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Red Pill dude: Women are "barely-sentient organic sex toys," insufficiently enthusiastic hobbyists.

Why can't women take up interesting hobbies, like men? (Note: this is a real book.)
Why can’t women take up interesting hobbies, like men? (Note: this is a real book.)

 

Now that he’s taken the Red Pill, the Reddittor who calls himself F9R recently announced, he’s “started seeing women as people rather than as magical beautiful goddess creatures.” That’s a good thing, right? Seeing women as actual human beings rather than some imaginary construct?

Well, not so much. Because it turns out that women are just terrible as human beings. No, it’s true! In a rambling comment in the Red Pill subreddit with more than 100 upvotes, F9R reports his scientific findings on the ladies of the world.

Now I’m disillusioned with them because women, for the most part, are boring people. 95% of them spend more time on their appearance than anything else, so as a result they never really have interesting hobbies or develop respectable skill in any particular area. This, in my opinion, could be one of the reasons that women have historically under-performed in almost every activity/industry.

Ah, that explains it! There haven’t been any women presidents, or Popes, or Chairmen of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, because the ladies are spending way too much time fussing with their lipstick and trying to find the exact right shade of eyeshadow.

There haven’t been more women inventors, not because women were denied education for thousands of years or because STEM fields are filled with angry manbabies who cry oppression whenever a woman comes near, but because women don’t have any fascinating, mentally stimulating hobbies like the Red Pillers of the world have. You know, like weight-lifting, or “Game,” or “saying terrible things about women online.”

So you swallow the pill, look around you, and see two groups of people. The first group, men, generally have no innate value and have had to work for everything in life. This is why the loser-winner spectrum is so broad for men; don’t work at all and you’ll end up homeless, work your ass off and you could make millions. The second group, women, have considerable innate value and don’t spend nearly as much time fighting to stay respectable, because they can always fall back on their female safety net; this is why there are almost no homeless women, but it’s rare to find a female CEO.

Ah, the old “female safety net.” You know, the free reserve of rent money and bon bons that all women have access to. Or does he mean “well, if worse comes to worst, you can always become a prostitute”

Not quite as easy to understand as the concept of an oppressive patriarchy, but demonstrably more accurate.

He’s got that right: it’s definitely not as easy to understand.

Tying this in with sex drive: an RP’er will have a hard time respecting plates or women they meet at the bar, because when looking at these women as people rather than as magical, mysterious women, the man will be underwhelmed by her bland personality and/or her obnoxious attempts to seem less bland by being a loud annoying cunt.

Still, if she’s got a nice pair of tits and a round ass, you can forgive her personality and lack of emotional development.

Gosh, I am shocked that a whiny manchild who refers to women as “plates” can’t find anything interesting about them besides their sexy bits.

But then let’s say you get her in bed, and you fuck her, and you’re having a good time. As soon as you finish and are in that refractory period, you look over at the person next to you and see them differently. The tits and ass lose a bit of their appeal since you just finished, and now you see the person next to you for the immature person they really are, and it’s like you’re lying in bed with a child.

Huh. Just a thought, but if you want to date mature women you might want to start by dating, you know, mature women, instead of creepily fixating on women and girls much younger than you are?

Or maybe what’s really happening is that when you look over at the woman you just had sex with, she’s looking at you with disgust, wondering how the hell she ended up in bed with such an asshole, and you rationalize away her disdain towards you as her being “immature.”

It’s weird as fuck and you start to question your life choices. Next time you go out to the bar, you remember that moment, and decide to raise your maturity standards a little. To your dismay, no women measure up.

I hate to tell you this, but I’m pretty sure there aren’t a lot of mature women who see your bitter, immature ass as much of a prize.

That’s the Catch-22 of the Red Pill. It gives you all the women you could ever want, but you see them for what they really are.

Yeah, I’m sure that’s the problem. You’re dizzy with success.

So you’ve got two choices: work on your game and improve yourself in order to keep fucking barely-sentient organic sex toys, or go your own way and focus on your life instead because the game just isn’t worth it to you.

