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Red Pill dude: Women are "barely-sentient organic sex toys," insufficiently enthusiastic hobbyists.

Why can't women take up interesting hobbies, like men? (Note: this is a real book.)
Why can’t women take up interesting hobbies, like men? (Note: this is a real book.)

 

Now that he’s taken the Red Pill, the Reddittor who calls himself F9R recently announced, he’s “started seeing women as people rather than as magical beautiful goddess creatures.” That’s a good thing, right? Seeing women as actual human beings rather than some imaginary construct?

Well, not so much. Because it turns out that women are just terrible as human beings. No, it’s true! In a rambling comment in the Red Pill subreddit with more than 100 upvotes, F9R reports his scientific findings on the ladies of the world.

Now I’m disillusioned with them because women, for the most part, are boring people. 95% of them spend more time on their appearance than anything else, so as a result they never really have interesting hobbies or develop respectable skill in any particular area. This, in my opinion, could be one of the reasons that women have historically under-performed in almost every activity/industry.

Ah, that explains it! There haven’t been any women presidents, or Popes, or Chairmen of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, because the ladies are spending way too much time fussing with their lipstick and trying to find the exact right shade of eyeshadow.

There haven’t been more women inventors, not because women were denied education for thousands of years or because STEM fields are filled with angry manbabies who cry oppression whenever a woman comes near, but because women don’t have any fascinating, mentally stimulating hobbies like the Red Pillers of the world have. You know, like weight-lifting, or “Game,” or “saying terrible things about women online.”

So you swallow the pill, look around you, and see two groups of people. The first group, men, generally have no innate value and have had to work for everything in life. This is why the loser-winner spectrum is so broad for men; don’t work at all and you’ll end up homeless, work your ass off and you could make millions. The second group, women, have considerable innate value and don’t spend nearly as much time fighting to stay respectable, because they can always fall back on their female safety net; this is why there are almost no homeless women, but it’s rare to find a female CEO.

Ah, the old “female safety net.” You know, the free reserve of rent money and bon bons that all women have access to. Or does he mean “well, if worse comes to worst, you can always become a prostitute”

Not quite as easy to understand as the concept of an oppressive patriarchy, but demonstrably more accurate.

He’s got that right: it’s definitely not as easy to understand.

Tying this in with sex drive: an RP’er will have a hard time respecting plates or women they meet at the bar, because when looking at these women as people rather than as magical, mysterious women, the man will be underwhelmed by her bland personality and/or her obnoxious attempts to seem less bland by being a loud annoying cunt.

Still, if she’s got a nice pair of tits and a round ass, you can forgive her personality and lack of emotional development.

Gosh, I am shocked that a whiny manchild who refers to women as “plates” can’t find anything interesting about them besides their sexy bits.

But then let’s say you get her in bed, and you fuck her, and you’re having a good time. As soon as you finish and are in that refractory period, you look over at the person next to you and see them differently. The tits and ass lose a bit of their appeal since you just finished, and now you see the person next to you for the immature person they really are, and it’s like you’re lying in bed with a child.

Huh. Just a thought, but if you want to date mature women you might want to start by dating, you know, mature women, instead of creepily fixating on women and girls much younger than you are?

Or maybe what’s really happening is that when you look over at the woman you just had sex with, she’s looking at you with disgust, wondering how the hell she ended up in bed with such an asshole, and you rationalize away her disdain towards you as her being “immature.”

It’s weird as fuck and you start to question your life choices. Next time you go out to the bar, you remember that moment, and decide to raise your maturity standards a little. To your dismay, no women measure up.

I hate to tell you this, but I’m pretty sure there aren’t a lot of mature women who see your bitter, immature ass as much of a prize.

That’s the Catch-22 of the Red Pill. It gives you all the women you could ever want, but you see them for what they really are.

Yeah, I’m sure that’s the problem. You’re dizzy with success.

So you’ve got two choices: work on your game and improve yourself in order to keep fucking barely-sentient organic sex toys, or go your own way and focus on your life instead because the game just isn’t worth it to you.

The grapes barely-sentient organic sex toys are definitely sour.

