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Red Pill dude: Women are "barely-sentient organic sex toys," insufficiently enthusiastic hobbyists.

Why can't women take up interesting hobbies, like men? (Note: this is a real book.)
Why can’t women take up interesting hobbies, like men? (Note: this is a real book.)

 

Now that he’s taken the Red Pill, the Reddittor who calls himself F9R recently announced, he’s “started seeing women as people rather than as magical beautiful goddess creatures.” That’s a good thing, right? Seeing women as actual human beings rather than some imaginary construct?

Well, not so much. Because it turns out that women are just terrible as human beings. No, it’s true! In a rambling comment in the Red Pill subreddit with more than 100 upvotes, F9R reports his scientific findings on the ladies of the world.

Now I’m disillusioned with them because women, for the most part, are boring people. 95% of them spend more time on their appearance than anything else, so as a result they never really have interesting hobbies or develop respectable skill in any particular area. This, in my opinion, could be one of the reasons that women have historically under-performed in almost every activity/industry.

Ah, that explains it! There haven’t been any women presidents, or Popes, or Chairmen of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, because the ladies are spending way too much time fussing with their lipstick and trying to find the exact right shade of eyeshadow.

There haven’t been more women inventors, not because women were denied education for thousands of years or because STEM fields are filled with angry manbabies who cry oppression whenever a woman comes near, but because women don’t have any fascinating, mentally stimulating hobbies like the Red Pillers of the world have. You know, like weight-lifting, or “Game,” or “saying terrible things about women online.”

So you swallow the pill, look around you, and see two groups of people. The first group, men, generally have no innate value and have had to work for everything in life. This is why the loser-winner spectrum is so broad for men; don’t work at all and you’ll end up homeless, work your ass off and you could make millions. The second group, women, have considerable innate value and don’t spend nearly as much time fighting to stay respectable, because they can always fall back on their female safety net; this is why there are almost no homeless women, but it’s rare to find a female CEO.

Ah, the old “female safety net.” You know, the free reserve of rent money and bon bons that all women have access to. Or does he mean “well, if worse comes to worst, you can always become a prostitute”

Not quite as easy to understand as the concept of an oppressive patriarchy, but demonstrably more accurate.

He’s got that right: it’s definitely not as easy to understand.

Tying this in with sex drive: an RP’er will have a hard time respecting plates or women they meet at the bar, because when looking at these women as people rather than as magical, mysterious women, the man will be underwhelmed by her bland personality and/or her obnoxious attempts to seem less bland by being a loud annoying cunt.

Still, if she’s got a nice pair of tits and a round ass, you can forgive her personality and lack of emotional development.

Gosh, I am shocked that a whiny manchild who refers to women as “plates” can’t find anything interesting about them besides their sexy bits.

But then let’s say you get her in bed, and you fuck her, and you’re having a good time. As soon as you finish and are in that refractory period, you look over at the person next to you and see them differently. The tits and ass lose a bit of their appeal since you just finished, and now you see the person next to you for the immature person they really are, and it’s like you’re lying in bed with a child.

Huh. Just a thought, but if you want to date mature women you might want to start by dating, you know, mature women, instead of creepily fixating on women and girls much younger than you are?

Or maybe what’s really happening is that when you look over at the woman you just had sex with, she’s looking at you with disgust, wondering how the hell she ended up in bed with such an asshole, and you rationalize away her disdain towards you as her being “immature.”

It’s weird as fuck and you start to question your life choices. Next time you go out to the bar, you remember that moment, and decide to raise your maturity standards a little. To your dismay, no women measure up.

I hate to tell you this, but I’m pretty sure there aren’t a lot of mature women who see your bitter, immature ass as much of a prize.

That’s the Catch-22 of the Red Pill. It gives you all the women you could ever want, but you see them for what they really are.

Yeah, I’m sure that’s the problem. You’re dizzy with success.

