Over on Chateau Heartiste, everyone’s favorite racist pickup artist gasbag Heartiste excitedly reports on the a giant leap forward in the ongoing “Sexbot Revolution” – a Japanese company has a new lifesize sex doll that looks slightly less creepy than the creepy sex dolls now on the market.
Heartiste quotes a Daily Mail article on the dramatic new development, because where else would you turn for important news in science and technology other than the Daily Mail?
Orient Industry say their new range of dolls, made from high quality silicon, are so realistic there is very little to distinguish them from a real girlfriend at first glance. …
[A]dverts in the media boast that anyone who buys one will never want a real girlfriend again.
Thoughts in my head respond that the potential girlfriends of the world will not be heartbroken at the news that dudes who can’t tell the difference between a giant rubber doll and a real woman will be leaving the dating market.
Heartiste, however, is delighted, writing:
The dolls come with a “skeleton”, which means they can be arranged into any position. Any position.
I’m pretty sure you can already do that with Stretch Armstrong, at a fraction of the price.
The coming sexbot revolution — and make no mistake, it is coming — will have profound ramifications on social order and the functioning of the sexual market. To this day, people underestimate the effect the Pill had on Western society; multiply that effect by a thousand and you’ll get an idea of the subversive havoc mass consumable sexbots will wreak.
Of course, these new sex dolls aren’t, strictly speaking, sexbots. They’re inert human-sized, human-shaped sex toys that probably weigh more than me.
If you want to experience true interactive setbottery, you need to go virtual.
The video below shows just how advanced modern kissing simulators have become. Indeed, one would be hard pressed to tell the difference between the software demonstrated in this video and actual real world kissing.
The video below that, meanwhile, offers a glimpse of what technology has achieved in the realm of breast simulation, though sadly the current technology only supports one breast at a time. But make no mistake, the frighteningly wiggly and anatomically, er, improbable simulated boob revolution is coming! NSFW, obviously. And even weirder than the kissing video, if you can believe it.
Kissing:
Boobs:
I welcome this “sexbot revolution”
that means puas/mansophere dudes will stop complaining about women and focus on their bots right? 😀
This is funny. Heartiste imagines that no man would choose a real woman over a sexbot. He’s going to be disappointed to learn that a lot of men actually want to be in relationships and the sexbot threat from misogynists just isn’t that threatening.
Go your own way assholes. Good riddance.
I don’t get these people. If I was going to get a sexbot, I would NOT want it to look like a person. I would want it to be a legitimate robot because it would be a helluva a lot less creepy than a dead eyed plastic doll. Maybe that’s just me.
You know it is ironic that Heartiste is promoting the new sexbots. After all he is considered a pua guru and and some of these pua teachers I read charge a lot of money to gullible men to attend their pua seminars. So really if these so called sexbots become popular and sell (I doubt it will happen), Heartsiste will have no business anymore. These men won’t need a pua coach they will just have their sexbots. I find it kind of ironic how Heartiste is promoting something that can ultimately ruin his livelihood.
@jared – I was thinking the same thing. The best I can figure is that maybe Heartiste is aiming for an endorsement deal? Or hoping the manufacturer will send him a free sample? (yuck 😛 )
@Howard Bannister
Tell me more about your hissing crab-crawling vampires!
Presumably only men at the bottom of the sexual market place (not a thing) will be needing these dolls as 134.7% of women are having sex with 5.98% of men (that was the stats wasn’t it?) so which women is this punishing? And is the mention of the pill suggesting that sex toys will liberate men in the same way? Really?
I never thought I’d feel sorry for a sex toy, but then I thought it would be a good idea to find video of these revolutionary things in action. I regret that decision.
@Howard:
Are you available for babysitting?
The boob simulator video was so funny that I completely forgot about the awful dead stare of sex dolls. 10/10, perfect brain bleach.
Daintydougal
“I never thought I’d feel sorry for a sex toy”
I feel awful for them too. 🙁 I prefer them going their way… To the moon or Antarctica whichever is fine I suppose.
Freemage
Lol! That was so cute! And that line: “look at my abs”
Does this make anyone else want to watch Blade Runner?
I, for one, welcome our new glassy-eyed overlords.
I mean, overladies.
@FlyingMouse:
DING DING DING We have a winner!
Didn’t someone comment awhile back that blowup dolls frequently get returned to the manufacturer with horrifying damage (stabs, burns, gouges, slash marks)? I mean, far better to take out their aggressive misogyny on an inanimate object, but these guys aren’t going to be satisfied with that. It’s no fun enslaving and abusing something if the thing isn’t aware of it.
Ah, the potentially useful and rewarding uses of mind-destroying Lovecraftian horrors!
I guess it depends whether little kids find the gibbering funny or horrifying.
I want a girl with the full articulation
I want a girl who never sweats
I want a girl with silicone
And eyes that stare like marionettes
I want a girl with all the positions
Who’s cold and clammy
And prone to mold
She’s sitting on the show room
She’s lying on the bed
She’s swimming in the pool
So hand me that hook
I want a girl with a doll face and a hiiiiiiiiigh price tag
Thank you, Falconer.
Say, Howard, can I join you with the gibbering?
Argh argh argh
Some of ya’ll just don’t get it. Yeah, there are plenty of men who get off controlling women and who care deeply about their notch count. Some of these guys actually do find women to do those things with (duped or low self-esteem etc.) but there are plenty of men, like myself, who lack the good looks and social skill to attain what we want, which is regular sex with a beutiful, willing women.
Advanced sex bots would be the perfect solution. And yeah, the only people effected would be dudes like me and the unattractive women we occasionally slum it with (who will have less relationship options.) society won’t be devastated, but low-status men soul be a lot happier. I bet companies like GE would even get into financing the things
It’s creepy as hell, but really, the more these guys masturbate the better.
Now, I wonder if they’ll feel the girlfriend experience when they have to clean the robot up afterwards (for those who actually clean it up… ew).
To me, most of these dolls look so sad and disturbed. Is it just my imagination? Is that what’s supposed to be sexy? Is it their reaction to Heartiste?
You’re welcome, Fibinachi.
I didn’t know that; I find that really, really disturbing.
I really hope that isn’t true.
Although given that that’s essentially the premise of Deadgirl, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. I’d prefer it if real life didn’t imitate horror films, though.
Young hairless and sad seems to be the ideal doll. Blech
I guess they’re going for the lolicon market.
I’m not sure why, but I’ve been waiting for that movie to come up on here the last few weeks. I’m certain it’s a manosphere favorite.
Well, crap. I didn’t think of that either.
You’re probably right, bunnybunny, and my faith in humanity has just hit a new low.
I’m going to go re-read some Nausicaa so I feel better….
The dolls don’t actually look all that bad to me, but then, my fav doll as a kid was this: http://www.barbiecollector.com/shop/doll/oriental-barbie-doll-03262
The creepy factor for me is the size and bendiness. Eugh.