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Open Thread for Personal Stuff: August 2014 Suspended Kitty Edition

Crap.
Crap.

An open thread for personal stuff, continuing from here.

As usual for these threads: no trolls, no MRAs, no arguments.

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blahlistic (@blahlistic)

working way through article…upsetting but topical to here:
http://www.postandcourier.com/tilldeath/index.html

kittehserf - MOD
kittehserf - MOD
6 years ago

titianblue, I think you’re right. Kitties have to know All The Things. Mads was sure there was some deep sinister reason I wouldn’t let her go down the hall this morning. My claim that Mum was asleep and could do without cats bashing at her door just didn’t cut it at all.

blahlistic, I’m sure that sign hangs over many a house! Even across the veil, too – Mr K and I have nineteen Furrinati overlords so far, over there, three of ’em blow-ins on that side.

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

Sometimes humans are cruel and committing grave miscatries by shutting cats away. When I make tuna sandwiches I have to shut Dracarys in the bathroom because she gets too excited. In order for Darrow to eat his share and me to prepare my sandwiches in peace, she has to be contained. She just starts throwing herself at the door. It’s hilarious.

kittehserf - MOD
kittehserf - MOD
6 years ago

Oooh, you cruel, cruel mother, causing angst and disturbance to a poor little innocent kitty!

I s’pose that’s a miscatriage of justice.

Dvärghundspossen
6 years ago

I only figured out I wasn’t exactly woman between the ears about 2010 ish…I just knew I couldn’t wear something girly unless I wore something guyly to compensate, balance.

It’s really interesting how much people’s experiences can vary. I don’t have a problem with girly/womanly clothes, accessories, make-up and all that stuff – I actually like it. I often wear men’s clothes as well, but… There’s like NO particular CLOTHING or ACCESSORY that makes me feel that this is wrong for me because of gender. I can wear anything!
I still have this teensy bit of body dysphoria going on though, where I feel that a feminine bodyshape with thin little tooth pick arms, wasp waist and big boobs is sort of “wrong” for me. I have to be careful with how I express myself here, because if I merely say that I don’t wanna have a feminine-looking body, then people always jump to the conclusion that I’m on a weight-loss diet and try to diet away my curves, whereas I’m rather building my original feminine curves away while putting on more weight.

blahlistic (@blahlistic)

I have a pretty androgynous body, save for the great big hips. I feel better about the body since figuring out I’m third-gender.

Though I also wish for a visit from the Bicep Fairy. :p
Cursed carpal tunnel issue, making me stick to the light weights.

Dvärghundspossen
6 years ago

I have fairly wide hips too… I’m trying to make them look more narrow by comparison by pumping up everything else, particularly shoulders. 🙂
Googled Carpan Tunnel Syndrome since I didn’t know what it was… seems shitty, I’m sorry. 🙁

contrapangloss
6 years ago

No hips for me!

My sister got all the hips and I got all the chest. If you swapped us at the waist, you’d have one perfectly straight figure and one perfect hourglass figure. The straight figure would be really short and the hourglass would be tall, because the hips go with her long legs and the chest comes with a ridiculously long torso.

I buy lots of guy jeans, because appropriately waisted women’s jeans are really, really baggy at my hips and butt.

kittehserf - MOD
kittehserf - MOD
6 years ago

I was smallish in bust and hips most of my life. That really only changed with middle-age spread, and mostly with non-alcoholic fatty liver disease, NAFLD. It creates a good deal of fat in front and makes a very droopy belly. I don’t like it much, but neither does it bother me – I’ve made all the changes I’m willing to do diet-wise, I can’t do vigorous exercise because asthma/stuffed knee/location, so it’s pretty much “tough shit” in that department. If it cuts years off my time here, fine, I have no wish to hang around for decades more. Getting fatter has given me bigger breasts, which I admit to being quite happy about, and I’ve never wanted to wear clinging clothes anyway, so it’s not a drama there.

pallygirl
pallygirl
6 years ago

I kind of got curves in my late 30s/early 40s, having been pretty much straight up and down (so needing to wear belts to hold on jeans, for example) for most of my life. With some stuff that’s happened over the past almost year, I’ve lost 11 kg and I’m back down to where I was weightwise almost 20 years ago. My father’s side tends to have women who are flat – no bust, hips, or bum. My issue with weighing more is that I always liked having a relatively androgynous figure, and developing a stereotypically woman’s body created body image problems for me. I’m happy where I am now weightwise.

