Over on Chateau Heartiste, everyone’s favorite racist pickup artist gasbag Heartiste excitedly reports on the a giant leap forward in the ongoing “Sexbot Revolution” – a Japanese company has a new lifesize sex doll that looks slightly less creepy than the creepy sex dolls now on the market.
Heartiste quotes a Daily Mail article on the dramatic new development, because where else would you turn for important news in science and technology other than the Daily Mail?
Orient Industry say their new range of dolls, made from high quality silicon, are so realistic there is very little to distinguish them from a real girlfriend at first glance. …
[A]dverts in the media boast that anyone who buys one will never want a real girlfriend again.
Thoughts in my head respond that the potential girlfriends of the world will not be heartbroken at the news that dudes who can’t tell the difference between a giant rubber doll and a real woman will be leaving the dating market.
Heartiste, however, is delighted, writing:
The dolls come with a “skeleton”, which means they can be arranged into any position. Any position.
I’m pretty sure you can already do that with Stretch Armstrong, at a fraction of the price.
The coming sexbot revolution — and make no mistake, it is coming — will have profound ramifications on social order and the functioning of the sexual market. To this day, people underestimate the effect the Pill had on Western society; multiply that effect by a thousand and you’ll get an idea of the subversive havoc mass consumable sexbots will wreak.
Of course, these new sex dolls aren’t, strictly speaking, sexbots. They’re inert human-sized, human-shaped sex toys that probably weigh more than me.
If you want to experience true interactive setbottery, you need to go virtual.
The video below shows just how advanced modern kissing simulators have become. Indeed, one would be hard pressed to tell the difference between the software demonstrated in this video and actual real world kissing.
The video below that, meanwhile, offers a glimpse of what technology has achieved in the realm of breast simulation, though sadly the current technology only supports one breast at a time. But make no mistake, the frighteningly wiggly and anatomically, er, improbable simulated boob revolution is coming! NSFW, obviously. And even weirder than the kissing video, if you can believe it.
Kissing:
Boobs:
Sad.
That’s just perfect. We’re finally get to the point where the assholes will all get their sexbots and leave normal people alone…
Oh hahahahaha who am I kidding.
But these guys are obviously better off with rubber dolls and computer simulations than with real women. Andwomen are better off without them. So every one should be very happy.
“The coming sexbot revolution — and make no mistake, it is coming — will have profound ramifications on social order and the functioning of the sexual market. To this day, people underestimate the effect the Pill had on Western society; multiply that effect by a thousand and you’ll get an idea of the subversive havoc mass consumable sexbots will wreak.”
Wait, I thought gym socks and playboys were already widely available…..
Are misogynists just immune to the uncanny valley effect or what?
If you say that, you don’t know the Manosphere. The mere thought of women enjoying themselves and accomplishing things makes their blood boil. They believe (or sell the belief) that the only thing keeping women’s rights alive in society is that women use their butts to convince men to do what they want.
When the “sexbot revolution” fails to make women unnecessary, they will moan and gnash their teeth as they have always done.
You know, I think most women would be only too delighted if these men removed themselves from the gene pool.
Unnecessary to whom? That’s one of the (many) things that a lot of men never seem to consider, that regardless of how men feel about us women are necessary to ourselves, and to each other.
Has anyone here seen the movie “Lars and the Real Girl”? My late sister loved that movie but it totally creeped me out. Of course Lars wasn’t a Heartiste type or anything–he’s quite a sympathetic character–but still, I had that squicky feeling.
Oh, that’s good to hear. Because you wouldn’t want to mistake them for a “casual acquaintance,” “close friend,” “fiancee,” or “wife” a first glance. All of those have distinguishing features from a “girlfriend.”
Wait… wut?
Listen, I love to play around with the uncanny valley as much as anybody. Stories of vampires who are less than human and crawl sideways across the wall while making hissing noises? I am all there.
These pictures fill me with dread and make me fear the long nights when those things could be watching me without me knowing.
…
It’s fine, I didn’t need to sleep anyway. Ever again.
If only a perfect, affordable sexbot would make these men enthusiastically withdraw from the dating scene!