Men who choose the former are Red Pill alphas, and men who choose the latter are MGTOW. Blue Pillers just ignore the game and continue to get screwed over because they have no idea what they’re doing.

Keep telling yourself that.

And seriously, go your own fucking way already. Just do it. The further away, the better. If you think of women as barely sentient organic sex toys, stick with the non-organic, non-sentient variety of sex toy and leave the actual human beings alone.

Oh, and speaking of needlepoint, here’s my favorite song about crocheting. I know I’ve posted it before, but I don’t care. It’s not every day I have such a good excuse to post Julie Ruin.

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kirbywarp
kirbywarp
6 years ago

What’s that pizzacato music they keep playing in the background of the profile? I swear I’ve heard the same music in 30 different places, always when the subject being filmed is supposed to be comical.

Bina
Bina
6 years ago

*A book is in the works.

>applause!<

Great takedown, and made so much more sense than the OP's stream of drivel, too.

He’s basically the original Dos Equis man

OMG, you’re right! The bit about Sirhan Sirhan had me jacking my jawbone up off the floor. That dude’s been everywhere. No wonder his name looked familiar. I’ve probably read several things about him and just never made that connection until now.

And I bet he could metaphorically wipe the floor with Elam’s troll ass, too.

Bina
Bina
6 years ago

Re the height thing: I know a guy who’s six-eight, too. He’s a Young Communist. Could not be more UNlike Elam if he tried. Really sweet guy.

emilygoddess - MOD
emilygoddess - MOD
6 years ago

Is it possible that this guy is gay/asexual and in denial?

Stop.

Too late. You did, by assuming that gay and asexual people are actually just misogynists. Gee, mister, I ain’t NEVER heard THAT bit of homophobic horseshit before!

Seriously, who cares who this asshole wants to fuck? He’s a misogynist. He deserves nothing but scorn.

Right? Plus it’s basically just a way of excusing misogynist men, and it’s a fucking gross one, since it implies that the only reason not to hate women is because you want to fuck them. And yeah, framing gayness as a negative (aversion to the “opposite” sex) rather than a positive (attraction to your own sex) doesn’t remotely help gay people.

JiJi Yuli
6 years ago

Those Vice and MJ pieces… trying hard to not sound biased I see… But if you are objective, how can you read MRM blogs/twitters or talk to them and not wonder why it’s named “Men’s Rights” instead of “anti-feminism”? Anyone can see it barely addresses any legit men’s issues (who cares about comforting rapists/pedophiles/abusers really) and when it does, they try to resolve it with anti-feminism.
This is the first thing any objective person would find fishy.
The second is how you can’t not notice their bias and fucked-up logic. They spend lots of time victim-blaming women, saying they should feel responsible for everything in this world, honey badgers insulting rape victims for being “dumb drunk whores” or not being careful enough (waiiit, isn’t fearing and avoiding men misandry?) and crying for rapists spending a few years in jail… And for some reason, they want you to see men as victims? But then, shouldn’t they be blaming men too for being victims? Blaming “dumb drunk rapists”, telling them to feel responsible? All of this is really dishonest.
If you write about someone implying male criminals are victims, but females (victims or criminals) are always criminals and you see nothing wrong, then you’ve already swallowed the red pill and have a problem with women.

I’d like to see how those same people who try to look objective would write about female issues after writing this… I mean, you can’t look clever if you cry over everyone but shit on women’s issues…

I actually don’t read Vice that much, but I assumed they were somehow “different” after reading some kinda feminist articles…

tesformes
6 years ago

Lea, what’s wrong with Amanda Palmer? I love her stuff, she’s incredibly powerful. And I like that she doesn’t give a shit about shaving her underarms, nice little fuck you to the patriarchy that just makes her so much cooler in my eyes.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

@ GrumpyOldMan, Howard, and Flying Mouse

That was a meatspace person rather than an online person, unfortunately, and yes, I did indeed boggle. And then he wouldn’t shut up about it and kept bugging me for reasons why not, none of which were acceptable to him. I feel like when it comes to anything even vaguely related to sex “because I don’t want to” should always be a good enough answer. I’ve encountered lots of pseudo-feminist guys like that, most of whom seem to either have drifted into feminism from other leftist movements or to have read something about sex-positive feminism and interpreted it as “this means I get to fuck whoever I want whenever I want, right?”. The latter group is the bane of so many feminist groups, and once you have one it’s really hard to get rid of him, because he has seen the shining light of a future in which every woman is sexually available to him on his terms! And now he’s chasing it like the Holy Grail, never having noticed how incompatible both the “every woman” and the “on his terms” bits are with any version of feminism.