The grapes barely-sentient organic sex toys are definitely sour.

Men who choose the former are Red Pill alphas, and men who choose the latter are MGTOW. Blue Pillers just ignore the game and continue to get screwed over because they have no idea what they’re doing.

Keep telling yourself that.

And seriously, go your own fucking way already. Just do it. The further away, the better. If you think of women as barely sentient organic sex toys, stick with the non-organic, non-sentient variety of sex toy and leave the actual human beings alone.

Oh, and speaking of needlepoint, here’s my favorite song about crocheting. I know I’ve posted it before, but I don’t care. It’s not every day I have such a good excuse to post Julie Ruin.

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sparky
sparky
10 years ago

Oh, and Lucio Fulci’s The Beyond still scares the shit out of me.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
10 years ago

The first movie I remember getting really freaked out about was Jumanji. No, not the creepy monkey boy that looked less human than the Whos in the live action version of The Grinch. No, not being hunted by a trained killer. No, not mosquitoes that can pierce through the metal of a car or a windshield to suck your blood.

The frikken scene where the kid gets sucked into the game for the first time. I literally closed my eyes at that part when we watched it in grade school. That scene terrified me.

These days I occasionally visit SCP or other creepy-pasta sites thinking that I enjoy them. Then I go to sleep with the lights on. For about a week.

Falconer
Falconer
10 years ago

I just couldn’t get why they needed to switch the kids ages and aspects of their personalities.

It’s been forever, but I seem to recall that in the novel the girl had the computer network savvy that advanced the plot, while the boy knew dinos.

I also seem to recall that the movie gave the boy the computer savvy and left him the dino savvy and thus rendered the girl redundant.

I saw the movie while it was in the theater, and I had this big sense of wonder at watching dinos that were fast and deadly rather than sluggish and tail-dragging. Also I was right down front and it was deafening.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
10 years ago

@LBT:

I had no idea you were so tall! Who knew they made Bootsy that big!

Bootsy is all sizes at all times. Bootsy is whatever Bootsy wants to be, and therefore whatever you need her to be.

Praise her!

Falconer
Falconer
10 years ago

@kirbywarp: I hear you. The only thing I had to cover my eyes for recently was Rorschach’s flashback in the Watchmen movie, the one where they changed the plot Because Saw Did It.

I wasn’t expecting them to twist it like that, but I saw it coming just in time and threw my hands over my face.

I wish they’d stop trying to make movies out of Alan Moore’s comics. They don’t translate well.

Shadow
Shadow
10 years ago

Well, like I said, It the movie was my first intro to King but I was way too small to know that. The first time I actively sought out King was when I was in secondary school, so around 9 going on 10. I picked up Christine and had the complete opposite reaction to you Lea, I was so disappointed I didn’t read another King novel for years. I was finally bored and decided to read Pet Semetary which I loved, and then moved on to The Talisman and The Stand and finally understood exactly why people were raving about him.

The only horror movie that has consistently scared the piss out of me is The Exorcist. Movies like The Omen, I enjoy and appreciate how well done they are, but I never have any qualms about throwing them on at any time of day. I still turn The Exorcist off sometimes if I’m watching it alone.

Also, is anyone else still having problems with the Post Comment button. I know when I first encountered it a couple people had that issue, but it just keeps cropping up randomly and it’s been months now.

Shiraz
Shiraz
10 years ago

That’s funny, I started reading King in grade school too, at 8 or 9.