So you’ve got two choices: work on your game and improve yourself in order to keep fucking barely-sentient organic sex toys, or go your own way and focus on your life instead because the game just isn’t worth it to you.

The grapes barely-sentient organic sex toys are definitely sour.

Men who choose the former are Red Pill alphas, and men who choose the latter are MGTOW. Blue Pillers just ignore the game and continue to get screwed over because they have no idea what they’re doing.

Keep telling yourself that.

And seriously, go your own fucking way already. Just do it. The further away, the better. If you think of women as barely sentient organic sex toys, stick with the non-organic, non-sentient variety of sex toy and leave the actual human beings alone.

Oh, and speaking of needlepoint, here’s my favorite song about crocheting. I know I’ve posted it before, but I don’t care. It’s not every day I have such a good excuse to post Julie Ruin.

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cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

Actually I think persecutednerdspeak may be the most irritating of the manosphere dialects, though not the most horrifying (that would be wannabealphaspeak, Roosh in the other thread providing a perfect example).

NonServiam
NonServiam
6 years ago

Oh hold on, cassandrakitty: I have to disagree with you on something of utmost importance! Leggings ARE pants! (Well unless you’re using British English in which case, I guess they aren’t.) Now I firmly believed they weren’t pants for a long time but I have seen the light. Join us in the stretchy, comfy future of leggings as pants!

But yes, persecutednerdspeak is very annoying.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

Nope, if you have to wear something to cover your bum lest everyone in the world be able to read the label on your knickers, what you are wearing is not pants.

(I was once able to literally do just that when walking behind a young woman. That was awkward.)

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

Admittedly this has partly to do with what may be a local problem where people don’t seem to be able to distinguish between leggings and footless tights. As a hint, if you stick your hand in the leg and can see whether or not you’re wearing nail polish through the fabric, those are tights.

NonServiam
NonServiam
6 years ago

Okay, point taken. Leggings that you can’t see through though? Garments of the gods!

Falconer
6 years ago

I took that dog toy or sex toy quiz and got 9 out of 15.

I’m not sure how you make a yellow rubber ducky into a sex toy beyond the general principle that if I rub that on my joybits, it’s a sex toy.

@emilygoddess:

Or the time she and Margaret Cho pretended to rape a Katy Perry lookalike (link goes to a description and video) because “fuck Prop 8″.

Ah yes, that makes sense because … no, wait, it doesn’t. What does Katy Perry have to do with Prop 8? I am unwilling to follow your link, which probably explains it all, preferring to remain in the land of befuddled ignorance.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

Counterpoint – aren’t leggings that you can’t see through basically pajamas?

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

RE Palmer, there was also the EvelynEvelyn thing which, seriously, why did anyone think that was a good idea?

gilshalos
6 years ago

Um..I took that dog toy or sex toy quiz, and got 12/15.
I know nothing of either dog toys or sex toys, but clearly have good instincts! 😛

NonServiam
NonServiam
6 years ago

Counter-counterpoint: PJs are equally awesome and I would wear my super girl jammies to work, if I could.

Anarchonist
Anarchonist
6 years ago

Actually this is unlikely. The bro has probably chosen a hobby that only appeals to people suffering from testosterone poisoning, otherwise known as Testosterone Toxicity Syndrome, or TTS.

I think Howard Bannister might have been referring to the “fake geek girl” controversy. A lot of people (including publishers, sadly) still see superhero comics and video games as a thing for exclusively the young male demographic, and it is often expected that the products reflect the mind of a misogynistic young man.

Still, the video game market has seen positive development lately, probably due to developers slowly starting to realize that women and girls make up around half of the potential customer base, and that ignoring them and their voices might just be a frickin’ stupid idea. The misogynistic dudebros are freaking out because the “safe space for men”
(meaning a treehouse where boys may freely talk about how icky girls are) fantasy is falling apart.