WTF is going on with Mother Jones? Since when do they publish puff pieces for anyone, much less a group of misogynists who just happen to all be women?

@ LBT

Yeah, the reason I brought up meatpacking earlier is that’s a job that I really shouldn’t ever attempt to do. Even if we could make it safer (which we should do, like we should do with all jobs) I would still hate every second of it and find it really traumatizing (and employees who curl up in the corner crying aren’t great for productivity either), and I can’t imagine that the average vegan would cope with it any better than I would. So yeah, I could never do this job does not equal I hate or look down on the people who do this job.

In terms of what dudebro in the OP wants, he wants a woman who doesn’t exist. Or rather, a teenage girl who doesn’t exist. In the extremely unlikely event that such a woman/girl did exist she certainly wouldn’t want his creepy ass, so…

Ally S
6 years ago

9/15 on the sex toy quiz. I expected to do better. *shrugs*

vaiyt
6 years ago

Elam being six foot eight only makes him look creepier, with that ogrish face and perpetual apopletic grimace of his.

vaiyt
6 years ago

But if you are objective, how can you read MRM blogs/twitters or talk to them and not wonder why it’s named “Men’s Rights” instead of “anti-feminism”?

For the same reason Focus on The Family is not named Focus on Hating Any Family That Doesn’t Fit Our Model.

kittehserf MOD
kittehserf MOD
6 years ago

There should be a rule for dudes who think feminism is the sexual revolution aka. women being shamed for No as much as for Yes: if they want to play that game, they have to dress in 60s gear, including the haircuts – preferably something at least Sgt Pepperish if not outright hippie clothes. That way they’ll at least be decorative, and women will be warned what to expect from them.

It all comes down to “do what you like as long as I get to shove my dick into who I want, when I want” with too many guys.

Anarchonist
Anarchonist
6 years ago

I love these takedowns.

@Aunt Edna:

Misandry! Delicious, delicious misandry…

Seriously, that was perfect.

@Fibinachi:

Misandtree!

Somebody had to say it. I am truly sorry.

Fibinachi
6 years ago

Don’t be. I was desperately hoping someone would vocalize what I was saying out loud to myself as I was writing that.

GrumpyOldMan
6 years ago

@Casssandrakitty: So it’s all about I think feminism means I’m gonna get laid, just like it was with guys who were cheerleading for sexual freedom back in the 60s. My fellow keepers of the Y chromosome are sooooo depressingly predictable.

kittehserf MOD
kittehserf MOD
6 years ago

Brain bleach! Let’s have another round of Elvis the Siamese.

http://youtu.be/o0jj-SIVw5A

Aunt Edna
Aunt Edna
6 years ago

Thanks, y’all. F9R’s rant turns out to be strangely inspirational (though instead of moral standards, I should have said “maturity standards” — those things one finds and raises in bars).

Misandree, misantree, oh, how alike are thee.

Which brings me to the philosophical problem of the day:

If a man falls in the forest* and there is no woman around to blame for it, is it misandree or misantree?

*Quite possibly because he did not see the forest for the trees, so preoccupied he was with pursuing his most interesting hobby: whining about the evil wimminz.

Lea
Lea
6 years ago

Amanda Palmer has done thing like request musicians work for free at her shows and she agreed to do the Flaming Lips video after the dispute with Erykah Badu. Generally, I really like her, but she’s not without flaws.

Aunt Edna
Aunt Edna
6 years ago

Speaking of wisdom that is not limited to only sex (or lack of it, to be precise), there is so much one can learn from Teh (ir)Rational Menz of the ‘sphere.

For example, stuff about the evolution of democracy (courtesy of Dalrock’s most recent thread “What’s modern marriage for?” Nothing, as it turns out; or more accurately, a destruction of democracy because feewings):

====

TFH says:
August 11, 2014 at 9:05 pm

‘But the meme of the woman working to put her husband through medical school, only to have him dump her on the streets and marry his hot young nurse as soon as he’s making good money? Vanishingly rare, even in patriarchal times, as far as I can tell; and yet the fear of that scenario happening to some woman somewhere requires an entire system of punitive damages against virtually any man who winds up in divorce court.’

Another reason why democracy has a life-cycle, after which is is invariably followed by a ‘feminist’ police state + goddess cult. There is no other possible outcome of democracy given enough time.

jf12 says:
August 11, 2014 at 10:39 pm

Modern marriage is for the final solution of the canonization of women’s feewings. All of Western society for the past half-century has been dedicated to the proposition that a woman’s fickle feewings define what is good, what is right, what is true for *everyone*.

A man is doing it right, if a woman likes what he is doing. Otherwise, he’s doing it wrong, even if he’s still doing what she usually likes.

It used to be said that history was written by the victors. Nowadays history is written by whims of the fashion police.

TFH says:
August 11, 2014 at 11:12 pm

‘All of Western society for the past half-century has been dedicated to the proposition that a woman’s fickle feewings define what is good, what is right, what is true for *everyone*.’

Again, this only happens due to democracy, since politicians have to get votes, and women’s votes can be bought with very well-established, simple tactics that never cease to be effective.

Democracy does good things in the early stages, but it has a life-cycle. The nature of the female mind simply makes democracy unviable after 3-4 generations.”

====

Yep, folks, you’ve read it on Dalrock first. The life-cycle of democracy is limited to 4 generations max, cuz female mind and those unfortunate things called feewings, which are alien to — or at least beneath — Teh (ir)Rational Menz of the ‘sphere (as is aptly demonstrated in the above exchange).

The next, and last, step, right ahead of us: the feminist police state + goddess cult (I hope they have cute uniforms). After that, darkness.

Although… there may be hope yet.

On a neighboring and equally entertaining blog, empathologism http://www.donotlink.com/b4n5, there is a melodramatic post titled “Worth it?” which illustrates, in feewings-inducing pictures, the destruction of man and civilization (yes, the wimminz are responsible — how didya know?).

Anyway, one of the commenters underneath the OP makes an astute observation on how the world turns:

====

Snowy on August 11, 2014 at 11:34 am said:

“(…) it makes sense that so many wars may have extreme feminism and the destruction of men’s sexuality as their root cause. I hadn’t fully comprehended till recently how sex with women was the soldier’s booty (pardon the pun). Such action certainly seems just in the overall scheme of things. I know it doesn’t fit with God’s plan for sex only within the confines of marriage, but I can understand it now. Thanks Empath and Eric for opening my eyes that much further. I wonder if Genghis Kahn’s era was a culture of extreme feminism?”‘

====

Now that’s some excellent wondering, innit. Because it turns out that Genghis Kahn (whose real name was Ginger Kahn-Dworzak) was Andrea Dworkin’s great-great-great-etc grandmother and creator of the largest feminist police state in the history of the world. The only reason it did not spread across the whole globe is that Ginger’s feewings got hurt when the scented candles she ordered from The World Market Online catalog did not smell misandric enough and she decided to throw in the towel* (you know how fickle wimminz are).

The moral of this history lesson is that there may be hope beyond the feminist police state yet. A tiny whiff of it, if the candle-makers get the scent just right.

Thanks, the ‘sphere, for keeping us enlightened, entertained, and ever-so-hopeful at the same time!

*Made from hair of the millions of men whose sexuality she wantonly destroyed.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

As an occasional member of the fashion police (nope, sorry, leggings still aren’t pants) I’m unsure what we have to do with divorce courts and what happens in them.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

Also, the bit about how armies raping women is part of some sort of extreme feminist scheme reinforces in my mind the belief that none of these men have ever actually spoken to a woman in any more depth than is required to order coffee, pick up the dry cleaning, and so on.

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

TIL that male soldiers raping the women of communities they’ve conquered is somehow misandry.

WTF? No matter how much time I spend here, I still can’t comprehend MRA logic.

Oh, and shut up Woody. I know you’re furiously typing bullshit even though we can’t see it.

Aunt Edna
Aunt Edna
6 years ago

@cassandrakitty:

“Also, the bit about how armies raping women is part of some sort of extreme feminist scheme reinforces in my mind the belief that none of these men have ever actually spoken to a woman in any more depth than is required to order coffee, pick up the dry cleaning, and so on.”

Also, that they are bad at brain.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

I quite like the thought of Woody typing away and then screeching in frustration when yet again it isn’t published because he just can’t pass the moderation test David set him.

Aunt Edna
Aunt Edna
6 years ago

I suspect the fashion police is part of the feminist police state (Feminist Fashion State, or FFS for short). Frivorce is one of the means used by the FFS to maintain its hegemony.

kittehserf MOD
kittehserf MOD
6 years ago

If a man falls in the forest* and there is no woman around to blame for it, is it misandree or misantree?

Depends. Has he hurt a tree doing it? Is it a Manly Man Tree or a mere womantree? Did he fall because a squirrel threw nuts at him?

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

I presume it’s miniskirtree if the fashion police are involved. Miniskirts are automatically misandry if they don’t come with an offer of a blowjob.

thermonictriode
6 years ago

Without getting into the whole “women don’t have hobbies” thing (because I CAN’T EVENNNN), it’s worth noting that “worrying about your appearance” isn’t necessarily an unproductive use of one’s time. At the deep end of cosmetics and beauty, there’s a lot of fascinating stuff going on. Nutrition, biology, multiple branches of chemistry; psychology, art and design, colour theory… I’ve come across a fairly well-substantiated school of thought which holds that the Ancient Egyptians’ mindblowingly sophisticated corpus of knowledge relating to wet chemistry may well have got its start due to the demand for a really good blue eyeshadow.

As hobbies go, one could do worse, is my point.

marinerachel
marinerachel
6 years ago

My investment in my appearance is entirely superficial. It’s still worthwhile. The way I’m perceived and treated without my eyebrows plucked or my hair blowdryed, when I’m dressed in jeans that sag at the ass and am not wearing a bra is TERRIBLE. Yeah, I get criticized when I wear makeup too (then I’m shallow and dumb and boring and deceptive, etc.) so, really, I can’t win but I lose less when I “play the game”, shave my legs, put on a bra and wear some lip gloss. The fact doing so affords me better professional and educational opportunities demonstrates investing in one’s appearance IS worthwhile, even if it’s only because people are shallow.

I still don’t bother to a large extent, really. I shave my legs a few times a month, keep my pit hair short, pluck my eyebrows, try to manage my acne and blowdry my bangs for work. When I’m not working, I do whatever I feel like. Unless I have a do to attend, I don’t bother with makeup or shaving my pits or day-of leg shaving or styling my hair extensively. Unless, of course, I’m in that sort of mood in which case I of course indulge. I do often enjoy painting my toenails.

Harlan
Harlan
6 years ago

Classic Rosie Grier moment, brought to you by evil, tear-drinking Marlo Thomas:

Arctic Ape
Arctic Ape
6 years ago

And what the fuck is a “female safety net”? Is it a raft of maxipads, stitched together with tampons? How the hell does it work, and if it is real, where do I go to buy one?

It saves you from drowning, not because it floats but because it sucks the ocean dry.

Bloomfield, who lives somewhere in Canada (she keeps her location and the names of her three children secret to shield them from harassment)

“Somewhere in Canada” sounds amusingly vague, since geographically most of Canada is wilderness. Bloomfield probably lives in or near a city, but now I imagine her hiding from feminists in a cabin somewhere along the Manitoba-Nunavut border.

Re: Paul Elam being really as big as he claims. Seriously? I’m surprised he doesn’t blame the lack of supersized men’s clothes on feminism.