I can’t think they’d be satisfied with only dolls, though. You can’t manipulate or degrade a sexbot, and having it off with a doll would do nothing for your alpha-manly notch count. Maybe they think this will be the ultimate threat to hold over women’s heads? “Sleep with me or I’ll buy a sexbot and you’ll never get any from me!” “If you won’t do [sex act woman doesn’t want], I’ll just buy a sexbot!”
[Cue women, digging through purses, flinging cushions from couches, setting up lemonade stand to help finance these purchases]
Ever seen the 1963 Mario Bava film Black Sabbath? The living corpse prop in the “One Drop of Water” segment (click here if you dare), one of the most terrifying creations ever to grace the screen, is less eerie to me than these dolls.
I love how even the Daily Mail, bastion of misogyny that it is, knows that these things are creepy as hell, and yet they remind Roissy of his “girlfriends”. Um…
Translation: In the future, Yul Brynner will be able to gun down James Brolin and then relentlessly chase Richard Benjamin through a series of amusement park settings.
OK. Do I want to click on either of those videos? My bold courage just isn’t as bold and dashing as usual today.
OTOH, I guess a totally unresponsive sex doll would produce less of an uncanny valley effect for users who’re accustomed to a complete lack of enthusiastic participation from their sexual partners.
Vaiyt: When the “sexbot revolution” fails to make women unnecessary, they will moan and gnash their teeth as they have always done.
Probably – but at the very least, they waste some of their time and money pursuing their Plastic Pollys rather than annoying normal people. It’s a win-win stuation really.
I don’t mean to disrespect anyone’s kink, but those vacant glassy stares are not bringing the hotness for me. They just look like big rubber dolls. I mean, if you put a string in their backs they could “talk’, but they’d still be dolls. I can appreciate the artistry involved in doll making and be somewhat fascinated at the combination of doll and sex toy. That’s interesting. It’s not revolutionary, though. In fact, it seems sort of cumbersome and fucking one that was more life like in appearance would still look like like fucking an unconscious or *shiver* dead woman. While I understand that there are people that does it for, I don’t think those kinks are so common that sex dolls are going to ever be that popular. First of all, they’re expensive. Vibrators and various other sex toys are cheaper and have been around for a while now. People use inanimate objects to get off all the time. Objects that thrill your tingly bits are pretty popular. But, those toys store easily, don’t ‘stare” soullessly at you and can be used with intimate partners.
Which prompts me to ask:
If these guys think improved sex toys for men (If you consider these dolls an improvement) will start some sort of anti-woman revolution, why do they think that vibrators and dildos have not caused an anti-man revolution in which straight and bi cis women to stop having sex and relationships with men? Since they seem to think women don’t care for sex, why do they think ladies buy all those sex toys? It doesn’t make sense.
@mildlymagnificent
They’re both dumb. I had to quit the second one because the loud whooping was getting annoying.
How is that a kissing simulator? Lips never meet.
I watched some of the video on the Daily Mail before it cut me off. From a technological standpoint, it’s amazing how even the fingers of the dolls are bendable. The child-like faces on some of them were kind of creepy but I guess it’s better that men with those inclinations go for the dolls instead of real children.
That “kissing simulator” is going to give me nightmares.
The tongue-up-nostril bit was my favorite part of the kissing simulator. Sexy.
‘Cause vibrators and dildos don’t have wallets to go along with them. Everyone knows that ladies are just trading sex for money and security from guys. /s
This bit is really quite good:
This would be a great line to put in an H.P. Lovecraft-style horror story. The repetition of “any position” makes me think that there’s some particular position that he’s particularly enthused about, and the deliberate vagueness gives me the uneasy sense that it’s a position so horrifying that I’d never be able to imagine it on my own. It could probably only be described using the coordinate system of some grotesque non-Euclidean space.
That said, the “any position” in the first sentence is just overblown marketing hype. I’d guess that there are very few positions in which the dolls could stand unsupported without falling over.
bunnybunny: Which just brings us back to the question of why the sex-toy business has such a heavily female market. While this might fit with the “All women are sluttymcsluts” crowd, it doesn’t really fly in the ‘women only have sex to get paid’ group.
Also, some highly amusing brainbleach: