowl of pretzels on the living room floor.

Then he immediately walked over to our vacuum cleaner and patted it and gave us an expectant look.

(They love to watch the vacuum cleaner, in case it wasn’t clear.)

Walter
Walter
6 years ago

This article reminded me of the episode of Rick and Korty where Morty got the sex robot.

♛ Rick and Morty S01E07 Raising Gazorpazorp: http://youtu.be/E44XtGbLbDQ

Arctic Ape
Arctic Ape
6 years ago

David:

They’re inert human-sized, human-shaped sex toys that probably weigh more than me.

Allegedly the infamous RealDolls weigh even less than the small adult they represent. Probably because, otherwise many users would break their backs dragging them around.

Lea:

If these guys think improved sex toys for men (If you consider these dolls an improvement) will start some sort of anti-woman revolution, why do they think that vibrators and dildos have not caused an anti-man revolution in which straight and bi cis women to stop having sex and relationships with men?

Heartiste is probably just trolling for attention here, but many of his followers might believe that, while most men would be thrilled with sufficiently advanced sex toys, women would want something more than that, and certainly much more than what’s available for now.

Besides, they might intuitively think that sex dolls specifically (rather than, say, vibrators) lead the development towards future artificial sex partners, just because they sort of look like the finished product. Since almost no sex dolls are made for or bought by women, it might not even occur to them that women could have their own sexbots in the future.

Lids:

If I was going to get a sexbot, I would NOT want it to look like a person. I would want it to be a legitimate robot because it would be a helluva a lot less creepy than a dead eyed plastic doll. Maybe that’s just me.

What does a “legitimate robot” look like? Whatever you want, and what’s necessary for the intended function. I have this vision of an artificial intelligence system that can control a variety of sex toys and virtual reality devices as its physical user interface. Maybe it could read your mind and know your wishes handily that way. Heck, maybe it could stimulate your brain directly.

(Overthinking, I does it with sex fantasies)

Howard Bannister
6 years ago

What does a “legitimate robot” look like?

Johnny 5 is ALIVE!!!

Puddleglum
6 years ago

Thank you for the brain bleach, Falconer, lol.

More vacuum brain bleach:

Falconer
6 years ago

@Puddleglum: You’re welcome! Here’s another:

My babies are starting to learn the names of body parts (toes, knee, nose, eyes, bellybutton, duodenum, etc.) and my little girl, while being rocked to sleep night before last, put her finger on Beloved’s nose and said “My nose!” and then on her nose and said “Your nose!”

So we still need to work on pronouns.

LBT
LBT
6 years ago

Oh man, even with the player laughing his ass off at the absurdity, I found the fucking boob simulator SO CREEPY. Straight dudes, what is your PROBLEM? What the everloving fuck? Straight women don’t make creepyass simulators of your dicks so they can pretend to digitally play with them! I mean, yeeesh! D8

RE: Howard Bannister

Johnny 5 is ALIVE!!!

Nooooo! Johnny 5 is innocent and kind! Don’t throw him to the manospherians!

Howard Bannister
6 years ago

@Falconer

…I am ded of cute.

chronic lurker
chronic lurker
6 years ago

Pewdiepie! 😀 That kiss simulator is hilarious!

Falconer
6 years ago

Alas, poor Howard, I slew him, Horatio.

cloudiah
6 years ago

Babies are very effective brain bleach. ALL YOUR NOSES ARE BELONG TO BABIES.

redpoppy
redpoppy
6 years ago

I would think that after a while they’d get tired of a having a life-less sex doll/robot. I mean….how exactly do you neg a doll/robot? Her feelings won’t be hurt, there won’t be some sort of domination/conquer challenge….don’t they realize all the “charm” is gone? You can’t spit game at a doll/robot.

Falconer
6 years ago

I fell in love with a girl
I fell in love once and almost completely
She’s in love with the world
But sometimes these feelings
Can be so misleading
She turns and says are you red pill?
I said I must be now that I’ve gone my own way
Come and kiss me by the riverside
Bobby says he’ll warm up the simulator now

(What do they put in Dayquil, anyway?)

katz
6 years ago

My babies are starting to learn the names of body parts (toes, knee, nose, eyes, bellybutton, duodenum, etc.) and my little girl, while being rocked to sleep night before last, put her finger on Beloved’s nose and said “My nose!” and then on her nose and said “Your nose!”

Makes sense. When Beloved touches her own nose, she says “my nose,” and when she touches the baby’s nose, she says “your nose.” So that’s what it’s called, right?

Falconer
6 years ago

Exactly, katz.

Falconer
6 years ago

Crap, my thermometer just registered 101.7° F (~ 38.72° C).

Time out.

Octo
Octo
6 years ago

Well, personally, I see no harm in there eventually being better sex toys for men (and, presumably, for women, too).

The only sad part is that people (I use “people” in a rather loose sense here) like heartiste see women already as nothing more than sex toys. I mean, it’s also insulting, but it kinda is also sad, because, good god, has that guy not found any *emotional* fulfillment in relationships? I mean, given what he writes that’s little wonder, but still…

kittehserf MOD
kittehserf MOD
6 years ago

Didn’t someone comment awhile back that blowup dolls frequently get returned to the manufacturer with horrifying damage (stabs, burns, gouges, slash marks)? I mean, far better to take out their aggressive misogyny on an inanimate object, but these guys aren’t going to be satisfied with that. It’s no fun enslaving and abusing something if the thing isn’t aware of it.

Yup, cassandra mentioned that last time all this came up.

ladysunami
ladysunami
6 years ago

With all the talk of the new DMMD anime on tumblr seeing the term sex bot made my mind immediately go to Clear. Then again Clear has his own wants, desires and free will… and is a guy…

I’m thinking MRAs wouldn’t be too keen on sex-capable robots with free will, be they male or female. After all, that pesky free will is what they hate about actual human women in the first place!

kittehserf MOD
kittehserf MOD
6 years ago

The sexbot revolution I’d like to see: female ‘bots who get misogynist men like Roissy pregnant.

Muahahahaha!

Lady Mondegreen
6 years ago

Oooh, Cassie’s Major Domo, thank you for that image. I love Bava’s Black Sabbath, especially A Drop of Water. Scared the bejesus outta me when I was a kid and saw it on television. (I saw the American version, of course, which mangles The Telephone segment. Now I own the original on DVD.)

Lady Mondegreen
6 years ago

Any Rachel Ingalls fans here? She wrote an interesting sexbot story called In the Act. It’s in her great collection, the End of Tragedy.

blahlistic (@blahlistic)

Didn’t someone comment awhile back that blowup dolls frequently get returned to the manufacturer with horrifying damage (stabs, burns, gouges, slash marks)? I mean, far better to take out their aggressive misogyny on an inanimate object, but these guys aren’t going to be satisfied with that.

Wow…I had no idea. Considering serial killers’ tendency to ‘rehearse’ things, that sounds ominous.
(My GF watches the ID channel, AKA the murder channel, nonstop. I was already morbid to begin with…)

Cassie's Major Domo
Cassie's Major Domo
6 years ago

@LadyMondegreen

Weirdly, the U.S. versions of both Black Sabbath and Black Sunday, after getting a Blu-ray releases (packaged together) in October, after the original European versions were released on Blu from Kino. A bit backwards from the way things usually go.

I do think the U.S. version of Black Sabbath has one plus point: putting “The Wurdalak” segment last. I have this thing about anthology horror films: I want the longest and most intricate segment to come last.

blahlistic (@blahlistic)

I mean, it’s also insulting, but it kinda is also sad, because, good god, has that guy not found any *emotional* fulfillment in relationships?

They objectify and denigrate women so they *don’t* have to be vulnerable with them. They put on the alpha male crap so they don’t have to be vulnerable with other dudebros.
. Other people are just ego supplies…So, no.

Cassie's Major Domo
Cassie's Major Domo
6 years ago

Also, I’ve know about Rachel Ingalls, but never read her work. Have you read Mrs. Caliban and do you recommend it? The idea sounds fascinating.

Cassie's Major Domo
Cassie's Major Domo
6 years ago

*known

pallygirl
pallygirl
6 years ago

Everytime sexbots come up, I get reminded of Cherry 2000. It’s almost like the dudes think that was a documentary.

Westworld doesn’t always spring to mind, but yeah I can see the relevance. 🙂

Cassie's Major Domo
Cassie's Major Domo
6 years ago

Westworld has a fascinating subtext about violent/sexual masculine fantasies turning on the fantasizers. Although we see a few women going to Delos (the general amusement park), Westworld and Medieval World seem entirely geared toward macho fantasies about screwing prostitutes and shooting/punching/slaying people with impunity and zero consequences. Eventually, the robots get sick of being these guy’s punching bags and turn on them.

DJG
DJG
6 years ago

I agree with Jared; this seems much more MGTOW-oriented than PUA. I could picture any of quite a few of the MGTOW crowd living quite happily with such an object on a houseboat somewhere far, far away.

chronic lurker
chronic lurker
6 years ago

The boob simulator is even better than the kissing simulator. xD

Flying Mouse
Flying Mouse
6 years ago

I could picture any of quite a few of the MGTOW crowd living quite happily with such an object on a houseboat somewhere far, far away.

This sounds lovely. Is there a kickstarter going so that I can donate and help make this dream a reality for some lucky MGTOW? No need for thank-you gifts on this one; the satisfaction of knowing that a happy soul is living the dream, far away from an internet connection, will be enough for me.

Lady Mondegreen
6 years ago

Cassie’s Major Domo, I love Rachel Ingalls. I think she deserves to be much better known in the U.S. (her native country.) I think they appreciate her more in the U.K., where she’s lived for decades (as you probably know.)

And, yes, I’ve read Mrs. Caliban. I highly recommend it.