I like hippy/boho/romantic girly clothes, but I could also live in jeans, tshirts and boots. I’ve had dreadlocks. I’m currently in the process of getting a relatively large back tattoo, and I’m stretching my bottom ear piercings.

I do get tired of the idea that there is “woman” clothing and “men” clothing. I just wish society was mature enough that people could wear what they damn well wanted, and that it was available in their size and affordable. But then I pick my friends for their witty repartee and how nice they are, not on how they conform to any societal expectations about what they “should” like or not like. 🙂

tl;dr I hope that all of us are wearing the clothes we want to wear.

Also, in 20-ish years, I am so buying a purple hat.

gilshalos
6 years ago

What I would like to understand is why is female clothing sizes so messed up ?
In the past few years I’ve been buying some stuff from the men’s sections, just to get plain comfy clothing, and it was mindblowing.
All you need to know is waist/leg/chest measurements!!!

No remembering what size you normally are, finding out whether this shop sizes larger or smaller than normal, trying things on and varying +/- 3 sizes between shops on the same day!!!!!

They have measurements for belts for trousers, not just S/M/L !!

kittehserf - MOD
kittehserf - MOD
6 years ago

You could crochet a purple hat! One with a gorgeous big brim.

pallygirl
pallygirl
6 years ago

I am so jealous about men’s clothing and their sizing logic and consistency. Clearly women have the superior maths skills because we keep having to do mental arithmetic between different brands – and even between seasons in the same bloody brand, because:
– sizing is completely different, e.g. US compared to EU compared to AU/NZ
– not just sizing but also the ratio of bust to waist to hip differs
– and some list clothing as the actual size, whereas others list it as “to fit” people with that sizing

Mere manly man brains cannot logic this type of complexity!

Mmmm crocheted purple hat…..

Dvärghundspossen
6 years ago

It’s weird, btw, how “curvaceous” tends to be used as a euphemism for “slightly fat”. You can be thin and curvaceous, and slightly fat and have a straight body. And if you’re thin and curvaceous to start with, you might become straighter by building up certain muscles – like the muscles at the side of your waist and your leg muscles, until your thighs and waist matches your hips in width, building up shoulders until they’re bigger than the hips, building up chest muscles might flatten out the boobs a bit and so on.

pallygirl
pallygirl
6 years ago

Oh yes. And women’s clothing manufacturers work with certain preconceived ideas such that if a woman has broad shoulders, she is also a D cup. When I was in my 20s, and buying shirts for work such that I could use my arms in front of me and not be held back by the material being too tight across the back, they just used to billow at the front of me.

Do men just have fewer body variations? Because their sizing seems to work fine.

kittehserf - MOD
kittehserf - MOD
6 years ago

Not to mention the idea that if you need bigger trousers, you must also be tall. I really do not like the accordion-leg look. Apart from anything else, it reminds me of Little Johnny Howard. ::hurl::

gilshalos
6 years ago

On a brighter clothing note, have you seen these Kitteh and others down South ?
http://www.boredpanda.com/bird-wing-scarves-shovava-roza-khamitova/

blahlistic (@blahlistic)

I grew up in the 80s and am a dorkty dork, therefore I decided I shall carry on with cuffing my trousers at the bottom, even though that’s very out of fashion.
Nyaaaah.
Pants need to be loose anyway.
If you can’t kick someone in the head in your pants, your pants are too tight. 😀

Flying Mouse
Flying Mouse
6 years ago

Those scarves are great, gilshalos. And it turns out the maker ships worldwide from her Etsy store…

Lea
Lea
6 years ago

gilshalos ,
Those are gorgeous!

gilshalos
6 years ago

Yeah, I haven’t dared check the shipping costs in case it’s only mildly extortionate.

(Uh, comment on distance between Aus and Scotland, not about shipper or artist)

Aitch
Aitch
6 years ago

Hi everyone, another long time lurker using the personal thread to say hi, hope that’s ok 🙂

I’m 26, from Norway living in Germany, used to identify as a straight cis man (with some gender issues which I preferred to bury in my brain) but really have no idea anymore. Androgyny seems as good as anything else atm, but I’m too scared to change my identification in spaces I’ve already introduced myself in.

I began reading in late 2011 I think – related to getting more insight into the antifeminism of the Norwegian shooter, I felt that got missed among the anti-Muslim angle – and lurked around since. I like reading the feminist arguments, they seem to explain the world much better than any other social belief system I’ve come across, and I feel it’s important to be aware of the hate that less privileged people face.

Re the recent posts about clothes (well they were recent, I dunno when moderation will let through my post 🙂 ); I find white knit sweaters cute right now 🙂 And wish my body would fit them better. I’d throw in a link but don’t want the various monsters to eat me.

Oh, and I don’t really like animals. I hope y’all will be able to forgive this.

pallygirl
pallygirl
6 years ago

Hi Aitch, for the first time ever I get to be the one to welcome someone with the welcome package: http://artistryforfeminismandkittens.wordpress.com/the-official-man-boobz-complimentary-welcome-package/

The personal misanimalism is fine, so long as you /whispers “pretend to like kitties”
or you could just go and make male penguins sit on hard chairs. 🙂

White knit sweaters are always awesome. 🙂

gillyrosebee
6 years ago

I’m feeling hella triggered today, so I am taking the day to do ALL THE THINGS, primarily those that happen away from the interwebs. Finishing some built-in bookcases, for one, and I went shopping for materials for the Regency-era corset that is part of the two period get-ups I have always wanted to have.

Which brings me to my question for all: Has anyone ever made a corset (specifically Regency or 1880s silhouette but any, really) and do you have suggestions, cautions or advice to offer?

gillyrosebee
6 years ago

Hey, pallygirl, nice to see you, glad you are sticking around!!

Aitch
Aitch
6 years ago

Hi Aitch, for the first time ever I get to be the one to welcome someone with the welcome package: http://artistryforfeminismandkittens.wordpress.com/the-official-man-boobz-complimentary-welcome-package/

Thanks pallygirl! I will take it to heart.

I think we should reserve the hard chairs for MRAs (Tom Martin?). I don’t want any particular harm to come to penguins or kitties, it’s just that it’s not really my world, so I can definitely pretend to like them. 🙂 And the spinning seal is cute (and gives zero fucks)

gilshalos
6 years ago

I have made a couple of corsets, though more medieval ones. If I was at home, I could find the ref for the website the second time, when i was doing it alone.
Um..just general stuff.
Measure carefully.
Cut out your pattern in cheap material first to check.
Be very careful with the seams over the ends of the boning, especially if it is metal. They get a /lot/ of wear from them.
http://www.renaissancetailor.com/demos_corset.htm is a good general site for reading about corsetmaking.

Nope, you’re lucky, can’t find any photos of the one I made online, they are all on my home computer where I can’t find them for 10 days or so 🙂

gillyrosebee
6 years ago

Thanks, gilshalos, that’s a really interesting site and I’ve now bookmarked it!

gillyrosebee
6 years ago

So, I’m sitting in my office, and down on the street a kid is walking by with his mother and singing a military style marching cadence in meows. And now I’m grinning and giggling.

katz
6 years ago

As of today, all my orange kitties have been adopted 🙂

Unimaginative
6 years ago

Yay, katz!

I used to have an hourglass figure, before I got fat — well, I still had one, except bigger. And then my boobs kinda got out of control, and now I’m ridiculously top-heavy.

Anyway, even back when I was normal-sized, I had to surreptitiously* split up top & bottom pairs, because my bottom was always a size 9-ish and my top a size 13-ish. Sizes just vary so much, I have no idea, so I make a guess and try things on. And then I get chafed and impatient and give up. I hate clothes shopping.