Re: sex toy vs. dog toy

I have, uh, found out that dog toys can be potentially used as human toys. Probably many dogs have found out the reverse, too.

sparky
sparky
6 years ago

A hobby is something one does in one’s leisure time for fun. As such, it can’t really be said to be unproductive because the whole point is to derive enjoyment from it. As long as a person is enjoying their hobby, that hobby is productive.

Just because you don’t enjoy a certain hobby or pastime doesn’t mean it’s worthless, it just means different people have different interests. I think I learned this lesson when I was kindergarten.

MRAs could probably all do with a kindergarten refresher course, now that I think about it.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

At the risk of becoming a Manboobz pariah I will now admit a terrible thing…I don’t like knitting. Or sewing, or crafting of any kind really. I will never make with my own hands anything that can be worn by other people or sold on Etsy. It’s just not my thing. I love both clothes and jewelry, but making them myself? Not for me.

And yet! I don’t regard those hobbies as worthless or as a waste of people’s time. If the person enjoys doing the thing then clearly their time is not wasted, since they’re enjoying what they’re doing, and a lot of the traditional womanly hobbies that dudes like this look down on (like knitting) produce things that are useful to and much appreciated by other people, or that are a source of pleasure to the person who made them. So basically the only reason these hobbies are being slotted into the “useless” category is that they’re traditionally associated with women.

I bet these guys don’t think that puttering around on cars is a useless hobby.

Kim
Kim
6 years ago

They probably think body-building is a perfectly valid* and manly hobby, which has nothing to do with working on your appearance.

*which it is of course

Lea
Lea
6 years ago

Sure, women have no hobbies. That’s why Pintrest isn’t a thing. Nope, it doesn’t exist. If it did, it wouldn’t be predominately frequented by women.

thermonictriode
6 years ago

All the female-ID’d people I know seem to have fantastic hobbies, ranging from engineering ad electronics-related fun, to roller derby and LARPing with homemade (foam) swords, to brewing and distilling, to more traditionally feminine occupations like gardening, knitting and jewellery-making. Given that many of them have also parlayed a passtime into lucrative sideline, or even into a small business that becomes their primary job, “unproductive” is hardly the mot juste.

But then we know all that. I suspect that many of the redpillers do too; it’s hard for me to imagine that a person could walk through a world full of women doing all these things and more (and then posting about it all online, let’s not forget), and yet not _notice_ any of that stuff going on. I used to try and assume good faith and take assertions like “women don’t have productive hobbies” at face value; these days, I tend to parse them more as deliberate misrepresentation. By saying something manifestly ridiculous like this, MRAs get to smear women in the eyes of less experienced or more credulous males; they also get to waste the time and energy of any feminist or ally who happens to rise to their bait.

(…Oh, and fire spinning. I seem to know quite a few female fire spinners. Technically I guess that doesn’t produce much of anything except large amounts of concentrated AWESOME.)

Howard Bannister
6 years ago

The funny thing is, I know what my guy friends do in their leisure time, and I know what my gal friends do in their leisure time.

And it’s not really all that different.

Sure, some of the guys are manly, manly men who follow all the sports teams. But, um, I don’t want to shock anybody here, but did you know women are into sports too? Sometimes not the same sports–but, nevertheless, sports.

The same for every hobby I can think of, right down the line. People like things, and the gender lines of who’s ‘supposed’ to like what are rarely all that important to the people enjoying the things.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

What happens when an evil feminist who also has no productive hobbies because she’s a woman likes watching hockey with her husband so they can both swear at the referees over bad calls? I’m just curious which one of us is supposed to apologize for making misogynists cry.

vaiyt
6 years ago

Sometimes not the same sports–but, nevertheless, sports.

Sorry, only MAN games count as sports. If enough women start following a MAN game, it becomes a lady game and gets its sport card removed.

emilygoddess - MOD
emilygoddess - MOD
6 years ago

Amanda Palmer has done thing like request musicians work for free at her shows and she agreed to do the Flaming Lips video after the dispute with Erykah Badu. Generally, I really like her, but she’s not without flaws.