When I was that age, there were all these old eco-horror movies from the ’70s that they’d air on Saturday afternoons — those freaked me out, though now they’re just funny.
Have you ever heard of Frogs? Sam Elliot actually starred in it. I can’t remember any frogs actually killing anyone in the film, but good god damn I remember the giant hairy spider that cocooned a guy. Ewwww, jesus. Kingdom of the Spiders, more ewwwww. When I was little, Creepshow did a number on me. Funny enough, it was the segement starring Stephen King as a backwaters farmer who touches a meteorite and begins to grow green hairy shit all over his body.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
10 years ago

I love Stephen King. I think my first book by him was actually “The Eyes of the Dragon,” more of a fantasy book. Watched Kubrick’s The Shining before I read the book and was amazed at how different it was. Loved Misery, read a bunch of others that I don’t remember the titles of, but not the famous ones like Pet Semetary. Even when I started realizing the pattern and samey-ness of his stories, I still enjoyed them. I guess I’m a sucker for the “drama in a realistic world with a supernatural element.”

Those books never frightened me, really. Got some chills from The Shining because I read it when I was old enough to understand how creepy it was, but that was about it.

maistrechat
10 years ago

I was never hugely into horror as a child (my parents we’re very laissez-faire when it came to my media consumption, but I was terrified of everything as it was) but I had a lot of friends who were.

I somehow ended up convinced that there were vampires in the bathroom whenever the light was off. I was so terrified of this that my parents told me if I just reached around the corner and turned the light on before actually entering the bathroom it would be safe.

It became such a habit that I still do it.

maistrechat
10 years ago

@kirbywarp

Pet Sematary is by far my least favorite King novel. I disliked it so much that I swore off the author entirely for a while. You’re not really missing anything.

Anarchonist
Anarchonist
10 years ago

My most embarrassing memory of a movie monster that scared the shit out of me was the librarian ghost from [i]Ghostbusters[/i], right when she freaks out at the main characters making noise in her library. Years after that, every time I watched the movie, I would skip that part or, when with company, excuse myself and leave the room when the scene came up.

In my defense, I associated the flowing hair and the hollow eyesockets with a recurring nightmare monster I saw as a kid (a floating, screaming corpse of an old woman dressed in a flowing, tattered gown, with her hair flowing wildly – kind of how I imagine a Banshee might look). When I worked up the courage to watch the scene years later, I was both relieved and embarrassed at having been irrationally scared of a what looked like a member of the Finnish hard rock band [i]Lordi[/i].

Other than that, I don’t scare very easily. I love horror movies, and I’m always looking for one that could make me feel at least a bit terrified. The “omnipotent serial killer” trope is just boring and predictable (of course the bad guy’s going to win! How else would the story end?), and movies that rely on shock effects make me yawn. About the only modern horror film that actually had me side-eyeing the shadows for a long time was [i]Lights Out[/i], one of the short horror film entries in the Who’s There film challenge. That one was genuinely creepy, although I do think there’s something seriously wrong with the protagonist’s common sense for not running out of her apartment screaming at the first sign of the entity. It isn’t exactly subtle.

LBT
LBT
10 years ago

Our original girl was scared to fucking death by Shaun of the Dead. Had nightmares all night and insisted on sleeping in our parents’ room. Oddly, I can’t remember any movies giving ME nightmares, though Sneak still gets zombie nightmares every once in a while.

But then, I’ve found I have a pretty high tolerance for psychological horror. It’s gore and jump-scares I can’t stand. (FUCKING JUMP SCARES. They aren’t frightening, they’re sheer reflex, like snapping your fingers in front of someone’s eyes. I hate those!) But I’m a TANK for psych horror!

Anarchonist
Anarchonist
10 years ago

Okay, I was trying out the toolbar on the wrong setting, and it seems it gave me the wrong brackets without me realizing it. This sucks.

Shadow
Shadow
10 years ago

@kirbywarp

The only King books on my shelf are The Stand and The Eyes of The Dragon. Maybe it’s because I’ve always been more of a fantasy fan than anything else, but I’ve definitely enjoyed his more fantasy leaning books. I don’t know if you’ve read The Talisman, but it falls in this category as well. I’ve enjoyed his horror books but I’ve never felt compelled to reread any of them, which is not the case with those three books.

Anarchonist
Anarchonist
10 years ago

FUCKING JUMP SCARES. They aren’t frightening, they’re sheer reflex, like snapping your fingers in front of someone’s eyes. I hate those!