*For some odd reason, retailers want you to buy pairs in, um, pairs. And back in those days, having matching or complementary tops and bottoms was a thing.

kittehserf - MOD
kittehserf - MOD
6 years ago

gilshalos, wow! I hadn’t seen those scarves. They’re stunning. Really like the first owl one!

(Uh, comment on distance between Aus and Scotland, not about shipper or artist)

I so know what you mean! Though you know one weird thing? It takes far less time for stuff to reach me from the UK than from the US. I’ve had UK deliveries arrive within a week, and that’s not express!

Aitch, welcome! And yay to white sweaters. Do you like the elaborately knit ones, the Aran types?

gillyrosebee, lots of hugs, and wish I’d heard meowing kid! 😀

katz, yay for the kitty adoptions!

grumpycatisagirl
6 years ago

Kitty adoptions, hooray!

pallygirl
pallygirl
6 years ago

Yay for all the adopted kitties to their forever homes. 🙂

@unimaginative: my issue has always been that I’ve been tall for my age and if you’re tall you must also have a relatively large bust. For ?reasons. So I had years of two piece things where the top fitted, but the bottom didn’t or vice versa. Also not helped as a teenager by a mother who would buy me clothing that was randomly 3 or 4 sizes too large – which is how I ended up with a very badly fitting one-piece bathing suit on year. It also meant it took me years to actually like clothes – as opposed to throwing on things to keep warm/not be naked.

kittehserf - MOD
kittehserf - MOD
6 years ago

I was lucky with kid clothing, my mum made quite a few of my outfits and I loved ’em.

She made a couple of matching outfits for my teddy bear, too. 🙂

Unimaginative
6 years ago

Kittehs, my mom made a lot of our clothes when I was very small. My sister and I had matching maxi-dresses and panchos and shirts and skirts. She made me jeans one year, with my initial on the back pocket. She made us kilts when we were in Scottish dancing. Good lord, she had talent! I didn’t appreciate a lick of it.

When I was a teenager in the ’80’s, though, home-made clothes were horribly un-cool. Also, mom had gone back to full-time work when my little brother went to Grade 1, and didn’t have a lot of time for sewing anymore. (No such thing as maternity leave back then, either.)

katz
6 years ago

If anyone wants a little pick me up, here’s our wee Clementine getting a bath from her new big brother.

Unimaginative
6 years ago

I eat you!

Nuh-uh, I eat YOU!

kittehserf - MOD
kittehserf - MOD
6 years ago

Lick! Lick! CHOMP!

Unimaginative, your mum sounds like she was even better at clothes-making than mine. I remember a royal blue corduroy popover dress with a red zip down the front and a pleated hem – I loved that garment, the frill said “ballerina dress” to me when I was all of six. Mum knitted most of my jumpers when I was in primary school, but similarly to yours, she was working after that (this is from, oh, late 70s) and by then I was hitting my teens and not really wanting or needing home-made clothes. Thank goodness for the school uniform at high school, horrible as it was: my taste in clothes was quite unformed but it sure didn’t run to whatever was fashionable.

Aitch
Aitch
6 years ago

kittehs, yeah definitely elaborate ones 🙂 I love the different patterns that you get on them. The Aran ones I find on seem a wee bit too warm for this weather though (I’m still pretending it’s summer) I like lighter ones like this also.

I have bad memories about kid clothes. Especially the ‘fine’ boys’ clothes, shirt and tie and pants that signal ‘look at this little man who is going to conquer the world when he grows up’. Ugh socialization. I did throw enough tantrums about it (not feeling proud of it but the kid way of resolving problems), that eventually my mum gave up and allowed me to wear my usual all-day clothes instead. 🙂

*prays that link mammoth leaves me alone*

kittehserf - MOD
kittehserf - MOD
6 years ago

That’s a pretty jumper, all right!

I love the look of the Arans so much, but winter here in Oz just doesn’t get cold enough to wear them. One day I want to knit something of the sort, but it’ll be an open jacket and in a lighter yarn, 8ply at most, I think.

I love seeing Mr K in his fancy knits. (Of course, lol.)

marinerachel
6 years ago

I love that kitten’s coat.