Sure, a lot of the stuff that comes out still make use of the male gaze (a particular problem is the objectification and pointless sexualization of female characters), the prevalence of the (white) male power fantasy, and so forth, but with games like The Last of Us and particularly its DLC, Left Behind (which focuses completely on Ellie), we are shown actually strong and well-developed female characters as actually playable characters. One of my personal favorites is Telltale Games’s story-driven, ongoing The Walking Dead game series, whose protagonists have so far both been POC. Season 2 even focuses on an African-American girl surviving in the zombie apocalypse.

And that’s terrible. “You mean to say that an entire medium no longer exists to serve exclusively my needs? Pandering! Misandry! Political correctness gone mad!”

vaiyt
6 years ago

When you whitewash a character of color, it’s colorblindness. When you racebend a white character, it’s tokenism.

kittehserf MOD
kittehserf MOD
6 years ago

Join us in the stretchy, comfy future of leggings as pants!

Not me. Love wearing them, but I have too much stretchy, comfy bum to want it on display. Leggings are definitely the “way better than tights, tights” for me.

Counterpoint – aren’t leggings that you can’t see through basically pajamas?

Only when they’ve got seriously saggy.

Ally S
6 years ago

Tight clothes are always a no-no for me. I’m content with maintaining a careless-butch-dyke-with-oversized-clothes look forever, even after the hormones do all of their work.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

I’ve met plenty of stylishly dressed butches whose look is anything but careless.

Ally S
6 years ago

I guess careless isn’t how I’d personally describe it. It’s mainly a self-depreciating descriptor of how a lot of other people have berated my appearance, like my dad. Maybe carefree is better? IDK.

kittehserf MOD
kittehserf MOD
6 years ago

I’d never have thought of oversized clothes as a butch-dyke look at all – more just a thing men wear.

Neil
Neil
6 years ago

“There haven’t been any women presidents, or Popes, or Chairmen of the Federal Reserve”

The current Chair of the Federal Reserve is a woman named Janet Yellen.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

I think the more dapper butches probably spend more time on their hair alone than I spend all my preparations to go out combined.

Kim
Kim
6 years ago

I’m not sure how you make a yellow rubber ducky into a sex toy beyond the general principle that if I rub that on my joybits, it’s a sex toy.

They vibrate, they’re waterproof and can be kept in plain view in the bathroom.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

Rubber duckies vibrate now? I guess technology really has moved on since I was a kid.

kittehserf MOD
kittehserf MOD
6 years ago

I didn’t even have a rubber ducky. I had a hand-me-down rubber seal! ::cries::

Kim
Kim
6 years ago

Counterpoint – aren’t leggings that you can’t see through basically pajamas?

Well, the leggings I wear are either running pants or yoga pants. They go better I think when worn as part of an exercise outfit than as a fashion thing, but leggings are definitely pants.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

I had a rubber Jaws, because my parents had a weird sense of humor. And yes, both they and I would make the Jaws music while playing with it.

Shadow
Shadow
6 years ago

I’m glad I’m not the only one for whom Jaws is a childhood touchstone (it’s a teen/late preteen touchtone for most people I know). When I think of my childhood I think of Barney songs, Kideo songs (South African kid’s show), the Jaws music, T1000 and “Hi! My name’s Chucky!! Wanna play?”. I was more emotionally ready for some of these things than others 😛

Shadow
Shadow
6 years ago

Also cherished childhood memory: sneaking peeks into the living room while my dad watched Candyman and being reduced to a gibbering mess that spent months going into the washroom convinced that if T1000 doesn’t come through the floor and get me, Candyman’ll come through the mirror and get me. I think I set records for shortest time spent in the bathroom.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

Did you have Star Wars toys too? I had both Darth Vader and Princess Leia bubble baths – you unscrewed the heads to open them.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

For a while I was convinced that when you flushed the toilet monsters would come out and try to kill you, so I would flush, run away, wait a few minutes, and then cautiously creep back in to wash my hands. Kids are funny.