There was also the time she suggested it was possible to donate to the KKK ~ironically~. (Excellent summary/response post). Or the time she and Margaret Cho pretended to rape a Katy Perry lookalike (link goes to a description and video) because “fuck Prop 8”.

I’m not trying to shame anyone for liking her! I like some problematic things, too, as I think we all do. Those just seem like things people would want to know about.

DJG
DJG
6 years ago

I miss the roller derby of my youth – but at least World Team Tennis is still around for egalitarianism.

Anarchonist
Anarchonist
6 years ago

@cassandrakitty:

Well, your husband is obviously a loser beta for not making you stay in the kitchen (-100 points*). Emotional feeeeemales can’t understand complicated, logical hobbies such as hockey, so you’re doing it wrong even if you do the exact same things as him (-100 points). In addition, you’re a woman (-500 points), and also a feminist (-eleventybajilliontrillion points). Your husband gets a hundred bonus points for being a man, so he breaks even at 0 points, while you land firmly on minus eleventybajilliontrillionsixhundred points. The misogynists weep, and it’s all your fault.

Unless your husband is also a feminist, in which case you still lose, but not quite as devastatingly.

*All values are counted by Assfax, Inc.

Ooh, me next! In a monogamous heterosexual relationship, what happens when the one who drinks beer, smokes, eats a lot of meat, watches sports and is not a feminist is the woman, while the man lives by feminist values, hates watching sports, enjoys trying out vegetable recipes, doesn’t smoke and drinks wine? Am I being *slur*-whipped by my SO?

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

Dear Anarchonist, it is clear to me as an MRA that you are merely pretending to be a feminist in order to supplicate towards your girlfriend in the hope that she won’t spermjack you. This is the case even though she isn’t a feminist, because she’s lying about that too. I suggest immediately eating an entire cow and watching approximately 32 hours of porn while intermittently addressing your girlfriend using gendered slurs in order to restore balance to your household.

Anarchonist
Anarchonist
6 years ago

I suggest immediately eating an entire cow

That line made me literally LOL. Well played, cassandrakitty, well played.

Flying Mouse
Flying Mouse
6 years ago

I’ve encountered lots of pseudo-feminist guys like that, most of whom seem to either have drifted into feminism from other leftist movements or to have read something about sex-positive feminism and interpreted it as “this means I get to fuck whoever I want whenever I want, right?”.

That reminds me of our old buddy und from the two thousand comment plus thread a while back. “Of course I support feminism! If you slut-shamed women, they’d never sleep with me!”

GrumpyOldMan
6 years ago

Cassandrakitty is at the top of her game today.

I think I need to mansplain a bit here: “Women have no hobbies” means “I don’t know any women who are involved in my favorite hobby.” You cannot make any sense of anything MRAs say unless you first translate them from manspeak to English. (I can’t remember having conversed with any woman who didn’t have a hobby, assuming she had time left over after job, child care, and housework.)

GrumpyOldMan
6 years ago

Sorry, that should have been misogynistspeak, not manspeak. Manspeak can at times be not too far from English.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

There’s manspeak, and then there’s angrymanspeak, dumbbrospeak (I used to work with a whole small start-up company full of frat bros! wouldn’t recommend it, but I now speak fluent Bro), and confusedbyfeminismspeak. Reddit somehow manages to combine all of these, along with persecutednerdspeak.

Howard Bannister
6 years ago

I think I need to mansplain a bit here: “Women have no hobbies” means “I don’t know any women who are involved in my favorite hobby.”

Add a healthy dollop of ‘and when women do get in my hobby, they’re doing it wrong and must be driven out.’

GrumpyOldMan
6 years ago

So, in other words, women have to be multilingual to survive in the Greater Manosphere (the MRAs being the core Manosphere).

GrumpyOldMan
6 years ago

“Add a healthy dollop of ‘and when women do get in my hobby, they’re doing it wrong and must be driven out.’”

Actually this is unlikely. The bro has probably chosen a hobby that only appeals to people suffering from testosterone poisoning, otherwise known as Testosterone Toxicity Syndrome, or TTS.