Question for the peanut gallery: with contraception and STI testing, how long before two people forgo using condoms? Just wondering what the general consensus is.

kittehserf - MOD
kittehserf - MOD
6 years ago

Can’t help on that one, sorry!

pallygirl
pallygirl
6 years ago

I thought the limiting factor was how long to wait before an HIV test can be done post last partner. Which, back when I had my last test (thanks cheating partner #2) was a 3 month wait since last sex with possible infection contact. But that was like 15 years ago, so no idea what it is now.

Aitch
Aitch
6 years ago

kittehs, thanks 😀 open wool jackets are nice too, and a lot easier to wear and fit. Just a warm fuzzy feeling they give off.
That’s another neat pattern on Mr K there. There’s probably precise vocabulary for identifying these but I’ll settle for adjectives atm. 🙂 At least with an open neck it isn’t quite as hot as the turtleneck ones.

No idea on marinerachel’s question here either. I’ve never really talked it out in my relationships, because awkward.

kittehserf - MOD
kittehserf - MOD
6 years ago

Warm fuzzy feelings are what I love about big knitted jackets! 🙂

I tend to go “Aran” or call things a fancy cable or something, I’m not flash with the terminology either. I can’t be having with the high necklines on knitwear these days. Skivvies yes, if they’re not tight, but not the jumpers. Mr K’s the same; I think forty years of high lace collars and stiffened doublet collars put him off forever.

Unimaginative
6 years ago

Oh, man, my little brother has been pining for one of those sweaters for years! They don’t come ready-made in anywhere near his size, and he somehow hasn’t tracked down a knitter willing to devote a year of his/her life to making one for him. (I’m exaggerating slightly, but still. He’s a big fellah, with a very long back.)

Dvärghundspossen
6 years ago

Or you can just keep using condoms for the birth control value. 🙂 Obvs each person decides for themselves, but it seems to me that it’s super ingrained in our culture that condoms are only for STD protection, so in LTR the woman (or person with womb and eggs, but that’s almost always a woman) is supposed to take pills or put something in her womb or the like instead – condoms are out of the question.

I used to be on the pill and was fine with it – although a scary amount of women, judging from stories I’ve been told by members on a pretty big Swedish feminist board where I used to be a member, seem to go round with more or less troublesome side effects from the pill that they regard as something simply to be put up with. Eventually, though, me and Husband decided to stop using the pill for birth control after we read an article on the environmental effects (like frogs and toads having fertility problems due to all the hormones floating around in brooks and swamps nowadays). Since we’re both scared of sterilization, we do condoms. They’re like 98 % safe (meaning 2 out of a 100 condom users get pregnant each year) if used perfectly – and perfectly only means you use them properly every time that you have sex, not that you’re some kind of amazing condom expert.
So, as I said, everyone decides for themselves, but I wish more people would at least deliberate about whether to just continue using condoms rather than taking as a given that the woman should do something with her body instead.

marinerachel
6 years ago

I’m the one who doesn’t like condoms. I have an IUD because I don’t want to use condoms if I’m exclusively having sex with someone for months and neither of us has any infections.

I won’t go the hormone route either though. Side effects alone chased me away from hormonal birth control.

marinerachel
6 years ago

I’mma be Professor Buzzkill for just a sec:

Relevant background info – I don’t believe in responsible breeding of cats and dogs as pets. As long as there are cats and dogs without homes being needlessly euthanised, I don’t think it should be permitted. Every cat or dog purchased is a death sentence for one who could have been adopted.

Anyways, I was listening to a couple old woman Rhodesian ridgeback breeders. Both expressed frustration over and described as silly the fact it’s hard to get a lot of vets to euthanise ridgeless puppies and that they have to go to great lengths to find old vets who view animals as a resource to put down healthy puppies due to ridgelessness. When confronted about the fact “These puppies are healthy” one argued “We percieve their lack of ridge as a genetic defect.” So, because a dog doesn’t qualify as pedigree it’s “defective” despite that genetic difference having no impact on it’s health and wellbeing (except for the fact you kill it if that’s the case.) These people Godwin themselves.