Oh my god yes that’s what i’ve been saying for years i’m glad i’m not the only one man fuck jump scares they’re cheap and lazy and makes your film stupid

Seriously, I was really annoyed at the trailer for Paranormal Activity. “See how the people in the test audience jump at loud noises and sudden movement! Aren’t we masters of horror or what?”

Shadow
Shadow
10 years ago

@Anarchonist

I’m also not sure if i works for WordPress anymore. They changed it to em a while back.

Test

Shadow
Shadow
10 years ago

Never mind, i still works

Also, holy shit this Post Comment thing pisses me off

Shadow
Shadow
10 years ago

I’m with you guys on Jump Scares. If I can recover from the scares in 2 seconds, it’s no more a horror movie than your mate jumping out of a closet and saying boo

Ally S
10 years ago

I never read any fiction when I was a kid, besides The Grand Escape by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor and Dune by Frank Herbet (which I was never able to finish).

Most of the books I read as a kid (specifically ages 7-13) were non-fiction. I read books on meterology*, geology, anthropology, geography, Oriental history, astronomy, and cultural studies. I also read maps and dictionaries on a regular basis just for fun.

*Intellectualization was a coping mechanism for me during the worst of my lilapsophobia. Instead of constantly being afraid of tornadoes, I tried to make myself feel better by learning about tornadogenesis and trying to apply whatever I learned to help my family avoid being killed by a tornado. Yep, I was a weird kid.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
10 years ago

@maistrechat:

I somehow ended up convinced that there were vampires in the bathroom whenever the light was off. I was so terrified of this that my parents told me if I just reached around the corner and turned the light on before actually entering the bathroom it would be safe.

I had something similar, but I never really settled on what was in the shadows. Sometimes it was wolves, sometimes it was something else. I just knew there was a monster waiting in a darkened bathroom, waiting for me to let my guard down as I passed by to get some water at night.

I had to run wherever I went as a kid when it was late at night.

RE jumpscares:

My brother and I had this thing when we were kids where we’d hide around a corner at the top of the stairs or something and wait for the other to pass by, jump out at them, and then laugh when they jumped and screamed. Then we grew up and realized it was a reflex.

I’d say “I hope the movie industry realizes this lesson,” but then they’d actually have to put effort into their horror films.

hellkell
hellkell
10 years ago

Shadow: Have you read Black House, the sequel to The Talisman? It’s not bad at all.

I’m with you on The Exorcist, saw that way too young, and NOPE.

Ally S
10 years ago

Speaking of watching terrifying movies at an inappropriately young age, my dad forced my older brother – who was 4 at the time – to watch Silence of the Lambs. Yeah…

Lea
Lea
10 years ago

I don’t mind a jump scare now and then. Too many make the movie funny instead of scary though. My eldest and I were going to see horror movies at the theater when few other people were there for a while just to watch movies like Sinister. They were not horror gems. We went so that we could get jump scared and creeped/sqicked out while also laughing our butts off. The jump scares in some movies are so predictable that we’d whisper to each other, “Jump scare in 3, 2, AHHHHH!”

I am a horror fan. The kids all want to watch spooky stuff with me. I keep it age appropriate, but some of the stuff geared toward kids is still pretty creepy. One night when the same kid was much younger, I rented a Goosebumps movie and ordered a pizza. Just at the point in the movie where the werewolves were being extra scary, there was a loud knock. My daughter screamed a blood curdling scream and climbed me as I stood up and tried to answer the door. It took me a minute to answer the door.

Just imagine what the pizza guy heard on the other side of that door.

By the time I made it to the door and opened it, the look on his face…

Lea
Lea
10 years ago

The only devil movie that ever really spooked me was Mr. Frost. Jeff Goldblum was so eerie in that film.

katz
10 years ago

The frikken scene where the kid gets sucked into the game for the first time. I literally closed my eyes at that part when we watched it in grade school. That scene terrified me.

That scene gave me nightmares for literally years.