Shadow
Shadow
6 years ago

Sadly no, but that didn’t stop us from doing oh so many reenactions. We used to get all sorts of thick branches that stood in for light sabers, swords and quarterstaffs. The backyard went back and forth from the Death Star to Sherwood forest so quickly, I’m sure we caused the Doctor to go green with envy.

Shadow
Shadow
6 years ago

I used to finish really fast, flush the toilet and run to the door and open. Then I’d start some inane conversation with my parents while I washed my hands because I thought that as long as I’m having a conversation with them nothing can happen, and I didn’t want them to know that I was scared because I wanted to keep hanging with my older friends and watch movies with them 😛

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

My dad let me watch Jaws and then took me to the beach the next day, I’m pretty sure that if he’d realized I was doing the run to avoid the toilet monster thing he’d have thought it was hilarious (and kept letting me watch scary movies).

Shadow
Shadow
6 years ago

My dad may or may not have been alright with me continuing to watch movies that scared me (he was a little lax when it came to some things), but my mum woulda put the kibosh on that quick fast. She was/is very protective. Her reaction when she found out that I’d watched Child’s Play… legendary.

I also spent a part of my childhood constantly checking cupboard doors to see if blood was coming out of them thanks to It.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

My mum gave me Stephen King books to read when I was 8, so…

kittehserf MOD
kittehserf MOD
6 years ago

I definitely had a sheltered life. Earliest adult book I can recall reading was Murder Most Royal (though anything about Anne Boleyn and Catherine Howard is going to get gory sooner or later).

NonServiam
NonServiam
6 years ago

I avoided Jaws. I was already scared of deep water. More so for the jellyfish, but why add sharks to my nightmares?

And my mum has such a headache finding me age/level appropriate books. She really tried to give me books that wouldn’t scar me for life, but it seemed everything she picked up had an animal die or someone become orphaned. Honestly, after a point, just letting me read whatever seemed easier.

NonServiam
NonServiam
6 years ago

uh, HAD not has. My mum doesn’t buy my books for me anymore.

Well, if Easons has a sale…

kittehserf MOD
kittehserf MOD
6 years ago

Jaws was shown at my high school (this was within a few years of it coming out). Not sure what they were thinking!

kittehserf MOD
kittehserf MOD
6 years ago

Speaking of childhood books (well, not quite for most of us here), anyone seen these latter-day adventures of Harry Potter?

http://realmbeyondsight.blogspot.com.au/2014/07/art-set-shows-harry-potters-seven-new.html?showComment=1407922761675#c3891793429058793688

Falconer
6 years ago

They vibrate, they’re waterproof and can be kept in plain view in the bathroom.

Ah. Thank you. I didn’t know they vibrated.

Re: Jaws, when I was little, I didn’t like the deep end of the indoor pool at the YMCA because 1) it was way over my 3-foot-tall head, and 2) I was convinced it had sharks.

@cassandrakitty:

Did you have Star Wars toys too?

Oh man, never enough. I think we kept a tattered old Sears catalog for years so I could fantasize about all the action figures and toys. FTR, I was a bit too young to see the original trilogy in theaters, you can bet I jumped at the chance to see the prequels. Despite that, I am champing at the bit for Episode VII.

I think all of our old Kenner dolls action figures got busted. I tended to keep them in my bed and roll over on them in the night, which would snap their heads clean off. I think I busted at least four that way. My Masters of the Universe dolls were made of sterner stuff.

And then a bully at school busted all the limbs off my brother’s X-Wing Pilot Luke figure.

emilygoddess - MOD
emilygoddess - MOD
6 years ago

I’m not sure how you make a yellow rubber ducky into a sex toy beyond the general principle that if I rub that on my joybits, it’s a sex toy.

It’s a vibrator shaped like a rubber duckie.

hellkell
hellkell
6 years ago

I read Stephen King at 8 too. My parents were pretty lax towards books and movies when I was a kid.