I’ve read everything by Ingalls, at least everything that’s been published in this country, and it’s all worth reading. The collections I See a Long Journey and The End of Tragedy and Mrs. Caliban are prolly my favorites, but it’s all good. Mrs. Caliban was my introduction to her.

Lady Mondegreen
6 years ago

(Mrs. Caliban is a novel. The others are collections of longish short stories, or novellas, or whateveryoucallem.)

Tessa
Tessa
6 years ago

The coming sexbot revolution — and make no mistake, it is coming — will have profound ramifications on social order and the functioning of the sexual market. To this day, people underestimate the effect the Pill had on Western society; multiply that effect by a thousand and you’ll get an idea of the subversive havoc mass consumable sexbots will wreak.

If you take away the BS about the “pill” (stuipd effin Matrix… is there no end to the harm you cause?), this sounds like a dire warning about how our subjugation of sexbots will be our undoing. Maybe Heartiste is a prophet ahead of his time?

So… Let’s prevent this revolution
So… Let’s prevent this revolution

Tessa
Tessa
6 years ago

(dangit, I thought I deleted the non-link line… Lousy HTML Mammoth.)

GrumpyOldMan
6 years ago

I recently read an article (sorry, I can’t remember where) about men who have sexbots and have all but fallen in love with them, but they seem to have as little interest in the MGTOW bunch as they do in having a real woman partner. It seems to me that the MGTOWs are always doing a flounce and then looking back to see whether the woman are noticing. There’s always an element of “women are gonna be sorry I gave up on them” sour grapes to the MGTOW shtick.

GrumpyOldMan
6 years ago

I got lucky with the Google (after three pages of Sex Dolls for sale):

“But Pygmalion’s true modern heir might be Davecat, a man who lives in southeastern Michigan with three high-end sex dolls. His first purchase, which he named Sidore Kuroneko, he considers his wife; the other two—named Elena and Muriel—are just intimate friends. Though he didn’t sculpt them, they are his creations. He designed their bodies before they were manufactured and their personalities after they arrived. “There was never a moment when [Sidore]—or any doll, for that matter—was merely an object to me,” he told me when we spoke last year.”

http://www.theatlantic.com/features/archive/2014/08/a-straight-male-history-of-dolls/375623/

Kim
Kim
6 years ago

I don’t get these people. If I was going to get a sexbot, I would NOT want it to look like a person. I would want it to be a legitimate robot because it would be a helluva a lot less creepy than a dead eyed plastic doll. Maybe that’s just me.

If I was going to get a robot for any purpose (ie not a sexbot, just a PA type robot) I wouldn’t want it to look like a real person. I’d want something like Astroboy. Like, why settle for reality when you can have anything.

I’d have thought sexbots would appeal more to people who are attracted to things that don’t exist (eg mythological creatures. I know there are centaur fetishists for eg) rather than for men who want women, where they will always be an imitation.

I have this vision of an artificial intelligence system that can control a variety of sex toys and virtual reality devices as its physical user interface. Maybe it could read your mind and know your wishes handily that way. Heck, maybe it could stimulate your brain directly.

This makes far more sense than having a human shaped robot, assuming your primary goal is not to pretend you’re having sex with a person.

sparky
sparky
6 years ago

…And yet, I am strangely not threatened by the future “sex-bot revolution.”

I am a little skeeved out that Heartiste seems to think that this will somehow render human women obsolete, and that that would somehow be a good thing.

blahlistic (@blahlistic)

@ Grumpy…You know…for some reason, after having read that article…I see a rough parallel in what the purchasers of high-end sex-dolls do and I do.
…At 41 I still cuddle with a stuffed animal when not sleeping at the girlfriendo’s (and therefore cuddling with her).
One of my alters told me we needed to buy it when we realized we needed to divorce the ex. My alt was totally right, we needed something to cuddle.

It is, in a weird way, the same sort of category of thing.

However, I don’t use the giant stuffed toy bunny to achieve sexual gratification, thankyaverymuch…
At any rate, these guys aren’t just meeting a need for casual sexual gratification, there’s devices for that that cost a lot, lot less than the $2500 or so one of those dolls does.

They are actually…projecting an idealized relationship onto the doll.
It also reminds me of objectophiles. They often feel a sort of personality in the buildings or structures they fall for.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-excess/201307/intimate-and-inanimate

…And for all the TMI, you are welcome.

moscow nights
moscow nights
6 years ago

Thanks for the info, David. I think this insult to women as people will result in more harm to them to the, not less. I think the whole idea is horrible. The perverts who become involved with this are never going to have a full intimate human relationship. That is the future I suppose. I hope women will escape from all this and put up high walls to avoid the spread of the fetishization of women.

GrumpyOldMan
6 years ago

And for non-sexual (I hope) cuddling, many of us have kitties …

GrumpyOldMan
6 years ago

@blahlistic You are just using the bunny for physical comfort when not with significant other — when I was a child I had a pillow that I couldn’t sleep without. Davecat’s doll IS his SO. I don’t think he’s doing any harm and I’m not sure that would be true if he were with a real woman. But it is a bit … well, judge not …