I used to think there was a vampire (why that who knows) behind the shower curtain, so I’d take a careful peek before doing my business.

Falconer
6 years ago

I can think of three horror movies that really freaked me out.

My brother and I noped out of watching John Carpenter’s The Thing so very fast.

I freaked out at Arachnophobia; I was the only one of my family to get that scared. And these days I love spiders.

And It was just … no. Not even for Tim Curry. No. I don’t think I ate at a McDonald’s for a while after watching the first part of that mini series.

emilygoddess - MOD
emilygoddess - MOD
6 years ago

I used to think there was a vampire (why that who knows) behind the shower curtain, so I’d take a careful peek before doing my business.

It was a velociraptor for me. Jurassic Park really did a number on my eight-year-old psyche (while still being one of my favorite movies to this day).

Skye
Skye
6 years ago

Oddly enough, Jurassic Park was my first big movie disappointment. I’ve always been into dinosaurs and had read the book multiple times (& discussed it with my science teacher). I just couldn’t get why they needed to switch the kids ages and aspects of their personalities. I was young enough to expect the film to be an almost literal translation of the book.

Lea
Lea
6 years ago

I loved to read Steven King starting at about 11. The first book I read was Christine and I loved it. The Poodle Man from The Shining scared me as a kid. So creepy.

It’s been a long time since I read Jurassic Park. I did enjoy the movie. It scared me. I was riding in the back of a truck down a gravel road with some friends one night when I got the willies from imaging that a T-Rex might come crashing out of the trees any minute. When I see geese in the park and hear them honking, I still think of the Velociraptors from the film.

LBT
LBT
6 years ago

RE: kirbywarp

I had no idea you were so tall! Who knew they made Bootsy that big!

RE: cassandrakitty

I quite like the thought of Woody typing away and then screeching in frustration when yet again it isn’t published because he just can’t pass the moderation test David set him.

Warms the cockles of my soul, it does. Oh, Woody. Hoisted upon your own idiotic petard.

Actually I think persecutednerdspeak may be the most irritating of the manosphere dialects

OH GOD I FUCKING HATE PERSECUTEDNERDSPEAK. Seriously, I’ve actually discovered that I can not stand that fucking bullshit. (In no small part because my rapist and a handful of other creepers were all fluent in that.) Never have regretted my choice to ditch the straight nerd scene.

there was also the EvelynEvelyn thing

Oh Jason Webley, WHY? I was never much into Palmer, but I liked you! WHY? *weep*

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

I was scared of Candyman as a kid although not as an adult.

The Descent is scary as an adult because I’m a bit claustrophobic. I also admit to side-eying my TV a lot for awhile after first seeing The Ring.

Those are the only things that scared me even though I started reading and watching horror at about 8.

sparky
sparky
6 years ago

When I was about 4 or 5, Poltergeist scared the hell out of me, but in my defense we were watching it during a thunderstorm and the power went out about halfway through, and I freaked out. And the remake of The Blob, which is a really stupid movie(the remake, not the original. The original has a certain corny B-movie charm). I used to lay awake at night staring at the shadows in th curtains, afraid that the Blob was going to come crashing through the window and eat me. I swear those shadows moved.

As an adult, the movie that gave me the willies was Event Horizon.

I love The Descent, it’s one of my favorites.

cloudiah
6 years ago

I saw An American Werewolf in London when I was 13 and was terrified of werewolves for about 6 months after that.

I also went through a phase where I was terrified of being home alone, after I was old enough that my mom could go out without getting me a sitter. When it came time to go to bed, I would construct these elaborate networks of string between my windows and doors, that would supposedly prevent anyone from getting into my bedroom without at least waking me up. (Kid logic!) Of course the only person who ever tried to get into my bedroom was my mom, checking on me when she got home. It never prevented her from opening the door, and it never worked to wake me up, it just left my mother wondering “What is it with this kid and string?!!?”